Walking away from it, I was awestruck at one of the dumbest lines I've ever heard on a movie. As Mr. Fantastic pulled out a ring for his honey, he said
quote:I found a broken gasket from space.
Whence These Flowers?
I could spend a page talking about the many layers of stupidity contained within this line. If Bach had written a fuge of stupidity, it might have looked something like this.
Anyway, I digress. What are some lines that have blown you away through their sheer mind-numbing dumbness?
Posted by Vadon (Member # 4561) on :
quote:Storm: Do you know what happens to a Toad when struck by lightning?... The same as anything else.
X-men.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
"Your Honor, my client would like to withdraw his plea of not guilty and enter a plea of guilty."
The Untouchables.
Al Capone is standing right there saying he doesn't want to do that.
A great movie ruined by the stupidity in the trial. Switching juries in the middle of the evidence. Sheesh.
The jury switch happened before the trial started. A great little story from legal history ruined by idiots.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I've never gotten around to watching The Untouchables yet.
*heads off to Netflix*
Vadon -- that truly was an awful line. Good job.
Posted by Bella Bee (Member # 7027) on :
quote: 'There's a lot of space out there to get lost in'
Dr. Robinson - Lost in Space. I hate that movie so much.
Also, the 'corset' line from Pirates of the Caribbean. It's impossible to hear that line and not wince.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
Star wars episode II.
The bits between the opening credits and the closing credits.
Posted by Bella Bee (Member # 7027) on :
Scy, so true. I saw it on my birthday, and have never laughed so much at a tragedy in all my life. Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like you. You're everything soft. And smooth."
That Anakin is a PIMP, I tell you. No wonder Padme threw herself at him in her bondage corset dress thing.
I know if any guy came up to me with that line, I'd marry him in a heartbeat.
-pH
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
In Ep III, isn't there some line whre Anakin says that Padame is really pretty in the dark?
Bella Bee -- Maybe I'm missing something, but that line from LiS doesn't seem so bad.
Also, I don't know the corset line you are talking about.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
She said something along the lines of, "Try wearing a corset" before she sa-wacked some guy.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
You know, the corset line in PotC might've been amusing on a first hearing if it hadn't been played ad nauseum in the trailers.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
The pirate says something about inflicting pain on Will and she says "you like pain? Try wearing a corset." Then she thwaps him.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
quote:All of my life I have lived by a code and the code is simple: honor the gods, love your woman and defend your country.
*dead silence*
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
quote:Originally posted by pH: "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like you. You're everything soft. And smooth."
That Anakin is a PIMP, I tell you. No wonder Padme threw herself at him in her bondage corset dress thing.
I know if any guy came up to me with that line, I'd marry him in a heartbeat.
-pH
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like you. You're everything soft. And smooth pH."
-Advent Posted by theamazeeaz (Member # 6970) on :
I truly.... (Audience waits for Padme to say madly, thank goodness she doesn't) .... deeply ..... love you.
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
Pretty much every line in 'Must Love Dogs'. That movie was more painful for me than Troy was for Teshi. *grin*
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
The like ends with "Not like here, here everything is soft, and smooth" at which point he leers at her.
"Anakin, you're breaking my heart" is the only line that really stuck out as so stupid as to be deadly to all that hear it in Ep III.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
*swoon*
I thought all of the "romantic" dialogue in Episode II was awkward and forced. I believed they were in love in Episode III, but that "You're breaking my heart" scene made me cringe.
-pH
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
Every one liner the Governator has ever had.
"You're fired."
-True Lies, right before he shoots the missile with bad guy attached.
"Cool off."
-True Lies, right before he slams bad guy's head into toilet.
etc.
Posted by Earendil18 (Member # 3180) on :
I'm not sure if this is bad dialogue per se, but that bit in Episode I, where everybody's sitting around the table in Anakin's hovel(sp?) and Anakin retorts Liam Neeson with:
"I think you HAVE. Why else would you be here?"
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
o_O
You guys have no sense of humor.
quote:"You're fired."
-True Lies, right before he shoots the missile with bad guy attached.
"Cool off."
-True Lies, right before he slams bad guy's head into toilet.
Dude... those were hilarious. They were the governator making fun of himself! They were meant to be over the top! All of True Lies was.
quote: quote:Storm: Do you know what happens to a Toad when struck by lightning?... The same as anything else.
X-men.
I happened to like that line. It got a chuckle from me.
And the corset line wasn't that bad.
None of those lines are supposed to be serious. They're all supposed to be Super/action hero banter type silly. They aren't supposed to be meaningful or anything, just to go with the action and draw a chuckle.
The others mentioned here were definately terrible though.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Dude... those were hilarious. They were the governator making fun of himself! They were meant to be over the top! All of True Lies was.
You give it way too much credit.
Posted by Scythrop (Member # 5731) on :
There's a very funny send up of the Star Wars ep 2 screenplay somewhere on the internet. (I'll try and find it and put up a link, though I'm pretty sure it's alreay been posted to the 'Rack previously. In any case, the line from the parody which summed it all up for me was:
Anakin: Padme, I love you as much as it is possible for a lover to love the one he loves.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by erosomniac: Every one liner the Governator has ever had.
"You're fired."
-True Lies, right before he shoots the missile with bad guy attached.
"Cool off."
-True Lies, right before he slams bad guy's head into toilet.
etc.
"I let him go."
-Commando, after he drops a guy off a cliff and his unwilling sidekick asks what he did to him.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
"That's the beauty of it. It doesn't do anything."
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I like Anakin's line to Padme. Heaven help me, I thought it was sweet.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
quote:Originally posted by starLisa: I let him go."
-Commando, after he drops a guy off a cliff and his unwilling sidekick asks what he did to him.
Well, if we're going to quote Commando:
Matrix: "Let off some steam, Bennett."
-After shoving a pipe through the bad guy into a steam vent or something. Classic line. Always makes me laugh.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
It doesn't take any skill to create a bad line based on a pun.
It takes a true artisan to create an awful, painful line that doesn't resort to such tactics.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
quote:Originally posted by katharina: I like Anakin's line to Padme. Heaven help me, I thought it was sweet.
Which line? There were a couple of lines in EpIII that made me, "Awww." But Episode II? No thanks, Mr. Creepy Stalker Man.
-pH
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The one about the sand. I'm a sucker for flattery, and that it was so awkward made it seem more sincere.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
See, the awkwardness just made me cringe. Awkwardness is only cute when like, you've just started dating, and you're trying to decide if you should hold hands in public or something.
-pH
Posted by Ophelia (Member # 653) on :
From Pumpkin:
quote:But I must leave the lambchops, and Pumpkin, whose trust I betrayed.
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
"You want me. I can tell when a woman wants me."
Richard Gere- First Knight
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
SW:Ep 1
"You're a funny little boy..."
"I'm a person and my name is Anakin!"
"I'm sorry. This is a strange place and I don't fully understand things here." -Anakin and Padme
"Maxi big the force. Well that smells stinkowitch." -Jar Jar Binks- ??????huh? Pretty much anything coming out of Jar Jar's mouth is lame.
Posted by IanO (Member # 186) on :
"But Mr. Nigma, if you can use your device to put things in the mind, what would stop you from taking things out as well?"
Val Kilmer to Jim Carrey, Batman Forever.
The utter stupidity of that line is mind-boggling.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
I should really start calling things "maxi big."
-pH
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve:
quote:Originally posted by starLisa: I let him go."
-Commando, after he drops a guy off a cliff and his unwilling sidekick asks what he did to him.
Well, if we're going to quote Commando:
Matrix: "Let off some steam, Bennett."
-After shoving a pipe through the bad guy into a steam vent or something. Classic line. Always makes me laugh.
Is it sad that I really like that movie? I'd forgotten all about it when there was a thread going about favorite bad movies.
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
quote:Originally posted by pH: *swoon*
I thought all of the "romantic" dialogue in Episode II was awkward and forced. I believed they were in love in Episode III, but that "You're breaking my heart" scene made me cringe.
-pH
*rougish grin* Well its good to know that my charms are so effective. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Beastmaster III (or maybe it was two)--where they travel to moder Earth.
The Beastmaster--Betray us witch and I shall cleave your busom in twain.
Witch--Why does everyone want to cleave my busom in twain. I think it cleaves well enough on its own.
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
Both Spiderman movies, and Star Wars' I-III. All of them.
Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
This was from a soap opera I don't know which one.
quote:Mom: Ryan is coming to live with us and that's final. little boy: But mom, he killed a man! Mom: It's not polite to keep bringing that up.
Posted by Beanny (Member # 7109) on :
Harry Potter and the GoB:
"It's all going to change now." Thinks...smiles..."yeah"
Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
Oh, that drove me crazy. I loved the rest of it, but what a lame way to end the movie. And why on earth would that thought make you smile? How did they try to make THAT line a "happy ending"?
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
quote:I truly.... (Audience waits for Padme to say madly, thank goodness she doesn't) .... deeply ..... love you.
You totally stole mine!! That's honestly the first one I thought of and it remains one of the most badly written and most badly delivered lines in the history of filmdom. *shudder*
Isn't it amazing how many of these come from the prequels of Star Wars? Ewan McGregor had to deliver some doozies throughout...and he didn't always do it well. *shudders again*
Posted by Puppy (Member # 6721) on :
Every use of the word "chromosomes" in Mission to Mars Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
What a terrible movie. I mourn the presence of Gary Senise in that movie. Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
quote:Originally posted by starLisa: Is it sad that I really like that movie? I'd forgotten all about it when there was a thread going about favorite bad movies.
Not sad at all. That's a perennial favourite amoung my friends on our "Movie we can make fun of but still enjoy" nights.
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
"Yipee!" -- Anakin in ep I.
Who, over the age of four, has ever actually said that about anything?
--j_k
Posted by Irregardless (Member # 8529) on :
Man, I was just about to post about 'Yippee' -- as in, Anakin actually pronounces the word 'yippee.' It's about as jarring and artificial as literally saying "ha ha ha" when you laugh.
Posted by Puppy (Member # 6721) on :
quote:What a terrible movie. I mourn the presence of Gary Senise in that movie.
I more mourn the presence of that movie on Gary Sinise Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by Puppy: Every use of the word "chromosomes" in Mission to Mars
Oh, gosh. I've spent so long trying to forget that movie, and there you go making me remember it again.
The worst line from that movie was at the end when they have the touchy-feely alien family reunion, and one of the astronauts says something like, "We're them. They're us." *barf*
Posted by SC Carver (Member # 8173) on :
I get Mission to Mars and Red planet mixed up. Both were incredibly bad.
Posted by Stone_Wolf_ (Member # 8299) on :
I can't believe no one has mentioned this -gem- from ep III...
Anakin: You are so... beautiful. Amidala: It's only because I'm so in love. Anakin: No, it's because I'm so in love with you.
No, I love you more, no I love you more, no I love you more, no I love you more, please, shoot me in the back of the head so that last thing that passes through my mind is not "no I love you more" and is instead a bullet!
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
From Troy: Paris: Father, you are a great king, because you love your country so much. Every blade of grass, every grain of sand, every rock in the river... You love all of Troy. That is the way I love Helen.
Helen: This is all my fault. (Yes! YES IT IS!)
Posted by Mr.Gumby (Member # 6303) on :
Darth Vader: nnnNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo
Posted by Orincoro (Member # 8854) on :
The Patriot:
"Kill me before the war is over will you? Well it appears that you are not the better man"
--the most useless line in a movie of useless lines, but tied with this one
"Gabriel said when the war was over we could be a whole new world...we just thought we'de get started right here, with your new house..."
----Obviously the script writer beleived that there would be no actual picture of the house in progress, this was to be a radio play, everything had to be said aloud.
edit: Another over-written scene in the Patriot:
White Guy: "Its august now... Your Free" Black Guy: (Glances into the distance) "I know, I'm here now on my own accord" White Guy: "Im honored, HONORED, to serve with you."
This scene would have worked better with one line:
"Its august"
the rest could have been accomplished in 3 seconds of body language... but NOOOO
Posted by jin977 (Member # 8752) on :
I second all those who have quoted Star Wars Ep I-III.
How about:
"Jake, we'd love for you to play the role of Anakin Skywalker."
- Casting director for SW Ep I, to Jake Lloyd.
And then there's:
"CUT, that was great, everyone!"
- George Lucas to his actors in each scene of Ep I-III.
Ok, that was a bit harsh. There were some good scenes in each flick. Darth Maul, anyone? But I just can't get Darth Vader's heart-wrenching "NNNOOOOO" out of my head long enough to give any examples.
![[Monkeys]](graemlins/monkeys.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)