- Cheney once closed down an orphanage and sold the children to a chinese sweatshop. Then he took the money and bought a new shotgun (AT WALMART!) to take quail hunting.
- Cheney is actually thousands of years old. It wasn't Caiaphas that pushed for Jesus's crucifixion, it was Cheney.
- Cheney's maiden name is Haliburton.
- Cheney doesn't really have a heart condition because he has no heart.
- Cheney once ran for the post of "The Devil" but Satan won because he's nicer.
What are some of your Cheney TRUE FACTS?
[ February 16, 2006, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: The Pixiest ]
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
- Cheney's natural habitats include under your bed and in your closet.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
- Cheney is actually the Loch Ness monster; all he wants is your tree-fitty.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Cheney shot the sherrif, but he did not shoot no deputy.
Posted by Chreese Sroup (Member # 8248) on :
Are these good facts, or true facts?
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
His campaign slogan was "Dick Cheney and he'll Dick you."
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
All true facts about Cheney are good.
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
In his native tounge, Dick Cheney's real name means "Son of Reathlor, devourer of fragile dreams".
Dick Cheney is too pretty to go to jail.
The only thing keeping Dick Cheney from leading a violent coup against President Bush is a generous supply of bubble wrap, which, in the White House, is now known as "National Security Tension Sheets". The bubble wrap supply is watched over by one air traffic controller and the guy who used to head the surveillance of Russia's nuclear missiles.
Given the slightest provocation, Dick Cheney would kick you in the nuts. Failing that, he'd task the Secret Service to do it for him.
Despite what you might think, Dick Cheney's favorite quote is not "Badges...We don't need no stinkin' badges." It's actually "Baby, you're the greatest." from The Honeymooners.
Dick Cheney knows a very dirty joke whose punchline centers around something being sequestered in a undisclosed location.
Dick Cheney has an inexplicable hatred for the state of Wisconsin and wants everyone to know that those *$%#^^s deserve what's coming to them.
Posted by Heffaji (Member # 3669) on :
Dick Cheney would rather be on Conan O' Brien's Secrets segment.
Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
Dick Cheney has the only copies of books 2 and 3 of the Mayflower Trilogy. He takes sadistic glee in knowing that no one else will ever get to read them.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by MrSquicky: Dick Cheney knows a very dirty joke whose punchline centers around something being sequestered in a undisclosed location.
Good one!
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
quote: - Cheney is actually the Loch Ness monster; all he wants is your tree-fitty.
Winner. Posted by Anti-Chris (Member # 4452) on :
Dick Cheney haunts Freddy Kruegers nightmares.
When Dick Cheney is in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!
Most of revelations is based upon Dick Cheneys fantasies.
Dick Cheney knows 10 different ways to kill you with a spork.
Dick Cheney dresses up as Pharoah behind closed doors.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
See adam - that is one of the lesser known TRUE FACTS!
Dick Cheney's favorite TV show is South Park.
Posted by plaid (Member # 2393) on :
RUN! The police have traced the location of Cheney's phone calls -- they're coming from inside your house!! Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
That doesn't make Cheney any more dangerous. Cheney goes where he wants, when he wants.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
- Eric Cartman is based off the Real Life Misadventures of Dick Cheney.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Eric Cartman respects Cheney's authoritay.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
(Good one Dag =)
- Dick Cheney once decided to rope off Oklahoma and put all the gays and communists there. But backed down when he remembered there was oil there.
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
Who wins in a fight, Dick Cheney or Chuck Norris?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Chuck Norris and Dick Cheney would never fight - it would be too much awesome to behold.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
When Dick Cheney, Chuck Norris, and Vin Diesel combine their powers, they can defeat Captain Planet.
-pH
Posted by Little_Doctor (Member # 6635) on :
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
Chuck > Dick
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Dick Cheney is a complicated man, and no one understands him but his woman.
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
this thread wins the funny for today.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dagonee: Chuck Norris and Dick Cheney would never fight - it would be too much awesome to behold.
Like Behemoth vs. Leviathan?
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Cheney knows that creationism is true because he was watching from the bowels of hell when it happened.
Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
quote: Who wins in a fight, Dick Cheney or Chuck Norris?
I tried it Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
Cheney's favorite pizza topping is another entire pizza.
Cheney's ancestors shortened their last name when they moved to the USA from the old country. It was previously "Chenesaurus Rex"
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
One time, some fool communist tried to kick Cheney in the nuts. What he didn't know, is that Cheney's little boys are made of such dense brass that they actually create tears in space & time and they sucked the commie scum into the seventh level of hell.
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
Dick Cheney's family crest is a great white shark biting off Godzilla's head.
Dick Cheney is so much man, even his daughter likes chicks.
Dick Cheney thinks that Jack Nickleson is a sissy and doesn't care who knows it. In fact, he put it on all his stationary.
Because of this, he won't respond to someone saying "I want the truth." with "You can't handle the truth!", but if you say "Tell me why." he'll say "I don't like mondays."
In the same vein, Dick Cheney's social security number is 008675309. That wasn't the one he started out with, but it became his, in accordance with a little know subsection of the Social Security Act, when he ate the original number holder.
Dick Cheney is only fluent in English, but he can tell someone to go frack themselves in every living language and 12 dead ones.
Dick Cheney worries that people are forgetting the real meaning of Arbor Day: killing dirty, stinking commies.
In situations of grave peril, Dick Cheney has developed the ability to mentally dominate his subordinates and force them to throw themselves at the danger. He can also extrude copious quanities of ink as a distraction technique.
If you look into a mirror in a dark room and say "Dick Cheney" three times, FEMA will knock your house down.
Dick Cheney's shadow weighs 5 and 1/2 pounds.
[ February 17, 2006, 12:59 AM: Message edited by: MrSquicky ]
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
It was the progressive Dick Cheney that persuaded the FBI to start using black highlighters on all classified documents viewed by the public.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
If Dick Cheney tells you to go frack yourself, you best do it before he does.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
quote: If you look into a mirror in a dark room and say "Dick Cheney" three times, FEMA will knock your house down.
Best ever.
-pH
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
This thread is great! I needed a laugh.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
Tante, That's one of the advantages to using an English verb as an alias. The other is covering up a staggering lack of creativity.
-A statue of Cheney was observed to weep human tears for 63 hours in 1987. Witnesses were later found to have a roughly 75% increased chance of heart disease.
-Silly Dick Cheney! Tricks are for Karl Rove.
-Who knows? Cheney knows.
Edited for grammar.
Posted by Silkie (Member # 8853) on :
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