Hatrack River Forum: Jack Bauer TRUE FACTS

This is topic Jack Bauer TRUE FACTS in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
http://www.hatrack.com/ubb/main/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=041538

Posted by docmagik (Member # 1131) on :

It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Then you are so screwed.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the only reason Santa Claus is able to deliver presents to millions of children in a 24-hour period.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

The links.

(Some language/strong content)

Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :

Who the hell is Jack Bauer?!

Posted by docmagik (Member # 1131) on :

Advent, the only reason you're conscious right now is that Jack Bauer doesn’t want to carry you.

Posted by Bella Bee (Member # 7027) on :

Jack Bauer is The Man.

Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :

Is he Eddie Bauer's brother?

Posted by Earendil18 (Member # 3180) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Advent 115:
Who the hell is Jack Bauer?!

He's the one that invented Keifer Sutherland right?

Posted by Earendil18 (Member # 3180) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Advent 115:
Who the hell is Jack Bauer?!

He's the one that invented Keifer Sutherland right?

Posted by clod (Member # 9084) on :

no, that was clod.

Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :

I LOVE this one.

quote:
Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team.

Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :

If this guy is so threatening then why haven't I heard of this, (sarcastic tone) Superman.

But I bet you Jet Li of Chuck Noris could kick his ass. [Evil]

Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :

By far the best:

quote:
If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

(Advent, take note [Big Grin]

)

Posted by Earendil18 (Member # 3180) on :

I'd thwap Advent up the head for not being "up" on it all, but seeing how I'm still catching up from '01... [Big Grin]

Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :

quote:
But I bet you Jet Li of Chuck Noris could kick his ass.

Wrong.

quote:
Chuck is sidestepping his way across the floor of the warehouse, attention drawn straight ahead. As he is making slow deliberate steps, he mistakenly kicks a loose metal pipe that is lying on the floor. It echoes throughout the warehouse and exposes his presence. Jack trains his cameras on Chuck and triangulates his exact location.

Using a small shaped charge, Jack blows a hole in the duct he is hiding in and drops through the ceiling suspended by a single rope.

Chuck dives for cover.

The two both start shooting at each other. Chuck is using a revolver and somehow manages to get 35 rounds off. Jack returns fire, and after running out of rounds throws his weapon away and pulls out a back up and continues to shoot.

After some time both come the realization that bullets have no affect on either of them.

Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :

quote:
Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

I loved that [Evil Laugh]

one!

Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :

quote:

What should I do if Jack Bauer or Chuck Norris is upset with me?
The only option is to kill yourself and hope that Jack or Chuck lets you into Heaven.

Posted by Stone_Wolf_ (Member # 8299) on :

quote:
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

LoL

Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Stone_Wolf_:

quote:
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
LoL

No, that makes him dead you idiot. [Evil]

Posted by Little_Doctor (Member # 6635) on :

No...He's been dead before. Multiple times actually.

Posted by Kent (Member # 7850) on :

I went to the link and actually had tears running down my face I laughed so hard.

Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :

OK, we have back to back episodes tonight. Does that mean it starts an hour earlier or lasts an hour later?

It says 8/7c, but I always get confused if the 8 or the 7 is central time. I live in Mountain Time and 24 normally starts at 8.

Grr..frustration. Can anyone help?

Posted by Jeesh (Member # 9163) on :

Hmm, hand to hand combat.

Bauer vs. Norris

Who wins?

Posted by sweetbaboo (Member # 8845) on :

lem, I lived in the central time zone and I know that MST is an hour earlier. So wouldn't that mean that it would be 8 c and 7 mst?

Of course THAT logic is completely opposite of what I always thought, which is that 8/7c meant that 7 was central.

My vote is to look on line at the 24 website.

Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :

quote:
My vote is to look on line at the 24 website.

I did, and it said 8/7c. [Grumble]