The neighbors have put a nude lawn gnome upon their front lawn.
Really.
He's clasping both hands in front of his crotch, clad in only a cap and boots (!)
...his facial expression clearly saying "Jumping Jehosaphat! I'm in the altogether!"
I didn't mind the bench supported by smiling, sleepy-eyed frogs, but this is opening up a whole new weird area of lawn ornamentation.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
At least he's not anatomically correct.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
Puffy Treat,
I think this is the kind of thing where you really owe us a picture so we can better appreciate the view you now have to live with.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
I don't -want- to photograph it. Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Sneak over late at night and put a pair of boxers on it.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
A pair of boxers would probably conceal the entire gnome, come to think of it.
Posted by TheGrimace (Member # 9178) on :
all the better
Posted by DaisyMae (Member # 9722) on :
I second the need for a photo.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
(Warning: gnome's rear end is visible in link; potty humor)
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
Well, this gnome looks more "classic garden gnome" style...except for being nude and quite flabbergasted about it.
Posted by anti_maven (Member # 9789) on :
Beauty. I'd send the freedom letter, and if that doesn't work, stage a gnome protest march in your own yard. Take pictures.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
Oh, the ignominy.
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
No one better touch my gnomes. I assure you they are happy and well cared for. No liberating necessary.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:I assure you they are happy and well cared for. No liberating necessary.
Well, of course that is what you would say, enslaver of gnomes! What would your gnomes say if they could speak freely and without fear of retribution?
:: Still waiting for pictures of gnude gnomes. Patiently, I might add.::
::Taps feet::
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
[sing] Be it ever so pervy There's no disgrace like gnomes [/sing]
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
Start of songfest:
[sing]Gnomes, gnomes on the range. In the snow and the heat and the rain. A perch for the birds, not saying a word. And now their clothes have been taken away! [/sing]
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by sndrake: :: Still waiting for pictures of gnude gnomes. Patiently, I might add.::
We gneed a gnudegnomes.com.
Lisa
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
[sing]Put your gnome By the road It's the place It belongs Scaring children On the sidewalk Put your gnome By the road[/sing]
(To the tune of Country Road)
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
You know what they say.. Once you go Gnome, you never with Roam.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
With apologies to Lennon/McCartney:
Nudity, a gnome has bared himself for all to see. And though his hands are clasped appropriately, We've still seen gnome nudity.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be, Because that gnome has a ginormous wee, and put it out for all to see.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
[Sing] Something's happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear. There's a gnome with no pants over there Telling me I got to be ware.
Hush, children, what's that sound Nobody look, his pants are down. [/sing]
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
you guys are cracking me up!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
[sing--to Lion Sleeps Tonight] Mighty Gnome man, clotheless gnome man The Gnome freezes tonight. Oooh Mighty gnome man, clotheless gnome man The Gnome freezes at night. (We are skipping the We-mo-wac portion in order that this does not become a gnome-self loving thread. We all know how Papa-Janitor hates those.) [/sing]
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Gnonanism references, Dan? *shakes head sadly*
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
[sing] Gnome bodies - No! The trouble I've seen. [/sing]
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:Gnonanism references, Dan?
That's a gno-gno. Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
See, what you didn't know is that gnome is really an acronym for Gnome Nudity Offends Most Everyone.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
You may say its a sin, but I'm agGnome-stic.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
this thread just keeps getting better!
Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dagonee: Gnonanism references, Dan? *shakes head sadly*
And we thought he was just "clasping his hands".
[ January 04, 2007, 03:48 PM: Message edited by: kmbboots ]
Posted by anti_maven (Member # 9789) on :
Hey Mr. Trouserless Gnome, crouching on the lawn You've no clothes on, and I can see your backside Hey Mr. Trouserless Gnome, crouching on the lawn By your jingle jangle I can tell you're freee-zing
Apologies to Bob Dylan...
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
[sing]I've been to my neighbors with the gnome with no pants It felt weird, like a sick game For at my neighbors you can practice your rants For their ain't no gnome who don't feel no shame. fa la, la, ladi la la..... [/sing]
He's a streaker.
If you define a streaker as a (g)nomadic nudist.
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by anti_maven: Hey Mr. Trouserless Gnome, crouching on the lawn You've no clothes on, and I can see your backside Hey Mr. Trouserless Gnome, crouching on the lawn By your jingle jangle I can tell you're freee-zing
Apologies to Bob Dylan...
No jingle jangles! This is a family forum.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Hey, at least it's not a dingle.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Hey, at least it's not a dingle.
Once again the thread gets +1 to hilarity!
[song] I wish my gnome had some clothes for his bottom Pants and underwear long forgotten LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! Naked Gnome!
[/song]
With apologies to the entire south for desecrating Dixie.
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dagonee: With apologies to Lennon/McCartney:
Nudity, a gnome has bared himself for all to see. And though his hands are clasped appropriately, We've still seen gnome nudity.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be, Because that gnome has a ginormous wee, and put it out for all to see.
Dagonee, you're killin' me!
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Si-elent Sprite Na-a-aked at night. All is seen All in sight Round plump tucus Left cheek and right. Every bit of him seen in moon light Peek you perverts in passing Peek at him passing perverts.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
*joins in the song*
Ama-zing gnome, clad just in hat That scarred a one like me; It takes a lot (well, he's got that) To make me sad to see.
This gnome, though co-vered by his hands Is more than I'd conceived; I thought I was jaded and coarse, Now, I know, less than I believed.
So if this gnome, all clad in naught Can make a prude of me Perhaps he should be covered up Or take inside his wee.
(I think you should print these songs out and paper their door with them. Or leave them in the mailbox.)
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
We shall not fail, nor flag! We shall gnome on to the end!
I think 'gnome' is just an inherently funny word, that makes everything funny by its mere insertion. "Luke, I am your gnome!"
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: (I think you should print these songs out and paper their door with them. Or leave them in the mailbox.)
Hear, hear!!
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Dingle dangle, I do declare I am too young to be reading this thread. Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
"Gnonanism references, Dan? *shakes head sadly*"
Waddja expect?
Gnome man is an island Abandoned by his elf. He seeks the peace of continence, hand upon his main Lest his feet be washed away by the wee. Your rope is the less As well, as his promontory were so much grander than thine own, or even thine wishes were. Each gnome's clapper diminishes thee, And lessens thy bells in kind. Therefore, seek not to know For whom the gnome pours, Lest he pours on thee...
...'stead of in the john.....done.
[ January 05, 2007, 10:43 AM: Message edited by: aspectre ]
Posted by anti_maven (Member # 9789) on :
Locke this thread. I've Donne had enough. I Kant take no more I tells ya.
Posted by Kale (Member # 6460) on :
(thiefing Lisa's song and running off with it...)
"Gnome body shows what's best left unseen; Gnome body shows its gnonads. Gnome body shows what's likely obscene, Gnomes, amok, and unclad."
[ January 05, 2007, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: Kale ]
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Who's the naked little elf That's a sex machine all to himself? GNOME! Ya darn right!
Who is the sprite that would freeze at night For his brother man? GNOME! Can you dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out When there's frost all about? GNOME! Right On!
They say this nude elf is a bad mother SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I'm talkin' 'bout Gnome. THEN WE CAN DIG IT!
He's a nude lawn ornament But no one understands him but his woman NAKED GNOME!
[ January 05, 2007, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
You know, I hadn't returned to this thread after the first couple posts. I'm really regretting that now; the Funny is STRONG in this thread!
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Posted by Frosty (Member # 10052) on :
When I was a young lad I used to like girls, I played with their bodies and fondled their curls. Till my girl ran off and wanted to roam Oh youll never get treated that way by a gnome
(chorus) Then its gnome, gnome, i want a gnome Ive never had anything quite like a gnome Ive had many women, most of them in my home But ive never had anything quite like a gnome
When im in the mood for some good fun I go to the closet and get me some rum I go into the garden and sit in the grass Cause the gnomes always come when im drunk off my ***
(chorus)
Ive done it with elves, goblins, and a troll Id do it with a warlock, but hed steal my soul Ive done it while laying out on all the loam But its never the same when your out with a gnome
(chorus)
Now ive died, gone to heaven, to death i succumb I show up at those gates witha bottle of rum Now they're bound to inquire as to my grin And ill wind up in hell humping gnomes again.
(chorus)
Posted by TMedina (Member # 6649) on :
Has Daisy gone Gnome? Alaska.
-Trevor
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
A gnome's life ain't all just lookin' pretty in the garden ya know.
Posted by anti_maven (Member # 9789) on :
With his nether garments woefully undone 'fully undone And his bottom on display to everyone Everyone. With his bottom out and shining in the sun in the sun A naked gnome is not a happy one Happy one.
*grabs coat, hails taxi*
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
I look at you, gnome, as I'm singing this jingle While my eyes gently bleed I look at the floor - anywhere but your dingle Still my eyes gently bleed I don't know why nobody told you not to expose yourself I don't know how your sculptor goes there Or why anybody bought you[/While My Guitar Gently Weeps]
Meh. Not my best effort. But still.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
When his moon's in you eye Like two small Calzone Pies That Gnomes Naked.
Where his hands they do linger Intertwined, "That his finger?" That Gnomes Naked.
Posted by Valentine014 (Member # 5981) on :
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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![[Evil Laugh]](graemlins/evillaugh.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
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![[Monkeys]](graemlins/monkeys.gif)