This isn't generally a problem. In fact, I've always appreciated the fact that I can go a day or two (or three) and still have less whisker growth than some of my more hirsute friends. It's convenient.
The problem is that, darnit, sometimes I want to grow a beard. Like now. A goatee, I think, maybe a Van Dyke. In the future, maybe a short full beard.
But I can't. The only facial hair that grows appreciably is my mustache and that bit on and around the chin, and even that is scraggly and thin enough that I don't bother growing it out because it looks stupid.
So, am I freak? What did people like me do in the days when beards were a social (or, if you prefer, "societal") requirement? Are there hormone treatments I can take to get a nice full beard going?
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
What is your age and race? Some races just don't grow much facial hair or any at all. Even if you are of a race that normally grows facial hair, it may just not be in your genes.
It would be nice if hormones could give me a better-proportioned female figure. Ain't gonna happen--not in the genes.
Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :
I'm 31 and white as they come.
I suppose I should be grateful that at least my genes haven't given me a better-proportioned female figure.
[fixed a typo]
Posted by Theaca (Member # 8325) on :
Hmm, beard growth seems more genetic than hormonal, perhaps. If you have normal pubic hair developement and your umm... testicles etc are of normal size and ... length, I doubt it is hormonally correctable. Do you know much about your dad, uncles, grandfathers bearding abililities?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Hey, it could be worse. KPC shaves in the morning and by 3 or 4 in the afternoon looks like he hasn't shaved in 2 days. It gets on me when we're at a formal event or something that lasts all day and he's looking like he didn't bother to shave!
You can always get a fake goatee. Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :
quote: If you have normal pubic hair developement and your umm... testicles etc are of normal size and ... length, I doubt it is hormonally correctable.
Without horrifying anyone with specifics, I can confirm that my pubic hair is normal and my testicles are, as far as I can tell, of normal size and length. My dad doesn't have a heavy beard (I think--he's always been clean-shaven), but he does have to shave every day. In fact, my living grandfather has always been clean-shaven, too, and my other died at 21. My uncles all seem to have fairly normal facial hair.
kq, it's true that not having to shave often is much more convenient, but I just...I feel like I'm missing out on something. I'm over 30, have my own place, pay my taxes--darn it, I deserve a beard!
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Googling "beard replacement" yielded this link for beard transplants.
Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :
quote:Googling "beard replacement" yielded this link for beard transplants.
Good heavens. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
I love men who don't have much facial/body hair. It's soft and sexy, not prickly and painful.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
My husband hasn't shaved AT ALL in the (almost) 19 years that we've been married.
Of course, he DOES have a prodigious beard.
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
Maybe he could donate to Dante? Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :
quote:I love men who don't have much facial/body hair. It's soft and sexy, not prickly and painful.
Thank you! Yup, that's me. I'm not a hairy guy. Next to no chest hair, either, though that doesn't really bother me.
You know, that reminds me...one of my best friends, a very, very blonde guy, served a mission in Japan. Not surprisingly, he got a lot of attention, and one time a guy actually came up and asked what color his, um, "body" hair was. My friend looked him in the eye and said, "Blue!"
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
quote: Hey, it could be worse. KPC shaves in the morning and by 3 or 4 in the afternoon looks like he hasn't shaved in 2 days.
I know how that goes. I get yelled at at work for not having shaved, but I shave in the morning! It grows back, not THAT thick, but very noticably by 7 or 8 at night.
I despise genetics. As soon as they find a way to make a pill that kills all body hair and grows large amounts of hair on my scalp, I will sell everything I own to obtain that pill. Until then I'm screwed.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
quote:You know, that reminds me...one of my best friends, a very, very blonde guy, served a mission in Japan. Not surprisingly, he got a lot of attention, and one time a guy actually came up and asked what color his, um, "body" hair was. My friend looked him in the eye and said, "Blue!"
I had a tiny Japanese guy come up to me in an elevator and exclaim, wide-eyed, that I must have huge penis.
I'm pretty sure he just wanted to borrow money.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Out of interest, WHY do you want a beard? You can achieve roughly the same effect by wearing either overalls or a beret, depending on the beard you want. (There are also beards which can be mimicked through the donning of pantaloons, but I've assumed here that you aren't considering one of those.)
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Bob
Really, with that techinque people are almost like ATMs. Works every time.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: Out of interest, WHY do you want a beard? You can achieve roughly the same effect by wearing either overalls or a beret, depending on the beard you want.
overalls ≈ scruffy beard and beret ≈ academic beard ?
There are other types of beards, you know.
Posted by Dav (Member # 8217) on :
As a programmer, I wish I could grow one of those computer nerd goatees. But alas, though I'm a european-ancestry male in my thirties, I missed out on the manly beard genes. I just get wimpy scruff which I have to clear off every several days.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
A nerd patch is not a "manly beard." Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Hey, I'd willingly trade my beard growing genes for a "lack of excessive body hair" gene.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
quote:My friend looked him in the eye and said, "Blue!"
quote: I had a tiny Japanese guy come up to me in an elevator and exclaim, wide-eyed, that I must have huge penis.
My father is a strawberry blond and can grow a full beard. However, he's got no hair on his chest and little hair on his legs and arms. He actually refuses to ever grow a full beard because he looks like Kris Kringle. Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
You people are so silly. Men come in different types because variety is fun! Hairy men and smooth men and in-between men are all cuddly in different ways, and you should love yourself the way you are, not wish it away.
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
Amen, sister! Hooray for men! Especially my cute husband. Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :
quote:Out of interest, WHY do you want a beard?
Well, as I said, I think I deserve one. I mean, physiologically, it's the norm.
But in addition to that, I just like change. If I've had my hair down to my shoulders for a few years, I go and get it cut short. I get bored. I like to experiment. That's the reason I could never get a tattoo--the idea of doing something irreversible to myself drives me crazy.
Plus, from a purely aesthetic standpoint, I think I'd look better with a beard.
Posted by EndofEternity (Member # 7466) on :
I am 17, male, and I have never shaved. I appear cleanshaven most likely because I am Asian.
Sometimes, there's just nothing you can do. But honestly, I enjoy the lack of maintenance required by my genes.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
It could be worse: the only facial hair I get (and it hasn't changed since I was in middle school, either) is the thin upper lip strip and the tiny patch under the lower lip. Plus, if I'm lucky, nine or ten rogue hairs on the chin. When people describe the Fu Manchu look, they're talking about me with facial hair.
quote:I had a tiny Japanese guy come up to me in an elevator and exclaim, wide-eyed, that I must have huge penis.
I'm pretty sure he just wanted to borrow money.
The Chinpo-kemon episode of Southpark illustrated just how effective this technique is. I can pretend to be fascinated with blond hair, blue eyes and the implication that they must be bundled with massive genitalia, and suddenly doorways open before me. Champagne rains down from the heavens, money makes its way into my pockets, and my farts smell like strawberries.
Life is wonderful.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
So Tom, is my beard an overalls beard or a beret beard?
Posted by Irami Osei-Frimpong (Member # 2229) on :
Oddly, I have no recollection of your beard at all. I think it may be because your actual hair has enough presence that a beard becomes unnecessary.
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
Icky it's a water to wine beard!
Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :
You know what, though, Irami? I don't even have enough lower-lip hair to grow a decent soul patch. I mean, if I can't do it justice, I'm not going to embarrass both of us.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Have you ever noticed how much the Quaker Oat Guy looks like Barbara Bush (except he has longer hair).
The Oat Guy has no beard, but somehow gives the impression of being bearded.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
...and so does Barbara Bush?
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dante:
quote:Out of interest, WHY do you want a beard?
Well, as I said, I think I deserve one. I mean, physiologically, it's the norm.
But in addition to that, I just like change. If I've had my hair down to my shoulders for a few years, I go and get it cut short. I get bored. I like to experiment. That's the reason I could never get a tattoo--the idea of doing something irreversible to myself drives me crazy.
Plus, from a purely aesthetic standpoint, I think I'd look better with a beard.
Geez. Maybe it's time I tried to grow a beard...
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
Random question / addition to the thread.
My hair is currently a dark blond (dishwater being the popular phrase) or a light brown. The only time I've made a move towards growing a beard, it was a deep mahagony red color. Not a slight difference, a significantly different in color between my hair and my beard. After the first inevitable question regarding hair coloring products, it got shaved off.
Is this the case with anyone else? Anyone know if the colors will ever balance out short of turning grey?
EDIT: Typo
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I've actually seen this a lot with guys who are shades of blond, that their beard is much more red than their hair. Sometimes with brunettes, too, but it's not as noticable. As far as I'm aware, no, it never balances out.
(Enigmatic has dark brown hair and some of his beard hair is practically orange, but not enough to tell unless you're pretty close up.)
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
Nope. I mean, probably not. My husband has very gingery hair on his head, but his beard has blonde, bright red and brown in it, all mixed up. His body hair is pale, pale blonde, except on his chest where it is very dark brown. It's been like that as long as I've known him, and I bet nothing short of going white will change that.
Though I could be wrong.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
My dad (a brunet) used to have a beard that was very red. It did darken somewhat, but it was never as dark as his hair.
It's still not, now that it's mostly white and his hair is mostly gray. Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
My dad's hair is now gray, but I think his beard still grows in dark brown. I'm pretty sure his hair was also rather lighter than the color of his beard.
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