Three quotes from the past week or so that left me totally unable to answer.
"Papa, if I get mad during a full moon, will I become a Woolworth?"
(This after seeing "Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein.")
If only. Woolworth stores had a great snack counter.
"Who made us?"
In the middle of a birthday party surrounded by kids and parents from at least three major religions, and a few agnostics. Upon clarification he wanted the "true" creation story.
"I want you to get it for me for Christmas." "Well, maybe Santa will get it for you." "No. Santa is going to get me Lincoln Logs. I want YOU to get it for me."
The little brainiac is using the Santa myth against us already.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Oh, I love Sasha stories. Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :
That is so awesome that you're showing him Abbot and Costello movies. When I was younger, my dad came home from the library with a new one at least once a week. It was glorious. I think I can still recite the "Who's on First?" sketch by heart.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Ahh, "Who's on First" memorized. That's nothing.
When I was growing up the played Abbott and Costello movies every weekend. My memorization of Who's on First (I have the T-Shirt) was one factor in winning my wife. My memorization of their classic math routine--7x13=28, got me noticed by my math and science teachers (the fact that I could prove it using Addition, Multiplaction and Division.)
However, my favorite routine got me out of a fight.
In the highschool cafeteria one of the local grunts started picking on me. Now you must remember that this kid was twice my size, and about half my IQ. After enduring his stealing of my french fries once too often I slammed down my tray and stared at him.
"Are you looking for a fight?" I asked.
"What if I am" he answered.
"You want a fight?" I said in a fake shocked voice.
"Yeah. I wanna fight!" he replied.
"You want a fight!" I stared.
"Yeah. I want a fight." He glared back.
"Ok. 3:30, in the upper parking lot. Be there!" I stood.
By now the entire cafeteria was staring at us.
"I'll be there." he said as he stood to meet me, eye to eye, over the table.
Silence filled the cafeteria.
I smiled evilly at his friends who surrounded him hungrilly. "And I'd better not see any of your friends there."
"What?" he asked.
"This fight doesn't involve them."
"Ok. I don't need them."
"Yeah, big talk. You had better be alone."
"I'll be alone."
Louder now, "You'd better be alone!"
"I'll be alone."
"Well, You had better be alone!"
"I'll be alone!!"
"You bet you will, cause I'm not going to be there."
With that I picked up my tray and walked out of the room. I got about 2 steps before the room erupted in laughter, and the poor grunt still hadn't figured out what was going on.
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
quote: "Papa, if I get mad during a full moon, will I become a Woolworth?"
*giggle*
That's the cutest thing I've heard all day. Even more than Gilbert whimpering like a puppy during my diction class.
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
I like the request for the "true" creation story. Ahh, he totally gets it already . . .
Posted by Nell Gwyn (Member # 8291) on :
I think I've said something like this before, but Sasha is an awesome kid. And he has an awesome dad, too - I loved your fight story! Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Oooooh, I like Sasha stories! Thanks Dan for sharing.
Posted by Euripides (Member # 9315) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dan_raven: "Who made us?"
In the middle of a birthday party surrounded by kids and parents from at least three major religions, and a few agnostics. Upon clarification he wanted the "true" creation story.
You've got to love kids Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
Ohhhh, those are great stories! *giggling*
Posted by cmc (Member # 9549) on :
Wait - what's 'the Santa myth'?
edit: to take out somethin' not needed anymore... : )
[ November 07, 2006, 01:08 AM: Message edited by: cmc ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
quote:Wait - what's 'the Santa myth'?
Why, Mythes Claus. She makes his hot coaco and cookies and irons his red furry long-johns.
Sasha did regain all his lost points Sunday, when we were making Christmas lists he asked, "What can we get for Santa?"
We are going to buy him new gloves.
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
Are the new gloves going to wind up on your hands, or perhaps be given to a charity?
Posted by Dark as night (Member # 9577) on :
Love the stories! "What can we get for Santa?" sounds like something my nephew would say.
This is off topic, Samarkand, but have you actually been there? I hadn't heard the name in years. Once upon a time I had an aunt that lived there. She said it was a magical place.
Posted by Libbie (Member # 9529) on :
HA!!! What an awesome kid.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Wow, that's just too precious!
They still make Lincoln Logs? Neat. I love it when kids play with building toys. I can't wait to get Aerin Lincoln Logs and Legos.
Posted by Dr Strangelove (Member # 8331) on :
Dan, that's an awesome story. I only saw the 7x13=28 skit once and didn't get the chance to memorize it. I need to rewatch those movies. I can barely remember some of the funniest parts.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Words that have come out of my mouth that I never thought would.
Classic: "If you count to infinity again, I'll take you out of this restaurant."
Last Weekend: "Do not draw on the cat."
Tonight: "No, you can't have an airplane ride, but I'll let you crash."
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Count to infinity
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
No, I have not gotten to go to Samarkand yet. Or Zanzibar. Would like to go to both. And many other places. Posted by cmc (Member # 9549) on :
I never knew that's how you spelled Mythes!!! She's a cool lady.
Now I know!!!
I got a little confused on the short version...
; )
Posted by Euripides (Member # 9315) on :
This thread makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and unmanly inside.
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