[in an allyway in a bad neighborhood] drug addict:i want some hatd stuff what do gots drug dealer:i will gige you a choice...take the blue pill you wake up in bed tomorrow and none of this will have ever happened take the red pill and i show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes
[when selling dishes] customer:how much is this set of teaspoons salesman:there is no spoon
Posted by krynn (Member # 524) on :
Talking to an attractive girls body-building boyfriend... "I know kung-fu."
In court defending yourself... "The Oracle said that i am not the one."
Posted by Son of Shvester (Member # 8489) on :
[at a graduation] welcome to the real world
[when giving somone a pot brownie] by the tine you're done with this cookie you'll feel right as rain
[telling a knock knock joke] guy1:knock knock neo guy2:who is it guy1:its me guy2:miisster annderson i've been expeeecting you
Posted by GaalDornick (Member # 8880) on :
Job interview
Boss guy: Thank you for applying. I will give you a phone call if you get the job, ok?
Guy trying to get job: Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about I give you the finger ... and you give me my phone call?
Posted by Reticulum (Member # 8776) on :
Yes, A spinnoff thread!
Posted by GaalDornick (Member # 8880) on :
Church
Priest leading prayer: Mr. Wizard! Get me the hell out of here!
Posted by GaalDornick (Member # 8880) on :
News reporter: Mr. Jacques Chirac, how was your stay in the United States?
Jacques Chirac: I hate this place, this zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink, and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.
-----
News reporter: Mr. Bush, what does America need most right now?
President Bush: Guns. Lots of guns.
---- Edit: someone needs to think of a good one for "Ignorance is bliss". I don't think I'd be able to do it justice.
[ January 17, 2006, 10:24 PM: Message edited by: GaalDornick ]
Posted by Reticulum (Member # 8776) on :
Ohh, I think you will...
Posted by Orincoro (Member # 8854) on :
President Bush to Tony Blair: Have you ever looked at it? Marvelled at it? Millions of people, living out their lives. Oblivious!... I can't stand it any longer. I have to get out, I have to get into England and you have the Key. MY key! And your going to give it to me.
Tony Blair: Whoa
School board Meeting: I believe that this night holds for each of us, the answer to a question we've been asking all our lives.
Parent: Ignorance is Bliss?
Posted by Son of Shvester (Member # 8489) on :
[at a funeral] priest:I killed you Mr. Anderson. I watched you die (with much satisfaction i might add).
[in a stripclub] are you listening to me or are you looking at the lady in the red dress
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Supreme Court Judge: President Bush, how is it that you could imagine that secretly spying on Americans like this was in any way legal with what the constitution has to say?
New Reporter: President Bush, how do you feel about the government's slow response to Katrina in New Orleans and its resultant effect on your poll ratings?
President Bush: Ignorance is bliss.
******
I could probably do more with more time, but for now that's what I could come up with.
Posted by Son of Shvester (Member # 8489) on :
can anyone think of a good follow the white rabbit situation
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
In an insane asylum talking to a dillusional person?
Posted by Rabid Newz (Member # 7704) on :
Republicans: What do you think would happen if we poked Iran with a stick?
Democrats: Ignorance is bliss...
Republicans: How about a really really big stick?
Posted by GaalDornick (Member # 8880) on :
Anyone: Come on! Stop trying to hit me and hit me!
Shaquille O'Neal: Ok.
Posted by HectorVictor (Member # 9003) on :
Kidnapped person: Get away from me!
Kidnapper: I'm not so bad...once you get to know me.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)