"I promise you, the number ten will not shoot lasers at you."
(My daughter is afraid of the number 10 when it pops up on her CD player.)
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Oh, my.
Emma has been refusing to walk because "Oh my! The car is going to catch us!" That sounds cute when you read it, but it is said with a look and tone of absolute terror. She also doesn't like my old rubber duckie, which has a sailor hat on. "No! No!" she screams. "I don't want the big duck, I DON'T LIKE THE BIG DUCK!" When asked why, "'Cause I'm SCARED the big duck! I like the small duck!" When the issue is pressed, "The big duck has a hat on and I DON'T LIKE IT!"
Of course, I'm one to talk. I know as a child and even now as an adult, a lot of things bothered/bother me that don't phase normal people. Part of it is personality, part of it is strong associations that get formed easily, and part of it is the SPD.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Seriously Pissed-off Duck?
Posted by Tstorm (Member # 1871) on :
To my boss at work:
"I've got to run home and grab my toaster, I'll be back in a few minutes."
(I work at a Community College, and not as an appliance repair man.) The toaster was for a presentation by Kevin Roberts ("The Food Dude") that evening. My boss thought it was an odd thing to say, too, until I explained it. Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
"Next time, can't you put a ham sandwich in the VCR instead? Peanut butter is a lot harder to clean up... No, son. No jelly, either."
"I'm going to be late to work because my dog ate my cellphone." (seriously, he did)
"Son, maybe we should pick a name for the dog that your grandparents can pronounce. I don't think 'Donatello' translates well into Spanish."
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
"Good poop!"
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Apparently, when I was a toddler, I was terrified of asphalt. My parents couldn't put me down in a parking lot. Eventually, they realized that I was okay with the painted lines in between the spaces. So they'd put me down on one of those, and I'd walk along them until I reached the sidewalk.
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
"Can Mommy have your booger? Please?"
(Lego HATES to have his nose touched, so it's always a struggle to keep him from looking like a snotty-nosed hooligan.)
Posted by Nato (Member # 1448) on :
Stop...licking...your...brother.
Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nighthawk: "Next time, can't you put a ham sandwich in the VCR instead? Peanut butter is a lot harder to clean up... No, son. No jelly, either."
"I'm going to be late to work because my dog ate my cellphone." (seriously, he did)
"Son, maybe we should pick a name for the dog that your grandparents can pronounce. I don't think 'Donatello' translates well into Spanish."
Why doesn't it?
It's an Italian name after all...it shouldn't be hard to pronounce.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
I love this thread.
"ll" is pronounced kinda like "y" in Spanish.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
Not only that, but I'm from the school of throught that dog names should not have more than two syllables.
Posted by scholar (Member # 9232) on :
My dog ate my cell phone last night. He threw up pieces of it this morning- in my bed (it was thundering so we let him on our bed- normally we don't).
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
"Put down that axe right now!" (Toy axe. But I still started laughing when I said it.)
I have also been known to admonish the kids not to lick each other.
About the number ten... When Robert was one year old, we went to the beach. As we approached the surf, he started screaming, "That way! THAT WAY!" And pointing away from the surf. I tried to splash his toes in the ocean while I was holding him, and he climbed me like a monkey. I couldn't even get him to play in the sand above the high tide line at LOW tide. He got over it at about age four.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
That sounds familiar, Olivet. We all went into the water and started swimming as babies, in both man-made and natural bodies of water. Our parents took us to the beach every so often and then suddenly when i was about three I was randomly TERRIFIED of going near the ocean water. They couldn't even get me to put my toes in. I screamed and crawled much like your little boy and wasn't happy until my parents let me go sit by the towel with a little shovel.
Every time after that I was fine. Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
When I was about six or so, I suddenly became afraid of mud puddles. Walking down the street. Notice mudd puddle in front of me. Stop and scream my head off. Mom would roll her eyes and calmly walk me around it.
I think it was because I saw my cousin go wading in the silt-bottomed stream behind our house. His feet sank into the silt as he walked, and he accidentally stepped on a huge piece of glass. He came out of the mud with his foot bleeding profusely.
But at the time I couldn't tell her WHY mud puddles suddenly scared the bejebus out of me. I think that is also why I had mud-monster nightmares when I was that age.
It's weird that I can remember it now, but I bet a lot of the weird stuff that scares my kids has to do with things that are only tenuously related to the things they are afraid of. If I could only figure it out...
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: Seriously Pissed-off Duck?
*giggles*
Sensory Processing Disorder.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Wow, I just looked that up to see what it was, and the list of symptoms was like a detailed description of my personality Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Lucky you. I have it, my brother has it worse, my aunt has it mildly, my second cousin has it really bad, one of my daughters has it... There's definitely a genetic component of some sort running through my family.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
Oy .
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
"Why are you torturing the frogs with a stick?"
"No, Skyler, do not torture the frogs with the garden hose."
"fine. Torture the frogs with the garden hose. Whatever."
Posted by Carrie (Member # 394) on :
This isn't in terms of parenting, but I never thought I'd say it anyway:
"Well, he's dead, so it'd be necrophilia before it'd be incest."
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I started reading about SPD and I found it fascinating, but then I had to shut my computer down because it makes a whining noise that I can't take. Posted by Sopwith, again (Member # 9457) on :
"Yes, Daddy has boogers, too."
"Well honey, it looked like a little stack of cannonballs in her diaper."
"No Babydot, we don't tell the preacher that you farted."
"Don't worry Babydot, Rev. Hank will be okay in a minute or two."
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
"No french kissing the dog."
also (to the dog)
"No french kissing the baby."
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I think that goes back to the "stop licking your brother" comments.
Posted by martha (Member # 141) on :
A and B were playing a fantasy-type make-believe game. M: Hey, no killing each other! B: But A died on purpose!
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
"Well, you see, the plastic platter spins, and this arm with a needle at the end of it moves across the surface, and the vibrations make music." "But, uncle, that sounds so archaic." "Well, yes, and thanks for pointing that out."
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
"Count to infinity one more time and I'm taking you out to the car."
Best thing I've had to say. "Ok, you can stay up five more minutes to eat your broccoli" (It was extra helpings. The kid loves his veggies.)
"We can't go to dinner until you put your pants on."
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
(I love this thread! )
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
quote:"We can't go to dinner until you put your pants on."
This one gets endless variations at our house... Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Okay, doesn't quite fit in this thread but I have to tell it. Today the Princess and KPC had this conversation:
Abba (to Mommy): "...and wants to know about shipping to Canada." Emma (interjecting herself, as is her habit lately): "Can-a-ah?" Abba: "Yes, Canada. Ca-na-da." Emma: "Ca-na-da. We don't need Canada!" Abba (choking back a laugh): "We don't?" Emma (thinking about it): "No... Mommy needs Canada!" Abba: "Oh, really? Do you know what Canada is?" Emma: "Yeah." Abba: "What is it?" Emma (after thinking about it): "A dinosaur!"
Posted by pfresh85 (Member # 8085) on :
KQ, that was really good. I just have this image in my head of a little girl smiling confident and saying that Canada is a dinosaur.
Posted by Evie3217 (Member # 5426) on :
quote:"Son, maybe we should pick a name for the dog that your grandparents can pronounce. I don't think 'Donatello' translates well into Spanish."
That's still my favorite. I almost snarfed when I read it.
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nighthawk: "Well, you see, the plastic platter spins, and this arm with a needle at the end of it moves across the surface, and the vibrations make music." "But, uncle, that sounds so archaic." "Well, yes, and thanks for pointing that out."
I just explained to my dad (57 and technically deficient) that he does not have to rewind his DVD's before he returns them to the rental place.
I had a good laugh at it but I don't think he was too amused.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
Most of my funny ones come from teaching:
"I don't want to hear any more beeping or whirring. Or clicking, John."
Kid: I'm sad because me and John broke up. Kira: You're nine.
Kid: I want to get a part-time job, but I don't think I'll be able to get one. Kira: Why not? Kid: Well, I was working over at the Wendy's and I stabbed my manager. Kira: Oh. Why would you do that? Kid: He made me mad. Kira: Of course.
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
This one wasn't said by me but one of the other coaches today at a game. These are six and under kids.
Coach: I thought you said you had to go to the bathroom. Kid: I don't anymore. Coach: What do you mean you don't anymore? Kid: I just don't.
It was her turn to bat.
Posted by rollainm (Member # 8318) on :
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