Well, I don't know if I'd call it a "car" exactly. I bought a vehicle. And I fear I've made a grave mistake. If I've really walked almost everywhere for these past few years to prove my commitment to the idea of going Green (which is what I tell myself sometimes, and other times not), then what on earth would possess me to by a 17 year-old 3/4 ton SUV that gets 12 miles to the gallon and spits exhaust like a steel factory in 1902? But when the kindly gentleman with the hesitant smile was showing me this beast of a rusted hulked-out monster of a vehicle, I just kept thinking to myself, "Jackpot, Troy; this is the perfect vehicle to have in case of a zombie attack." (I'd like to pretend I'm just kidding, here -- but really: that's what I kept thinking.)
I realized he was more of a pragmatic guy -- not one of us dreamers, maybe -- after he looked at me like I was insane when I said, "This car would be great in case of a zombie outbreak. Think of all the survivors I could fit in this thing."
I wish, really, that I hadn't written that check. I guess I'm stuck with this thing. I got carried away for about a half hour fantasizing about being a survivor in a world overrun by zombies. Unfortunately that was the half hour it took me to decide to buy this vehicle.
Learn from my mistakes, kids.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
You're going to feel a whole lot different when the apocalypse comes.
Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
Zombie preparedness is never a mistake.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
You know, with the right paint job, some front-mounted spikes, and a listing in the Yellow Pages, your rusty SUV might even pay for itself.
Posted by Boothby171 (Member # 807) on :
TL,
Count your blessings, friend!
I was in my tin-box little Toyota Echo when I was attacked and eaten by zombies. I didn't have a chance. You do. In the months since, my zombie friends and I have been able to attack and consume drivers from almost every sort of vehicle, except those old, rusty, 3/4 ton SUV's.
But seriously, there is something called a "cooling off" period, but I doubt very much that you can use it when you buy from another guy on the street. You CAN use it if you buy a used car (or even a new car) from a dealership, though.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
So, did you have ANY other reasons for buying it?
Posted by Xavier (Member # 405) on :
I would never buy an SUV for Zombie preparedness, but I have been tempted to buy a shotgun for some time, for partly that reason .
Seriously kid, your SUV is nothing for zombies, unless you have a 12-gauge shotgun in the back, with PLENTY of ammo.
You've gone this far, now you need to go all the way.
Posted by Lavalamp (Member # 4337) on :
And remember, it'll get a lot more than 12 mpg if you only drive it downhill.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
Install a turret the first chance you get.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I don't know what to say. You've made a terrible error. Well, we learn from our mistakes. You are about to graduate to "Savant."
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
If you really want to make it cool, wherever you go you have to make sure people can hear the theme song to Sanford and Son coming from your truck.
Posted by Lavalamp (Member # 4337) on :
you should paint the name Carbon BigFoot on it in honor of your newly increased carbon footprint.
Bob 4:17 "And the number of the beast is 'four by four.'"
Posted by Earendil18 (Member # 3180) on :
You could go around campaigning...for...something! Paint your van up, add some turrets and spikes as has been suggested, and go for a (short) road trip! Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Hmmm. Interesting pros & cons list:
Pros: Protection from Zombies
Cons: Definitely NOT Green
Posted by Euripides (Member # 9315) on :
Surely zombie preparedness wasn't the only reason?
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
You could always paint it green. Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Zombies aren't environmentally green, either. I'm just sayin.'
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)