This is topic "Unlike other candidates, I'm not going to hide my evil side" in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by camus (Member # 8052) on :
 
Take a gander at Jonathon (The Impaler) Sharkey, who will launch his gubernatorial campaign in Princeton, Minn., on Friday the 13th as a "satanic dark priest" and the leader of the "Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party."

...he describes himself as a "sanguinary vampyre ... just like you see in the movies and TV, I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor (at this time in my life, it is my wife, Julie), and drink their blood," he said in an e-mail.

Quite some distance from the mainstream, however, is his pledge to execute -- by impalement in front of the State Capitol -- terrorists, rapists, drug dealers, child abusers, repeat drunken drivers and anybody who preys on the elderly.


Article in Star Tribune

So if he gets elected, we'll all be .

 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
"Jon the Impaler" just doesn't quite have that same ring to it...
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Hmmm. I shall keep him in mind for when it's time to decide who to vote for.
 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
You know what's scary? He might have a chance. Isn't this the state that elected a pro wrestler governor?
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Yes, it is. In fact, I voted for Jesse Ventura, and was quite happy with him as governor. He also had some political experience already, having been a very successful mayor in a large suburb, and had a talk radio show for a couple of years before he ran, so his views were well known.

After reading the personal section of this guy's web site, I must say I wouldn't vote for him. And no, I don't think he really has a chance of winning. His policy suggestions are rather extreme, even for a state that's had a pro wrestler governor.
 

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Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by twinky:
"Jon the Impaler" just doesn't quite have that same ring to it...

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. . . and "Sharkey the Impaler" is just too funny to take seriously.
 

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Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
 
If he gets elected, Minnesota will have officially jumped the Sharkey.
 

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Posted by camus (Member # 8052) on :
 
"like Sly Stallone’s “Rocky Balboa" I am a fighter. And I will fight for the rights of every
Minnesotan"

With a slogan like that, how can you NOT vote for him?

"...as well as Americans when I become President."

Definitely quite ambitious and confident.

"I am evil. However, I prefer to unleash my evil side upon terrorists and criminals."

How nice of him.

Oh, and he's also not afraid to admit making poor decisions in the past, though he apparently doesn't regret them.

"I met a girl who was totally taken by me and who I was. She was hott and sexy, so I drove her home that night on my bike, and slept with her. Though I do not regret sleeping with her, in 1996 I found that she was my half-sister who I hadn't seen since 1970."

And finally, he does support the right "to worship the Goodess/God of your choice"
 

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Posted by JemmyGrove (Member # 6707) on :
 
Oh my holy great snot.

I'm speachless.
 

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Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 
It would be funnier if I thought Americans were too stupid to vote for him.
 

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Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
 

quote:

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If he gets elected, Minnesota will have officially jumped the Sharkey.

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Lisa, I'm glad I don't drink at the computer. That could have been very messy.
 

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Posted by David Bowles (Member # 1021) on :
 
:waits for Bush jokes:
 

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Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
 

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Any Terrorist who is caught in Minnesota while I am governor, will find out what the true meaning of my nickname: “The Impaler!” I will impale them right in front of our State Capital. Then Fed’s can take the terrorist’s body from the impaling stake. If the US Department of Justice (DOJ) wants to charge me with brutally murdering a terrorist, they may do so. I do not see an American Jury convicting me.

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quote:

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Quite some distance from the mainstream, however, is his pledge to execute -- by impalement in front of the State Capitol -- terrorists, rapists, drug dealers, child abusers, repeat drunken drivers and anybody who preys on the elderly.

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