Me id kill hitler.
Posted by Tinros (Member # 8328) on :
Did you just dobie your own thread? Or does this one have a standing of its own?
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
I fear this is an original one.
--j_k
Posted by Joldo (Member # 6991) on :
Erm . . . can I do the Fight Club answer and say I'd like to fight Gandhi? Nah, I love that guy.
Hm. My instincts are telling me to kill Ernest Hemingway or Gertrude Stein. Or at least crush their writing hands.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
Tiberius Caesar, before he became emperor.
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
No one! For if I were to kill someone it may very well destroy the delicate fabric of this universe as we know it. The past must be maintained! Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
I started to write up a response, but then I realized that I kind of find this topic disturbing.
Posted by Einstien (Member # 9128) on :
Why? seems perfectly fine with me, no! for get the past the future is the only way to look.
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vadon: No one! For if I were to kill someone it may very well destroy the delicate fabric of this universe as we know it. The past must be maintained!
*waits for someone to invoke the Grandfather Paradox*
--j_k
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
I'm not sure I could kill anyone. Maybe there are some people I'd try to stop from doing some things, though.
Kinda glad I don't really have to face that decision. If I ever do, I'll wait until I'm older and wiser, then come back and tell myself the better answer (assuming time travel is now available -- or is this a one wish thing like A Cross Country Trip to Kill Richard Nixon [sorry that's sort of a spoiler, but a pretty small one]?).
--Pop
Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
Is it possible to go back in time and kill yourself? (Not that I want to)
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
As long as you don't kill your father.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
The British.
AFTER America was already created.
Posted by Reticulum (Member # 8776) on :
Hell Yeah! Damn Brits, with their crumpets, and tea time... and thwacking game, Polo!
Also...yeaaaaah.
*streches and walks away*
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
Thomas Edison. Lights with all their friggin light and whatnot.
Posted by Reticulum (Member # 8776) on :
I know! Supernovae, and junk.
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
quote:Originally posted by Einstien: Me id kill hitler.
Deb and I second that. Although I think that the dude that started McCarthyism should die too. I aim my shotgun, the Lucy. *bang bang*
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
You don't mean McCarthy do you?
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Deb: I told you! I told you!!
AoD: ROFL
Deb said the EXACT same thing.
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
Deb is a smart girl. You are a silly girl. You two playing around on forums at 1:37 in the morning makes sense.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by Einstien: Me id kill hitler.
Your id kills Hitler? Freud would be impressed. Einstein, unfortunately, is not.
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
What kind of slip would that be? Ahhhh.
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
quote:Originally posted by airmanfour: Deb is a smart girl. You are a silly girl. You two playing around on forums at 1:37 in the morning makes sense.
It's 10:37 over here, my dear.
Posted by Carrie (Member # 394) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Einstien: Me id kill hitler.
Your id kills Hitler? Freud would be impressed. Einstein, unfortunately, is not.
I actually snorted in laughter several times. Thank you.
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
Stupid "here" being not the same as my here and all the time differential that that implies. I am a sily boy. So me one playing around on forums at 3:18 in the morning makes sense? I need to be stopped.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
If I managed to kill Julius Caesar, then instead of "Et tu, Brute", Shakespeare would have written "Et tu, Tante", and I think that would be kind of cool.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
I think it would be more interesting to prove conclusively that rather than killing Hitler, history could be changed for the better by just giving him a hug at the opportune moment in his childhood. Posted by sarcare (Member # 8736) on :
In my office, a bunch of grad students in history have sat around pondering this question. They have decided not to go with dictators--I think the list is something like J.J. Rousseau, Michel Foucault, Juergen Habermas.
There were some other people, but we really spent more time imagining historical cage matches. For instance, if John Locke and Plato were in a cage match who would win? Then we'd discuss the likely fighting styles and tactics. We also did this for the entire department...
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
Einstien is either a really, really funny screenname or a really unfortunate one. I can't decide which, and while I love the delicious irony of misspelling the name of one of history's greatest thinkers I'm not sure it was done on purpose. Which isn't near as funny.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
Maurice Duplessis, the [guy] took thousands of orhpans and commited them to insane asylums to get money from the federal gov't, and screwed up quebec for decades to come.
Also on a side note I'ld never have to worry about anyone killing me when I rule the world because if they go back in time to kill me then theyre wouldn't be any reason to go back in time to do so and thus I'm still alive and then they try to go back in time to kill me but since it never happens because i died they never went back in time to kill me thus I'm stilll alive and still take over the world causing them to go back in time again in order to kill me when I rule the world because if they go back in time to kill me then theyre wouldn't be any reason to go back in time to do so and thus I'm still alive and then they try to go back in time to kill me but since it never happens because i died they never went back in time to kill me thus I'm stilll alive and still take over the world causing them to go back in time again in order to kill me when I rule the world because if they go back in time to kill me then theyre wouldn't be any reason to go back in time to do so and thus I'm still alive and then they try to go back in time to kill me but since it never happens because i died they never went back in time to kill me thus I'm stilll alive and still take over the world causing them to go back in time again in order to kill me when I rule the world because if they go back in time to kill me then theyre wouldn't be any reason to go back in time to do so and thus I'm still alive and then they try to go back in time to kill me but since it never happens because i died they never went back in time to kill me thus I'm stilll alive and still take over the world causing them to go back in time again in order to kill me when I rule the world because if they go back in time to kill me then theyre wouldn't be any reason to go back in time to do so and thus I'm still alive and then they try to go back in time to kill me but since it never happens because i died they never went back in time to kill me thus I'm stilll alive and still take over the world causing them to go back in time again in order to kill me when I rule the world because if they go back in time to kill me then theyre wouldn't be any reason to go back in time to do so and thus I'm still alive and then they try to go back in time to kill me but since it never happens because i died they never went back in time to kill me thus I'm stilll alive and still take over the world causing them to go back in time again in order to kill me when I rule the world because if they go back in time to kill me then theyre wouldn't be any reason to go back in time to do so and thus I'm still alive and then they try to go back in time to kill me but since it never happens because i died they never went back in time to kill me thus I'm stilll alive and still take over the world causing them to go back in time again in order to kill me when I rule the world because if they go back in time to kill me then theyre wouldn't be any reason to go back in time to do so and thus I'm still alive and then they try to go back in time to kill me but since it never happens because i died they never went back in time to kill me thus I'm stilll alive and still take over the world causing them to go back in time again in order to kill me...
[ January 31, 2006, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: Papa Janitor ]
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
That reminds me of an Invader Zim episode called Big Bad Rubber Piggy.
If you haven't seen this show before, you're missing out.
Posted by Stephan (Member # 7549) on :
I really believe if someone had killed Hitler, someone else may have risen doing the exact same things. Society in Germany at the time was almost predestined to have someone of that type rise up. I would rather kill the fools who imposed so many hardships on Germany after WWI.
Posted by Destineer (Member # 821) on :
quote:In my office, a bunch of grad students in history have sat around pondering this question. They have decided not to go with dictators--I think the list is something like J.J. Rousseau, Michel Foucault, Juergen Habermas.
Got something against continental philosophers?
Posted by sarcare (Member # 8736) on :
Since Habermas is still alive, I'm thinking that particular day's discussion was about who they would abort in the womb. And I remembered the other person--Paul of Tarsus. Well to mention Foucault, is to drop the f-bomb, and Habermas and or public sphere is equally irritating.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
I'm not convenced killing anyone in the past.. even someone as awful as hitler.. would make the world *TODAY* a better place...
But if I was convenced of that, I would gleefully put a bullet in that man's noggin' long before he managed to do it himself.
Pix
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
"IT WAS ME!! I WAS THE TURKEY ALLLLL ALONG!!!" -If you havent seen invader zim than this won't make sense.
I would kill no body because every person has such a huge ripple affect that we can have no idea what would happen. As to Hitler, without world war II a great many good things would not exist today. Not saying I like the guy but just that we must take the good with the bad. Like without WWII the USSR would have invaded, Red Alert anyone?
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
POST 666 aaaaaa!!! I must make this post to make it so that i have 667 posts!!!AAAAA!
Posted by Stone_Wolf_ (Member # 8299) on :
Walt Disney.
Posted by Raventhief (Member # 9002) on :
My opinion on time travel: You can't change history because anything you try to do in the past already happened. So if I go back in time to kill my grandfather, I will fail because the attempt was already made and if it had worked then the attempt couldn't have been made.
That being said, I'd probably kill Britney Spears or Paris Hilton. No major effect on the timeline (that I can tell) and they irritate the hell out of me.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
OO! Good Idea Raventhief!
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
quote:That being said, I'd probably kill Britney Spears or Paris Hilton. No major effect on the timeline (that I can tell) and they irritate the hell out of me.
You can do that now...
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
But the damange is done, Kat.
My one regret about losing Paris Hilton from the Time Line would be the loss of the South Park she featured in. With the reprise of the Lemmiwinks song.
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
Some of the damage is done. I'm sure Paris Hilton will inflict much more before she dies.
What if she breeds?
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
I'm sure she has a subscription to Planned Parenthood. "Abortion of The Month Club"
...
::stops now before she ventures further into bad taste.::
Posted by pfresh85 (Member # 8085) on :
quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: As long as you don't kill your father.
Unless you are your own father (or in the case of Fry from Futurama, your own grandfather). Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
The very first flu virus.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Mao I hate that guy Hate him so much. he was a terrible, deplorable person... Killing him would save a lot of lives, but If I killed him, then I'd be like him, so prehaps I wouldn't kill him then he'd just have be tortured and I'd just get born again or something... Or perhaps a parodox would cause me to explode.
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
quote:Killing him would save a lot of lives, but If I killed him, then I'd be like him
I disagree with this idea fundamentally. Go ahead and kill him. You'd be saving lives.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
That's the same reason he killed, or so he claimed at least.
I'm inclined to believe it's hard to predict the rare cases when killing would actually save lives, even with 20/20 hindsight.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
But to a much grander scale.
While the Ends do not Justify the Means, neither do the Means Justify the Ends. There's a sliding scale in there somewhere and where one draws the line is where we get debate and discussion.
That's what makes shows like 24 so interesting. Jack does horrible horrible things to prevent even more horrible things.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
quote:The British.
You want to kill an entire nationality of people?
Also: Why? Or are you joking (hyperliteral person speaking)?
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
I'd go after whoever is the originator of that most acursed book (the Holy Bible), and show him what kind of damage his book will cause to the world. Before I killed him and destroyed all his records. Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
To look at the bible and only see the harm it has done is just as myopic as looking at the bible and only seeing the good that it's done.
It's just not that bad, Advent...
Atheist Pix
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
Fine then, I wouldn't kill him. But I would force him to watch reruns of televangelists for all eternity.
That way if he can learn how twisted his writings became.
And if Jesus was real then I'd appologize for the fact that many in the future believed that he was white. Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
Oh and its good to know that I'm not the only Atheist here on Hatrack.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I wouldn't even say that you are the athiest. There is at least one 'racker that I can think of who is athier than thou.
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
Who, and the better question... is it a girl?
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
Killing Mao depends on what time, Chinawould be in far worse straights now if you killed him before 1949, between 1954-1968 would in theory be the only period inwhich it would be a good idea, but would killing him before the Cultural Revolution accomplish much? Would it instead cause the One China Policy to have never have happened leaving millions of relatively well to do Chinese people in abject poverty? Be careful who you choose for it will have advserse consquences and I'm not saying this because of my own bias, I very well know about his mistaken policies during and after the Great Leap and how I wish some of them could have been prevented but China as it is today is thanks to him and to the other higher ups plus the wills of some 600,000,000 Chinese in the 1937-1978 period, after which economics took its turn.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
quote:Originally posted by Teshi:
quote:The British.
You want to kill an entire nationality of people?
Also: Why? Or are you joking (hyperliteral person speaking)?
I'm not a fan of genocide, of course I'm kidding.
In reality, I have a lot of problems with the British, but mostly I'm annoyed with the fact that they played Cartographer in the Middle East and now the US gets blamed for all the problems over there when we try to fix Britain's messes.
They form an oppressive Empire, but 50 years after it dies everyone thinks they are the cat's meow. America forms no empire and frees all of western Europe and 50 years later everyone hates us with a fury.
They annoy me.
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
And they have bad teeth.
Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :
I think this is, hands down and without a doubt, the *strangest* Hatrack thread I have ever stumbled into.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Less bloodthirsty question: whose life would you go back and save?
Considering just America (because otherwise I can't narrow it down enough to pick one) I'd start with Lincoln. If Reconstruction could have been done without the vindictiveness and more attention paid to actually protecting and helping the freed slaves, this could be a very different country.
I'm not sure he could have pulled it off, though.
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
If I could pick someone from China it would be Sun Tzu, how wrote the Art of War. I would save him from his torture by his enemies.
His mind would be worshiped and invaluable to the world.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Dagonee -
The Kennedys.
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
I would not rescue anyone for the same reasons that i would not kill anyone. The effects would be so enormous and unseen as to change the world as we know it.
Posted by Reticulum (Member # 8776) on :
I would kill you Orange. Simply because I don't like the color blue... or wait a second...
Posted by 0range7Penguin (Member # 7337) on :
I am invincible. Did i forget to mention that earlier.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Whoever was behind burning the library at Alexandria.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: Dagonee -
The Kennedys.
What's the expected outcome that makes this the best choice? (Oh, and you have to pick just one. )
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Whoever was behind burning the library at Alexandria.
Good one!
Edit: It's still a good one. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
(please note editorial and typographical changes... it isn't absolutely certian that an army burned it...)
It may have been Julius Caesar, but likely only indirectly...
AJ
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
I would save Mozart. There are other classical composers I liked better (Bach springs to mind) but Bach had a full life and wrote more music than I can comprehend... Mozart is the epitomy of lost potential. All that he did and he died younger than I am today...
Dag: I'm not sure I would save Lincoln. I think a lot of the reason that so much of his reconstruction policies made it into law was in remberance of him. If he were still alive, his enemies would have fought him tooth and nail to make sure the South suffered for being so uppity.
Pix
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Einstien: Me id kill hitler.
Your id kills Hitler? Freud would be impressed. Einstein, unfortunately, is not.
That's amazing. I love how the minds at Hatrack work
quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: The British.
AFTER America was already created.
But think about their accents and funny hats! You can't kill the British. Plus, if you killed them, then we wouldn't have comedic genuis such as Dame Edna and Eddie Izzard.
As for me, I think I would have to go with Hitller. Although it is possible that someone else could have risen through the ranks, I think that Hitler did it with a flair that we could have done without.
[ January 31, 2006, 04:44 PM: Message edited by: Evie3217 ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Oh come now... at least go for Stalin instead of Hitler.
Or I'd save Archduke Ferdinand, even if he was just a casus beli
AJ
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
If he was fat he'd be a Casus Belly
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
quote:They annoy me.
I wouldn't usually get into this, and I really don't want to cause a firestorm, but I'm sitting here and asking myself if I can let this go by and the answer keeps coming back as 'no'. I realise you were semi-joking but your answer about why seemed sincere, so I'm going from there.
So, and you realise you're taking me away from the West Wing to do this.
First of all, and most obviously, it's very foolish of you to blame a nation for the crimes of its leaders, especially those who were born nearly a hundred years ago. I don't think anything else needs to be said on that point, and you must understand that.
quote:mostly I'm annoyed with the fact that they played Cartographer in the Middle East
First of all, see above. Second of all, I don't think many people in the world, including the British, think that dividing any area arbitrarily- be it the Middle East, parts of Europe, Africa, Asia, Oceania, Antarctica or North America, all of which have had claims made at some point over their landscape by an outside power- is a good thing. In fact, most countries try not to do it at all costs.
When the Sykes-Picot Agreement was signed it was signed secretly and to keep western power in the Middle East. I believe Italy got a part too. It was a terrible idea, an agreement made in the middle of a war, for goodness' sake...
Not to excuse it by any means, but when you're loosing thousands of men every day in a trench war and you have no idea even if you're going to win and you have a mad general...
When you're on the way down, a lot of bad stuff happens. You get desperate. See the Suez Crisis for more "stupid last resorts".
And it undermined what T.E. Lawrence had been doing the whole time, too.
quote:and now the US gets blamed for all the problems over there when we try to fix Britain's messes.
I wouldn't say that the U.S. is being blamed for the messes in the Middle East. Yes, many people are saying that the U.S. shouldn't have gone in, but I don't think that the U.S. is being caused the root of the problems very much if at all.
Also, please do not forget that the British also have troops in Iraq.
quote:They form an oppressive Empire, but 50 years after it dies everyone thinks they are the cat's meow.
I don't think "everyone" thinks that the oppressive Empire is the cats meow. I think the people you mean like the percieved romantic and extensive history of the country, some of the culture and the accents.
quote:America forms no empire and frees all of western Europe
I'm know Western Europe is very grateful. But see below.
quote:and 50 years later everyone hates us with a fury.
"Everyone" hates a winner. After Pax Americana falls, "everyone" will love the U.S. and hate whoever's next .
The dominant power is always disliked simply because it's the dominant power and no one can really do anything about it but nuture a vague dislike which can be focused either way (like/dislike) by an event.
But America and Americans are not universally hated in Europe, not any more than the reverse is true. The two continents, the two countries, England and America, are so incredibly different, of course there are going to be tensions. Heck, there's tension between Canada and America!
Anyway. There you have it.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
Actually it was his Sun who got his feet cut off me thinks.
Posted by estavares (Member # 7170) on :
This reminds me of that story I read once where a guy was sent back in time to kill Hitler before he came to power, but since the assassin would have such information as to make him dangerous, then another assassin was sent to kill HIM, and another to kill HIM, and another, and another, and another...
For me, I'd bump off Mr. Floyd Abernathy, Jr. from Conifer Junction, Idaho who lived in 1891.
I don't know who he is, but he...must...be...STOPPED!
Posted by estavares (Member # 7170) on :
Oh, and what would I save?
I think maybe my dignity. I lost him back in 1985, I think. Maybe it was 1986.
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Edited on account of it probably being unnecessarily inflammatory.
[ January 31, 2006, 06:59 PM: Message edited by: Bob the Lawyer ]
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
That is why I would save Sun Tzu and make him my military advisor.
That way he would be indebted to me Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by BannaOj: Whoever was behind burning the library at Alexandria.
quote:Originally posted by airmanfour: You don't mean McCarthy do you?
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by BannaOj: Whoever was behind burning the library at Alexandria.
Probably some dude with some WAY overdue library fines.
Posted by Stone_Wolf_ (Member # 8299) on :
Eddie Izzard is the man! If for no other reason, spair the Britts!
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
Cortez.
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
*pounds podium* That quote was taken out of context! I protest.
Posted by Celaeno (Member # 8562) on :
quote:Originally posted by sarcare: Since Habermas is still alive, I'm thinking that particular day's discussion was about who they would abort in the womb. And I remembered the other person--Paul of Tarsus. Well to mention Foucault, is to drop the f-bomb, and Habermas and or public sphere is equally irritating.
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I actually snorted in laughter several times. Thank you.
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