No, I screamed like the slasher movie slut when she first meets the chainsaw wielding welcome wagon.
Let me explain.
I have a few idiosyncracies.
First, I am follicaly impaired. In other words, I am taller than my hair. I have an over aggresive forehead, heck its set up satelitte hairless dictatorships all over my cranium.
When ones natural cranial sun block is removed, one must remember to limit the exposure to ultraviolet light.
After all, only an idiot would let there head get sunburned.
Yesterday was a beautiful day. It was cool and not a cloud in the sky. It was so cool that, during my son's field trip to an apple orchard, which I was chaperoning, I did not consider the amount of sun I was getting, especially on my hatless head.
Another idiosyncracy of mine is that I suffer from heat exhaustion. Since an odd adventure of mine at the age of 8, if I get too much heat or sun I get exhausted quickly. Such exhaustion hit me last night. I came home and was asleep by 7pm.
I awoke this morning at 7am. Still a bit drained for yesterday's adventure I headed for the shower to get cleaned up.
Another idiosyncracy of mine is that I like my showers very hot. They make me feel more alive if my skin turns a bit pink.
I had yet to notice that my face, and the bits of visible skin shining through my thining hair were already bright pink.
I have come to the conclusion that if one has too many idiosyncracies, one becomes an idiot.
The shower was not bad, though my brain did begin registering that not all was right with my head, when out of habit I stuck my head directly underneat the showerhead to prepare my little hair for washing.
That was when I screamed.
Sharp pounding daggers of water beat upon my innocent irradiated head like viscious sledge hammers tapping out Wagners greatest hits in Pain major.
Well, maybe a real man wouldn't have screamed at this moment. Maybe John Wayne or Bruce Willis or Mal wouldn't have screamed in agony like a three year old who has dropped their ice cream, but I had a good reason.
See, my first instinctual reaction, besides screaming and removing my head from the torture device, was to sooth my head by rubbing my hands over the battered area.
Both of my hands.
Including the hand already full of Suave shampoo. As that shampoo hit my scalp and began lathering up, I realized that I needed to rid my hair of that foam. And the only way to do that was to stick my head back under the pelting shards of water, that were then gently carressing my back.
That was when I started to cry.
But I'm feeling much better now.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Um, glad you're feeling better.
<--keep your hat on!
Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Um, glad you're feeling better.
<--keep your hat on!
In the shower? It will probably get quite wet.
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
Aww, poor baby. I love that you mentioned Mal in such great company, but I think he might have screamed, too.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by ricree101:
quote:keep your hat on!
In the shower? It will probably get quite wet.
A rain hat?
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I do own a broc-a-brella.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
And I'm sure that it is very stylish.
And kudos to you on balding with dignity. There is something very attractive about a man who shows his scalp proudly.
I hate that desperate clinging to a few pathetic wisps come-over look.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I also would have screamed.
I can also commiserate. Not about a lack of hair, but about having a sunburned scalp ahd having to wash said scalp.
>_<
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
quote:Originally posted by Olivet: Aww, poor baby. I love that you mentioned Mal in such great company, but I think he might have screamed, too.
Part of what we love about Mal is that we know that he would.
--j_k
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Dan, only you could write about showering with a sunburn so eloquently.
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
I love to peel people after a sunburn. Am I weird? Dan, come on over when it starts peeling and let me be a monkey! Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Do you eat it?
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
quote:I love to peel people after a sunburn. Am I weird? Dan, come on over when it starts peeling and let me be a monkey!
Do you have the uncontrollable urge to decorate everything you have in gold? Do you love gold, inordinately? I'd say we could help you, but we've all run away now.
Poor Dan. I sympathize. Aloe Vera is your friend.
Posted by BunnV (Member # 6816) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dan_raven: shards of water
I like that description!
Sorry you got burned.
Feel better soon!
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
I'm sorry, but I'm giggling hysterically at this story.
I'll second the call for aloe very and cybersmack you for forgetting your hat...
Posted by Rico (Member # 7533) on :
Reminds me of the time I was helping my uncle and somehow got gasoline stuck on my hair. When I went in to take a hot shower after the day was over I gained an unpleasant and unwelcome bit of knowledge. Getting gasoline in your ears or eyes HURTS!
Needless to say, a lot of soap, swearing and yelling in general followed suit and to this day whenever I get anything weird on my hair I make sure to wash my hair BEFORE I step into the shower
Good to know I'm not the only one out there doing stupid things Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
(((Dan_Raven's scalp)))
You'll heal, I'm sure.
Posted by Nell Gwyn (Member # 8291) on :
*attempts to giggle and make sympathetic noises at the same time*
*fails, and settles for giggling first, then cringing*
Out of curiosity, did anyone in the family hear your scream and come running to rescue you?
And yes, that was a wonderfully told story.
*hands Dan some aloe lotion*
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
ewwwww. No I don't eat it! Gross! Where's the puke graemlin?
And no I hate gold. Silver though...
Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
On a similar (though not as painful) line, I often take my daughter for long walks in her stroller, and as such, I once managed to get a significant sunburn on the backs of my hands that I didn't notice until I bathed later. Ouch. Who thinks to put sunblock on the backs of their hands?!
Posted by Gryphonesse (Member # 6651) on :
being white to the point of transparency, I can empathise. I also dropped IQ points this weekend, parading around the Texas Ren Fest in my gypsy getup, which was topped with a halter. My shoulders are so bad that other people wince when they see the angry purple. The tops of my boobs are burnt. THAT HURTS. Wearing a bra? hah. You are not alone, dear friend.
Posted by pfresh85 (Member # 8085) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sterling: On a similar (though not as painful) line, I often take my daughter for long walks in her stroller, and as such, I once managed to get a significant sunburn on the backs of my hands that I didn't notice until I bathed later. Ouch. Who thinks to put sunblock on the backs of their hands?!
I did something similar when I was younger. We went to the beach, and I made sure to douse myself in sunscreen (because I'm super pale and can only burn). I forgot the backs of hands though. Man, those things got burnt really bad, and I felt it almost immediately after we left the beach. That was probably one of the worst sunburns I've ever gotten.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I'm sorry you had to have that horrible shower experience and I hope your scalp heals quickly. I loved reading you tell about it though!
I sometimes tease my dad about wearing hats all the time. He, like you, has an agressive forehead, so I can understand the need for a hat. However, I fail to see the need when it is dark out or he is indoors. I was very proud of him when he resisted the temptation to try to hide his shiny pate and started buzzing all his hair so it's about half an inch long. No long, pathetic comb-over attempts here!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Thanks for all the sympathy folks. I'm feeling much better now. I shall try to dazzle your minds with some more bits of wordiness as the day progresses.
Posted by pfresh85 (Member # 8085) on :
Oh, you know what else is fun? Getting a sunburn over nearly your entire body because you weren't smart enough to put sunscreen on. I gained the nickname LobsterBoy that day. I have pictures if anyone wants to see, but they aren't pleasant.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Great write-up, Dan! Very funny. Sorry for the subject matter, though.
![[Hat]](graemlins/hat.gif)
<--keep your hat on! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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