This is topic Well. I guess it's official. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Yup.

There's another little Ketchup packet on the way.

I really wasn't expecting this. Our birth control obviously failed. We're not insured yet. I guess Emma and I will go down on Monday and see if we qualify for Medicaid. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I think I'll be happy once I know that I'm going to be able to get prenatal care somehow. But right now, I feel kind of like someone came up behind me, stuck a gun in my back, and mugged me. It's so unexpected.

I wanted another baby. But we were going to wait a bit. From the beginning of my pregnancy with Emma, I was thinking of her as my baby. But I can't think like that yet-- especially after that unexpected miscarriage. I'm just afraid, I guess. Afraid to have the baby, afraid to lose it.

They gave me an estimated date based on my last period, but I don't think it's accurate-- I think I may have skipped one period from stress, and only one from pregnancy. But I'll have to have a sonogram to be sure. And to do that, I have to find some way to get myself prenatal care.

Yes, I'm taking my vitamins. I was on and off before, too; I forget because I hate them so much. [Wink] But I won't forget any more.

I wish I could be happy, but I can't quite yet. I will, though. Already, I am thinking of what we're going to do when the baby outgrows the bassinette. So I guess I'm on the road to acceptance.

Prayers would be nice, though.
 
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
Congratulations and prayers.
 
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
 
Even if you're not at that point yet, KQ-I'm very happy for you and your husband.

Since you're not working out of the home right now, already have a baby with one on the way, unless your husband really rakes it in, you should qualify for MediCal.

Don't forget to utilize your local Freecycle. If they are like mine, they offer lots of baby supplies.

I do have a question though, which birth control method failed you?
 
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
(((kq))) I had one of those, though I won't say which one. Still, I think it's silly for there to be a stigma on unplanned children. And I've had two children without insurance. Even if you can't get medicaid (and we didn't apply) there might be programs where you pay a set fee and can go your prenatal care included. But maybe that's only in Utah. I know that getting women into prenatal care early is a major public health initiative.

Our "surprise" baby was a forgotten condom- We forgo them for the first 10 days of my cycle but it was like the 15th day and we both managed to forget. My husband chalks it up to subconscious desire/God.
 
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Our first son was paid for through the Health Department. I don't advise it if you can avoid whatecer version you have there -- Teres had to wait for hours at the offices for every appointment and you don't get much in the way of a personal doctor -- but we managed to afford it.

Good luck and congratulations!
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
We used a condom. It didn't work.

This has happened twice now. The clinic suggested next time we add a diaphragm to the mix as well.

They have apparently changed requirements for MediCal. Our gross income is more than 200% the federal poverty level-- so we apparently don't qualify. But I'm hoping they'll be like Texas-- we went in there with proof of expenses, proof of income, everything, and all they asked is, "Do you have proof of pregnancy? And no insurance? Okay, there you go." Maybe what's listed isn't really applicable to uninsured pregnant women.
 
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
Is there something in the water at Hatrack? Seriously. I'm starting to wonder if I should avoid hatrack until I'm ready to have kids. o_O
 
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
KQ, I'm sorry you are going through this emotional craziness right now. I am confident that you will get to the point where you are excited about the pregnancy and can't imagine it any other way. You have lots of time yet to get to that point--no rush. [Smile]

But for now, congrats on the surprise! Being as I am all excited about my pregnancy, it is easy for me to want to be excited for others as well.

Good luck in finding a good insurance solution. Sometimes I think that maternity coverage should come standard, since surprises do often happen. (I am not sure what I think, because I don't know what the ramifications would be.) The only way you are not at risk for a surprise is to abstain from sex completely.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
quote:
The only way you are not at risk for a surprise is to abstain from sex completely.
And wouldn't my husband love that. (Although since I have a yeast infection...)
 
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
Well, of course the other way to not be at risk for a surprise is to already be pregnant. [Wink]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Yes, that's one of the first things I said. "Well, I guess we can put the condoms away..."
 
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
Are you just uninsured now, or do you not plan on being insured anytime soon?

The reason I ask is because I just called my insurance company to find out about specific pregnancy benefits, and I found out that with my plan, pregnancy is never considered a pre-existing condition. I know there were several individual plans I looked at before going with my work's plan (with United Healthcare) and none of them would cover pregnancy unless you got pregnant after you began making payments.

All I'm saying is that if you can't get on Medicaid, you're not doomed to paying delivery costs and whatnot without any help. There may be insurance plans that will still cover you.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I've never talked to a company that would cover a pre-existing pregnancy. Ever.

Many of them won't even cover my asthma. And that's not that expensive to treat!
 
Posted by divaesefani (Member # 3763) on :
 
I'm sorry you can't be excited right now, kq. My husband was unemployed when we found out I was pregnant, so it was kinda hard to be excited. Luckily, we did qualify for medicaid.

As for insurance, the way it works here in Colorado is that if you are buying an individual policy, your initial coverage date has to be at least one year prior to the date of delivery. But if it's a group policy (say through your husband's work?) it would cover the remainder of your pregnancy. So hopefully you can get coverage through his work, and hopefully it works the same there as it does here? If not, I'm praying for you to qualify for medicaid. It was my lifesaver.
 
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 
(((((kq))))

My midwife has a saying, that pregnancy lasts 9 months so we can get used to the idea. If you need to talk, let me know.

and congrats!!

If neither insurance or medicaid work out, tap into the local midwives. They may be more likely to set up a payment plan.
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
(((kq)))
quote:
My midwife has a saying, that pregnancy lasts 9 months so we can get used to the idea.
So true. I think even in planned pregnancies when you find out it's FOR SURE you (at I do) panic just a little and warm up to the idea over time.

Congratulations! It's hard not to be excited to have you join the expectant hatrackers.

I'm Canadian so health insurance is a non issue here. I have used midwives before though and I think they provide excellent care and are generally less expensive than MDs. If you had an uncomplicated delivery the first time it might be a good option for you. Good luck!
 
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
 
Gah! Ketchup everywhere!
 
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
 
{{{{KQ and KPC}}}}
I know everything is going to work out for you, one way or another.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
quote:
Gah! Ketchup everywhere!
[ROFL] That was just what I needed. Literal LOL there. Thank you.

Thanks for the good wishes, everyone. [Smile]
 
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
 
WOOT! More baby Ketchups in the world is a wonderful thing, girl! Slap Jeff on the back for me and tell him, "Good job!"
 
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
 
(Also, if you need anything, just call me.)

(And I really do mean anything.)
 
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
Congrats, KQ.

Your first post reminds me very much of how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with Ivygirl. We were broke, I had been sick, we were on the verge of divorce (and did get divorced when she was one). I felt like it was the worst possible time to get pregnant.

However, looking back now -- what a wonderful blessing this child, now a young woman, has been to my life. How I can't imagine my life without her! God knew what I needed, even if I didn't.

My prayers are with you. Remember your faith to get you through your uncertainty.

Farmgirl
 
Posted by Wendybird (Member # 84) on :
 
Surprises often bring unexpected blessings with them!

All of my babies have been medicaid babies unfortunately. My second started with insurance but dh got fired. Because of his heart trouble his medical bills would have destroyed us so it was an unfortunate blessing if that makes sense. #3 was a complete surprise, found out just after we moved and we couldn't find a job with affordable insurance because of son #2. But I also figure we are working hard to support ourselves and doing the best we can so if we have to take medicaid benefits at least we are working for them.

I hope your pgcy goes smoothly and many congratulations!
(if there is something in the hatrack water can you send me as much as possible??? [Wink] )
 
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
your highness,

congratulations... and let me second the recommendation for a Certified Nurse Midwife.

The *total* cost for our last three children was about $6500 (that's all three put together) and we had payment plans for all of it.

Also the birth experiences were very pleasant and very intimate (Robby and Will were born at home which was really amazingly comfortable and smooth).
 
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
KQ, we have a saying, "Gam Zo L'Tova" (this, too, is for the best). While plans may seem at the moment to be derailed, remember that all the planning is not ours to do. This will turn out to be for the good, according to G'd's plans. Trust that he knows what he's doing!

And "ketchup packet"? Gotta love it! Perhaps the new screen name for the little squirt?
 
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
 
Ahem!
I would like to take this opportunity to say :
I TOLD YOU SO!
Also-congrats, good wishes, happy thoughts and all the other good feelings I have to give!
[Big Grin]
 
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
 
(((((kq)))))

I did suspect as much. [Wink]

I'm sorry for your shock, and unpreparedness. I can only imagine now how I would feel if I got pregnant. [Eek!]

I am sure you will become happier, and more accepting as time goes on though. And then you'll have a virtual condiment bar!

Please let mw know if there is anything I can do.

[Smile]

PS - Maybe too personal, but have you considered going on the pill contraceptive wise? If this is the second time this has happened to you with condoms, it might be something to consider, at least.
 
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
 
There are many birth control pills that can be used while nursing, but you probably know that.
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
[Smile] and *hug*
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Unfortunately, because of a family history of stroke while on hormonal bc (including my sister, who narrowly missed one while on low-dose hormonal bc) and a personal history of low blood pressure, I've been told it's not a good option for me.

Otherwise I would so be all over that.

The nurse practitioner at PP suggested adding another layer or two-- her suggestion was a diaphragm.
 
Posted by andi330 (Member # 8572) on :
 
I don't know about pregnancy, but due to other health conditions I do know about continuous coverage. There is a law in place that states that if you can prove that you had coverage on a previous plan and have not been without insurance for more than 90 days insurance companies cannot refuse to cover your previous conditions.

It may not work for pregnancy, but it should help with asthma depending on how long you've been without insurance. The law is called HIPAA, it stands for the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. There are usually hoops that you have to go through with many insurance companies to prove you had the condition and were being treated for it.

The two most important things I've learned over the last few years are: 1) ALWAYS get a statment from your previous insurance company stating the length of time you were covered by them and 2)if you have to be without a regular insurance provider for more than 90 days, look into a short-term policy, they count as continous coverage, even if they won't cover regular doctors visits, and will keep you covered for emergencies so that you don't have to pay through the nose for the rest of your life if you have to go to the emergency room etc.

Many short-term policies last for about six months and if you haven't used them, they can often be extended. Some are quite reasonable as well, when I was without insurance after I graduated college, I paid about $25/month for my short-term policy until I got a job with insurance.

For more information about HIPAA go here.

Congratulations on the pregnancy and I hope this helped a little. [Smile]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I haven't had insurance since I was, oh, 18 or so. Jeff has never had coverage through his work before. But thank you for trying. [Smile]
 
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
kq, I know Alabama has a program for uninsured pregnancies and the amount of care the women got was phenomenal. A friend of the family was going through an uninsured pregnancy at the same time I was pregnant with my first and she actually got more care paid for than I did - my insurance company would only pay for one sonar, hers didn't limit it. She stayed in the hospital 2 days, they kicked me out after 24 hours.

So don't worry about coverage, I think you'll qualify for some help. Don't forget WIC as well.

And good luck with the pregnancy. When I got pregnant with Natalie, Wes and I had only been married three months. We were not planning it, and we were on birth control too. I felt much like you described - like I'd been mugged. I think it's pretty obvious that I don't feel that way anymore and I'm actually quite thrilled I had my family so early. Hang in there, the acceptance will come.
 
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
*hugs KQ*
 
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
 
Aw, another little ketchup on the way. [Smile]

Hang in there, kq, you'll figure out a way to manage. [Smile]

((hugs))
 
Posted by Jhai (Member # 5633) on :
 
Hey kq - there are some pretty simple tests you can have done to see if birth control pills would be dangerous for you. The main one would be the Factor V Leiden test - if it comes back negative, you're probably pretty safe to take the pill, as that's the number one genetic problem that causes strokes and blood clots in women on the pill. However, if it comes back positive, it may be harder (& more expensive) for you to get life and health insurance.

I realize this is a bit like locking the barn after the cow has escaped, but you might want to consider it after this latest Ketchup is born.
 
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
 
Hmm. No, we don't know enough about clotting disorders for me to suggest that test. She'd have to tested for numerous things, including phospholipids antibodies, not just factor V leiden, and even if they are all negative that doesn't prove anything. Going over her history with a hematologist who specializes in clotting disorders to discuss her risks could be useful if she really wants to try the pill, I suppose.

OTOH, if the affected sister was tested and came up positive for something, and kq was tested for that and was negative, that WOULD be very useful information, actually.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I'll certainly think about that.

When I have health insurance. [Wink]
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Belle:
kq, I know Alabama has a program for uninsured pregnancies and the amount of care the women got was phenomenal.

*bell rings* Wait wait wait! California definitely has something like that!

*searches* AIM - Access for Infants and Mothers, specifically targeting "mid-income" uninsured pregnant women.

But,
quote:
You must have lived in California for the last 6 months.
[Frown]

However, if the point at which that will be true is earlier than your 30th week of pregnancy, you can apply then. [Dont Know]
 
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
KQ,

The same thing happened to us. We were either going to wait, or just stay with one child.

Do not worry! It will work out. You will get insurance. You will look back, like I am now, and wonder how on earth you could ever have lived your life without your second(or third, or fourth) child.

Still, I undersatnd your feelings completely. It is scary. It would be fabulous if we could all get by on love alone, as the songs often say, but we can't. Hang in there!
 
Posted by MandyM (Member # 8375) on :
 
Congrats ketchup! I know just how you feel. This is EXACTLY how I would feel if I were to *surprise* get pregnant right now too and for all the same reasons. We still owe bills from baby #1 and she is almost 3! But once the baby is here, you won't be able to imagine you life any other way. Good luck!
 
Posted by Jhai (Member # 5633) on :
 
Theca - while I agree that just Factor V Leiden wouldn't be conclusive, it's the most likely thing that would cause blood clotting/strokes on the Pill (due to the way it affects the clotting cascade). Also, the gene is relatively abundent in the caucasian gene pool (compared to other clotting disorders, and excluding MTHFR, of course), which points to it being the most likely cause of her sister's problems. If that one came back negative, then - considering how most other genetic blood clotting problems don't cause the same level of risk that Factor V does with the Pill - I'd say that it's relatively safe for her to try the pill. Not perfectly safe, but what really is?

There are other tests that would be a good idea, but there's also a cost to getting so many labs done, that may not be worth the benefit.

I say this as someone who, although not medically trained, has gone through the WHOLE (and I do mean whole) battery of tests that a hemotologist might order when looking for clotting disorders, and who has come up positive on a goodly number of those. I've educated myself very, very well on this little sub-field, especially as it relates to pregnancy and birth control.

Kq - if you still prefer to avoid hormonal birth control options, you might want to take a look at the IUDs in the future - they have a relatively high start-up cost, but they're the most effective form of reversable birth control on the market, the copper version lasts for over ten years (altho you can easily remove it with one quick visit to the doctor), and they work best for women who are married or in long-term committed relationships and have already had at least one child.
 
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
 
Hmmm. I still disagree. Picking the one test that might statistically be the most common and saying that she's probably fine if that one test is negative so go right ahead and take birth control is not the way I'd handle it.

Checking the relatives with the clotting history would be far less chancy if you really, really want to know what's going on in the family gene pool.

I'm not recommending this for kq's family though. I am just sort of thinking out loud.
 
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
I personally had my first of many pulmonary emboli (blood clots in the lungs) after taking birth control pills. My problem wasn't diagonosed until years later as an antiphospholipid antibody problem. And it wasn't until years later that I was diagnosed with SLE (Lupus), which was responsible for the antiphospholipid thing, and the clots. I stay away from birth control pills, they can kill me, even though I don't have that Factor V thing.
 
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 
Have you read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"? It helped, er.... somewhat on the spacing.
 
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 
Oh, and having tried both a cervical cap is much more comfortable than a diaphragm.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
quote:
Kq - if you still prefer to avoid hormonal birth control options, you might want to take a look at the IUDs in the future - they have a relatively high start-up cost, but they're the most effective form of reversable birth control on the market, the copper version lasts for over ten years (altho you can easily remove it with one quick visit to the doctor), and they work best for women who are married or in long-term committed relationships and have already had at least one child.
I tend to follow my mother's pattern on many reproductive issues, and she had severe cramping and bleeding with an IUD, which is not something I'm willing to risk any more than a stroke is. >_< Ask quid about why, she understands.

romany, I'll check out that book. Thanks for the recommendation.
 
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
No hurry, hon, you've got months and months before you need to worry about birth control!

I liked "What to Expect When You're Expecting" -- that's one book worth buying instead of borrowing from the library -- unless they'll let you keep renewing it month after month.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I had three copies given to me the first time I was pregnant. [Smile] I sent one to a Hatracker who got pregnant unexpectedly, but I still have two.
 
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
Well, I'm pretty sure that all you need is one -- it is not like you'll need a new one for each pregnancy.
 
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
 
kq, IUDs have changed a LOT in the past 10-20 years. Many different types available. Ask your mom what kind hers was.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Hmmm. I can ask her if she remembers, although she may not, since she had a hysterectomy after my brother and he's now 19. [Wink]
 
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
I was just drifting back through memory lane, on page 3 of the forum, and came across this delightful tidbit:
quote:
originally posted by ketchupqueen
posted September 22, 2005 05:43 PM

I'm eating chili straight out of the can. Just a spoonful while my bowl heats.

I seem to get over the nausea and get ravenous in the afternoon lately.

(I am so not pregnant!)


 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I really thought it was just a tummy bug. [Frown]
 
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
 
Your strident, repeated denials made me think you suspected more. [Wink]
 
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
My ob/gyn actually gave me a bunch of info on IUDs the last time I visited (my body is really touchy when it comes to any sort of medication, so finding the right BC pill, patch, or one ring has been...interesting). And yes, they're much, much different.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Okay, imogen. Maybe I really hoped it was a tummy bug.
 
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
 
ketchupqueen, I'll be praying for your family. Good luck finding the health care you need, and I hope that this baby brings you joy.

Is there anything we can do to help you out? I see that the google masters have come up with some resources already. Do you have all the baby paraphernalia (clothes, bottles, etc) that you need?
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
We didn't tell anyone that Ems was a girl before she was born, so we have plenty of gender-neutral clothes through size 6 months or so. If it's a girl, of course we have oodles of girl clothes, too. We've got blankets galore, a bassinet and sheets, even our crib sheets are gender-neutral (we're planning on moving Emma to a crib mattress on the floor before the baby is born-- she'll be two-- and buying another mattress, so our total bedding cost will be about $60. We'll have room to sleep two in her room if we move a few pieces of furniture and such and store the mattress she sleeps on like a trundle under the crib during the day. We were planning on transitioning her to a mattress on the floor when she outgrows her crib, anyway, for safety reasons. If she's not ready to give up the crib, then the baby can sleep in the portacrib for a while when s/he outgrows the bassinet.) We've got bottles and sippy cups galore, although I breastfeed and can't pump-- mastitis every time I tried-- so for the first few months the only time a bottle got given was when we went to the movies and dinner on a date night or something. We have books, toys, a tummy-time play mat with attached toys for before baby can prop him/herself up, and even a Emma-sized rocking chair so she can rock her Baby while I rock mine. [Smile] Our families and friends were incredibly generous and pretty much set us up for a lifetime of babies when she was born! I guess that it's better to have the second baby be a surprise than the first, huh? [Smile]

(But I'm glad I didn't box and seal up all those maternity and nursing clothes I just put away!)
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Oh, by the way, have I mentioned that my husband is wonderful?

If he has doubts, he doesn't show them. He admits to a little fear and anxiety, but expresses his faith that it will be okay, and that I can handle it. He's willing to talk or not talk about it as I need to, and he tries to cheer me up and reassure me besides.

Tonight he made cookies because the cookie jar was empty-- and brought me a special, heart-shaped one straight from the oven as a surprise. [Kiss]
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Awwwww. You're very lucky, kq.
 
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
[QUOTE]I tend to follow my mother's pattern on many reproductive issues, and she had severe cramping and bleeding with an IUD, which is not something I'm willing to risk any more than a stroke is. >_< Ask quid about why, she understands.

Uh, yep. I missed church yesterday, and Fahim had to help me up and down stairs, and that was AFTER I took ketchupqueen's miracle drugs, which actually did help significantly. (Thanks, again, kq!) I'm finally better this evening. Yay!

Congrats, kq. I'm happy for you, and I can imagine the emotional turmoil. Good luck and take care.
 
Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by romanylass:
Have you read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"? It helped, er.... somewhat on the spacing.

It looks like that book covers the Billings Ovulation Method, which you can read about online. Regardless of what you choose to use as your birth control method, the information on that site is extremely valuable. It will give you the ability to recognize when you are fertile, including the return to fertility after breastfeeding.

Please don't be put off by the fact that it is approved by the Catholic Church (I don't know if you would be or not). There is a lot of good information there.

Oh, and congratulations. Even though things are difficult right now, I'm sure you'll find that it is worth it in the end.

--Mel
 
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
I have a question...and just to make sure there isn't any possible confusion, JenniK is NOT pregnant... [Wink] ...


Have any of the medical people here at Hatrack heard anything about the effectiveness of this Billings Method?

I know, of course, that the best birth control is to abstain, and barring that the modern methods of birth control, when used properly, are extremely effective. This is more a general question because from what I remember these "natural" methods have never been particularly effective in preventing pregnancy. I was wondering if any of them were more effective than the others.

I was raised RC, but am not now, so using regular birth control doesn't bother me at all, I was just curious.


Also, from a religious background, why would this be any less a refusal of God's will then a condom? I wonder why, honestly, I am not trolling of trying to stir up trouble.

As a matter of fact, if you would rather I move these questions into a new thread about these topics I can and will...I didn't mean to further hijack this topic. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
women with strong fertility signs can use natural methods with a great deal of success... in 12 years, 4 out of 5 of our kids were absolutely planned-- as in we decided, specifcally, "it's time to get pregnant again" and specifcally stopped abstaining on fertile days. It wasn't merely a matter of saying "we wanted this one" when we got pregnant again.

Not every woman has strong fertility signals, but we never had to take daily temperatures or anything heavily involved.

On the religious side of NFP, it's a little more philosophical and I may attack that later in a longer post.
 
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
Even if you use other contraceptives, the knowledge gleaned from studying the Ovulation Method and NFP can help you better read your own body to know when you are MOST fertile, and avoid those days if you choose. Instead of relying only on contraceptives. Increase your odds, so to speak, of avoiding pregnancy.

I know there are lots of naysayers about NFP, but I studied their program, and it helped me be a lot more in tune with my own body's signals, (which has helped me now that I'm in peri-menopause) even though if I were married I would use other contraceptives besides just ovulation method.

FG
 
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
When followed to the letter, I've heard that NFP does work. But it takes time and dedication.
 
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
 
*huge hug*

Dear, it will be okay. I had insurance changes while I was pregnant with Robert, too. It's scary, I guess, but letting yourself feel scared is counter-productive. "The Lord will provide" they say. It's a cliche for a reason, I think. [Wink]
 
Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
 
They have done several studies on the Billings Method. I believe most of these were done in areas where other forms of birth control were not readily available. According to this page, it is over 99% effective in preventing pregnancy, based on trials.

This page lists the terminology of the studies and where they have been done.

Here is the study that was done in China. The table comparing it to IUDs is particularly interesting (Section 4, Table 2)

Even if you don't plan to use this as the only bc method, it is extremely valuable knowledge to have.

--Mel
 
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
 
Congratulations on this unexpected blessing, kq! I can understand how the idea will take some getting used to - when Andrew and I resume, um, relations, he will be using protection, even thought the likelihood of my getting pregnant is about a million to one.

I don't know the insurance laws in California, but here in Virginia, insurers will not issue a new policy to a pregnant woman. I found this out when I tried to switch companies when we moved back to Richmond. If that is also the case in California, maybe it could help you qualify for Medicaid (or is it Medical there?)?

Also, from what I can tell, WIC is a good resource for pregnant women.

http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/
 
Posted by Kettricken (Member # 8436) on :
 
Congratulations even if the finances are scary. I can’t offer any useful advice about health costs, but it makes me angry when medical care is treated as something only for those that can afford it.

Relax and look after yourself, try not to worry too much.
 
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 
Kwea, I used NFP in addition to barrier methods. (Can't use hormones, my body goes NUTS). It was good knowledge- I could decide to use an extra method ( say, cap and condom) or just say "I am too freaking fertile right now, we're absatining for a few days". I'd never have used it as a stand alone method.

I think every woman needs that kind of "body knowledge".

That said, I got pregnant while using NFP, cap, condom and extra spemicide.
 
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by romanylass:
I got pregnant while using NFP, cap, condom and extra spemicide.

You see, G'd has his own plans!
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Oh.

Um, I've read about the Billings method before. Unfortunately, I have three problems: 1) my signs aren't that strong and get confused easily, 2) I'm not very organized and sometimes mix up my chart-keeping when I'm trying to keep track, and 3) It's quite possible that I sometimes ovulate twice in a month, sometimes once.

Not that I haven't tried it.
 
Posted by Mama Squirrel (Member # 4155) on :
 
I live in CA. One of our employees was pregnant when we switched insurance providers. Not only was her pregnancy covered but she could stay with the same doctor even though he wasn't a doctor on the new plan. Whether this is CA law or just a cool insurance company I don't know.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
The problem is when you haven't been previously insured. We had this happen before-- if it's pre-existing, they just won't cover it.
 
Posted by Mama Squirrel (Member # 4155) on :
 
Do you know who the insurace provider will be when kpc gets insurance? Has he checked with them on this issue? His employer may be able to look into it for you. When will he be eligible for the insurance and how far along will you be? What did PP give you as a due date? I know you said that you don't think it is right (by a month, at least).

There are still days I question why we are doing this again even though it was planned.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
He won't be eligible for insurance for another two months. The due date they gave me based on date of last period is April 13. ( >_< ) But I think I skipped the first period due to stress, which I have been known to do, because I didn't start feeling symptoms until just now-- a week or so after my second missed period, which would be just about right. The date they gave me would put me almost 12 weeks along, and I neither look nor feel it. His provider will be Blue Cross, but I will probably be going with a different plan that provides better emergency and maternity coverage.
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
I had to switch insurance plans in the middle of a pregnancy twice. [Razz] It's a pain, but as kq said, if you're covered to begin with it's not that big a deal.

I don't know what the Blue Cross plan covers, but their PPO is very good, IME.
 
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
 
Each woman is so different. We can plan the sex of our children becuase my fertility signs are that clear, but some women either don't know or don't care to know (I have a sister who doesn't even keep track of when her periods start). We did have one baby who wasn't the sex we planned, but when we got the ultrasound it became apparent that the child was conceived a week or so after we were trying.

But I am very aware that just because we can do that doesn't mean everyone can.

I asked Dagonee about the condom thing one time, and he said that using a condom is a sin of commission while abstaining during fertility is more like a sin of omission. I don't remember what he said exactly, but that is how it went.

If you're Catholic and you don't have sex with your spouse with the intent of not getting pregnant, do you confess that? How frustrating would that be for the poor confessor?
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Jeff will be on the "budget" PPO. That's just not going to cut it for me-- the deductible is too high.
 
Posted by Sopwith (Member # 4640) on :
 
Congratulations!

No matter what, might as well enjoy it. Let the insurance and the bills work themselves out.
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Congratulations, KQ!
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I'm really starting to get excited about having another baby.

Now I just hope I don't miscarry again. Or find out it's ectopic or something.

I really need to find a way to get to a doctor.
 
Posted by Boon (Member # 4646) on :
 
Come here for a visit and I'll take you to mine. She's teh awesome!

Oh, wait. If you could afford a visit, you could prolly see your own doctor. Nuts!
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
quote:
quote:Originally posted by romanylass:
Have you read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"? It helped, er.... somewhat on the spacing.

It looks like that book covers the Billings Ovulation Method, which you can read about online.

Actually "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" covers the "Fertility Awareness Method" which while quite similar to the Billings method has some differences. The major difference is that Fertility awareness uses temperature readings and Billings does not.

While taking daily temps is sometimes off putting for people (I don't know why when the same people are as willing to take a pill daily often with nasty side effects), I firmly believe that it makes using natural birth control much more effective. This is especially true for women who have more ambiguous fertility symptoms or have... other cycle confusing issues like lactation, perimenopause, or stress delayed ovulation.

By the way, my mom was involved in university research into NFP in the sixties and was an NFP instructor for many years. She planned her children quite effectively using only NFP. I was taught the principles of fertility awareness at puberty and I think it's HUGELY useful information to have about one's own body regardless of whether you're using it for birth control or not. There are sadly still a lot of misconceptions among adult women about their cycles, etc.
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
I'm so glad you're starting to get excited about this, kq. We're excited for you too! [Big Grin]

Sorry to hijack your thread with all that birth control stuff.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
The temp readings were part of what I did. I got the same exact temperature every day for three months.

Yeah.
 
Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
 
The Billings people have done studies which found that the temperature readings were not as accurate as the mucus indicators. Before this they used to teach the temperature indicators as well, but when they found that they were not as reliable they stopped.

But, Miriya, I absolutely agree with you about the importance of the knowledge, regardless of the use to which it is put. When I first started learning about NFP (only a few months ago), I was quite angry that I had never learned about it anywhere else. What happened to the idea that people need all of the available information in order to make good choices?

I plan to teach this to my daughter when she is old enough. I think it will make puberty much easier for her than it was for me, because she will know what is going on and be able to predict her cycles.

--Mel
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
That's odd. What kind of thermometer were you using? You need fine graduations to do NFP. Also digital thermometers can be flaky for some women who have very slight variations. I recommend using an old fashioned glass one.
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
quote:
The Billings people have done studies which found that the temperature readings were not as accurate as the mucus indicators. Before this they used to teach the temperature indicators as well, but when they found that they were not as reliable they stopped.
I'm not sure which studies you are referring. I've seen several that reflect the fact that when used ALONE temperatures are quite ineffective for birth control. This makes sense because temps can only tell you that you have ALREADY ovulated and are not useful for most women as a predictor of ovulation.

The cervical fluid indicators (i hate the term mucus, it's not an unhealthy thing) are absolutely essential. If you're only using one thing that's the way to go. I do find though that for people who are uncertain, the temps help them feel confident, and for people who have atypical cycles it can be a lifesaver.

For instance in a lactating woman the body often gets ready to ovulate repeatedly but doesn't quite reach the necessary estrogen peak. With fluid only you will not be sure if you DID in fact ovulate or only sort of try to. The can lead to method failure.
 
Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
 
Oh, I understand you now. I can see how using the temperature indicators to confirm would be useful. Let me go find the page that talked about the studies, so that you can read it for yourself.

--Mel
 
Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
 
Here is the page that discusses the different indicators of fertility, and their effectiveness.

--Mel
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
quote:
That's odd. What kind of thermometer were you using? You need fine graduations to do NFP. Also digital thermometers can be flaky for some women who have very slight variations. I recommend using an old fashioned glass one.
That's what I was using.
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
Kq: I don't think I've ever encountered that before. Thermal shift aside, having the exact same temperature every single day for three months down to 1/10th of a degree just seems odd. That shouldn't happen even if you have an occasional drink (okay LDS don't drink), sleep in, get sick. etc. *shrug* I'd have to discuss in more detail to figure that out.

theCrowsWife: That's an interesting link. The way they are refering to use of temps is not quite like I do (which is the method in the "TCOYF" book). It sounds like they expect people who use temps to do some sort of rhythm method calculations and apply them to their fluid symptoms. I've never heard of such a thing! [Dont Know]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
It's quite possible I had a bad thermometer. Or did it wrong. Or something. *shrug*

Just for the record, when I am not ill, my oral temperature is always the same, as well. I haven't had a deviation in four years now. (Lower than most people's, but when I take it, always the same.)
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
Maybe you just need finer graduation? I take my temps in Celcius so I go to two decimal places (for example my temp now might be 37.25 C) and I do get variation. I believe in Farenheit it's usually only necessary to go to one decimal place but hey .. there's an exception to every rule [Wink]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Quite possible I need finer graduation. [Smile]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I was just reading the instructions on how to fill out the form for that low-cost insurance for pregnant women who don't qualify for MediCal. Now, I'm not sure if this is how MediCal calculates family size, but that form says to count a pregnant woman as 2 people, which would bump our family size up to 4, and put us under 200% of the federal poverty level-- the line for MediCal for pregnant women. I'm going in on Wed. to the Social Services office to apply, just in case I do qualify, and this makes it look a little more hopeful. *crosses fingers*
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Good luck!
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Been talking to my mom and according to her, I'm still on her insurance. She works for Kaiser, and gets coverage for her kids until they're 25 or married. She just never told them I moved away and got married and still has me under her address and policy. If she calls and says, "Gee, I "forgot" to tell you that my daughter got married and moved away; is there any way she can pay and continute coverage?" they may allow me to pay immediately and continue coverage as a professional courtesy. I'm not sure how much it would be, I'm not sure what would be covered (although Kaiser tends to be pretty good), and I'm not sure that I feel good about my mom being dishonest on my behalf. (She never took me off becuase according to her co-workers, it's much harder to get coverage back if you take someone off, and she was hedging her-- well, my-- bets in case something like this ever happened.)
 
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 
I'm glad you have a couple of avenues opening up for coverage.
 
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
I don't know how far professional courtesy stretches with Kaiser but my experience would lead me to believe they will say no.

Maybe I'll be wrong (I hope so!) but I don't see any insurance company taking on the extra liability involved with covering someone they don't have to. And, they will consider the day you got married as the day you were no longer eligible for coverage, so it won't be as if you have had coverage up til now - there will still be a coverage gap.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Belle, she's personal friends with these people. She's worked for the company 15 years. They may just give her a little leeway.
 
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
But if she has to lie, then doesn't that open her up to possibly being charged with insurance fraud?

She may have worked personally with some people every day, but that doesn't prevent someone in the fraud division from reacting if they see something fishy come across the desk. Kaiser is a HUGE company, she can't possibly know everyone that might potentially be involved in this.

I guess I'm just a coward, but I wouldn't do it, personally. The risks are too high, even if you save some money what will it be worth if there's legal trouble?
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
This was her idea, not mine. As I said, I feel uncomfortable about it. But I really doubt they'd do that.
 
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
Absolutely don't lie about it, but it wouldn't hurt to ask -- "My daughter got married and I didn't change her insurance right away, could she begin paying for coverage now?"
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
That's something like what she would plan to say.
 
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
 
I have an OB/gyn friend from medschool who works for Kaiser. I doubt she knows anything about how it works. She's out of town for her grandma's funeral now.

I suppose it would be bad to turn to this new job insurance (in two months) and suggested this wasn't a preexisting condition because you had Kaiser? Only more like, imply it somehow. I suppose that wouldn't work. They'd want documentation. Anyway, think about options in that direction too.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Jeff just called the LA county Dept. of Health and Human Services, and a pregnant woman does indeed count as two. Therefore, I will qualify for MediCal. *huge sigh of relief*
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
That's *wonderful* kq. It must be a huge weight off your mind! [Smile]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Yes, it is. [Smile]
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Yay! And MediCal coverage is pretty good, I hear. [Smile]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
You usually don't have to pay for anything that is medically necessary. (Meaning, if you want a private room, you pay for it, but otherwise, you don't have to.)
 
Posted by unicornwhisperer (Member # 294) on :
 
Congratulations kq!
[The Wave]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Now that I'm not so anxious, I'm starting to really be excited. I wasn't expecting this, but I guess that doesn't mean it can't be a nice surprise. [Smile]
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
Hey kq... will your two be two years or less apart? I have a double stroller I don't need and I know from experience that they're handy with that age difference.

Hmmm. I've never tried to ship anything like that, would it be worth the effort?
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
They'll be about two years exactly apart. I don't know where you are, but give me an e-mail and we'll talk. [Smile]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
(Looking at shipping rates on ebay, it seems to tend somewhere around $50 for a double stroller, although some types are less. We'd definitely be willing to pay that kind of shipping if you don't mind packing it up...)
 
Posted by Miriya (Member # 7822) on :
 
I'll e-mail you later this evening kq. I'd be happy to send it off to you if it's helpful.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Wonderful! Thank you!
 
Posted by divaesefani (Member # 3763) on :
 
Congrats on the medical, kq! Being "2 people" made a difference for me to qualify for medicaid as well.

I'm glad you can be happy about the pregnancy now!
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
I think the shock wearing off helped, too. Thank you. [Smile]
 


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