This is topic Alternative Methods Of Population Control in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Mean Old Frisco (Member # 6666) on :
 
I think the SuDoku craze/addiction is a good start. I can sit for hours without thinking about sex.

What else?

Draw straws at age 65?

Or maybe, more interestingly, "pick a cup and drink", a la Princess Bride or the last Indiana Jones?

Would make a great reality show, if you ask me.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Ban grapeseed oil.
 

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Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
 
Why don't we just offer free visectomies or encourage our children to grow up as gay people who hate kids?
 

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Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
 
Replace all sodas with mountain dew.

Make playing an MMORPG a requirement for young married males.
 

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Posted by Alex Johansen (Member # 9090) on :
 
What are you talking about?

Population control has to be done methodically, like deer hunting. We kill deer to make sure they don't run out of food, right? Well sooner or later, I'm pretty sure, (in fact, Ethiopia, India, parts of China, in fact almost every country have starving children and people, and it's no always because they are lazy bums, sure, some of it is a bad economy, but you can't produce what you don't have to produce anyways, as was saying "I'm pretty sure") that eventually oru food supply will be overshadowed by our worl dpopulation, making it impossible to survive unless we can maybe build an entire "layer" so to speak over farmland, producing artificial light in the fields, then having another field of farmland over that field, built kind of like a giant office building.

Or we can shoot the deer that are biggest and slowest. Cruel, true. But lifesaving? Just maybe! Just... not saving the lives of those that arent producing. Maybe if we just get rid of all the bums in the world.
 

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Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
 
honey we were having fun
 

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Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Alex Johansen:
What are you talking about?

Population control has to be done methodically, like deer hunting. We kill deer to make sure they don't run out of food, right? Well sooner or later, I'm pretty sure, (in fact, Ethiopia, India, parts of China, in fact almost every country have starving children and people, and it's no always because they are lazy bums, sure, some of it is a bad economy, but you can't produce what you don't have to produce anyways, as was saying "I'm pretty sure") that eventually oru food supply will be overshadowed by our worl dpopulation, making it impossible to survive unless we can maybe build an entire "layer" so to speak over farmland, producing artificial light in the fields, then having another field of farmland over that field, built kind of like a giant office building.

Or we can shoot the deer that are biggest and slowest. Cruel, true. But lifesaving? Just maybe! Just... not saving the lives of those that arent producing. Maybe if we just get rid of all the bums in the world.

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quote:

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Make playing an MMORPG a requirement for young married males.

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Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
 

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Make playing an MMORPG a requirement for young married males.

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Posted by aiua (Member # 7825) on :
 
Why stop at the dumb ones?
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
For that matter, we could have the cool characters in movies and TV shows start smoking again, and maybe have them shower with toasters, lick hair driers, wear jewelry made of from spent fuel rods (we've got to do something with that waste, right?), and other assorted life shortening things.
 

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Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
 
No, not the spent fuel rods. That'll shorten the life of everyone around them too, likely to be you at some point.

We could just show certain portions of Groundhogs Day a whole bunch.

Or make a new fad where being tan to the point of being bring red sunburned is popular and open up a whole bunch of tanning salons. We can get rich and kill off a large portion of the population all at once.


...wait a second...
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 
Tell everyone, when they turn forty, that they can't leave solitary confinement till they solve a Rubik's Cube. Easy you say? But what if it was a rigged Rubik's Cube? And what if you were monitored so as to guarantee that no one cheats.
 

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Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
 
Population Control?
 

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Posted by Artemisia Tridentata (Member # 8746) on :
 
Just tell everyone, when they turn forty that they can't leave solitary confinement untill the get the VCR to quit blinking.
 

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Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Artemisia Tridentata:
Just tell everyone, when they turn forty that they can't leave solitary confinement untill the get the VCR to quit blinking.

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My VCR doesn't blink ( ), but I'll give you one of these anyway:


 

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Posted by human_2.0 (Member # 6006) on :
 
Thinning the herd
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Eliminate the cigarette tax.
 

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Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
When you are born, you can be implanted with a little colored light on your palm. And when you turn 30, the light will start flashing red so that everyone knows that it is time for you to die. But no one will mind dying at age 30, because they will be executed via a giant shiny carousel that will make everyone too distracted to care. Heck, we can even tell people that when they get on the carousel, they won't be executed, they'll be "renewed". We can even sell tickets and make it a fun form of entertainment!
 

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Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
 

 

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Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Alcon:
Or the warnings on toasters warning not to use metal objects to retreive toast.

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Actually, I don't get this one. I routinely use a pair of forks, or a fork and a knife, to retrieve toast from the toaster. I have been doing this for probably thirty years or so, and have never had a mishap. As far as I know, there are no exposed contacts in a toaster, but I have heard this warning before. Why?
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*hopes Icky isn't #16!*
 

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Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
 
Oh, Icky. Naughty boy!

Okay -- according to my parents, when I was of an age to be lectured at about these things (30+ years ago; maybe things have changed?)

"You never, ever *thwack offending hand* EVER, EVER," *thwack other offending hand* "stick ANYTHING into the toaster EVER!" *thwack offending child on butt*

*sobs*

"All right -- come here and let me show you something."

*sniffle*

*plugs toaster in and on -- tips forward and shows the glowing filaments*

"Those get that red color from electricity. Metal and electricity don't mix. That could hurt you very bad. UNPLUG the toaster, wait for it to cool down, and then tip it upside down and shake out the toast, okay?"

*in the background* "Clean up the mess, too!"

*child puzzles*

"What?" parent asks, "you look confused."

"You don't unplug it first, daddy . . . "

*thwack*

So, I don't know if that helps, or not.

In all fairness, I was the child that routinely had to try what I was specifically told not to do . . . touch the hot iron, see in the knife was really sharp, stick things in the electrical outlet, etc.



Edit to add: all thwacks past first added as creative license to inprove dram-esticity of story.
 

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Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
 
I know about 5 outlets in my house have the hot and neutral reversed.

But I cram my chubby fingers into the toaster to get my toast anyhow.
 

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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
Then there is everyone's favorite: Global Thermo-Nuclear War.

That would thin the herd a bit.
 

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Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
 
I'm all for eliminating the laws that protect stupid people, or reckless, or foolish people as a means of population control.

Just stand back and let Darwinism do its best.
 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
Make all drugs legal for sale over the counter.
 

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Posted by Kayla (Member # 2403) on :
 
I missed this thread.

I'm glad I'm not the only total geek here though, because the first thing that popped into my head was this stupid movie quote. Primal Curve and Tante made me feel better though. (Did you know there is a Free Enterprise 2 in the works? )

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I'll tell you what's bothering me, Beach Blanket Bimbo Fiesta boy... I'm turning thirty in three weeks.

Ah, the fiery ritual of Carousel... perhaps you'll be renewed.

I'll see if you're laughing in six months when your palm is blinking red.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Tante Shvester:
When you are born, you can be implanted with a little colored light on your palm. And when you turn 30, the light will start flashing red so that everyone knows that it is time for you to die. But no one will mind dying at age 30, because they will be executed via a giant shiny carousel that will make everyone too distracted to care. Heck, we can even tell people that when they get on the carousel, they won't be executed, they'll be "renewed". We can even sell tickets and make it a fun form of entertainment!

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quote:

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Ban grapeseed oil.

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