and, not to be homophobic, are you generally cool, if you're a male, to get a massage by another male, or if you're a female, a massage by another female?
Posted by pfresh85 (Member # 8085) on :
Like professionally? No. I've been given an unprofessional massage though. At a little weekend long competition thing at NASA, we had to stay up all night working on stuff and running to and fro. We were all tired and sore. So a group of us had a long massage chain going on (you massaged the shoulders of the person in front of you). In that instance, I had both a girl and a guy massage my shoulders (since one of them stepped out and the other stepped in). It didn't bother me since none of this was sexual in nature.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Lurker-Girl gives massages that are teh awesome.
We miss her terribly.
And I think my husband was actually more squicky about undressing for her than I was, although she is of course very professional and respects her clients' modesty assiduously.
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
We had a circle like that going with a whole high school speech class, the only one that made me uncomfortable at all was the teacher, I'm sure jt stryker would verify that one for you.
Posted by KPhysicsGeek (Member # 8655) on :
I have had two proffesional massages, both of them after long races (a 25K and a Marathon). One was by a female and the other a male, though the gender really didn't matter since the only thoughts going through my head were "OUCH!.... oh that's better... sigh.... OUCH! ....oh that's better.... sigh..."
I would guess that if the massage was for a non-sexual purpose, it wouldn't matter who was giving it. If it was sexual, I would be uncomfortable if the person giving it was someone I was not attracted to.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
For our honeymoon we had the options of going somewhere really cool and having no money to spend there, or staying at the nicest place we could find locally and enjoying fat cat amenities. We went with the second, which included professional massages.
No problems receiving (or giving) to either gender.
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
I had weeks of therapeutic massage after getting hit by a car. It was by a woman, but it was one of the most painful experiences of my life and could not have been remotely sexual even if I'd desperately wanted it to be. So no, I would have had no problem receiving one from a man.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I've had a professional massage, although I didn't have to pay for it--the MT volunteered to do it for me. I can't say I really enjoyed it a whole lot. The massage itself was on the painful side, and the massage oil that she used irritated my skin. The after effect of the massage wasn't bad, but wasn't worth the rest of it for me. The MT happened to be a woman, but her gender was pretty irrelevant to the experience. I wouldn't have felt any different about the experience had she been a man.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
A couple years ago for our anniversary, my husband and I had a gift certificate to a snazzy resort/spa in town. We decided to go get hour long, full body Sweedish massages. I loved it! Both our MTs were women. When I called to schedule, they of course asked if we had gender preferences for our MTs. We didn't, but they said that most men were more comfortable with females.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Noemon, that's a horrible experience. I'm sorry.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
My partner used to have her own massage therapy business. I've had massages for various things, and I can't imagine getting a massage from a guy. It'd feel really weird.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Yeah ketchupqueen, it wasn't much fun. I enjoyed having my back or shoulders rubbed, so I sort of wonder if it's possible that the MT just wasn't all that good. Or maybe she just specialized in a style of massage that doesn't work for me or something. I'd be willing to give a professional massage another shot.
Posted by Nell Gwyn (Member # 8291) on :
I had a professional massage in Las Vegas, at the Paris spa. I believe it was an aromatherapy Swedish massage (or maybe deep-tissue?), and it was very relaxing. It wasn't really painful at the time, but my shoulders especially were rather tender for a day or so afterwards.
I was in Vegas with two other girls. We all got massages, but I was the only one whose masseuse ended up being male. I think the other two were relieved that theirs were female - I had no strong feelings either way, but I did feel a bit self-conscious. There was a fair amount of bravado on my part.
Actually, the really memorable thing about it was finding out that my masseuse was Mormon and had gone to the Philippines on his mission, which is where a lot of my family is from, so that was a kind of odd coincidence. He was also the first practicing Mormon I'd ever met (and AFAIK the only one I've met in person thus far). At the time I knew next to nothing about LDS practices, and I didn't realize that going on missions is really pretty common and not just for the super-duper-holy, so altogether it seemed a very strange juxtaposition.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
You should go see Lurker-Girl, Noemon. She has the healing touch. And she uses hypo-allergenic massage gel-- even I didn't react and I'm sensitive to everything-- I'm even allergic to rubbing alcohol. Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Hypo-allergenic massage oil would definitely be a plus. If I should ever happen to meet Lurker-Girl, and she should be willing, I'll happily accept a massage from her.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Now all you have to do is convince her to come to a con near you and bring her gear. That or convince them to hold another DallasCon and attend it.
She likes chocolate.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
She would have enjoyed Noemonicon then. There is still leftover chocolate from that, and it was several weeks ago (by the way Sara, I don't know if I've mentioned it elsewhere or not, but Vosges dark chocolate with wasabi, ginger, and black sesame seeds is officially the best bar I've ever had, period).
I wish that I had the leavetime to go to a gathering in Dallas. I've got an old friend in Houston and a brother in Austin, so it'd be fun to spend a couple of weeks traversing the state visiting people. Unfortunately I'm having to save up for my brother's wedding next August, so I'm not going to be able to do a lot of travelling in the meantime. Not that you were seriously suggesting the DallasCon thing, but it sounds like all sorts of fun, hypo-allergenic massages or not.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
I've had professional massages and loved them. They've always been by a man, just the way it worked out, but I wouldn't have a problem with a woman giving me a massage. It's not a sexual experience...it's just a wonderful, sometimes painful, luxury that I take advantage to have whenever I can. I carry a lot of tension in my shoulders, and while it hurts to get massaged out, it feels so good afterward.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
quote:(by the way Sara, I don't know if I've mentioned it elsewhere or not, but Vosges dark chocolate with wasabi, ginger, and black sesame seeds is officially the best bar I've ever had, period).
I will send you some more, then.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Wow, Sara, that's so nice! Thank you!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Just sent a message to the address listed in your profile Sara, just FYI.
Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
It is homophobic to feel that way, but most men (including myself) have felt it. It's a mild case of it that can be fixed
My massage therapist I see him (2-3 times a year) is awesome. I had a massage by a woman at the same practice, and it wasn't so good.
Interestingly, she was back up in this area from Texas (where her husband still was, doing his job) because she felt people took massage much more seriously up here in the northeast. She said that there was a lot of pressure in Texas (she was in the Houston or Dallas area, I believe) for women massueses to provide "sexual massage". She hadn't felt that here ever (she was originally from the area).
-Bok
Posted by Princess Leah (Member # 6026) on :
I don't think it's necessarily homophobic to not want a massage by the same sex. I've never had one, but if I did I'd want a straight man, because (and this is just my experience) women will judge another woman's body a lot more harshly than a straight guy who's trying to conceal his inner "oooh, breasts!"
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
But a really professional MT of either gender and any orientation will only give you the healing vibe-- never a thought that they are judging your body at all. Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
I've never had a professional massage that I've paid for, but I did have a friend who was an awesome massage therapist. If I slept over at his house, I would wake him up at ridiculous hours and ask for massages.
I've gotten backrubs from/given backrubs to female friends before, and it's never bothered me either way. The only reason I prefer massages by men is that their hands are generally stronger. Girls are so wimpy about it.
-pH
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
Lurker-Girl has strong enough technique to go too deep on *me*, which takes some doing. I would definitely not characterize her massages as "wimpy", though she is quite small, herself.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
Lurker-Girl appears to be having trouble with her account but has asked me to post the following for her:
quote:It's all in the body mechanics.
KQ, thanks for the kind words, as always. I miss y'all too--I haven't been on hatrack in awhile, but a little bird told me my name came up.
And if gasoline weren't so dang expensive I'd drive around giving massages to hatrackers in exchange for chocolate.
I move that future cons/shindas/and other gatherings take up a collection to bring Lurker-Girl in for Massage/Chocolate exchanges
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Heck, I'm considering flying her out here for our next shinda!
And she's got a wonderful sense of humor and is lots of fun, not just good for her massages. Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
Never had a massage. I ought to have had one, but my damn parents wouldn't do a think no matter how my back felt. "We didn't know", said they. Bullshit.
Nope, never had one. I won't ever have one at this rate.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
JH, when you grow up you can get all the massages you need. Posted by JaimeBenlevy (Member # 6222) on :
Never had a professional massage, but I'd love one. Coincidentally, just today the girl who sits behind me in Hebrew class gave me one because I was bored and asked nicely I think I might be a little bit uncomfortable if one of my male friends gave me one, but I might not care if it was a close friend who I know it wouldn't be awkward with.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I love massages. My mom gives great ones, and my ex's weren't bad. But the best are from professional masseuses like Lurker-Girl and my IRL friend.
I would be uncomfortable getting one from a guy (unless we were related). Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Now I really need a massage.
*looks up MTs that do pregnancy massage with the AMTA therapist locator*
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
If you wait till you have insurance and get a referral from your OB, it might be covered. (Almost certainly will be if you go to a PT or chiropractor.)
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
On Medi-Cal? *raises eyebrow* I doubt it.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I know what I want for Christmas, though. My mom was telling me someone gave her a gift certificate to the lady she uses, who has been practicing 10 years and has a Masters and is very good.
Posted by divaesefani (Member # 3763) on :
I've had so many massages that I can't even begin to count them. That's because I am a massage therapist. I've had and am trained in everything from swedish to russian sports massage, reflexology to cranial-sacral therapy. I really need a massage right now, actually, since I haven't had one since I gave birth.
kq, I know you're in CA, but are you close to LA? I have a classmate that specializes in prenatal massage. He's incredible. Let me know if you're near by, and I can give you his info.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: On Medi-Cal? *raises eyebrow* I doubt it.
Igive really good massages, just ask JenniK. Really, I do, I have given massages to friends who were studying MT at teh time and they said I was better at it than anyone in their class was, eevn untrained.
I audited a course on it once, but I didn't learn much from it, so I stopped going....they were way too basic.
I have had massages as well, both professionally and otherwise ( ), and I love them.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
rivka, it looks like massage is not covered under that definition. Plus, I'd probably have to drive 2 hours to see a chiropractor who accepts Medi-Cal. Plus, many of them won't work on pregnant women. *grumps*
Posted by divaesefani (Member # 3763) on :
I forgot to answer the gender question. It doesn't bother me one way or the other. My husband is bothered by me seeing a male, though. He's also bothered by him seeing a male. I have no problem with him or me seeing one or the other. He thinks that's weird.
I did have one weird experience last summer when a man came in for a massage and left when he found out I was a female. That ha never happened to me or any other therapist I know. Most males will only see females.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: rivka, it looks like massage is not covered under that definition. Plus, I'd probably have to drive 2 hours to see a chiropractor who accepts Medi-Cal. Plus, many of them won't work on pregnant women. *grumps*
As I said, it would probably have to be a PT or a chiropractor to be covered. No idea about whether there are any nearby. I think the one I went to accepted Medi-Cal, but it's been 6 years. And she was in Silverlake. Posted by divaesefani (Member # 3763) on :
My friend may do a sliding scale....I'm not sure. It's worth asking him about.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I know my friend does, and works on prego people, but she's right by my parents'. So rather a drive.
I'll ask if she knows anyone in your neck of the woods.
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
I have given and received massages to and from both men and women, but none of these massages have been professional. I did have a guy offer to pay me for backrubs on a regular basis. I did not take him up on it, only in part because that particular guy was a little creepy.
I definitely give more massages than I receive, and most of them are to women. I'd probably be more comfortable giving a man a massage than most men would be to receive a massage from me. Also, I'm more comfortable giving a guy (or a girl I'm not interested in) a massage than receiving one from same. I think that probably has to do with control, and would be a non-issue if it was a professional massage therapist.
--Enigmatic
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:And she was in Silverlake.
Now, that's not too bad from here-- only about 25 minutes with good traffic, 40 with terrible.
quote:I'll ask if she knows anyone in your neck of the woods.
That would be wonderful, thank you. Glendale, Pasadena, and Burbank are all very reasonable drives for us. And even if she knows anyone with very reasonable rates-- I'm not above paying for it if I need it that bad.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
quote:And she was in Silverlake.
Now, that's not too bad from here-- only about 25 minutes with good traffic, 40 with terrible.
Really?
<-- directionally impaired
Hmm. I'll see if I can find her info.
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
I've been getting professional massages for years. My advice would be to find a traditional asian massage place that does remedial, deep tissue and/or relaxation. I prefer deep tissue - if it ain't huring it ain't working!
It's never bothered me having either guys or girls going at it.
Posted by Nell Gwyn (Member # 8291) on :
quote:It's never bothered me having either guys or girls going at it.
You must have said this on purpose!
*goes off to find the "Out of Context thread*
Posted by divaesefani (Member # 3763) on :
Wow. Apparently a massage therapist's own recommendation means nothing.
Good luck finding someone. Aristide (my friend) would be worth it, if you'd just give him a chance. And if you told him that Steph from DV16 Recommended him, he may give you a deal. You never know.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
That sounds wonderful, but he's an hour or more (depending on traffic) away. That's a lot of stress to go get a massage.
Posted by Audeo (Member # 5130) on :
My brother went to college for massage therapy and they were perpetually in need of 'volunteers' to practice on. They persuaded me to come in once for a seated massage. The had about a dozen of these massage chairs set up in a circle, and I and the other volunteers sat down, and the masseurs rotated around the room every few minutes.
It was probably the tensest situation I'd ever been in. Strangers were standing behind me and touching me! There didn't seem to be any difference between the men and the women; members of either gender were just as likely to go too hard or soft. I endured it, but I was so tense for the next couple days, that I had to sleep on the floor to settle the muscles down. It could have been that they were beginners, or the rotating atmosphere, but I just couldn't relax, and never went back again. I certainly would never pay for a massage. If I did I would request something very shallow and soothing, more like a rub than a deep massage.
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It wasn't really painful at the time, but my shoulders especially were rather tender for a day or so afterwards.![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
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That's a lot of stress to go get a massage.