Hatrack River Forum: Just how the heck do I...

This is topic Just how the heck do I... in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :

Stop harping on a person?
It is annoying me.

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

Say cello to someone else.

Um...sorry. How about cut yourself some slack and focus on yourself for awhile.

(it does take time, sometimes).

Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :

I am trying to make some sort of attempt to take care of myself, lose weight, get a job, get more confident, get on the path to becoming a writer.
But still, try as I may I can't get this darn person off my MIND!!! >.<

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

It is a grieving process. These things can take a lot of time. I mean a LOT. And it's painful. I don't know a shortcut. Sadly, it doesn't even get easier with practice.

(((Synth)))

Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :

On the bright side, there's a whole lot of rediscovery that can happen and it IS possible to learn from these events.

I like myself MUCH more than I ever did before.

And mostly because I have a more realistic view of myself, but also, in part, because I have learned to be a better person. Not perfect, of course, but better...

Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :

same here, Bob. I don't care what people say, being married is wonderful, and I am far, far happier with myself and my life now than I have ever been in the past.

Not that everything is perfect, but once I learned to move on and live my life wonderful things, like marrying Jenni, just seemed to fall into place. [Big Grin]

Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :

I agree with everything said here. It takes a while. I've kind of bounced around trying to figure out what works best for me in my new life as a single dad. I'll admit, on the nights when my kids are with their mom I have a hard time. I sit around feeling anxious and restless but each day it gets easier. One great way to work through it all is friends. I've got a couple of great people in town that I can turn to when I'm bored. They have done a gret a job of keeping me busy on my nights alone. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay busy. Go out with friends, pick up a hobby, get involved with local groups or activities. When the mind is inactive and the body is doing nothing its easy to drift back into the self pity/anger/sadness/frustration/ect.. feelings that linger after finding yourself without that special someone.

Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :

It only turns into self pity and frustration and agony when I fight it.
Otherwise, it's not so bad and a rather good influence...
But I have to fight it as it is not possible.

Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :

quote:
But still, try as I may I can't get this darn person off my MIND!!! >.<

Who is this person?

Posted by SoaPiNuReYe (Member # 9144) on :

Ur mom.

Sorry he was asking for it.

Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :

I was?

Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :

This dude who is so beautiful and fascinating he has completely out of no where taken over my mind and I have NO IDEA what to do about it...
Especially since it is impossible. I am not hot. I am not his type. I am weird.

Posted by SoaPiNuReYe (Member # 9144) on :

Find something really repulsive about him.

Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :

He's weird
He's really, really weird.
And yet, that is attractive as all hell.

Posted by airmanfour (Member # 6111) on :

Think of me [Wink]

Posted by SoaPiNuReYe (Member # 9144) on :

No, think of me.

Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :

Synesthesia: I'd say go for it and let the chips fall where they may. That's what I did about this time last year, and now I've moved to another state to get away from the incredible pain of everything that happened as a result, and I'm as lonely as I've ever been --

But.

But I went for it. I feel good about myself for that. In this life, you've got to be a fool for love.

Good luck.

Posted by TL (Member # 8124) on :

From re-reading this thread, it sounds as if there is a whole lot of context here that I'm not understanding.

Posted by HollowEarth (Member # 2586) on :

Stop labeling yourself weird. It does no one any good, least of all yourself.