I really hope this is not offensive. I thought it was sweet, teasing fun in the Garrison Keillor style.
"Garrison Keillor: Salt Lake City is home to the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a productive, and tireless people-12 million strong, with 52,000 missionaries around the world (DOORBELL), and 30 billion in the bank (KA-CHING). They built the Salt Lake Temple with their bare hands (SAWING, HAMMERING), and Brigham Young University, (HAMMERING). And you have to wonder: what would they have accomplished if they drank coffee? You'd have four or five missionaries coming to your door every day. (
FN: Hi. VERY FAST HIGH-PITCHED TALK) And some more at night. (FN FASTER HIGHER) And the Choir would sound different (SINGING, FAST, HIGH, "COME COME YE SAINTS"). And even more of them would think the President is doing a great job. (HIGH-PITCHED VOICES OF APPROVAL) Thank you, Mormons, for leaving coffee alone, which means more for the rest of us."
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
lol! That was great!
Posted by aretee (Member # 1743) on :
I think that was quite amusing.
Most people are grateful I don't drink coffee, as I am already high strung. And anyone who has seen me drunk (pre-baptism) is now grateful that I no longer engage in that activity either. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
That's funny. Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Too funny. Here's the link to the full script, along with the audio (there are some ad libs in the audio, he didn't follow the script exactly):
(of course he doesn't mention the mainlining of Diet Coke)
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
that really was quite funny
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
hehehehe
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Thank you, Mormons, for leaving coffee alone, which means more for the rest of us."
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
His numbers are right as regards the number of members and the number of missionaries. He must have done his homework. Is he right about the amount the church has in the bank too? Or is that hyperbole? That sounds way too high to me. Anyone know?
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
A couple of days ago, as I was stopping in to the Quik Chek for my morning coffee, I saw two very clean-cut looking young men, no kippahs, white short-sleeved shirts, ties, dark pants. They didn't fit in with the milieu, and I almost asked them "Excuse me, but are you two Mormon missionaries?" I didn't, though, because I couldn't figure out what I would say after that, whether they answered affirmatively or negatively.
Nothing to do with Garrison Keillor, of course, except the coffee-Mormon link.
And that is tenuous at best.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Tante, you can tell without asking by looking at the badges.
(The ones in the U.S. usually say "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" in English, though.)
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
You know, the encounter was so fleeting that I couldn't tell if they were wearing badges. I didn't get a full head-on view.
Probably just as well. It is following this sort of impulse that makes my son wail "Mom! Why do you always have to embarrass me in public!"
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
The D.C. metro is messing up my modar. It used to be that any time I saw well-dressed young men with backpacks, they were missionaries. Now I see a dozen a day, and they are interns downtown.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Tatiana, my vague and undependable memory is that Time or Newsweek came out with some figure like that in an article a couple of years ago. President Hinckley said something in conference along the lines of "we're flattered by the attention but we don't release those figures, but I will say they are quite exaggerated." Anyway, I imagine Keillor got his financial info from some such article.
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
Tante: and you tell him "That's my job!" (Right? That's what I do. )
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
It seems very weird to me that an organization to which donations are tax-deductable would not release its financials. Isn't that required?
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
I don't think that it is, as I can't imagine that if it weren't, someone wouldn't have mentioned it by now.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
And please make note of my "vague and undependable memory" disclaimer--I may be way wrong, and I don't have anything to back it up just now.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by CaySedai: Tante: and you tell him "That's my job!" (Right? That's what I do. )
Northern Sun Merchandising is about a mile from my house. They are awesome. (I bought all my Christmas gifts from there one year.)
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I know something we're doing this weekend! Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
*grin* We apparently should have planned a full week.
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