10. Tear into strips, dye yellow, and tie around trees.
9. Wander around a graveyard at night to try to make the new edition of Capitol Ghosts. Repeat until it happens.
8. Donate to an LDS theatre company and watch it become Captain Moroni's title of liberty.
7. Create lovely lace curtains for your cute townhouse you just moved into.
6. Cut off the bottom four feet, dye red, and go clubbing.
5. Make baby blessing/christening/baptism dresses and donate to a local charity hospital.
4. The Prettiest Tent at Girls' Camp
3. Tear into strips and TP (wrap) your boss's townhouse
2. Hang on a wall, strip naked, roll in black and red paint, and with a running start, throw yourself against it. Sell on eBay titled "Hearts in Transit."
1. Go as Miss Havisham for Halloween.
#1 is the one I'm actually considering. Maybe #2. While I certainly hope I won't still be sad/mad/smad by then, I love the idea. There's more than one way to make a disturbing Halloween costume.
Tomorrow is the Unwedding Day. Matt and I are still definitely together, and I'm not heartbroken. I'm some things, though, and I'm trying to work them out. I moved into my new townhouse this past weekend and had to move that Big White Dress I've been lugging around. I thought about selling it to get my deposit for the new place, but that was a little more final than I was willing to do. If the wedding ever does happen, though, I don't know if I can wear that dress. It's the dress for a wedding that will never exist, and I'm not sure I want the reminder. On the other hand, it is gorgeous, and it's perfect. I'm not quite willing to part with it yet.
Any other ideas for the dress? Double points for whomever provokes a laugh. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Okay, maybe that's kind of putting people on the spot. It's an awkward situation. But the list was funny! Some of them were funny. Is my Funny-o-meter completely off?
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I think it's hilarious, and I like #6 best, if you could do it without being reminded. Didn't post yet because I haven't thought of a good use yet. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
It's very funny. I particularly like #6.
*hug*
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
She posts what I'm thinking, better than I did, and faster.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
*heehee*
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
#1 could be "Go as the corpse bride to a Halloween party"
I seriously have no idea what to do with my wife's wedding dress, she is having it encased and preserved, but for what purpose I know not.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
I like #3, except I think it should be directed at the ex-groom, not at a boss. Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
I always miss these things...
Well, sounds like fun anyway.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Beverly somehow was able to return her dress for the wedding that never took place. She got store credit, so when I cam along, we didn't have to pay for her wedding dress.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Farmgirl: I have to admit that wandered across my mind, but I just couldn't.
My mom saved her wedding dress, and I actually love the idea of making baby blessing dresses out of it.
The red dress idea is winning. Now, what dyes satin?
[ August 04, 2006, 02:59 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
10) Stuff and use as a big beaded pillow.
9) Think Scarecrow.
8) Put on top of the world's largest wedding cake.
7) Put on manakin, put in car, use the carpool lanes as desired.
6) Put in trunk of car. Put it on when you need to drive over the limit. What cop would ticket a bride late for her wedding?
5) Reshoot Billy Idol's White Wedding Video.
4) Save it to wear to mean cousin Mitsy's wedding. You know Mitsy. She's the one that gave you the coupon for free cooking lessons for your wedding present. She's the one who said he could do much better. When she goes to walk down the aisle, show up in your wedding gown and show her what beauty really is.
3) Send the veil to your boss, in care of his wife, with a note saying, "You left this at my place last Saturday. I cleaned the canola oil off of it. When do I get to be the bride?" Signed Harvey.
2) Find the biggest, burliest guy you can find. Have him hold the dress up next to him. Take picture. Make a sign that reads.
"This is inmate 423452.
He is holding up the mandatory prison outfit for anyone he shares a cell with.
Remember: Shoplifting is a crime. Violators will be prosecuted."
Sell signs. Make fortune. Retire.
1) Take it to Wal-mart and demand your money back. Say you got it at the upstart "high end Wal-Mart in Texas" I know you didn't get it at Wal-Mart, but does the Wal-Mart behind the counter know that?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*laugh* Dan, those are perfect. I want to do all of them! You get triple points.
Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
kat, I loved your #2, but I love all of Dan's!
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I thought this wedding dress was your mother's? I guess not.....
I'm thinking you should donate it for leprosy bandages....
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
quote: 3) Send the veil to your boss, in care of his wife, with a note saying, "You left this at my place last Saturday. I cleaned the canola oil off of it. When do I get to be the bride?" Signed Harvey.
Okay - - I'll admit. This one made me LAUGH OUT LOUD for real!
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
Reinact Runaway Bride. But do it towards a random guy in the park, preferably one lunching with a ladyfriend.
Borrow a bridesmaid dress. You wear the bridesmaid dress and put the wedding dress on an inflatable doll. Set up outside a justice of the peace's office, and loudly try to talk your friend out of getting married.
"He's just not right for you! He's a balloon, for heaven's sake -- full of hot air!"
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Tear it up, tie it into knots, and use it to climb out a 2nd story window.
Or for punishment Matt has to climb up to the window precariously on the knotted cloth, with a rose between his teeth to give to you when he gets there.
AJ
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Now with two dresses, that's even more fun.
You and your best girlfriend stand outside City Hall with a cheap certificate and just scream and yell and embrace and keep saying, "Its legal now. Its legal now."
or
You and you best freind chase a Tuxedo'd man. Each bride carries some implement of doom while the running man keeps saying "Scheduling mistake. My bad."
Posted by vonk (Member # 9027) on :
Smear mascara around your eyes and wear the dress to local bars around town. You're sure to get free drinks that way.
-or-
Approach random guy with girlfriend, grab his shirt and scream, "How could you do this to me?! After all we've been through?! Did you even think of the children?!" Then run away crying. He'll have a heckuva time talking his way outa that one.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
I'm bummed that I can't come up w/ anything funny, but I'm also voting for the knockout red dress. And jealous of Dan_raven for being so funny!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
A la Rachel of Friends, start wearing it to answer the door, declaring, "I do!"
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Tear into strips for use in bondage games? Also handy if you get even more depressed.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
quote:Remember: Shoplifting is a crime. Violators will be prosecuted."
Shouldn't that be "Prosecuted will be violated"?? {ducking and running... FAST!}
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Are you implying I should hang myself with it? You sick freak, what is wrong with you?
I suppose I could add "keep strips handy to strangle idiots with" to the list.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
What a great Murder Mystery opening scene, a woman hung by her own wedding dress, her flowers lie scattered on the floor, her veil covering her face, a note, from the missing fiance is in her hand. "We can still be friends" is all it says.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Suicide is not an option. Or a desire, really, although KoM makes me contemplate more felonious activities involving death and a wrench.
In other words, it's too bad that I couldn't post this thread with KoM amusing himself with it. I'll might delete it - I wish I could have put it here. KoM, whereever you are, the place is poorer for it. >_<
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
He did kinda take all the "funny" out, didn't he?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I wish he wasn't on the board. Except for Baldar, I never wished that about anyone.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Okay, I'm not going to delete it. It's too funny, and there's still hope for it. KoM's like the smelly dog that your best friend owns. You like your best friend, so you endure the dog.
----- Dan, in your scenario, I would make the note something like "I'm sorry, I had to" in ambiguous handwriting.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I wonder if you could turn it into a kite? I have this image of flying a wedding dress into the air on the end of a string....
Wear it to the Smithsonian, and see if you get asked if you are part of an exhibit. Or see how long before the security guards get nervous....
Take pictures with people holding it at various historic sites. Try to bury it at Gettysburg without getting caught.
AJ
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by BannaOj: I wonder if you could turn it into a kite? I have this image of flying a wedding dress into the air on the end of a string....
I love this!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
BannaOj, I was just about to suggest filling it with helium balloons and floating it off.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I can totally understand wanting a new dress if you decide to get married later - this is the dress for the wedding that didn't happen - I get that.
While all the suggestions are funny, my practical side says sell it, and use the money on yourself - treat yourself to something you wouldn't ordinarily do.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Keep it, let go of the smad, wear it when the time is right.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
While I'm not sure what kind of dye would work on satin to saturate the whole thing, I bet you could get the kind that Belle uses for painting silk scarves and, say, paint a pattern of red flowers over it. I'd practice first, of course, but you could end up with quite a striking hand-painted dress.
Although personally, I'd sell it, too. Upscale consignment shop would probably bring the best price. Buy jewelry.
Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
I'm with Tatiana - if it really is perfect, keep it for the future - until/unless you find something more perfect.
Of course, the dress I was married in was perfect when I wore it, but my taste is different now, I'd buy something different today. So unless that "future" is relatively soon, you may want to sell it.
I still like the baby blessing dresses idea, though. Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
I must be very...unsentimental, or too sentimental, I'm not sure which. I kept my first wedding dress for years after the divorce. I had no good memories attached to it, except the day we bought it in Scotland, but it was so pretty, and it was such a substantial part of my past, I really had a hard time letting go of it. I figured I'd better get rid of it, though, when I moved back to Washington to marry Ross.
If you aren't ready to let go of it yet, Kat, don't feel any pressure to do so. It's your dress. OTOH, if you don't think you'll ever use it in your future wedding, selling it at a consignment shop could be a real blessing to someone. I bought my second wedding dress at a consignment shop and felt so very happy to have found it.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
And hey, kat? We're going to be in DC next month for family vacation. Think we could meet up for lunch or something? I won't have much time, but I would really LOVE to meet you face to face. Posted by Theca (Member # 1629) on :
I read some cute little teen girl book written in the 1950s once, about some girl who borrowed her older sister's white party dress and then spilled something tea colored on it that wouldn't come off, so they soaked the whole dress in tea, then snuck it back in the closet. The sister was ectatic--she'd wanted a cream colored dress and had had to settle for white.
Since then, I've always wanted to soak a white dress in tea just to see what happens.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
You're talking about one of the All-of-a-Kind-Family books (although I wouldn't really describe it as a "cute little teen girl book"). I think it must be either AoaKF Uptown or AoaKF Downtown.
quote:The sister was ecstatic--she'd wanted a cream colored dress and had had to settle for white.
That's not quite what happened . . .
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I read that book too Theca! Dagnabbit, I can't remember what it was called.
AJ
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
It does seem like a shame to destroy something like that without it ever getting a chance to fulfil its intended destiny.
Posted by Theca (Member # 1629) on :
Nooo, I don't think it was in that series, Rivka. This was an all-American family with teenage girls with 50s style hair cuts and names like Mary Sue or something. Donna, maybe? I DID read that other series, but that isn't it.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
It says it is All of a kind Family here, too, and I have read the series but I didn't think it was in them either.
Was it Caddie Woodlawn? no too old fashioned.
It also seems like it was a "moral tale" kind of thing in the "wholesome books for young people" classification of the day.
Posted by Stray (Member # 4056) on :
No, I'm quite sure rivka's got it right; I read those books too.
Posted by Theca (Member # 1629) on :
Well, maybe it happened in both series. Weren't the All of a Kind Family with younger girls? They didn't have party dresses and go out with boys did they?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Eighth Dell Printing of All-of-a-Kind Family Uptown:
page 18 - Ella refuses to lend Henny her white party dress.
page 21 - Henny "borrows" the dress anyway and sneaks out.
page 26 - After a tug-of-war related mishap, Henny discovers there are tea stains on the white dress. Soap and water are useless.
page 27 - "Get me lots and lots of tea!"
page 30 - Dress is hung back in Ella's closet.
page 31-32 The dress is discovered. The other sisters think it looks better now than it did white, Ella is suspicious, Henny is guiltily silent, and Mama isn't fooled at all.
page 34 - After Ella leaves, Mama gets Henny to 'fess up. As penance, Henny will be doing the laundry . . . and dying the new curtains. With tea.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
ok, yeah it was Henny.... now I remember!
AJ
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I also wonder if there wasn't a staining incident in another series though. I'm wondering if it was red punch and they dyed it pink??
AJ
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Theca: Well, maybe it happened in both series. Weren't the All of a Kind Family with younger girls? They didn't have party dresses and go out with boys did they?
There are six books. The girls are all little in the first three, but the older ones have started dating by book four.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by rivka: A la Rachel of Friends, start wearing it to answer the door, declaring, "I do!"
*giggle* Guess which episode is on right now?
Posted by Theca (Member # 1629) on :
Donna Parker, On Her Own was the book I was thinking of, or a similar book. But the Henny episode does look right.
Posted by maui babe (Member # 1894) on :
I remember Donna Parker, On Her Own... her parents go to India without her and they hire a teacher to stay with Donna and her brother, and her pet dove gets out of his cage and steals the money from the cookie jar and she blames her brother... I must have read that book a dozen times.
I remember it was the first time I'd ever heard of snow chains and living in California, I had NO idea what they were talking about. I pictured chains being wrapped around the outside of the car and wondered how that could possibly help you drive in snow.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I bet DI would love an already Temple-ready, unworn wedding dress.
For that matter, someone on Freecycle might need it.
I know, I know, I'm supposed to be funny. My funny seems to be broke right now. It may have to do with Emma climbing up and sticking her finger in the electric pencil sharpener last night, and Bridget losing weight...
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I 've read them both... no wonder!
AJ
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
kat, Dan's idea about the prison inmate is one of the best so far.
I understand what you mean about not wanting to use it when/if wedding occurs...but if it is perfect, maybe you could have it altered in some way (or something added/taken away from it) so it would be the same dress, but NOT the same. you know?
Or, you could do the naked paint flinging thing. That's another great idea. Posted by cmc (Member # 9549) on :
A couple of things...
Oh My Gosh I did not realize other people had read All of a Kind Family and its sequels. (of course others had read them, i've just never talked about it!) I read every one of those books growing up and loved them all. A favorite part was the ear piercing (no clue which one it's in) with the strings. Not sure why, just is. Oddly enough, just hearing someone mention them brings back so many moments! Thanks for that! : )
Playing off of katharina's #1... What if you found a really cool destination, like a random waterfall in the middle of the woods. Then dyed each strip you ripped off varying shades leading from 'point a' to the really cool spot? You could even go shades of the rainbow or even varying shades of the same color to build up the 'excitement' to the grand finale... Then there's still a beautiful end for the dress, maybe bringing it full circle?
Posted by blacwolve (Member # 2972) on :
I really like #9 in the original list. Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
Hmm is there a picture of this dress? I'm trying to imagine it as a lovely clubbing dress.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Just wanted to point out, that dyeing it is only a possibility depending on the material. If it's silk satin, you're in like Flynn as silk is a natural fiber and easily dyed. (provided, of course, the dress can be washed)
If it's polyester satin or some other synthetic fabric, it's a whole 'nother story. I'm not going to say it's impossible, but I will say I highly, highly encourage you to not do it.
For one thing, you can't dye anything that isn't washable, and most wedding dresses are dry clean only. Dyeing it is going to involve immersion in water and chemicals and if it's beaded at all, you may find yourself re-attaching all the beads and sequins.
Here's a link on dyeing polyester, but the writer of the page, agrees with me and does not encourage dyeing formal dresses that are synthetic.
Here you go. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Y'all are wonderful.
This was a good weekend, actually. Matt was completely darling. I cried and got mad on Friday, but on Saturday, he kept me busy. Came in the morning, gave me roses, found a place for me to get my car detailed, dropped off the car, then the activities started. We went to Mideival Times, which was hilarious and so dorky it came out as cool on the other side. Then,Picasso at the Lapin Agile at a theatre in Arlington. Then we saw Talladega Nights, about which I have mixed feelings. I don't think it's on my list of favorite movies when taken as a whole, but there were a couple of scenes that were absolutely glorious, and it was very original. Plus, when I talked to my dad that morning, he wanted to know when I would be able to come to Utah next. All in all, an amazingly good day.
jeniwren, e-mail me when you come. I would absolutely love to have lunch. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
And if the pictures you use on E-Bay are of your ex-fiance wearing the dress, I'll bet you'll get more out of it.
Maybe not more money, but you'll definately get more out of it.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
AJ, that link was hilarious. The "what were they thinking?" page has some real howlers.
Okay, as for ideas on what to do with the dress:
1) Use it in a dog wedding.
2) Turn it into a quilt alternating patches from the dress with patches of fabric with an "eye" pattern. Give quilt to someone special.
3) Wear it. Every day. Ask people if they'll take your photo.
4) Add an advertising panel to the back of it and rent space out. Get sponsor's patches sewn on it. You could be the "Home Depot" "Quiznos" bride.
5) Become a performance artist. Howl a lot and act in synchronized movements to a pre-recorded tape of a wedding.
6) Sign up for one of those dude ranch vacations and insist on wearing it during the big round up.
7) Put it on a blow-up doll, fill the doll with helium, and let her fly over the US Capitol. The excitement of watching F-16's scramble will be fun for the whole family.
8) Stage your own production of Phantom of the Opera.
9) Use it the fabric as a grape press for making wine. Serve the wine at your first non-anniversary. Keep muttering stuff about "bitter dregs" and how the wine has a nice satiny finish.
10) Mail it to KoM.
Seriously, though, if you aren't interested in making money from it, donate the dress to a worthy charity in your town.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Or...
You could make a teddy bear (or 10) out of it.
Posted by vwiggin (Member # 926) on :
Or maybe attend a shindig.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Or you could just admire it.
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
This is proof of my theory that some fashion designers hate women. (From the "What were they thinking" portion of the site that BannaOj linked to.) If they didn't hate women, why would they design something like that?
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
quote:posted by Dan_raven: 7) Put on manakin, put in car, use the carpool lanes as desired.
See also: sidewalks, parks, front lawns, street cafes.
"This is the BRIDE, people!"
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I think looking at brides magazines has fried my brain. Most of the things on Banna's link seemed very reasonable and possibly a good idea to me. *hides* Not CaySedai's link, I have to admit.
That's a great list, Bob. I especially love the one involving F-16s. Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
kat: yeah, I thought many of them were fine, and actually really liked a few (such as this one, though its probably somewhat impractical due to tripping hazard: http://www.visi.com/~dheaton/bride/butterfly.html )
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
That's just because they've posed her with half her train draped in front of her. I don't think it's any more of a tripping hazard than the average wedding dress (and why did you think the bride had attendants anyway?)
Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
Heheh, true enough.
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
My girls and I had quite a few giggles looking at the dresses, etc., from that site. I've got to find a site I've seen before - with bad bridesmaid dresses.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
I think the captions made a lot of the humor though some dresses were genuinely bad.
I LOVE this dress. Minus the freaky bird headdress and bracelets, of course.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
If a televised pagaent is coming up, or better yet, a reality show wedding, you could have a pageant or wedding dress party, where everyone dresses up in their finest and you all watch the show together, make snarky comments and throw popcorn at the tv. For a pageant party, it's also fun to make banners for each guest to wear, with names like Miss Taken, Miss Appropriated, Miss Understood, etc.
Posted by Chanie (Member # 9544) on :
Crash wedding receptions.
Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
I was looking at a wedding dress catalogue with my sister-in-law (for her wedding) and there was something very disturbing. Quite a few of the pictures had the "bride" posing with a presumably naked guy. Shaved, oiled, muscles bulging, the whole nine yards (metaphorically speaking). We began to wonder if it was a new kind of wedding accessory...
--Mel
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I saw those ads! I have no idea what they are for.
Actually, I'm guessing they are intended to get attention. In that case, it definitely worked. I don't think actually including them in the bridal pictures is a good idea, unless maybe it's the groom and he has a very, very overdeveloped sense of humor.
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
I have seen wedding pictures where because of the style of gown (strapless & backless) some of the dancing/embracing pictures looked like the bride was naked.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Maybe #2. While I certainly hope I won't still be sad/mad/smad by then, I love the idea. There's more than one way to make a disturbing Halloween costume. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
kat, I loved your #2, but I love all of Dan's!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)