I've heard a lot of horror stories about mother-in-laws, and I know that not everyone has a good relationship with theirs, but I also know that there are those who are absolute gems.
I'm lucky enough to have one of the gems.
Our relationship didn't get off to a good start - it was over two years into the marriage before Fahim was accepted back into the family - but once he was accepted back, I was accepted right along with him, full force.
Fahim and I both caught a bug on Saturday or Sunday. Fahim was fine by yesterday, but I'm still not feeling well. But then, mine is no longer a stomach bug but is now really really bad cramps. I can't eat solid food and I can't do much other than lie on the couch and whimper.
Fahim's parents know that we're sick - we were supposed to go over on Sunday for a visit and dinner. Since then, they've been checking in with us every day to see how we were doing. This morning, Fahim's mom calls and says she's bringing us lunch.
She doesn't have to do this, but bless her! I don't have to worry about feeding Fahim. He's been having the same leftovers for days now, and he's bored. He went to the store for painkillers for me yesterday and brought home frozen pizza - you know, the individual serving size ones that are four inches in diameter and take an entire box to feed one male. Yep, they've finally arrived in Sri Lanka. And they're gross and disgusting, way more so than the ones in Canada.
So Fahim's going to have good food for lunch and I don't have to do a thing! Yay!
I think I'll go whimper again.
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
Indeed yay for nice mother-in-laws.
Mine is great also. Desparately wanting grandkidlets, and sometimes hints a *bit* too strongly, but that's a minor thing.
And *hugs* for you. Get better!
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Mine hasn't said anything about kids, but maybe that's only because I don't speak Sinhalese and she doesn't speak English?
Oh, the cramps thing isn't a part of the bug we caught. Oh no, nothing so sinister. This is just regular ordinary painful as hell cramps cramps. Yeah, I'll be fine in another day or two. Thanks!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Wonderful mothers-in-law are a blessing.
I look forward to having one. Posted by maui babe (Member # 1894) on :
My former mother in law and I got along fine, as long as we avoided certain topics (like my wedding, but that's a story for another day), but we get along even better now that I'm not married to her son anymore.
At this point, I'm looking forward to being a good mother in law. It's kind of hard, living so far away from my daughter and son in law, but I do what I can.
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
The worst thing my mother-in-law did was to die. She was a chain-smoking alcoholic, but she's a saint now. My mom will never be good enough for Kent.
Don't misunderstand me, please. I do love my mother-in-law. I deeply regret not having the chance for my daughters to meet her in this life. I miss being able to share things with her, and being able to ask her about family stuff.
Despite her bad habits (smoking, drinking), she was good to me and to us as a couple.
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
CaySedai, I hear you. That's a difficult situation to be in.
My mother-in-law came over, and of course, her food was good. It always is. I even stepped up to eating solid foods because it was her cooking. Yep, it was good. And we have enough for dinner tonight, too.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
You know, there's something to be said for the healing powers of traditional "sick foods". It's probably not chicken soup in Sri Lanka, but I bet the same love goes into the traditional "sickie dishes" made by mothers all over the world.
Posted by Mama Squirrel (Member # 4155) on :
My MIL is wonderful.
Pop wasn't as lucky. Of course he has two instead of one, though one is much better than the other.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Good in-laws are a huge plus. I love my ex-FiL. He's the best grandfather I've ever seen. He makes a lot of effort to be close to his only grandson, and has taken Rainbow as his own too. When the grandkids are around, there's nothing else in the world he's doing but spending time with them. Rainy is still a little too young to go spend the night at grandpa's, but Christian spends a week at a time there during school vacations. They have a great relationship, and I love that.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
Pop was far luckier at getting a spouse, though.
I think it's also important to note (not that anyone has indicated otherwise) that what makes a good mother isn't the same as what makes a good mother-in-law, and being good or bad at one doesn't necessarily make one good or bad at the other (that wording is unfortunate and open to wrong readings, but I think you can get my intended meaning).
[Edit -- this is not to say I don't think my mother was a good mother. She was/is great.]
--Pop
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I'm one of the people blessed with wonderful in-laws.
When I met my in-laws for the first time, my husband and I had already talked about and decided to get married. The flight up to visit them was very stressful for me - I had a horrible stomach ache by the time we landed. Everyone is nervous when they meet their girlfriend/boyfriend's parents for the first time. I was very nervous, since I knew they would be my in-laws. The thing I was most nervous about was that they would not be able to attend our wedding (my husband and I are LDS and had decided to be married in the LDS temple - his family are not LDS and would not be able to attend the wedding). I had nightmares about "Hi! I'm Amanda. I'm going to marry your son and you can't come." Obviously, there were lots of opportunities for friction and hurt feelings. None ever materialized. They have always been completely welcoming, loving, and accepting of me. I always feel completely comfortable when I am with them - sometimes more comfortable than I do with my own family. When we go on vacation - we go to visit his family. I wish everyone could have in-laws like that.
Posted by sweetbaboo (Member # 8845) on :
My MIL is the greatest ever! She often says that there are no "in-laws" that we're all her kids. That helped me right off the bat feel loved, accepted and welcomed. There are many times that I've leaned on her shoulder to cry and she has been a comforting, listening ear. I feel so blessed to know her and have her for my Mom.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
I love my mother-in-law. She is an absolutely wonderful woman.
Posted by Silent E (Member # 8840) on :
I have a fantastic mother-in-law. Despite how often married men complain about their mothers-in-law, I get the feeling that there are actually more men that like their mothers-in-law than women who do.
My own mom, who has always been a magnificant mother, is a pretty lousy mother-in-law, and I can't figure out why.
Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
Oooo! A place to praise my mother-in-law!
My MIL has done *so* much for us these past couple of months. She took me to the doctor back in September when I broke my tailbone. In early December when I had a few days of debilitating illness, she took the kids for me so that I could rest. She watched the kids on several other occasions throughout the busy month of December, because, well, there was just so much going on. But she herself is quite a busy woman!
She again watched my kids when I was put on bed-rest for preterm labor. We didn't know I would give birth two days later. She had the kids while I was in the hospital. She took down my Christmas decorations for me (no small task!) and kept my house in lovely, running order. She came early every school-day the next week to get my kids ready for the day and my oldest off to school and would take the ones not in school as needed.
And on top of all that, she makes such lovely gifts. I love the quilted wall-hangings she has made, as well as so many other sewn gifts. She makes the most beautiful lace and is quite renowned in the local area for her abilities.
I have never seen her get offended or be offensive. She is quite possibly the most perfect mother-in-law in the whole world. Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
*sigh*
I will say of my mother-in-law that she raised three great kids in sometimes trying circumstances.
...But she's caused so much pain and difficulty to us that I'm having to actively work to forgive her.
She's not a bad person, just terribly weak. I'm glad most of you have better experiences.
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Sterling, I think it's just that, really, only the really good experiences are getting posted in here. If you started a thread with "what a lousy mother in law" you'd probably get at least as many responses. And you have my sympathy.
Fahim is unlucky enough that his in-laws are hell, but since I have nothing to do with them, he's spared that turmoil.
Sweetbaboo, my in-laws have said the same thing! They consider me their daughter, not their daughter-in-law, and I'm to call them the same thing their kids call them - mommie and daddy. They're so cute!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
My mom will never be good enough for Kent.