My step-daughter is reading the Ender and Shadow series. When she read Ender's Game for the second time she wrote this poem (probably while she should have been paying attention in class) but I think it's pretty good. Would you indulge me as I post it and brag on my teenage step-daughter?
Six year old walks home from school the Third and last of his siblings More brilliant than is dreamable But can he still the fools?
As the world disinigrates Just like back home, Trouble here too working hardest at the games
It's not really a game It's not all just pretend Who will be left standing When the world crashes to end?
Graffted into battle, School is unimportant More important are the games The games of the little.
It's not really a game It's not all just pretend Who will be left standing When the world crashes to end?
Back home as was written "From the mouths of babies" The world unaware Locke-ed to views Of the one who is ten.
Older now, and wiser The Dragon rears its head And when the Dragon battles the Salamander Whose fire will lie ahead?
It's not really a game It's not all just pretend Who will be left standing When the world crashes to end?
An Army made Most soldiers don't know Beans The rules change And the rope finally ends
Flat raft on the bowl of a lake Wieghtless in the water Like home in space Valentine's Day came far too late.
It's not really a game It's not all just pretend Who will be left standing When the world crashes to end?
As old and new collide Teacher leads through a maze of games As student is slowly lost Equally matched for the first time
The friends have met again Older now, and wiser still They are still the best at playing the games
As the game is played It gives way to broken minds and bloody hands But the games are won and that's all that ever matters
The final test and it's all over One last game of games As the child wins his last The adults cry for joy.
And it wasn't a game. The pilots were real, and the enemy died and with the games came peace
Colonies of ants are invaded And living away from earth A voice is found For those who were voiceless
It's not really a game It's not all just pretend Who will be left standing When the world crashes to Ender?
Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
I think its quite good.
Posted by CRash (Member # 7754) on :
I really like this poem.
Posted by Advent 115 (Member # 8914) on :
That is pretty cool.
Posted by aretee (Member # 1743) on :
My favorite part is when she wrote "Grafted into battle." You know, that's just pretty witty. I teach kids who are older than she is and they're not that witty.
Am I biased? Just a little, right?
Posted by aretee (Member # 1743) on :
*Shameless bump at the request of the step child*
Posted by Dasa (Member # 8968) on :
quote:Originally posted by aretee: My favorite part is when she wrote "Grafted into battle." You know, that's just pretty witty. I teach kids who are older than she is and they're not that witty.
Am I biased? Just a little, right?
I thought it was pretty neat too I thought initially that it was the standard teenage spelling thing Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
"Graffted into battle" was what I was going to point to.
I like how the sounds are echoed again later in the stanza with the raft, too.
And, overall, I'm just impressed. Please tell this person to keep writing!
Posted by aiua (Member # 7825) on :
On that note, the line "Teacher leads through a maze of games", was maze used on purpose, as in Mazer? In which case, I'd capitalize it. Great work! Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
<-- thumbs up
Posted by aretee (Member # 1743) on :
Yes, Maze should capitilzed, Aiua.
Thank you guys for the feedback. She just went schreeching from the room with delight.
She's 14 and too chicken to post it herself. I hope the feedback keeps her writing.
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
That's very cool.
--j_k
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Posted by Geekazoid99 (Member # 8254) on :
Nice i think thats i great poem like the name hiding cool
Posted by aretee (Member # 1743) on :
one more bump and then I'll let it die.
Really, thank you for the input. Even suggestions would help
Posted by String (Member # 6435) on :
Very nice poem. post more? Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Oh! Email it to Mr. Card! Then you can take the poem and his reply email and put it in your scrapbook. And if you don't have a scrapbook, you can start a scrapbook for the occasion. And fill it up with all the rest of your, uh, scraps.
Posted by aretee (Member # 1743) on :
Does he really want freaky fan stalkers emailing him their kids' poems? Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Suuuuure he does!
Email isn't actually all that obtrusive. If he's not delighted, he can always hit "Delete". It's not like you are breaking into his house past midnight and spray painting the poem on his living room walls.
'Cause THAT would be a freaky stalkerish thing to do.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
quote:Does he really want freaky fan stalkers emailing him their kids' poems?
I bet he wouldn't mind... as long at they aren't actually stalking him. Posted by aretee (Member # 1743) on :
I did follow him around the country for about a year. I went to his writing seminar, then to Endercon (when's the next one anyway?), then to a book signing I had to drive and hour and a half to get to. Then, while standing in line, I answered all the questions that people in line were asking as they wondered aloud. They all looked at me very strangely as I knew all the answers. They even told him as we got to the front of the line that they didn't have any questions because I had answered them all. He looked at me and I shrugged and said "Hatrack."
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I thought initially that it was the standard teenage spelling thing ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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<-- thumbs up
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