Many of you may have heard me talk about my cat Drive By, whom I found as a kitten nine years ago immediately after someone had hit her on the highway on the way to work one morning. She was flopping in and out of traffic, and I stopped and scooped her up, and took her to the vet.
It turned out she was a feral kitten, very like a zoo animal or wild animal in personality. Dr. George, Maggie Dix, and I all nursed her back to health. It was a close thing but she pulled through and has been the greatest cat I've ever known. She totally accepts me as another cat, and as her mom, though she tends to be quite shy of other humans. She recovered completely except for the fact that her left front paw got some nerve damage, so she has always walked on the wrist on that paw. It never has slowed her down any, and she is quite deft at manipulating it into place by swinging it from the shoulder joint. She tucks it behind her neatly before she eats, and so on.
The guys I worked with at the time, and my mother, were all eye-rolly telling me I should not spend huge sums to save some stray kitten's life but just destroy her and get a healthy kitten from the shelter. Maggie, Dr. G, and I disagreed. I'm sure another kitten would be very nice, but she would not be Drive By. There's a fundamental difference in view here. To some of us, cats are people. They're not fungible. They are individuals
If I ever had any doubts about that, it's been confirmed beyond my wildest dreams. Drive By is the most loving, intelligent, vocal, sweet, playful, and dearest cat that I've ever had. I've never regretted for a moment the worry and tender care and expense of getting her well. She's a small siamese type kitty only all black rather than with points. She likes to nuzzle and lick the ones she loves (Brando and me) and is playful, bossy, and just so intelligent and alive. She likes to sing along with music, and I have several recordings of her duets with Trent Reznor, Maynard James Keenan, and others, and of her singing solo with violin quartet accompaniment. As an all-black cat with a limp, Drive By seems to bear out the folk wisdom that she should be a powerfully magical being. Certainly she has greatly blessed my life.
Now she's got something wrong with her that has her not wanting to eat. Dr. George has run blood tests and examined her several times but we can't seem to find anything wrong to treat. She's supposed to go in for x-rays, in the last hope that we can find something wrong that we can fix, but unless that turns up something, or she just begins eating again on her own, or we decide to force feed her, or something changes, then her prospects don't look good. She's lost so much weight that her bones almost poke through her skin.
Would those of you who pray please pray for my dear, beloved, smart, wonderful Drive By? She's only nine! I don't want to lose her yet. If she has to go, I will try to understand, but please pray that she will stay with me for a long while yet.
[ March 28, 2006, 09:01 AM: Message edited by: Tatiana ]
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
My tabby is experiencing similar issues. It's heartbreaking. I hope the news is good.
Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
I'll send some good thoughts her way, and yours. She sounds like a wonderful creature, I'm glad you made the effort to save her so you could share her life.
Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :
Awww. Sounds like a great friend. She'll be in my thoughts.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Prayers for Drive By and calaban's tabby.
My parents had a cat who went through some hiding, non-eating behaviors. The vet couldn't find anything wrong at first, but eventually discovered it was a bowel obstruction. She had to have surgery, which was really pricey but they opted to do it because she'd been pretty healthy up to that point, and she is thriving now (although will be taking a stool softener daily for the rest of her life).
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
~~~~~~~~Drive By & calaban's cat
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I'm sure that there's almost no point in asking, Tatiana, because I'm sure you've tried it, but have you offered her tuna, ham, chicken, milk, and the like?
Edit--what kinds of tests has Dr. George already performed?
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I've offered her every tempting treat we know of. Dr. George suggested this Royal Red Sockeye Salmon, which she ate with enthusiasm in very small amounts, for a few days. Then she ate less, then none.
This morning she's licked just a bit at the juice on her food a few times. I think it shows a small improvement. I'm home for the rest of the day, thank goodness, so I can offer her fresh treats every hour or so and see how much I can get her to take. Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers, everyone! I believe in the power of hatrack prayers!
He did a complete blood workup, fecal, and about six weeks ago we sedated her so we could do a really thorough palpation and exam. Like a zoo animal, she's usually too recalcitrant to allow us to do too much without sedating her. I was terrified at that time because it took her almost 24 hours to come out of the sedation, when it should have only been a couple of hours. I was afraid her liver functions were compromised or something like that, but the tests showed liver, kidneys, blood cells, everything looked good.
Another thing that's been happening for a long time is that she vomits clear pinkish liquid every few days. The thing that started this particular downturn is that she got a sinus infection and had to take antibiotic pills. That seemed to exacerbate whatever gastrointestinal problem she has so that she vomited more often, and it was pinker than usually, and contained flecks of bright red blood (like clots). We know she has inflammatory bowel disease, which we are treating with a long-acting steroid shot every six weeks or so, and it seems upon palpation to be much better now.
We took her off the oral antibiotic and gave her a long acting antibiotic injection instead. Then Dr. George was concerned that she was getting too high a bacterial load by eating canned food that had been sitting out too long, and told me to take up the food after no more than 30 minutes. (She also has dry food available, which she used to enjoy before all this started happening.)
I think whenever she goes too long without eating it tends to kick her nausea in. That (and the fresh blood in the vomit the other day) is why I'm thinking in terms of something upper-GI now. Dr. George said the diagnostic procedures for that are stuff like endoscopy and barium contrast studies and stuff that she won't tolerate well, being as fragile as she is, and as easily stressed by stuff like that. I agree completely with him on that. I think he suspects something upper-GI too but he knows that he doesn't have any good way to treat it, even if we could get a sure diagnosis.
I think that the more often she eats, the better off she feels (she's very thin now). I am going to ask Dr. George today if there is anything like a proton pump inhibitor (is that the right term?) that we could give her to eliminate stomach acid. That's what the doctor gave me for my Barrett's esophagus (which had similar symptoms to Drive By's) and it totally fixed it in a few weeks.
She also has asthma, which we treat by inhalation of FloVent about once a week or so whenever her breathing looks bad. She's got a little kitty aerosol chamber with kitty face mask that I use to administer it to her. Her asthma seems to be in good control.
Other symptoms which have showed up recently which may have nothing to do with the failure to eat are hair loss and a skin sore that appeared from nowhere above and behind her left shoulder blade. Her hair loss started a few months ago, and now her belly is completely bare. Dr. George thinks it's from an excess of cortisol, which can be from stress, or perhaps a side effect of the FloVent. I began waiting longer between FloVent treatments to see if that helped.
[ March 28, 2006, 12:16 PM: Message edited by: Tatiana ]
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
My sympathies.
I figured that you'd have already offered her everything under the sun to get her to eat, but I thought I'd mention it on the off chance that you hadn't.
Are there feline GI specialists that might be able to help?
Is Pepsid AC safe for cats? I know that Frida (a ferret) was on miniscule doses of it for a while due to some stomach problems she was having.
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
kitties are so sad when they can't eat, Kit is the name of my tabby, he is 15. He vomits all the time as well.
All of his bloodwork, xrays and physical tests have had inconclusive results. Both vets we have been to have only specualted at what the issue might be.
We give him tuna juice all the time so that he is drinking something that might give him nutrients. We have also fed him baby food so that some of it might absorb before he has to vomit again. Perhaps you might try the baby food. Kit has also developed a sinus issue, which we have speculated is related to the appetite because he can't smell the food.
We have also been given an IV of saline and vitamins to give him daily. He is a little grumpy when we give it to him but it has helped him go from a very anemic 5 pounds back to 6 over the last couple of weeks. His normal weight was probably about 8 to 9 pounds.
Hopefully some of our experiments in feeding will help you. Kit is an insatiable begger, so I often pretend his food is something tasty I don't want to give to him, and sometimes he will eat a little bit of it.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
calaban, good luck with your Kit, as well! I will include him in my prayers.
I just talked to Dr. George again and he said the upper-GI symptoms are usually a side-effect of the lower-GI inflammatory bowel disease. They get upper GI erosions and ulcers and stuff associated with the inflammatory processes. He said instead of proton-pump inhibitors they usually give cats (something else that I can't remember the name of), and that was a possibility we could pursue. He suggested that I get some feline A/D and try to force feed her today with a feeding syringe, and get as much of that down her as I can, so that she will be in better shape metabolically tomorrow for the sedation and x-rays.
I'm so glad I'm off for the rest of the day so I can nurse her like this.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I have Ringer's lactated IV fluids I can give her subcutaneously, as well. Dr. George taught me how to do that with Brando. That works really well.
Another symptom she has is that the hair never grew back on the spot he shaved her six weeks ago to take blood. He said that usually indicates something endocrine going on. Her thyroid is fine, but if it's something going on with the adrenal gland, there's no way we can treat it.
Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
Kim and I are both praying for her.
She is a truly wonderful cat, very cute, and kind. Also she is quite protective of her mother (Tatiana). We both hope she will be okay.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Oh, sweetheart. My heart just dropped when I read the title of the thread.
I don't pray, but I'll try, anyway. Maybe rusty ones have concentrated power. *wry grin
All the best thoughts and wishes I have winging toward you and your baby girl.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thanks, Grisha and Kim! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Thank you, CT! Rusty ones are extra potent!
Thanks to everyone else, as well! I know hatrack's prayers are heard and felt.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
(*trying very hard, right now
I'm asking for good health physically, but if that is not in her future,at least some measure of understanding of the pain and a deep conviction of your love. I think the hardest part about animals or babies hurting is that they don't have a sense of why.
(((Tatiana))) )
Posted by amira tharani (Member # 182) on :
*sends good thoughts to Anne Kate and Drive By*
My mental image of you is always accompanied by Drive By sitting on your monitor and dangling her paw over the screen. May she do so for many years to come!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
SHE'S EATING!!!!!!
thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyougod
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Oh, thank goodness!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
That's great news, Tatiana!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Fancy Feast Marinated Morsels are teh r0xx0rz!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Now if we can just find something fixable tomorrow on the x-rays and additional blood tests. <hopes>
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Hope the news is good.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
I wish I could write more just now. Tatiana, your love for Drive By came through so much in your post that I was tearing up.
I'm glad to know that she's eating now. I'll continue to send good vibes your way in hopes that she fully recovers and starts getting her weight back.
~~~Drive By~~~
Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :
Yay, Tat!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
When will you get the results of the bloodwork back, do you know? Let us know what you find with both the x-rays and the blood tests.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
calaban, how is your Kit doing?
Drive By went for x-rays today and they showed that she does indeed have a very inflamed bowel, as he thought from palpation. He will call tomorrow about the blood tests, but for now what he thinks (and he's very good at this guessing what's wrong business) is that she has Cushing's disease, on top of her asthma and inflammatory bowel disease. That can be caused by tumors in the adrenal gland or somewhere else (didn't absorb fully everything he said), or it might possibly be something we induced by giving her steroids for both her asthma and her inflammatory bowel disease.
We can't give her any more steroids at all. We will have to see if it's possible to treat her other two life-threatening things successfully without them.
For the moment, though, she's in crisis because of not eating. He said (which I already knew) that she has used up all her fat and most of the muscle in her body (she's skin and bones) and that she's got to have food. He gave her fluids today but starting tomorrow morning I'm supposed to force feed her with a syringe, as much of the feline A/D food mixed with water as I can get her to take.
If she comes out of this metabolic crisis in the next few days and begins eating again, then it's possible that we can successfully treat the asthma and bowels without steroids. Then if the Cushing's is something we've induced (instead of it being due to a tumor), she might make it through.
It seems like a slim chance, and she's a very sick kitty still, but there is that one ray of hope left. If I don't manage to save her, I'm going to have a lot of making up to do in the next world for pestering her and forcing her to eat these last few days of her life. I hope that she will forgive me for it.
I thought about it a long time today, after Dr. George called me. I was sitting in the cafe of the art museum downtown, eating a delicious quiche, watching the sunlight play on the waters of the art-fountains across the concourse, and looking at the beautiful art all around me, and I realized that life is indeed good. Every moment of it is precious. I realized that Drive By loves life, and she loves me too. I think she would want to be alive and with me for a while longer, if that's possible. I think she would forgive me for trying, and for not being able to let her go without a fight.
Thank you all for listening, and for caring. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. They mean a lot to me.
[ March 29, 2006, 09:35 PM: Message edited by: Tatiana ]
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
*hug* I've been thinking of and praying for you and DriveBy and calaban and Kit.
It has always been so hard for me when one of my kitties was not doing well. I hope that things will go as well as possible and I hope you and your kitties can be content and at peace.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*hugs* I hope everything is okay, Tatiana.
Posted by Jeni (Member # 1454) on :
My vet has told me before that he believes cats know when they need help and understand when you're trying to give it to them. I bet that's true of Drive By and I think he's very lucky to have found someone who's willing to help him. Many hopeful thoughts are coming your way, Anne Kate.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thanks, guys. I'll continue to post updates on how she's doing here.
Dr. George used about half as much sedative this time, so she was already awake and aware when I picked her up at 2pm. Since then she has eaten twice on her own without me having to force feed her. He wants me to get her some Tagamet at the drugstore and give her 1/4 tablet each evening starting tonight.
She's still a bit drunk, but doing really well compared to last time. The fluids he gave her helped, I think. Last time it was when I gave her fluids that she came out of it. She's sleeping peacefully now in what looks like a comfortable position. I'm just going to continue to put fresh food down for her every hour or so to see how much she will eat on her own.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
That's really great, Tatiana. I'll be continuing to think of her.
Posted by Epictetus (Member # 6235) on :
*hugs* I hope Drive By gets well.
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
Drive By = Best Name Ever. I shall pray for her and I hope she recovers. Have you tried to show her some really really rediculously good smelling and good tasting food that no other cat would dare to resist?
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
*fingers crossed and rusty prayers squeaking on out
How is this morning going? How is Drive By, and how are you?
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Altariel, yes I've got an array of everything any cat could possibly want to eat! The other cats are so happy because they're getting all the leftovers.
CT, the quandary I have this morning is that she's eating tiny amounts on her own every hour or so, but I don't think it's enough. Should I force feed? This may be likely to have her hiding in the closet, sitting on a cold hard shelf instead of her warm soft bed with heating pad, and it might be likely to decrease her willingness to come out and eat on her own. It also might save her life. She's making a real effort, and comes over and eats as much as she can each time I put fresh food down, and sometimes in between. There's the possibility that with force feeding she will begin vomiting, which right now she's not doing.
So.... force feed or not force feed?
When I force fed Brando it turned out to be a great thing to have done, but he wasn't eating at all, and was almost out of his head, so that he didn't really come to himself until I'd been feeding him for a couple of days. She's not to that point yet. I wish I knew the right thing to do. Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
If you can figure out how much she's eating, approximately, maybe you can figure out if she's eating enough. I mean, I don't know how much you'd force feed her, but is it possible that she's already eating that amount on her own?
-pH
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
Maybe, rather than force feeding just yet, you could put down less food more frequently. It's possible that she would finish what you put down if she thinks that's all there is, then eat more next time you put some down.
It's just an idea, but I agree that if she's eating something, especially if that something is more than she was eating previously, it might be premature to force-feed and have to deal with the trauma it will cause.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
What Karl said.
Especially if force-feeding might make her vomit; she might be afraid to eat again.
-pH
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
She's still eating fairly well, perhaps a teaspoon every couple of hours, so I'm not force feeding her yet but just putting fresh interesting food in front of her every hour or so to try to get her interested.
She's curling up with her head resting on my arm and purring. My poor little girl!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I gave her 1/4 of a Tagamet tablet tonight, according to Dr. George's instructions. I hope it helps her GI tract to feel better. She's still eating on her own. I bought a large variety of Fancy Feast flavors, which seems to be every cat's favorite food ever. Right now she's having the Marinated bits of Salmon in Gravy. She seems to think it r0xx0rz.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I have to go back to work tomorrow, though I'm going to get up early and feed her twice before I leave, come home during lunch and feed her again then, then I should be able to get in three feedings after work before bedtime. That's six times a day so hopefully that will be enough. Then we have the weekend. Maybe she will have pulled out of it by Monday, well enough that I can leave her all day long. It takes half an hour each way from home to work and back, so I will have to take a long lunch to make it, but I can make it up by staying later.
My boss was so great about it! I called today to take my one personal day that I have so far, and he said I should stay home and take care of my child, and that if I needed to stay tomorrow as well, then I could make it up later. What a great guy! Posted by Eduardo_Sauron (Member # 5827) on :
You're lucky, Tat. Not all bosses are so great.
Side note: Me and Isabel are thinking of adoptinig a Persian cat for our household, next year. I luuuuve cats. Maybe you could help me clearing some doubts, later.
Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
I'm feeding my foster mama cat the Wellness brand of canned food. The stuff actually smells appetizing to me, which is not a word I thought I'd ever use regarding canned cat food--it smells pretty much like human-quality canned chicken or tuna.
I'm glad your boss is so understanding, Tatiana. I'm lucky I have a lot of flex in my schedule; that came in handy when I was up till 3 a.m. supervising momcat's labor and delivery, and again when I had to take the five-day-old kittens to the vet for a sinus infection.
Still sending good thoughts for the both of you.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tatiana: I bought a large variety of Fancy Feast flavors, which seems to be every cat's favorite food ever. Right now she's having the Marinated bits of Salmon in Gravy. She seems to think it r0xx0rz.
*nods
Fancy feast = "kitty crack," according to our veterinarian
I'm so glad she is continuing to do well. Tatiana, I'm on a long two-day drive up to Canada for the weekend, but I'll keep checking in to see how you and she are doing.
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Tatiana, I'm glad Drive By is doing better (and I agree - that's a great name!). I've had sick kitty worries before as well, and it wasn't any fun at all.
calaban, any news on your kitty?
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thanks, everyone. Dr. George got the results back on the blood tests today and he said they look terrible. He said that her immune system is pretty much totally shut down and that he can see the bad effects of her not eating.
He said it doesn't look good for her.
In the meantime, she's eating very well. I went to work today but I got up at 4am and fed her once (though she had already eaten some of what was there from last night by then). She ate some of that and then I fed her again at 6am before I left. When I came home from lunch she had eaten almost 1/3 of a can of the stuff I gave her at 6! So I fed her again and again when I got home from work this evening she had eaten quite a bit of what I gave her at lunch.
I fed her as soon as I got home, and she's been eating it every few minutes since then, and has eaten about 1 ounce in 2 hours. Also she seemed perkier this morning, head butting me and purring, hopping down to go to the bathroom, and licking herself all over. Just generally acting less sick. I think Dr. George didn't expect her to recover this well, based on her blood results, but I think it is another miracle, of which he's been responsible for quite a number since I've been going to him.
Now he wants me to give her amoxicillin drops orally, as a prophylactic measure, because her immune system is not working. Remembering that it was the oral antibiotics we gave her a few weeks ago for the sinus infection that sent her into the tailspin, I am reluctant. I picked them up from the vet's office, but I'm hesitating about giving her any unless I see a sign that it's needed.
He also left me a message for me to force feed her by syringe, 1 can of feline A/D cat food a day, but I think as long as she's eating so well, I don't want to interefere. I really hate not doing what Dr. George says, since he's so good and so smart and such a wonderful vet. So I called and left him messages about all this stuff but I haven't heard back from him. I think he's sick too now. His health isn't that great. So I don't think I'll hear back until Tuesday. In the meantime I do believe I will just pray and follow what seems the best course. Y'all tell me if I'm making a mistake.
I'm so so happy she's better! The thing I'm most worried about now is that her breathing will get worse and worse, and since we can't treat it with steroids anymore, I don't really know what to do in that event. I left Dr. George two messages asking him but I don't think he responded to that question yet. I think he's probably thinking she's in serious enough shape that we may not have to worry about that.
calaban, let us know how your Kit is doing! I am keeping him in my prayers. Thanks so much, everyone, for keeping Drive By in yours.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
CT, Dr. George called Fancy Feast "kitty cocaine", so the idea has some currency.
Have a good trip and drive safely!
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Well, of course I can't say whether you're doing the right thing, but I think I'd do the same thing in that situation. Keep us posted.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
This morning, she ate at 5am, at 8am, and at 11am. I really think she's getting enough nutrition in, and I hope it's being absorbed well, despite the terrible bowel inflammation that showed up on the x-ray. She isn't vomiting or having any diarrhea, so I suppose it must be going somewhere.
She hasn't touched what I gave her at 1pm, yet. I think I will go ahead and replace it with something else (maybe more appetizing) before I go out for a bit. She does seem to be feeling much better overall. I think the prayers and good-wishes are working.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I'm glad she's eating, Tatiana. I'll be continuing to think of her. You wouldn't happen to have any pictures of her posted anywhere, would you?
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I have many pictures of her! I will post some now and link you. That's a great idea!
Here is a small one that I have used as an avatar. The problem with recent Drive By pics (taken on my cell phone camera) is that she pretty much shows up as a black hole in those. I have some earlier ones that I took on Bernard's real camera, though.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
About the title : Perhaps you'd better not tell the cat it's being prayed for, that apparently makes things worse.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
KoM, go away from this thread, please.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
She's a cutie. I'm glad Drive By doing better and I hope she defies the doctors diagnosis.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Alas, the pictures don't convey her cuteness very well, because she is leery of anything unusual, including cameras. So mostly her expression says "What the...? Keep that thing away from me!" when you take her picture.
Alas, last night she had diarrhea (first time in her life) and lost her appetite. She barely ate from the last feeding I gave her before bedtime. Now this morning she hasn't shown any interest at all in the first feeding of the day. I'm going to give her another hour or so, and at that point I'll have to decide whether to start forcing it down her.
calaban, how is Kit?
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
Kit is very lethargic. Because I live in a canyon, he is a kitty that has been used to going outside. It was a rare week that we didn't find some half eaten morsel of a mouse or bird left on our doorstep for sharing. Now all he has the energy to do is sit on the porch in the sun.
We are giving him eye drops and antibiotics for his sinus cold, and continue to hydrate him with an IV. When he eats he vomits within a few hours.
It seems like the only time he has some fight in him is when we try and give him his medication. But as long as he has that fight I'm of the opinion he wants to stick around for a while.
The diagnosis is implied cancer of the lymph nodes, because there is no specific growth, nothing wrong with him except an inability to keep the little food he eats down, and a skewed red blood to white blood cell count.
Realistically, we will most likely have to make a decision to euthanise him at some point. I fear that most of the things were doing now are just to extend his life more or less unaturally.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I hope that Kit becomes able to eat, soon, and that his body conquers the cancer. I agree that the fight means they still want to live.
Drive By began eating again this morning, though a bit less than yesterday. She quit having the diarrhea, so I hope what she does eat is being absorbed. She still seems to be acting fairly normally, if not very active. But she's licking herself, purring and head-bumping me, and jumping down to go to the bathroom whenever she needs to. I put her food right up beside where she usually lies, so as to tempt her to eat as much as possible, and she's still going over and eating it every little while. So I still have hope that there's a chance she's going to be able to recover, but we shall see. It depends on a number of things over which we have little control. At least I'm not going to give up on her too early.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
This afternoon, she's had more diarrhea, and her appetite seems to have left her, so it's not looking too good now. Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
Tatiana, cherish every moment you have with her, she's lived a long happy life thanks to you.
The tips of her ears are curling forward. I've never seen that before. I wonder what it means.
She perked up and ate a good bit tonight, so I'm not giving up on her yet. Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
yay!
Posted by BGgurl (Member # 8541) on :
Wow, she has some very expressive eyes.
Prayers for her Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thanks, everyone! She's rallied again last night and this morning. Her appetite came back and she ate almost a whole 3 oz. can of catfood since 1 am, and so far it's stayed down. I gave her another one of a similar type this morning, so let's hope she keeps on the mend.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
BGurl, she's got the crossed eye that is genetically prevalent among Siamese type cats. That and the crooked paw, and the fact that she's all black, must contribute to her magicalness.
As you can see from the pictures, she also has the wedge shaped head, the small, lithe body, and the short hair. Her voice is like a Siamese as well. If Siamese in general are as lively, affectionate, intelligent, and bossy as her, then I can understand why they are so popular. She has so much personality! She's just a delight to have around. Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
She seems like such a great cat, Tatiana; you can see that she's brimming with personality in those pictures. There is something about the shape of her head that makes me think of meerkats, somehow.
I'm continuing to think about her.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thanks, Noemon! She had diarrhea again tonight. I fed her some of the A/D catfood which is supposed to be really easy on their stomachs, and she seemed hungry for it despite the diarrhea. She's got to absorb this food, though, and not just eat it. She's not out of the woods yet.
Dr. George comes back tomorrow from being gone. I wonder if he can suggest something to help the diarrhea.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Dr. George and I exchanged lengthy messages today and I wanted to share something he said.
He said it's quite remarkable how well she is doing, and there is no medical reason for her to be doing as well as she is.
I didn't explain that all our hatrack prayers and well-wishes are the reason, but I expect that's what it is. Thanks again to everyone for listening, for caring, and for your thoughts and prayers. They make a real difference. I know they do for me, and I believe they do for her as well.
Her appetite remains strong. Dr. George explained better to me why we need to give her amoxicillan, so I'm going to attempt that today. Wish me luck! I have to squirt two droppersful of this pink bubblegum tasting stuff (that cats loathe) down her throat and get her to swallow it. I expect we will manage to get most of it all over ourselves instead, and lose much of the goodwill and rapport that we currently have. But he convinced me that it's important so I suppose I'll try. Wish me luck! Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
Good luck! Drive By sounds like a wonderful cat, I hope she pulls through this and you have many more wonderful years together.
I had to give amoxycillin to my foster kittens when they were only five days old, for a sinus infection. I expect that was much easier than a full-grown cat would have been, since they were too little to bite or scratch. Their mama wasn't too happy with me though, since three times a day I'd barge in there and make her babies cry (they start squalling whenever they're separated from the kitten pile for more than a second or two). But the last dose was on Saturday morning, so I hope they've all forgiven me now.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Good luck. That feeding cats medicine thing is definitely a learned art. My mother is really good at it; she has learned to get pills and liquid medicine down a cat without getting bitten or scratched or having it spit back out. Although sometimes when the cat fights her, it swallows down air or else the liquid goes down the wrong pipe and there's a lot of coughing or burping for a while.
Every time I see her do it, I think "I could never do that." So good for you for trying, and let us know how it goes!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
First dose went down far too easily! Either she's lost some of her spunk or else I took her by surprise. I bet she gets less cooperative as time goes by, before hopefully settling down to accepting it. I'm supposed to keep it up for at least three weeks and possibly six. So I suppose we'll have time to get good at it, both of us!
Uprooted, I believe what you say about the learned art. It's learned both by the cat and the human, I think. Kitty had to take a pill every day of her life, after age 12, and it was totally no big deal for either of us for most of that time (she lived to be 20). I would show her the pill and say "open" with my hands on either side of her mouth, then when she was ready she would open and I would pop it in and she'd swallow it. Brando, too, got really good at taking pills. Drive By hasn't had to yet, and she's particularly wild and stubborn, but I have no doubt that we can learn to get good at it in time. Posted by Grisha (Member # 6871) on :
I'm so glad to see she is doing well. She is still in my prayers, my mom even asks me occassionally how she's doing (though mom usually says Drive Thru).
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Drive Thru Tell your mom thanks for thinking of her! Your mother is so nice.
Grisha, she's doing much better, but she seems to have lost her excellent appetite she had for a while. This morning for first breakfast (we're on hobbit mealnames now) she barely touched her food. Similarly for the last four meals (supper, tea, dinner, and elevenses) yesterday.
On the other hand, she's perkier and more energetic than she has been. Right now she's drinking water, which is great but she should be eating first breakfast too.
[ April 06, 2006, 06:05 AM: Message edited by: Tatiana ]
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I wonder if the amoxicillan is what killed her appetite. Her loss of appetite seems to coincide pretty well with when I started giving her the amoxidrops. Dr. George seems sure that it should help the diarrhea instead of making things worse (and she hasn't had any diarrhea in a bit) but I know when I take oral antibiotics I usually get tummy upset.
Dr. George is so good, his impressions are probably far more accurate than mine, and he's treated a lot more very sick kitties than I have. On the other hand, I get exposed to more of the raw data (in the form of watching her day to day, interacting with her, etc.)
My feeling is that I need to trust him, contrary to what my own instincts are telling me. Decisions like this are so hard, when you know that the consequences of making less than optimum choices will likely mean she won't make it. I pray for guidance, for myself, Dr. George, and Drive By.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
She didn't have much appetite all day long. Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Anne Kate, It seems like a really good possibility that the amoxicillan killed her appetite. I would ask Dr. George about this specifically. Tell him that as soon as you restarted the anti-biotics, Drive By stopped eating again.
It's possible that the antibiotics are wiping out her healthy intestinal bacteria. I know this happens with humans. With human people, eating yogurt can help but I have know idea if cats have acidophillis as part of their healthy bacteria. They could, considering how much they like milk.
Maybe if you could coax her into eating some plain yogurt it would help.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Buttermilk with live cultures can work too if Drive By doesn't like yogurt.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Okay, I will ask him.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I skipped her dose last night, and her appetite had returned this morning. Dr. George convinced me that we need to be giving her something, though. So I'll try it again. He did say that her eating is more important than anything right now, so that we will have to give her some antibiotics by injection if this amoxi becomes a problem.
She ate great this morning but now at lunchtime she isn't eating at all, and she looks like she feels worse too. Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Oh, Tatiana. Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I'm so sorry.
You've probably thought of this already, but have you asked Dr. George about a different antibiotic? Most of the antibiotics I've given my cats over the years have been that nasty bubblegum stuff, but last year when Bo had a tumor removed they had me give him an antibiotic that was not icky bubblegum antibiotic. I don't remember what kind it was (I'll see if I can find the paperwork from that surgery) but he took it without any problems!! I could give it to him by myself and didn't even need to hold him or pry his mouth open (he'd lick the dropper as I would slowly squeeze out the medicine for him).
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Hopefully she'll be back to where she was this morning soon. It'll probably help that you'll be home for the next few days, and will be able to devote more time to her (I know it would for Cat Friend, anyway, and she and Drive By seems to be fairly similar in temperament).
It's funny that Grisha's mom has a different name for her. My mom suggested Kitt'n Run as an alternate name, but hasn't taken to calling her that when she asks about her.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
ludosti, if you can find out the name of that antibiotic, I will ask Dr. George about it.
The amoxicillan is the bubblegum stuff. Apparently that flavor is something human children like, but cats seem to find it particularly vile.
I think part of the problem comes from the fact that I'm having to force it down her. Because she's such a wild child, this has a lot worse effect on her than it has on any of my other cats. To her it's sort of like mom turning into her enemy and violently assaulting her twice a day. The others were tame enough that they approached it sort of as a child would, as something unpleasant that mom makes us do. I think the spiritual boost of knowing mom loves you and is on your side (and I try like mad to be sure she realizes that between doses) is of similar importance to the physical boost of not having a staph infection. If we could find a way to get both boosts at once, this might make all the difference.
I want to thank you all again for caring and for listening. It gives both of us a lot of heart for the struggle, knowing you are rooting for us. <3 hatrack
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
The injection form of an antibiotic seems like an ideal solution.
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
Keep on, Keeping on Drive By!!!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Now she's off sitting in the niche of a cold hard bookshelf instead of on her warm comfortable bed. She went over there after I gave her her tonight's pill.
Please, God, tell her that I'm doing it to make her better! That I'm not wanting to scare or hurt her! Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Almost as soon as I posted that, she jumped down and came over and nuzzled me. I gave her the amoxicillan again just now, because Dr. George said her wound has some staph infection in it (the wound that appeared from nowhere on her side that will not heal) and that her immune system is shut down from malnutrition (or from the cushings, that wasn't clear).
And still last night and this morning she will not eat. She licked briefly at two spots on her food just now, probably getting less than 1cc. Just enough to determine the taste, actually. I may have to begin force feeding her today, if I judge that is the right thing to do.
I wish I knew the optimum thing to do.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
What a terribly difficult time for you,Tatiana. Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
CT, you know how it is. She's my baby and I don't want to lose her if I can help it.
This morning as I awoke I had a vision of a large white cat (like 2 1/2 feet tall) standing on the bed beside Drive By and me. It was not frightening or ominous. It was just standing there quietly, watching us with understanding and intelligence. Perhaps it's her guardian angel cat, here to look after her. Or maybe I've been reading too much magical realism.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
You know, if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have believed that I could learn to give and deal with giving daily insulin shots to my Minx. I was sure she'd never understand why I assaulted her and stuck pins in her, and it was agony to think of how I would let her down by not learning how to keep her alive.
Thank you very much for helping me. I think that if there is any great feline supernatural force, you are very beloved by it.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Yes, CT, we're stuck both ways. Either we betray them by assaulting them and forcing this medicine on them twice a day, or else we betray what we know to be true, by being too chicken to do what it takes to really help them. Either way it's hard to live with ourselves.
The first time I had to give a shot, my hands shook so hard and my knees got all weak and I had to go and lie down for an hour after I managed to do it. I was so scared! Luckily the cats learn and we learn and soon it's totally no big deal at all. Brando didn't even act like he felt the needle most of the time. I used those ultra fine needles. Later on when I took insulin myself for a couple of months, I found out it was true for me too that most of the time I couldn't even feel it. The insulin itself can make sore spots under your skin, especially if you don't vary up the injection site much, but the needle is so fine (and I got the finest ones they made) that you almost don't feel it a bit.
I'm so glad that eventually cats do understand that you're doing it because you love them, and they get used to it and accept it. Even Drive By.
I'm going to put some more food out for her right now. Pray for me that she feels hungry and eats some. Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
On the other hand, this time, with Drive By, it seems like we've done the wrong thing too often, or else the right things we did had bad side effects. She had to have steriods for both her asthma and for her inflammatory bowel, and that either induced the cushings, or made it worse. Of course, she most likely would have died without it, so there's no telling.
Then, because of the cushings, her wound healing subsystems and her immune system aren't effective. So our theory is that this wound in her side may have come from the time that I gave her subcutaneous fluids back 8 or 10 weeks ago. Dr. George said sometimes they get a small sore from it that goes away quickly, but in her case it's just getting worse and not healing. The reason I gave her fluids is that she wasn't coming out of the anaesthesia that we gave her so that Dr. George could draw blood and find out what was wrong with her. He ended up not finding anything, so that whole traumatic day for her was not helpful, and we put her through that for no reason.
Sometimes I wonder if my takeaway lesson from all this is supposed to be to leave them alone more. I just don't know.
She ate a little of that food, and I just gave her more but she hasn't touched the new stuff yet.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
One of the things I had to come to terms with in dealing with my mother's last months was that there was no "good" way to do it. That is, in that case, regardless of what I did, the outcome was going to be pretty bad. I did my best to pick better options rather than worse, of course, but the dread of the inevitably worse to come really sucked the soul out of me.
I think it must be how parents feel when their children get really sick. And she is as your child, so of course the helplessness aches.
Poor kitty. Poor Tatiana!
For what it's worth, my Minx also was quite blase about the shots. I'd distract her with some Fancy Feast and slide the ultrafine into her ruff. Not even a flinch! And we became much closer, as I wanted to be sure she didn't primarily associate my touch with bad things. We had a wonderful two extra years. Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Yes, you're right. There aren't necessarily any good choices. But circumstances have conspired to give me heart, whatever happens. I'll just do the best I can by her, and hope she will forgive me for my mistakes. She's such a dear cat!
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tatiana: He ended up not finding anything, so that whole traumatic day for her was not helpful, and we put her through that for no reason.
Not finding anything eliminated many possibilities like FIV and leukemia and other nasties. So I hope you can feel at ease about doing what was good for the kitty in spite of what is easy for the kitty.
I certainly hope her appetite has picked up today. Although he is eating a little more and is just a little more energetic, Kit is treading water still. He is not loosing weight anymore but my sisters grim speculation is literally has no more weight to loose.
Giving him medicine is heartbreaking. I have a hand that is continually scabbed up from his struggles and I always am afraid that his weak muscles will allow somthing to pop out of joint. I have also been afraid he will run from the mere sound of my footsteps because my busy schedule leads to some days interaction with him being only the "bad guy stuff."
Sometimes he just has this piteous "why me?" resigned look that just tears me up. However we believe he is not in any real pain, and he certainly enjoys our company. So I am glad we have the options to assist him to a little longer life.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Poor Kit! I'm glad he's hanging in there.
Drive By's appetite still isn't what it should be, but she's eating right now. There are a few flavors she seems to like best, so I'm just going to concentrate on those for her and see if she will eat enough of them to get by. Brando survived a similar crisis thanks to Sliced Tender Beef Feast, several years ago. Maybe Grilled Tender Beef Feast will save Drive By. She seems to like that one best.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Yay, Drive By!
Keep eating, honey.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I looked for my paperwork from Bo's last survery and couldn't find it. I can try calling my vet tomorrow to see if they still have the information and can tell me what antibiotic it was.
I know there are guardian cat angels. Sometimes I think they take the form of past pets. I am convinced that Maxx sent Bo to me (Maxx was put to sleep the week that I met Bo at my grandma's house). And I know that someone made Bo understand that he needed to leave his wounds from his 2 lumpectomies alone so I didn't have to collar him. How funny, he came to sit on my lap while I was typing this.
I'm still sending out healing thoughts for the poor struggling kitties.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Ok, the name of the antibiotic he was on is "Clavamox" (aka Augmentin). It looks like it can be used for anything amoxicillin is used for (it contains amoxicillin). I don't know if this info helps, but I hope so.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Yes it does, ludosti! Thank you!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
How is Drive By doing this morning?
For what it's worth, the clavulinic acid added to amoxicillin to make it augmentin is something that is often responsible for additional tummy upset and diarrhea. Just something else to take into account. Makes it more effective, but also can make for more or stronger gastrointestinal side effects.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Sorry I didn't see your question Tuesday, dear! She's been doing fairly well. Dr. George gave me some injectible antibiotics to give her one a day for five days. Her appetite came back about a day after the last Amoxicillan dose.
One encouraging thing is that her sore place on her side seems to be healing. Her breathing doesn't look great, and it's springtime so that's not good for asthma, but so far she's not had a breathing crisis. I'm supposed to treat her with the albuterol if that should happen. I hope it won't be necessary.
Today I got very afraid because at lunchtime I came home to feed her elevenses and one eye was dilated a whole lot more than the other. I spent the afternoon thinking that meant she wouldn't make it, but I left messages for Dr. George and he called me back and said it doesn't necessarily mean that at all, and I shouldn't lose hope. He said that they do that sometimes, and then they get better. So I'm going to give her the first shot (subcutaneously) tonight, so wish me luck.
Thanks for all your prayers. They mean a lot to us.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I've been calling our six meals breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, dinner, tea, and supper. Does anyone know if those are the right names for the six hobbit meals a day? Starting Monday I can't come home for elevenses so she will have to go from 6:30am to around 5 or 6 pm without any fresh canned food. I hope that doesn't cause a problem.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
It's just for the one day? I imagine that'll be okay.
Do you have an air purifier? When I'm in environments that typically bring on an asthma atack, a good air purifier can make a tremendous difference. Of course, if you were going to use one you'd have to confine her to whatever room you had it running in, which (depending on how active she's feeling) could be traumatic for her.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I do have an air purifier. I bought it when she was first diagnosed. I run it all the time, though I never noticed that it helped any. I do probably need to get a new filter for it, so I'm glad you brought that up. It certainly can't hurt.
I also have special super hypoallergenic fancy furnace filters that I use for the same reason. Again I'm not sure they make much difference if at all, but it was worth a try. I will change that filter out as well.
This morning she woke me up early because she was so hungry. I think the injection antibiotics are making her feel better. She ate a good bit of her breakfast, but didn't touch her second breakfast. Just now I put out dinner (we skipped elevenses today because I had to stay at work) and she ate a good bit of it as well. Hopefully she will continue to have a good appetite like this. If so, she might even pull through. Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Great! Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
That's so great to hear, Tatiana! Keep us posted.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
I'm glad she's feeling better.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Yikes! Last night she fought me really hard about getting her shot, and this morning there's a new sore place right where I gave her the shot! I can't seem to do anything for her that doesn't make her worse in some way!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Oh, no. Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
Hang in there Tatiana...
You're doing everything you can.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Now, understandably, she flinches from my touch. I feel so bad for her. It's not bad enough that she's desperately ill but now she's got an abusive mom as well to be terrified of.
[ April 15, 2006, 01:08 PM: Message edited by: Tatiana ]
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Do you think she'd have a flinch response if you were to go back to forcing pills? Might she take that better?
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I'm giving her 1/4 of a Tagamet tablet every evening, and it seems to be doing her good. She's accepting that pretty well and not freaking out too much about it. That is, she hisses at me but quickly forgives me. And it really does seem to improve how she's feeling.
The oral antibiotics seem to kill her appetite and make her G.I. tract feel worse. Dr. George thinks they aren't doing that, but from the start of this whole crisis for her, which seemed to have been brought on by some oral antibiotic pills we were giving her for sinus infection, to the difficulties with amoxidrops, that factor has seemed consistent. So I'm not feeling good about the possibility of getting any oral antibiotics to be helpful.
I think I must be administering the shots incorrectly somehow. Maybe I can learn how to do it right, and this problem won't happen. I don't know what to do in the meantime until she heals, though. Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
As for the flinch response, I'm trying to deal with that by doing a lot of nuzzling, which she likes. I think she's afraid of my hands right now, so I'm trying to keep reminding her that mama loves her by kissing and nuzzling her, while keeping my hands away. Maybe that will help some. I know that her cooperation and will to live are also required for her to heal. If she loses that, there's nothing Dr. George and I can possibly do to save her.
CT, you must be a strong, awesome, woman to deal with this sort of situation day in and day out for your job. I don't know how you do it. <<<<<<CT>>>>>> I can feel the strength flowing from you to me, during this process, because of your experience and calm and understanding. I can't thank you adequately for that, but I just wanted to tell you that you are awesome.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I wish I could make it better, Tatiana. I know you do, too. It would be so much easier (so much!) if we could just take the pills on our own or inject ourselves. This way, instead -- the coalition of the resistant and the unwilling -- is terribly cruel to everyone involved.
I really think that recognizing what a gift bearing witness could be was what kept me going through some very tough times. If you do nothing else for another in pain, at least you can be there and see it. That sounds kind of warped, I know, but in extremis it made sense to me.
There have been times when I was not able to bear witness, and I rue not having been strong enough. Thankfully, whichever way this thing turns for Drive By, she wasn't alone.
(((Tatiana)))
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I too believe in the importance of just being there, of being willing to stand by and hold someone's hand while they suffer, and not flinch from death, and from the pain and sorrow. To keep them company and show you love them no matter what they are going through. If I can do nothing else, I can at least do that.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Amen.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Today both her eyes are dilated. She's still eating well, though. I am keeping the room dark so the light won't hurt her eyes. I didn't give her the antibiotic last night because I don't want to make any more sores, and I don't know what it is I'm doing wrong. Her appetite was very good this morning at breakfast and second breakfast. She forgives me for hurting her.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
She likes to nuzzle still, eh? That's good. Nuzzle away. Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Dr. George said today that we should forget the antibiotics and just treat her with lots of love and food. He said there wasn't anything I did wrong, he doesn't think. (I disagree since his shots never do this and mine do.) She does seem to be doing best when I just feed and love her. We just have to hope her immune system can eliminate the staph that he knows is there. I'm not sure how he can tell it's there. Maybe just by looking at the wound.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I really, really, really am certain you have done nothing wrong, Tatiana.
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
Bruises and sores happen, Kit squirms like crazy when we try and hydrate him with the saline solution. He has been poked in the muscle a number of times. ouch. He acts all huffy but I think he knows why we are doing it.
On the upside he has been improving quite a bit, he is to the point that he can attempt to actively evade me when it's time for upleasant bits.
I wonder if DB was licking the area after you gave her the injections. I once got a pretty intense sore when a kitty licked a spot on my hand raw one day when I fell asleep on the couch. Mmm tuna fish sammich hands.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Yay, I'm so glad Kit is better!
Drive By seems a little better as well. I can gauge how skinny she is by how bumpy her back feels when I pet her, and tonight it seems a little bit less bumpy than it's been.
She seems to have eaten pretty well today too.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I'm afraid I'm losing her now. She didn't eat but just a few bites yesterday or today. Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Oh no.
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Ah, Tatiana, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope that she pulls out of this, but if she doesn't she's been as lucky to have you as a mom as you've been to have her.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Wow, tonight she just ate a lot! This is her appetite as it was a few days ago! Thanks again for all the good wishes and prayers. After 2 days with little to eat, she seemed to be weakening and zoning out, but now she's back again. I'm so happy! Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
Good to hear!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
It sounds like she is feeling well. That's great for both of you!
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
!
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
The back and forth of this must be exhausting for you, Tatiana.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
It does seem like it would be terribly stressful. I imagine that Tatiana sleeps more fitfully, too, from worrying about whether each new day will go up or down.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I expect so. Tatiana, I hope you're taking care of yourself as well as Drive By. Easier said than done, I know from experience, but still.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Yes, hopes rise and fall, but I hope I remain steady in giving her all the love and care I possibly can. But each time she rallies, I'm just delighted and grateful, and I don't care how long it will take if she only will get well.
I discovered that the 4am first breakfast is very important. I think because I felt more confident of her appetite I didn't get up for that one on the weekend, and that's maybe partly why her appetite died for the rest of the day both days. Now we don't miss the 4am feeding under any circumstances.
It does make it hard to get enough sleep, and my own blood sugar was way out of control when I checked it. I'm gradually bringing it back down now so I can stay healthy to take better care of her. The other two cats have been somewhat neglected recently, getting plenty of food and water but not much petting or attention. I hope they understand. Mama has to leave the nine and ninety sometimes for the sake of the one.
Today she had 4 or 5 sneezing fits while I've been here, so I'm thinking she has that sinus infection still. I wish I could give her antibiotics somehow to help her fight it off.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I think the sinus infection is impeding her sense of smell, so now she won't eat because she can't smell the food.
Time for some extremely aromatic food like salmon, I guess.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
She didn't eat any of the salmon. She ate very little today at all. Then she threw up. That doesn't seem good. Dr. George is coming tomorrow to visit.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
Kit has been intermittently struggling with having an appetite as well, I would suggest fancy feast for some reason that aroma has been more compelling to him than any other, and we have tried many many different brands. Kit has primarily been a dry cat food kitty, we have used friskies seafood flavor for years. I am beginning to suspect that he is having a reaction to the old stand by, maybe even related to food allergies. For his stuffy nose I have also been taking him into the bathroom as I shower in the morning for a steam treatment, as well as running hot water for the same purpose in the evening, it seems to help. He likes the heat as well. One morning last week I didn't bring him in the bathroom as I showered and when I finished he was waiting by the door quite annoyed that I had left him out.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Oh, calaban, I hope Kit's appetite gets stronger! Fancy Feast is a cornerstone of our meal plan here now, as she will eat that sometimes when she won't touch anything else. Another great one is Feline A/D, which you usually have to buy at a vet's office. It's the best for tummies that are upset, though there's only one flavor, so they don't get the variety they want. It's very soft and easy to eat. It's specifically designed to support sick cats.
The bathroom idea is a good one. That might help Drive By's sinuses and also her asthmatic lungs.
Dr. George could barely examine Drive By today. He said she was in no mood to be messed with, and he didn't want to manhandle her. He left me another antibiotic shot, which I'm afraid to give, because I don't give them right and it always makes sores when I do it. But her sinus infection is bad, and if it turned into pneumonia that would be the end of her, with her weak lungs. So what do I do?
He said as far as he could see her she did not look good. Which I already knew. So that was not a very productive visit.
On the up side, she ate a good deal of her teatime meal tonight.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Another update. She's been doing really well since my last post. Her appetite has been good and she hasn't vomited. Her sores are slowly healing, and she even seemed to be putting on a little weight, judging from how bumpy her back is when I pet her. (The bumps of her spine are very prominent now, and that's how I gauge her weight, by how much they stick out.)
Then I decided to see if she would be better off without her daily Tagamet. That seems to have been a mistake. About 4 days after I discontinued that, she woke up, ate a really good first breakfast, then threw it all back up and has barely eaten since. That was yesterday, and she threw up again this morning the little that she had eaten, I started her Tagamet back again yesterday, but still I can't coax her to eat anything.
Another thing that happened last night is this big raw red sore appeared on the right side of her face. It's obviously driving her nuts, because she scratches at it and rubs it with her paw constantly. I don't know how she got it. I guess it was itching her and she kept scratching at it.
I called Dr. George last night and this morning, and he said to give her 10mg of benadryl a day, and rub Cortisone cream on it. I'm mostly worried about her vomiting and appetite. I guess I won't try to discontinue that Tagamet again. It seems to keep the inflammation of her G.I. tract damped down.
I keep putting the food right under her nose, and before now, that has always tempted her to eat just a little, but now she turns away in disgust. I wish I could find some food that she just loved, or some other way to tempt her to eat.
I think the thing that's hardest for the caretakers is never knowing the right thing to do, and always suspecting everything you do is the exact wrong thing. :'( I wonder how Dr. George can stand that? Or how any doctors can? I've got to go out of town in early August. I pray that she's well enough by then to survive me being gone. I don't think Alysson can come over more often than three times a day to feed her.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Wow, it's been two months since I first realized she was life-threateningly ill. She's been doing better. The tagamet once a day was good for her tummy, and she quit vomiting and had a good appetite for a while. She put on some more weight. Then one day she got this weird reaction right after I gave her the pill. She gagged it up and began salivating, with foamy saliva dripping out of her mouth. I've seen that happen to cats before when you give them medicine. I believe it's a reaction they get to eating poison, to help them eliminate the poison from their mouths. So naturally I did not try to give her the pill again, but left her alone other than affection.
She continued to get the odd salivation reaction every half hour to hour that entire day from 7am to midnight. I called Dr. George and he said not to give the pill again. The next day, she had stopped salivating every hour, and she did fine for a few more days without the tagamet, but then she lost her appetite and started vomiting again. I was afraid that would happen.
Dr. George suggested I give 1/4 tablet of Zantac a day, which I started doing. I did that for about a week and her appetite was slowly returning. Today was the first day she really ate well again. Unfortunately, totally unassociated with the pill, she began salivating and foaming at the mouth again today, constantly. This time it's not episodic, it's like all the time. She's angry at me and scared about what's happening to her, so she's also growling and hiding. The saliva is pink, as though something is bleeding inside, and she's gagging sometimes too.
For the last week she's been acting like the right side of her face and mouth are hurting. The sore on the outside healed up, thanks to some cortisone cream that I rubbed into it. But I think there's something going on inside, because she makes a weird chewing from time to time that sounds just the way it sounds when she shears off pieces of meat with her side teeth. I hope she's not chewing on the inside of her mouth or something. And she cries like she's in pain. And she scratches at her face with her back paw, and rubs with her front paw.
I don't know what to do. I have about 4 calls in to Dr. George. I hope he will call me back with advice, but he doesn't work on the weekends. (Despite the fact that he has come over here several times on the weekends to help poor sick Drive By through various crises. Twice when he came, I think he was sicker than she was.)
If this keeps on, I'm thinking of taking her to the emergency clinic, but I don't know that there's anything they can do to help, and it would be pretty traumatic for her. So I can't decide.
She's acting like she's rabid or something, with the growling and salivating, but that makes no sense. She hasn't left her room in years, except to go to the clinic for tests that time. Where would she have contracted rabies? For now I'm just leaving her alone, since she doesn't want me to touch her. She's going to be quite dehydrated if she keeps salivating that much. Luckily she ate a good elevenses right before it started happening.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
calaban, how is Kit doing?
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Tatiana, I am doing what praying I know how to do, for both of you.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thank you, dear! Are you still at the same address? I need to know for unrelated reasons. Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
She stayed in the closet all last night. This morning early I got up to check on her. She was still growling and salivating in the closet, and she seemed to have lost control of her legs. I couldn't take leaving her alone, cold and wet on the hard closet floor anymore, even though she seemed to want to be left alone, but I bundled her up in a warm, clean, fluffy towel, and cuddled her and dried her off. She smelt like she had urinated.
She seems to be dying now. All this morning she has had fits of growling that sound like she's in great pain. She spasms and flails wildly, but can't stand or even sit up now. She's lying on the bed, and seems to recognize me in between fits, when I tell her I love her and I'm right here with her. I'm not touching her, aside from occasionally stroking her head and the left side of her face, because I don't want to cause her any more pain.
Dr. George and I had talked about it a while back, and if she dies, he wants to do an autopsy, and I want him to as well, so that we can know the truth, as far as we are able, about exactly what was happening to her and what we did that was right and wrong. I'm sorry she's having to be in pain. If Dr. George were here he could probably stop that. But I can't. All I can do is be here with her in her suffering, and tell her I love her.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Tatiana, I'm so sorry.
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
{{{{Tatiana}}}} {{{{DriveBy}}}}
Rest easy, kitty cat, and let Mommy take care of you instead of hiding from her. Tatiana, please let me know if there's anything I can do for you.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
*hugs*
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thank you, everyone. Dr. George just called me and we discussed it in great detail. He agrees that she's dying but can't get back into town before tomorrow morning at 10am. He thinks I should take her to the emergency animal clinic to be euthanized. I hate it that she can't die at home, on her own bed, but I don't want her to suffer any more pain. Hopefully she has been out of it for most of this time, but it seems from watching as though she's in great agony. My poor baby. I want her not to hurt.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
What a difficult, painful time for both of you. At least she has love.
I think she trusts you to do the right thing, regardless of what that is. I think that maybe, for her, whatever Mother chooses will be the right thing. Even if her body resists, she knows you have loved her for so long and that you still do.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
The lady at the emergency clinic sounded like me and my dying cat were the last of her worries. She said they'd try to do it as quickly as possible, but she couldn't promise anything. It's all the way across town, and when I went to touch Drive By to get ready to pick her up and carry her, she made a piteous mewing sound, one that sounded like herself, asking me to please not move her or jostle her around.
I don't think I want to take her there.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Maybe you can sit quietly together.
We don't know for sure, but it does seem that the wrestling with death that the body goes through isn't really reflective of what is going on inside the mind (so to speak). That is, the body has defense mechanisms to keep it alive -- gasping "agonal breaths," sometimes contortions -- but this doesn't seem to be connected to pain on PET scans.
Don't be afraid of her body if it struggles. It is supposed to. I think we have to go through that to say goodbye to our bodies, too. But I don't think it hurts like it looks like sometimes -- I think it's a way of letting go, not a traumatic experience. Just letting go of things that have been held so tight and close.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
She has been very feisty, very happy, and very alive for such a magnificently long and adventurous life. What an amazing cat! What an amazing Mom!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
((((((Tatiana))))))
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
(((((((AK)))))))
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
quote: Maybe you can sit quietly together.
I like that idea.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It is done.
The vet right down the street, where she had gone to get xrays before, was open today, by some miracle. They were able to get to her right away. She's lying in state on my bed now. I suppose I will bury her this evening out back, amongst the bamboo, beside Brando, her great friend.
Thank you so much for listening and being here with us. In so many ways I know I am blessed.
Posted by calaban (Member # 2516) on :
((tatiana)) I'm so sorry.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
CT, thanks for the descriptions. You are like me and feel comforted by knowing exactly what is happening. And you know that I want to know the truth, as near as we can know it, rather than some comforting fiction.
The two times I almost died, it was a feeling of peace and release. It was a lovely feeling, and as I was coming back the second time, it felt rather hard to have to be alive again, to have to worry again about all the daily cares. I hope that she feels the same way, that she finds death to be a welcome peace. I know that when I "came to" that time, the thought that was in my head was that we should not mourn for the dead. They are in a good place.
That doesn't mean I don't grieve for her. I will miss her a lot. I hope I get to see her again someday, when we will both understand each other completely. I hope she will always know how much I loved her.
Posted by Sharpie (Member # 482) on :
I am moved by this story, Tatiana, and not just because I know you are sad and am sad for you. I'm moved because your love for her has been so strong and so fierce, because you did everything you could. You have been her champion as long as she knew you. I am sure she knew this.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tatiana: CT, thanks for the descriptions. You are like me and feel comforted by knowing exactly what is happening. And you know that I want to know the truth, as near as we can know it, rather than some comforting fiction.
The two times I almost died, it was a feeling of peace and release. It was a lovely feeling, and as I was coming back the second time, it felt rather hard to have to be alive again, to have to worry again about all the daily cares. I hope that she feels the same way, that she finds death to be a welcome peace. I know that when I "came to" that time, the thought that was in my head was that we should not mourn for the dead. They are in a good place.
That doesn't mean I don't grieve for her. I will miss her a lot. I hope I get to see her again someday, when we will both understand each other completely. I hope she will always know how much I loved her.
I know. I understand completely.
I'm so sorry. The loss of a friend is always terribly painful. But you bore witness, and you were with her, and that is Good.
Tatiana, before you bury her body -- were you still considering an autopsy, or have you made a different decision? (I just was rereading the thread and wanted to make sure your prior consideration wasn't overlooked in the middle of this difficult time.)
I wish I could give you a big, real-life hug right now and take you out for ice cream. You could tell stories about her and cry all you wanted. You know you can still do that here if you want, anytime.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I am so sorry.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I asked Dr. George about the autopsy, and he said he didn't think there was anything he could learn that would help other kitties. I spoke to him about my wish to understand in great detail exactly what was going on, and which things we did or didn't do could have been wiser. He explained to me that the things he would see now would not tell him that. They would tell him that her bowel was inflamed, her lungs were scarred, that she was severely malnourished, and that her organs failed. There's no way we can understand all these things in exact detail. We know the broad outlines very well. He said I'm trying to apply a precision which is possible with machinery to a biological system which is complex all the way down to the molecular level, and not possible to understand with the same precision. So I know that he is right. If he doesn't think there's anything to be learned, then even if he did it for my sake, it wouldn't teach us more than we already know.
So we're not going to do an autopsy. If I were a doctor or a vet, I probably would, but I don't know enough for it to tell me anything. Dr. George is wise and brilliant, and if he knows he wouldn't learn anything, then there's no sense in him doing it for my sake.
We're going to talk more about it later, and he's going to tell me everything he knows about what was going on and why. I will be glad to learn that.
Right now I find that I just don't want to bury her. Maybe I will feel like I can later on this evening.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
quote:Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I've always liked that, Goody. Thank you for posting it now.
Tatiana, that's exactly why I didn't have my Minx's body autopsied. I did have her cremated, though, and the little vase sits on my desk next to the china doll of my father's grandmother and my mother's copy of Candide. I like having something of those I loved so close to me.
I'd wanted to bury her ashes at the site of the Madison yearly fireworks. Minx loved thunderstorms, you see -- the noise and the lightening, all of it -- so I thought she'd have liked front-row seating for Rhythm & Booms every year. But I'm glad I can take her with me to Vancouver. It is such a silly thing, when I think about it, but it makes me so happy when I'm tired to look up and remember how she would smile at me with her eyes.
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
Oh, Anne Kate, I'm so sorry.
Ni!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
CT, that's a good idea. I felt bad when I left Peaches' gravesite behind at my old house. I don't know why but having my dead with me in my home earth feels right. I almost dug her up and brought her here.
I hope to keep this house for a long time. Maybe to leave it to someone else who loves it. Here in the woods are buried Kitty, Sparkles, Brando, and soon Drive By. Kitty was born in 1972, so we have some history here. I'm trying to decide now whether I should put anything in Drive By's grave with her. The object she was most attached to was her heating pad. Maybe I'll put it underneath her in the ground. Then if they have 120VAC power in the afterlife, she can at least be warm. Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Anne Kate...but very, very glad Drive By is not suffering any longer.
(((Anne Kate)))
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
My condolences to you. I wish you strength in your time of grief.
Posted by Nell Gwyn (Member # 8291) on :
I'm sorry. Losing a pet is really hard.
(((Tatiana)))
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Ah, Anne Kate, I'm so sorry. I'm glad that you were able to bear witness for her, as CT put it.
Posted by kaioshin00 (Member # 3740) on :
Rest In Peace, DriveBy
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
*giant hugs*
I'm so sorry that you lost your precious DriveBy. I'm glad you were able to finally find a good clinic to go to take her to to be put to sleep. I hope they were as caring and wonderful as the people at the clinic I took Maxx to when he was put to sleep.
Posted by peterh (Member # 5208) on :
AK, Your sharing Drive By's life here with us is a testament to your love for your beloved pet.
May you someday face a joyous reunion.
(This graemlin seems most appropriate to me today)
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
*hug*
Posted by Pod (Member # 941) on :
I'm sorry
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
How are you doing, Tatiana?
Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
I'm sorry for your loss, Tatiana. You and Drive By are in my thoughts.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Thank you all so much! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Your posts mean a whole lot to me. I buried her out back yesterday evening. I finally had to go ahead and do it, because having her here beside me became too painful, when my subconscious kept seeing her out of the corner of my eye and thinking she was alive still. Then my conscious mind would tell it no, it was mistaken, and it would mourn anew each time. I do feel quite bereft, because she was so much a part of my life, so lively and loving, and that life is gone now. But that is how grieving is. A new life will arise eventually, and it will be good.
I have learned when doing these things, to do what feels right, and what felt right last night was to give her some grave goods, to take with her into the next life. Who knows? Maybe the Egyptians had it right, and the spiritual versions of those things will be with her in the next life, and she will enjoy them there, my last gifts. So I found a small burlap bag that someone had given me once and put in it some beautiful colored shiny rocks, her favorite bottle cap that she loved to bat around on the floor, a few splinters from her scratching post, one of my old drivers licenses so she can find me again , and tied all that up with a string. Then I wrapped her in a pillowcase and put her on her heating pad, which was the only object to which she was really attached. I put the little sack in the curl of her paws, and then I draped over her shroud several strings of shiny beads, such as a cat might enjoy chasing after and playing with.
I dug as deeply as I could into the soft dirt beside Brando's grave in the bamboo patch, and lowered her into the earth with these few things. Then I covered her over and found a large rock to set on top to mark the spot. I said a prayer and recited this poem by A.E. Housman.
O thou that from thy mansion Through time and place to roam, Dost send abroad thy children, And then dost call them home,
That men and tribes and nations And all thy hand hath made May shelter them from sunshine In thine eternal shade:
We now to peace and darkness And earth and thee restore Thy creature that thou madest And wilt cast forth no more.
I love you Drive By! I will not forget you.
[ May 30, 2006, 08:51 PM: Message edited by: Tatiana ]
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Now, perhaps, this thread would be best entitled "Prayers for Tatiana".
Drive By is now whole again but Anne Kate is still in pain. Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
My sympathies. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
I'm glad she's feeling better.
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
(This graemlin seems most appropriate to me today)