This is topic New column: Top ten really dangerous toys of 2005 in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
Top ten really dangerous toys of 2005

Once again World Against Toys Causing Harm (W.A.T.C.H.), the helpful worrywarts of the toy industry, has issued their annual list of the most dangerous toys of the season. And once again, they have let us down.

Every year these reports alert concerned parents about playthings that can take out eyes, lodge in windpipes, or casually burst into flame during normal use. And every year I read the list and shake my head. Are we so terrified of natural selection? How are our children supposed to become strong, gain valuable survival experience, and get cool scars?

OK, maybe the hair on Animal Alley Ponies (marketed for infants) can be accidentally ingested. But so can real horse hair! And the pair of Fantastic 4 Electronic Thing Hands from Toy Biz made the list because they could cause blunt impact injuries, which I sort of thought was the selling point.

...

(Thanks to romanylass and J.T. for last-minute proofing)
 

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Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
 
I love it!!!
 

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Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
 
I loved it, especially the description of the Furby. Your boss should give you a raise.
 

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Posted by sillygoose (Member # 1616) on :
 
Wow that just made my day, thanks Chris.
 

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Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
 


I like the robot part.
 

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Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
 
*dies*



-pH
 

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Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
 

quote:

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Confused children may become accustomed to these funkified toddler babyskanks (which display heavy makeup and teenage pop diva clothes along with their baby bottles) and may start demanding new toy lines like the Kindergarten Kollagen Kit or My First Implants.

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This actually made me laugh out loud and scare the crap out of my dogs.


 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 

 

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
You want scary - go to Amazon, look up a Bratz doll, and read the comments. Major Barbie vs Bratz wars going on there...
 

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Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
 
This was one of my favorite articles of yours ever.

Have I missed the last month or so worth, or did you take a couple of weeks off?
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 

quote:

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...loving, dependable companionship requires batteries.

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Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
 
I took last week off for Teres' birthday (which is today, incidentally). We accmplished absolutely nothing and spent the week shamelessly goofing off, watching TV, and spending time together. Life was good.
 

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Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
 
"funkified toddler babyskanks" would be a good name for an album.

--Enigmatic
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Chris Bridges:
I took last week off for Teres' birthday (which is today, incidentally). We accmplished absolutely nothing and spent the week shamelessly goofing off, watching TV, and spending time together. Life was good.

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Well, be sure to tell happy birthday to Teresaccomplished from Hatrack!

Oh, and I'm with twinky on this one: the one with the batteries made my day. Why didn't I know this before?!
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
Babyskanks... pirates of the caribean party... *snicker*
 

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Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Enigmatic:
"funkified toddler babyskanks" would be a good name for an album.

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yes, though very Dave Barry. That was actually one of my favorite lines in the whole column.

Yet again, Chris turns out a masterpiece!
 

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Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 
Chris, you know, you should have mentioned the Firefly dvd set. WHile not for children, it is a dangerous toy for adults in that it is inclined to send them on a dangerously wild rollercoaster ride of emotions as they elate over discovering this wonderful series only to be dashed to the depths of despair by the fact that it was cancelled.

I just finished watching the last episode last night. I wanted to cry. Thanks so much for that. As if the holiday season isn't hard enough.


 

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Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 

 

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Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Enigmatic:
"funkified toddler babyskanks" would be a good name for an album.

--Enigmatic

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