quote:

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Scene I: The keep
Enter what appears to be some sort of lawyer, or perhaps a 3rd year law student, bearing a scroll
He looks down at scroll, exits, returns at a run with a larger scroll.

He is followed into the room by a large crowd of seemingly baffled people, most of whom are wearing shirts bearing the name of <insert name here>-Con.


Reading from scroll:
“Whereas, and whereat, unto the parties engage-ed herewith,
Something, something, something…
And so therefore, what has been done may have been legal,
And will perhaps BE legal in future,
Because it is we, the ones who did it, who … um… did it.”
<drops scroll, with a vengeance>

Various comments are shouted from the crowd. It’s difficult to tell what is really being said, but some snippets of speech seem to break through the din:

I disagree! God said so. You should go back and re-read it. I asked her out. She said yes! We’re getting married! Seems vaguely immoral to me. Should I go to the doctor if my leg falls off? Again? We want pictures! That’s the most offensive thing I’ve ever heard. Fanboy! My scroll bar goes backwards. Wench! Spoiler Alert! Good Dobie. Nice Dobie.

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quote:

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SILENCE! Make way for the king!

Hey, he’s not the king! He’s just the highest count.

Shhh…

You shush! Who are you to say shush?

I’m the janitor.

You don’t look like her.

I’m the new one.

Oh.

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quote:

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LATER THAT DAY
Scene: “living room” of the castle

Jester:
Three things doth a king make
<ticks them off one finger at a time, first words loudly, the others as soft side comments>
Popularity – not bought cheaply, may I add?
A kingly bearing – oft in a gilty chair,
And something else – you could not handle it.

The “KING”:
Methinks this jester needs a gesture. Bring the fair one with the Scottish mein!

Lady Mac:
this jester is too familiar by half! I know a smith down zion way that fits him to a T. By your leave, my lord, I’ll underscore this merry varlet and his motley will be even looser than his tongue.
<draws her sword>

Jester:
Your rapier wit doth foil me, fair maiden. Wouldst’ thou be mine? I do not claim to ‘member your weapon, but the sheathe thereof fits my own . . . like a glove.

--I--

The King:
Now that’s well in hand, I’m in the mood for lively discourse. What shall it be my lords, m’ladies? The dangers of too liberal a ruler? The proper respect for God? A philosopher on a stick? A history lesson? Commentary on the arts?

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quote:

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THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

<the giant approaches>
<he “appears” French>
<his screen name is anyway>

Tour dans le pounchboule (a giant):
I AM AN EMISSARY FROM THE LAND OF SECULAR GENDER-FREE COMMUNALISM, avec THE STRONG TRADITIONALIST BENT OF ROMAN CATHOLICISM, avec A LONG HISTORY OF AMBIVALENCE TOWARD JEWS, ARABS, GERMANS, y DES AMERICAINS. I AM HERE TO DISCUSS HOW RIGHT I AM REGARDING HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE, THE SANCTITY OF LIFE (AFTER 3 MONTHS GESTATIONAL PERIOD), ZIONISM, MY (not your) GOD, THE SUPERIORITY OF APPLE MACKINTOSH COMPUTERS, HOW SUPERMAN COULD WHIP BOTH BATMAN AND SPIDERMAN, AND WHO SHOULD PLAY ENDER IN THE UPCOMING MOVIE.

Oooh! Would you look at that! I didn’t know moose could fly.

Isn’t the plural of moose, “mooses?”

I don’t think so. How many meeses are there now anyway?

I hate ALL CAPS.

Well don’t wear one then.

Tour dans le P…:
i am leaving now you people hate me and are mean to les nouvelles personnes besides i was really just conducting a science experiment on you and my paper is finished so i don’t need you anymore.

He wasn’t French.

Nope. His declination of the plu-perfect was a dead giveaway.

Plus, French people have accents.

Yeah. Tough to write those on a BB though.

You could if you spin it.

I fail to see the bearing on this discussion.

Whatever happened to T. dans le P? I kind of miss him.

He had a certain style, neh?

---

Chorus
And now a hero late arrives
He’s plucky,
And powned,

Sotto voce By a pastor!

Chorus:
<looking perplexed>
Like Johnny Appleseed, of lore
He comes out of the East.
The southeast. Well, the CFC anyway.

He plants his, um, whatchamacallits
And rides away, and back
And plants some more
And leaves, and comes back
Frankly, he seems a little obsessed.

Sotto voce Get a grip!

Chorus:
Oops, where were we?
And many years later,
(Long after the rhyme scheme died,)
Every few feet or so
Along this winding river
A stick in the mud
A pole, a branchless tree
Sprang up wherever he had been.

sotto voce: It’s a sign!

Chorus:
Sticking out, not so far
Never too deep.
Never that!

And yet, there are so many
Every one underlining the space between two truths

sotto voceOh that’s what that little underscore character is. Yeah right.

Chorus:
No! The truths are:
That fluff, mere fluff
And puns,
Sure do add up over the years
20,000 posts, give or take


sotto voce oh, I get it, the sticks are “posts.” Cute. It’s sort of a lot to read through just to get to one lame @ss pun, but hey, it’s YOUR flippin’ landmark, so whatever, dude.

Bob_Scopatz: Sorry if it was a little corny.

sotto voce No, puns about hominy are a little corny. This was like all of Iowa corny. Like the grain elevator from hell. And you left out a bunch of people too.

Bob_Scopatz: Yeah, sorry about that. It was getting really long and I was getting tired.

sotto voce Well, at least it wasn’t an onanism thread.

Bob_Scopatz: Or too self-referential.

sotto voce Same thing.
 

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Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
 
I would respond to this post, but I am currently DEAD from laughing so hard.

Thanks a lot Bob! Happy 20K and I hope you stick around for the rest of all of our natural lives....and after that.

(((BOB!)))
 

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Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
 
Happy 20,000 Bob.
 

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Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
 
Party time for 20,000!
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 


*applauds*
 

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Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
 
Ahhhh, delightful. *grins*

Go to bed, man, and get some sleep. You're reeling . . .


 

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Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
A thing of beauty. Long live the King (um, Highest Count)!

(could you slow down a bit until I catch up?)
 

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Posted by Onanism Thread (Member # 8525) on :
 
You rang?
 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
Oh my gosh, I love this place! And I even get a lot of the jokes!

You mean LANDMARK not MAYFLY don't you??? This was great, Bob!
 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
Really embarrassed -- myflay not mayfly -- how did I not see that??
 

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Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
 
Oh hey, I found the "Stoned Posting" thread!

Congratulations!
 

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Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
 
All Hail Bob_Scopatz!!!!

(and is he really top poster now?)
 

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Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
 
Yay, Bob.


 

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Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
 

quote:

---

I’m the janitor.

You don’t look like her.

I’m the new one.

Oh.

---

Congratulations, Bob.
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
Depends on what you mean by top, I suppose.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Tom has 23,000+ and kat is rapidly approaching 20,000.
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
Absolutely marvelous!

quote:

---

Let’s not even discuss your ante climax. Should’ve known better than to poker.

quote:

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THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP

---

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That got me rolling with laughter..

Farmgirl
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
This. is. awesome.

I have to reread it a few times more, but wow. Wow wow wow.
 

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Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
 



Beauty.
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
Great stuff Bob! I think the bit with Lady Mac and the Jester was my single favorite part of it.
 

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Posted by Krankykat (Member # 2410) on :
 
Bob:
Dem dares alota posts
since September 2000
64 months,
256 weeks,
20,000 posts,
averages are:
78.12 posts a week,
11.1 posts a day.

I do still lurk
from time to time and
have enjoyed reading
much of what you say
and observing how your
political and social
views have evolved
over the years.

Krank
 

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Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rivka:
Tom has 23,000+ and kat is rapidly approaching 20,000.

---

And I'm sure Tante Shvester will pass them all any day now... <grin>
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
--I--


 

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Posted by ReikoDemosthenes (Member # 6218) on :
 



Wow that was awesome. Congratulations, Bob!
 

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Posted by Silent E (Member # 8840) on :
 
You are all weirdos.

Well, mostly just Bob.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
 

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Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
 
Great one, Bob! Congrats on 20,000.
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
For Bob.
 

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Posted by Lavalamp (Member # 4337) on :
 
I think I'm in love.

Do you know her address?
 

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Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
 
she's married. To a guy who wears orange tights.
 

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Posted by Lavalamp (Member # 4337) on :
 
Not Mack!

her!
 

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Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
 
He doesn't always wear orange tights. Only on special occasions.

Very special occasions.
 

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Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
 
Bravissimo, Bob! Very enjoyable. That post is going on my HD.

Like when he's surrounded by hooting wenches, Mac?
 

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Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
 
Beautiful!
 

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Posted by foundling (Member # 6348) on :
 
That made me so happy... words cant even explain
::sotto voice:: And Bob, by the way, I just so happen to be a major producer (Andrew Loyd Webber got his middle name from me), and I'd be VERY interested in creating a sort of Monty Python meets The Pirates of Penzance MONTAGE out of this. Think about it, darling. Just think about it. ::end sotto voice::
 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
*bump* (just because I felt like it)
 

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Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
 
Awesome! Awesome!Awesome! Awesome! That was supremely awesome. I could so see that being performed. If it is, a promise must be kept to take pics or video or both of the performance.

Encore! Encore! Brava! Brava!

/bows to utter genius which is better than udder genius
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
Shameless bump, plus...

Thanks all!

I never knew that Andrew Lloyd Webber's middle name was "foundling." Now I shall be unbeatable at Trivial Pursuit!



(and, fyi, I was not referring to myself as "the King" in that piece. He knows who he is.)


 

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Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
 
Fantastic, Bob.

Congratulations on 20,000!
 

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Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
 
lol, that was great.

Though, I wonder if the fact that one of the things that amused me the most was the fact that you titled it "20000 posts -- a 'myflay'" makes me strange.
 

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Posted by JonnyNotSoBravo (Member # 5715) on :
 
So much funny, so many puns, so much innuendo, i can see it verily well perfumed with much aplum (putting it in retrospective). Myflay is a different kind of myspace only with a stranger bubble and more glycerin. I am well-pleased and wroth with desire to view the Bard's works *sidebar* agin.
 

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