If you're sick of technicalities, bump down to "Injury".
Background
In 1932-33. England toured Australia and played five cricket Test matches. They developed a tactic of bowling with fast bowlers making sure the ball hits the ground early and bounces up high towards the batman's body. Any attempt to hit the ball and start scoring points results in a danger of getting injured. Unless you're a very skilled player, there is no chance of playing without risking being caught and dismissed, as well as heavily injured.
England won wasily; the name of Douglas Jardine, the English captain, is condemed to this day and all sorts of fielding and bowling stylistics resembling that 1932-33 series, "bodyline" stylistics, are banned.
Last week a friend of mine and I were playing cricket, or the best of the game we could. I was doing rather well, so my friend, who was still bowling when it got dark, took the old cricket ball (we play with a tennis ball - bright green, lightweight, small, bouncy and fast; and an ancient cricket ball that's hard and heavy but can't bounce well). and got it to bounce chest high - I got struck on my hand several times - and it's painful when a 50 MPH ball slams onto your hand/chest. In the Bodyline series it got close to 100 MPH.
But I got used to that and started settling into those shots when he played them today. I batted through very quickly and well, so he moved onto a new tactic. At this point I'd like to mention that none of this is aimed at injury, just at dismissal of batsman and stopping me from getting runs (points). The tactic was to bown the ball witohut letting it hit the ground (full-tosses). Usually this is easy for the batsman to play, as you strike directly at the ball; but if the ball is going directly at the batsman's head (beamer) it forces him out of the way and he can't play.
So two full-tosses I played well and struck to the boundary. The next ball came up high and sloped to the leg-side, behind me. I turned around to try and hit it powerfully backwards, and the ball swung in the air (similarly to a "curve-ball") and I misjudged how far it will drop in air by the time it will reach me. I swung to hit the ball, thinking if the worst will happen I'll miss it, but I apparently went to far - as one who has good footwork, I knew that I won't be unbalanced or anything hitting the ball.
Injury
As I said, the ball deviated inwards and I went a little too far hitting it. Next think I knew my left eye and left side of my nose were in agony and I had my eyes shut. One moment later I was swearing and my right eye only open. My friend then rushed over to see whether I was alright. My nose is now practically hooked (thanks a lot on convertimg my nose to Judaism, bythe way!) and painful at the bone, I've got three cuts, one of them very wide on the nose-side of my eye-socket, and worst of all one of my glasses smashed.
A sweet from his father (my English teacher) - a lollipop of Santa - was offered to me by my friend as a belated Birthday (Christmas - long story) present. He gave me the sweet after the injury to make me feel better.
"Here you go, Piggy!" said my friend, giving me my specs, one of the lenses broken.
Off to shower'n'bed, my eyes hurt, and so dos my neck - I'm a hunchback now over the keyboard.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Did you, um, see a doctor?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
They call you Piggy?
Do you have ass-mar?
Posted by sarcasticmuppet (Member # 5035) on :
You were hit in the head with a fast-moving object, but didn't go to the emergency room?
Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :
Go be a male model!
Sorry, inside joke ... with ... umm ... myself.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
<relieved this isn't an onanism thread>
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
I thought the idea was to protect the wicket. I really can't see how a bean ball would ever become low enough to hit the wicket.
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
The idea is to protect the wicket; the aim of a beamer is usually none - it's usually a mistake of a ball. In this case the beamer was bowled on the leg-side in order to try and break the rhythm of boundaries I was scoring consistently off full-tosses on the off-side.
I don't have ass-mar, and don't see why for thre cuts near the eye I have to go to the emergency room on a Saturday, especially when the best emergency room around is that in Hadassa Ein Karem, where Ariel Sharon is (was? Haven't checked the news this morning).
This is NOT an onanism thread.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
But perhaps your nose is broken. I mean, if it changed shape, that's likely. And that might require some medical attention.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
But if you don't have ass-mar, why do they call you Piggy?
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I'm guessing because of the broken glasses. Jonathan leads a very "Lord of the Flies" existence, apparently.
Jon, why is it that lately, whenever you post here, I find myself worrying about you?
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
quote: Jon, why is it that lately, whenever you post here, I find myself worrying about you?
Exques per le mon problemen!
(I know my grammar's horrible. Then again, I can't speak or spell French.)
I don't know; I'm sory I'm causing you strain. I've been known to bring people to the point of almost insane and frantic worry about me, then be surprised and tell them nothing's too wrong, and they are all angry later on for me causing such trouble.
So please, don't worry about me too much. It's very nice of you, but I've got to ask you to be more calm or else I'm afraid that I'll risk your health; and then I'll feel bad.
My fathre checked my nose today, almost certainly not fractured, but i klept on thinking that you, Tante, wrote a full-stop after "LOTF" and before the closing quote. I thought it was rather odd, and only after a big blink and shaking of head did I see no full stop, which made more sense.
I need glasses quickly. It will take another 2-3 days, though. %@$^!