This is topic MY grandmother has pancreatic cancer. She just passed away about 10 minutes ago. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.
I just found out today on my way home from work. The doctors have said that the only treatment is surgery, but she probably wouldn't survive the operation because of her age and her other health problems. They've said she has about six months to live.
They've said that they'll help with aetting up in home hospice care.
[ August 05, 2006, 11:46 PM: Message edited by: Derrell ]
Posted by Jay (Member # 5786) on :
So sorry. Keep you all in my prayers
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Darn.
I'm sorry to hear that Derrell. It's a tough one to go through. Sorry.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Oh, Derrell, I am so sorry.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Sorry man, that is tough. Best of luck, and I will keep you in my prayers.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Home hospice care is wonderful, the people are so very nice and they think of everything. I'm very sorry about the sad news. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
So sorry to hear the sad news, Derrell. Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I'm sorry to learn of your family's painful situation, Derrell.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
She's my last grandparent. Thank you all for the support. I love Hatrack.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Any news, Derrell?
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
(((Derrell))) I'm so sorry. Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
She's in a care facility right now. They're doing occupational therapy. I think she's decided it's time to stop fighting.
My mom and her siblings are discussing in home hospice care. I know that my grandmother wants to be at home. She wouldn't want to die in a hospital. I don't know how long she'll last. The prognosis is six months, but I'm not sure she'll make it that long.
For now, it's just a matter of waiting.
Posted by Nell Gwyn (Member # 8291) on :
I hope the home hospice care works out so she can enjoy her time as much as possible.
(((Derrell & family)))
Posted by Kristen (Member # 9200) on :
That's awful, Derrell I am so sorry. My grandma also was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I remember my family making those same agonizing decisions. Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Derrell, I'm praying for you and your family. Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
This is a toughie, Derrell. My sympathies to you all and my best wishes for this trying time.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
I'm so sorry, Derrell. I wish you all peace at this time.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I'm sorry you're going through this, Derrell. How old is your grandmother?
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
Aww, man Derrel:( That sucks. I'm sorry your family and you are going through it.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
i'm sorry...
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I'm really sorry Derrell.
Posted by Flaming Toad on a Stick (Member # 9302) on :
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Derrell I wish I had something to say. I'm just very sorry for you and your family. I hope that her last months are peaceful and pain free.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I'm just first seeing this thread, and I want you to know that my thoughts are with you. I've worked for years as a home hospice nurse, so I have seen many families in the same kind of situation. I'm glad that hospice will be involved in her care; it can make a big difference in your grandmother's comfort and care.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
My thoughts are with you and your family, Derrell. Does she live close by to you? Do you get to see her much?
FG
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Derrell, one thing I would suggest, if your grandmother is OK with it, is to make a recording of her telling you stories about the family, or about her childhood. It was one of the things my grandmother and I were always going to do "before it was too late." Because I wanted to deny the reality of her dying, ever, I waited too long, until she was mentally incapable. She had such a distinctive voice. ANd she told wonderful stories.
Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
Derrell, I'm so sorry to hear that. My grandmother was disagnosed with terminal cancer about 2 years ago. She had hospice care and it worked really well for our family.
I agree with Liz's advice. I wish I had had the time to write down, or at least record everything my grandmother told me before she passed. If you're able to make sure to spend some time with her. The few trips I was able to make to see her while she was sick are very precious to me.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
(((Derrell)))
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Farmgirl, she lives in the same mobile home park. Right now she's in a care facilty. She'll probably be there until we can get in home care set up. My aunt works and can't take care of her 24 hours a day.
Yesterday wasn't a good day for grandma. She refused to eat breakfast and lunch. This isn't a good thing to do when you're diabetic. Her blood sugar plummeted and she passed out.
She's lost a lot of weight the last few weeks because of a loss of appetite. I'm guessing it's because the pancreas isn't producing insulin anymore.
I think she's completely given up the will to live. Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Oh Derrell. I am so, so sorry. I will pray for y'all.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Sorry Jake, I didn't see your question until I was rereading the thread just now. She's 87.
Things aren't looking good. Her blood pressure is low and she's in constant pain. Then there's the massive weight loss.
This coming Saturday, we're going to the mortuary to start the preparations for what seems to be just around the corner.
I'd like to ask those who are the praying kind to pray that the end will be peaceful and painless. I also ask for prayers for those she'll leave behind.
It's hard to believe this could finally be the end. She's survived two battles with breast cancer, congestive heart failure, and diabetes.
It's posssible she won't make it another six weeks, much less the six months the doctors gave her. Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I don't know what to say. I feel for you.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
I'm the same way. I can never find the right words to say what I'm feeling at times like this.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
There are no right words at times like this. I just hope you know we care.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
(((Derrell))) I don't know what to say either. Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
We are thinking of all of you, Derrell.
One thing I have learned from people who have done hospice with their loved ones is that there is often a time near the end when the person becomes extremely lucid, and may even get up and have a meal with you, joke, and seem to have miraculously recovered.
I say this so you are prepared for it. My husband's cousin did this, and they really did think it was a miracle, then were devastated anew.
Another friend had this happen with her husband, and still treasures this last moment with him.
My grandmother had an hour or so of this lucidity when she was able to tease her doctor relentlessly, and tell my aunt a few things.
I do think of this as a miracle in itself, a last gift before parting.
I hope this is not inappropriate to talk about. As you say, I am never quite sure what to say and what not to say, but this was meant as a help not just to tell a story.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Elizabeth, (and Derrell, of course) in my experience as a hospice nurse, this kind of thing is possible, but actually unusual. I've seen it in a very small minority of the patients I've cared for. More common is an increasing withdrawal from this world as the soul prepares for entry into the next. Whatever way she does it, though, Derrell's grandmother will do it her own way -- as we all do when given the benefit of a hospice death. It is a sad, but good thing. All things come to an end, there is nothing we can do about it, but to help midwife the passage to make it as smooth and painless as we can.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
That was very well said, Tante.
Derrell, I'm so sorry. I will be thinking of your grandmother, you, and the rest of your family.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Tante, I am just glad I know it, if I ever have to experience it.
Another friend's mom just passed, and they sat around her and sang her Polish folk songs. At one point, she awakened fully and sang with them, and then she passed.
I have heard that the dying process is very much like a birth.
Derrell, your grandmother is lucky to have you there. She will feel your love. I believe that. When I was sick, I could feel people with me.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Derrel, you'll all be in my prayers. My your grandmother have a peaceful and painless passing, and may you all find your own peace along the way.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
((Derrell))
My prayers are with you, your grandmother, and your family.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Things have gone dramatically downhill. She's lost a considerable amount of weight because she's not eating. Her liver has started malfunctioning. I'm going to visit her today because I don't think she has much time left. Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
I'm sorry, Darrell. I just lost my grandpa to pancreatic cancer. Same thing, they gave him six months, and he lasted about two.
On the bright side, he didn't have a lot of time to be sick. I hope your grandmother's passing is peaceful.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
I am so sorry that she's going downhill. (((Derrell)))
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Derrell, I'm so sorry! This is a hard time for you and all the family.
Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
Ah jeez, Derrell, I'm so sorry. Keeping you and yours in my prayers.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*hug*
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
It's amazing how much strength one can get from a group of people one has never met. Thanks to one and all for the good thoughts and prayers.
I went to visit her today. I was amazed how much worse it's gotten, even since the last time I visited. She looked so skinny and frail. She's eating so little that I'm not sure how much longer her body can keep going.
The staff at the care facility won't give her IV nutrients. I think that has something to do with the DNR she signed.
I've already talked to my boss about the company's policy on bereavement leave. I'll get three days off. I think that's pretty standard. The funeral will be here in the Phoenix area, but the burial will be in the small town where she raised her kids. It's about a four hour drive north and east of here.
For who believe in the power of prayer, I would ask that you pray that her passing will be peaceful and come soon. I think she's suffered enough. Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I will certainly pray for her, and for you and your family as well.
Derrell, I know the pain of losing a grandparent who was very special to you, and it was extremely hard. But know that your love for her, while it may cause you pain now as you mourn the upcoming loss of her, will be a comfort and strength to you later, when the pain eases. I know I owe much of who I am today to the love that my grandparents showered on me, and they hold a very special place in my heart. I'm so very glad of that. I know you will be too.
In the meantime, you have my deepest condolences on the situation.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
(((Derrell & family)))
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
I just got a call from my mom. Grandma's body is finally shutting down. Her feet are purple.
The nurses don't think she'll make it throught th night.
I just hope she goes in her sleep. Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
The body shutting down is a sign that she has made peace with her death. Being told that helped me, having gone through much the same thing earlier this year. Thinking of you and your family Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
Thanks, Myr
Posted by Jeesh (Member # 9163) on :
((Derrell)) Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
It's over. My mom just called. At least she's not in pain aqnymore. I'm not looking forward to the funeral.
Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
We're sorry for your loss, Derrell.
Posted by JenniK (Member # 3939) on :
Very sorry for your loss, Derrell. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Posted by Zotto! (Member # 4689) on :
I'm so sorry for your loss, Derrell. Prayers/goodthoughts to you and yours.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I'm so sorry, Derrell. Take care of yourself. This is a hard time for you. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
(((Derrell)))
Posted by Nell Gwyn (Member # 8291) on :
I'm so sorry, Derrell.
(((Derrell & family)))
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
I'm sorry for your loss, Derrell. Posted by genius00345 (Member # 8206) on :
My deepest condolences to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Stay strong.
Posted by The Federal Government (Member # 6807) on :
Sorry for your loss, Derrell. You should go have a good cry with someone you love.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
(((Derrell)))
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
(((Derrell)))
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
*e-hug*
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
Jesus. I'm sorry, Darrell. I just lost my grandaunt, too -- one of the most intelligent and beautiful people I've ever known, without equal. I wish these things couldn't happen.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I'm so sorry, Derrell. (((((Derrell)))))
Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
I'm really sorry Derrell. (((Derrell))). I'm glad your grandmother isn't suffering anymore, but I know it's small consolation.
Posted by cmc (Member # 9549) on :
Thinking of you and your family... Stick together and remember the good times. Know she's at Peace.
Posted by Allegra (Member # 6773) on :
I am sorry for your loss. (((((Derrell)))))
Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
((Derrell))
My grandpa's funeral wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't like sitting up front near the casket, but my grandma didn't lose it, so it kind of evened out.
Get yourself a bottle of water. I read that you can't cry while you're swallowing, so it's worth a try.
The eulogy was weird. I learned stuff about grandpa I hadn't known, but some of it sounded made up. "Personal relationship with God"? The man used to laugh at my mom for being religious. I think the preacher might have been stretching the truth a bit to make folks feel better. And that's the key point of the day. Making people feel better. Whatever gets said, let it slide.
You'll get through this. It'll suck, but you'll get through. ((Derrell)
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Derrell, my sincere condolences to you and your family in this difficult time. I wish you strength and comfort.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
I am so sorry. My heart is with all of you.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Derrell, I'm so sorry.
Posted by suminonA (Member # 8757) on :
I'm not very good at this, so I'll just say with all my heart: Condolences.
A.
Posted by ssasse (Member # 9516) on :
I'm sorry for your loss, Derrell. I hope you will feel welcome to share your stories of her here, if that should be something you want to do. I'm sure we would love to read with you and remember through you, insofar as we can.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
She was a very independant woman. She was also as stubborn as a mule. When she first went into the nursing home, it was the prospect of going home that kept her going.
My grandmother was born in a town that no longer exists. It was the town of Ashhurst, Arizona. She raised her kids in the town of St. Johns, Arizona.
I'll add more later. I'm considering starting a new thread for the stories. It would be a thread where others could share stories about loved ones who've passed on.
Does that sound like a good idea to anyone else?
Posted by ssasse (Member # 9516) on :
I think that is an excellent idea, Derrell.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Agreed, I would love to read and participate in such a thread Posted by Ela (Member # 1365) on :
My condolences on your loss, Derrell. Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
(((Derrell))). So sorry to hear about this.
Posted by Derrell (Member # 6062) on :
OK, I'll do it.
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Posted by cmc (Member # 9549) on :
Awesome Idea, Derrell. Thanks.
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
Sorry, man.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
I'm so sorry, Derrell. I really like your idea for sharing stories of our loved ones. Thanks for starting that thread.
*gentle hug*
Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
(((Darrell)))
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
I'm sorry for your loss, Derrell.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
*Hugs*
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
((Derrell)) Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)