quote:

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(The Earth gets BLOWN UP.)

Arthur

I'm a bit upset about that.

Ford

Yes, I can understand that.

(They fly around the galaxy. They go UNDERGROUND, where they see...)

Arthur

The Earth.

Deep Thought

Forty two.

---

quote:

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Haley Joel Osment

I see dead people.

Bruce Willis

Try talking to them.

Haley Joel Osment

It worked.

---

quote:

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Kevin Costner

Though I am a simple victim of circumstance, a pretender, I am also a metaphor for the rebirth of the collective American unconscious, quickened again from its own ashes.

Townsfolk

That's nice. Deliver these letters, please.

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Posted by Satlin (Member # 1593) on :
 
And people say writing is hard.
 

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Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
 
That site is pretty funny. I really liked

Rocky

quote:

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Rocky LOSES a fight, and an injury prevents him from ever fighting again. Then Rocky WINS a fight, and an injury prevents him from ever fighting again. Then Rocky LOSES a fight. Then Rocky WINS a fight. Then Rocky WINS a fight, and an injury prevents him from ever fighting again. Then Rocky beats up some kids on the street.)

---

quote:

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(Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fall in LOVE, and it is HEARTWARMING.)

America Online

Please note how our program was used in this movie.

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quote:

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Jonah Runs away

Whale: Gulp

3 days later

Whale: Burp

THE END

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Oh, my gosh, I thought some of these were pretty funny but I read Nancy Drew and I DIED LAUGHING. And then came back to laugh some more.

*collects Nancy Drew books, and still re-reads them for kicks now and then*
 

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Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
 
The Collected Work of Jane Austen
By Jane Austen
Ultra-Condensed by Christina Carlson and Peter da Silva

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Female Lead
I secretly love Male Lead. He must never know.
Male Lead
I secretly love Female Lead. She must never know.
(They find out.)


THE END



Even funnier!
The Collected Work of E. E. Cummings
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



i j(ust !
b0.u )
g a ne w &
ht..

t
YpE
w

r
iTe
r

: buti(twon)tma

r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r

ke cap
i,tal;
lett Ers -


THE END
 

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Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
 
I looked at the book-a-minute SF/F ones and read through the OSC books on there. What's the deal with Hart's Hope on there?

quote:

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Hart's Hope
By Orson Scott Card
Ultra-Condensed by David J. Parker


See The Lady Or the Tiger.

The End

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
Thanks, kq! I haven't read Nancy Drew since before I was a teenager, but that just brought back all the plot lines...
 

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Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
They left out the part where Nancy gets knocked unconscious. She has had quite a lot of head injury in the series.
 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree:

quote:

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Reader

I can't believe you cut that tree down, you jerk.


THE END

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