You tricked me into reading a chiktract ><
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Hey, Storm:
I think it's a cultural Jatraquero rule to put a Chick Tract warning on all things linked to Chick.
Some of us would just prefer not to read his stuff.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*snicker-snort*
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
*lick*
Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
The lesson we have learned: Masonry, bad. Carpentry, good.
*Goes off to play with his Lincoln-logs*
Posted by Libbie (Member # 9529) on :
Oh, man. I love Chick tracts. They're so pathetically hilarious. And I like how the demon of masonry is apparently a frilled lizard.
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
The God of Masonry says "Grrrr?"
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
The God of Masonry is one of those lizards from Jurassic Park? I'm learning so much!!!
Posted by Samarkand (Member # 8379) on :
"I hate you all!" Ok, it's official, Baphomet talks like a toddler.
Posted by Stephan (Member # 7549) on :
Makes me want to be a mason.
Actually should that link even be allowed? If any masons are on the board I'm sure they would find it highly offensive.
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
Wow. That was wild. It reminds me of Reefer Madness.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
I think being offended by a Jack Chick tract should be a test to post on this forum. Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
That link's allowed for the same reason I'm allowed to make jokes about Mormons eating babies: within the cultural context of this site, it's understood that the content is not to be taken seriously. Most people here assume Storm posted that, not to make fun of Masonry, but to poke fun at Jack Chick.
Which is completely allowable.
Of course...you'd have to know the culture of Hatrack to know that...
Posted by Stephan (Member # 7549) on :
I guess I just wasn't aware of the the site before, complaint withdrawn.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Is there a need to put the word assume? Honestly. I've been on this stupid forum for, like, 4+ years. What's a guy gotta do to make it clear that I hate Masons almost as much as I hate Tony Danza.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Baloney. I heard you singing Elton John's famous lines, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza," in the car the other day.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
That's a lie! A vile lie! You take that back! You take that back, Scott R!
*runs away crying*
Posted by Ron Lambert (Member # 2872) on :
Well, I thought it was interesting. Most people assume Free Masonry is quasi-Christian, but it actually is Occultic. If you don't believe in Christianity or the Occult, you won't see anything to be concerned about. But what if there is a God, and there is a Devil? Why take the risk?
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
I'm just depressed that, for all his research, Chick still isn't capable of distinguishing between Baal, Baphomet, Satan, Lucifer, and Allah. I mean, I know he believes that multiple demons exist; is there some kind of trinitarian thing going on, where he thinks they're all just manifestations of the same underlying demon?
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: What's a guy gotta do to make it clear that I hate Masons almost as much as I hate Tony Danza.
Mud-wrestle Kwea.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
too funny -- those lyrics actually make a lot more sense!
Ummm . . . I mean bad pun. Bad.
ETA: In response to Scott's Tony Danza pun, halfway up the page now. Am I that slow?
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
*lick*
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: *lick*
Are you stalking me again? >_<
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: I'm just depressed that, for all his research, Chick still isn't capable of distinguishing between Baal, Baphomet, Satan, Lucifer, and Allah. I mean, I know he believes that multiple demons exist; is there some kind of trinitarian thing going on, where he thinks they're all just manifestations of the same underlying demon?
I totally didn't get what Islam was doing in that tract against Masonry. It almost looked to me like he inserted a frame from another tract--I think perhaps you've explained it to me a bit. But I guess I'm just naive enough never to have realized that there were Christians out there who think Allah is a demon.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Storm Saxon, put away your Tony Danza popsickles. You'll spoil your dinner.
Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ron Lambert: Well, I thought it was interesting. Most people assume Free Masonry is quasi-Christian, but it actually is Occultic. If you don't believe in Christianity or the Occult, you won't see anything to be concerned about. But what if there is a God, and there is a Devil? Why take the risk?
Can we then cite this whenever someone touts that the United States is a "Christian Nation"?
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
No, I'm licking Rivka, thanks. She's single, you know.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:I'm licking Rivka
You'll STILL spoil your dinner.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
(I am making the joke, Rivka. Don't take it seriously. )
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I don't know why I find the phrase "Big Lodge in the Sky" so funny. Something about a moose head hung on the pearly gates.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
"If you don't believe in Christianity or the Occult, you won't see anything to be concerned about. But what if there is a God, and there is a Devil?"
But if you are a Christian, you don't believe in the Manichean Heresy that Satan is a Power or can be creative. So those who believe that the Devil can do more than tempt and encourage self-deception are occultists, not Christians.
Posted by Ron Lambert (Member # 2872) on :
Uprooted, I agree, it would have been better if the references to Allah and Islam were left out. We don't want to start Moslem riots over a cartoon again, now, do we? Anyway, just as a comment on good style, an effective tract maintains a strict focus, and does not go off on needless tangents. If Chik wants to inveigh against Islam, he should write a separate tract on that. Really give them something to riot about!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: No, I'm licking Rivka, thanks.
*suppresses shudder*
*gets anti-lick restraining order*
*offers Stormy some salt*
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
He already has, Ron. Having harped on something in the past does not stop Chick from interjecting random harping in other tracts.
Posted by Ron Lambert (Member # 2872) on :
Aspectre, Satan is a former angel of God (Lucifer) who fell. Revelation 12 verses 3, 4, and 9 indicate that he induced one third of the angels to join His rebellion and fell with him. He is not in any way equal to or a counterpart to God. But he is still a supernatural being thousands of years old, with an advanced scientific knowledge of how the universe works, so he can do things that to us would seem to be indistinguishable from magic and the miraculous. He also has lots of henchmen to serve as deputies, using many different names.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Der, you see her Sitting der a-cross de way She don' got a lot to say But there's something about her Oh, you don't know why, but you're dying to try You want to--lick de girl!
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
(I'll stop before I get carried away.)
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Too late. Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Awww.
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ron Lambert: Aspectre, Satan is a former angel of God (Lucifer) who fell. Revelation 12 verses 3, 4, and 9 indicate that he induced one third of the angels to join His rebellion and fell with him. He is not in any way equal to or a counterpart to God. But he is still a supernatural being thousands of years old, with an advanced scientific knowledge of how the universe works, so he can do things that to us would seem to be indistinguishable from magic and the miraculous. He also has lots of henchmen to serve as deputies, using many different names.
The devils were created by God.
They rebelled.
There are many copies.
And they have a plan.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: Awww.
Sorry. I think I may just have an irrationally negative reaction to the idea of being licked. Except maybe by a puppy dog or a kitty.
You're not either, so *squick*
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Heh, heh. No worries, Rivka.
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
How do you know he isn't a puppy dog or a kitty? We already have a Puppy who posts here.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I have met Puppy. In fact, I have known Puppy for many years. And Stormy, sir, is no Puppy!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
The truth is out.
This thread proves it.
Rivka is Tony Danza.
Boy was that a shock, especially to Rivka.
Go ahead Jack. Write a tract on that.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dan_raven: Rivka is Tony Danza.
Boy was that a shock, especially to Rivka.
No kidding! Who knew I was Italian?!?
Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
quote:Originally posted by rivka:
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: Awww.
Sorry. I think I may just have an irrationally negative reaction to the idea of being licked. Except maybe by a puppy dog or a kitty.
You're not either, so *squick*
I, on the other hand, almost wish for reincarnation so that I could come back as an ice cream cone.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Perfect.
Stormy, this is Kate.
Kate, meet Stormy.
I hope you two will enjoy many years of salivary satisfaction together.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Hooray for perverts!
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uprooted: too funny -- those lyrics actually make a lot more sense!
Ummm . . . I mean bad pun. Bad.
ETA: In response to Scott's Tony Danza pun, halfway up the page now. Am I that slow?
Actually, it was a Friends reference...
Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
Who knew that by "Nature's God" the founders meant Baphomet!
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
quote:The devils were created by God.
They rebelled.
There are many copies.
And they have a plan.
Lisa wins the thread!
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Actually, it was a Friends reference...
Oh . . . well then my LOL goes to the Friends writers for their funny pun rather than to Scott R!
(same for the "bad pun, bad" chastisement, I guess!)
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
No, I never watched Friends. I heard the joke from my wife's aunt, who told it to us before Friends ever started.
So... nyahh!
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
That explains the slight misquote.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
All right now, I thought it was funny and I'm not going to go checking Snopes to find out if your friend's wife coined it pre-Internet in the days of whatever sitcom Tony Danza used to star in (how old is Elton John's Tiny Dancer anyway?) or if Baphomet himself invented it in Babylonian times!
I think it's Baphomet who is influencing me to keep checking this thread rather than finish the project I'm working on. yeah, that's it.
I keep trying to come up w/ a Baphomet pun but I'm having no success. It seems like it's just there on the tip of my tongue. I lay that down as a challenge to abler punsters than I.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ron Lambert: Well, I thought it was interesting. Most people assume Free Masonry is quasi-Christian, but it actually is Occultic. If you don't believe in Christianity or the Occult, you won't see anything to be concerned about. But what if there is a God, and there is a Devil? Why take the risk?
Bullshit.
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
I like how in the process of getting masonry totally wrong, he also calls Crowley a satanist.
Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
Chink's got the masonry all wrong, too? Yowie. Chimney fires are bad news. Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
If I thought there was a god, I'd pray hard for comrade Chick to be caught at tax evasion, like his fellow obnoxious scumbag, Kent Hovind. The world needs more pictures like this one. Alas, constitutional law and the right of the US government to tax people is apparently not one of the bees in his bonnet.
Hmm. I wonder, does he take requests?
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
I find all this very interesting.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
While I, on the other hand, can't stop thinking about Tony Danza popsicles.
<insert Homer Simpson drool noise>
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Which of these two is more dangerous to American society?
Karl: interested in frozen confections of a former TV sitcom star;
Scott: interested in demonology, the occult, and proving stalwart Christian fundamentalists utterly and completely wrong.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Well, given that Tony Danza pretty clearly has a pact with The Dark One and is a harbinger of the apocalypse, I don't think there's any question it's the Tony Danza fantasies.
I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's a Mason, actually. :ninja:
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Nah. It's me.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Oh, please. You're the Hello Kitty of evil.
Posted by KarlEd (Member # 571) on :
<---wants to be the Hello Kitty of evil. Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:Oh, please. You're the Hello Kitty of evil.
Okay. Works for me. Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
quote: <---wants to be the Hello Kitty of evil. [Grumble]
*pat pat*
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
quote:Originally posted by Storm Saxon: Oh, please. You're the Hello Kitty of evil.
LOL
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Follow the link I posted.
I can tie ribbons on Cthulhu and make him walk the plank.
I am one bad muthah.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
Google is apparently unaware that everyone here is a member of the Vast Left Wing Conspiracy, which offers Dental.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
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