I’m not sure the Transformers commercials for GM cars is working like they planned, unless the goal was to leave me terrified of climbing into a 2009 Chevy Camero for fear it would turn into a city-trashing behemoth with me still in it.
That wasn’t the message? It’s the one I got.
Many commercials seem oblivious to what viewers take away, relying on cuteness or snarkiness or just a love of weird CGI instead of, you know, promoting their product. I’d like to suggest that perhaps a bit more thought would be good.
What did I learn from the MasterCard commercial where zoo animals use an ailing zookeeper’s credit card to purchase helpful medicines and soothing refreshments for him while he remains sick at home? Why, I learned that identity theft is so easy with a MasterCard that a freaking elephant can use it and no one even asks for ID. Thanks MasterCard! Good to know!
[ July 06, 2007, 01:40 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
Posted by Puppy (Member # 6721) on :
Laughed out loud at work Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
I knee jerked into my desk and hurt my shin *OWE*, I really need to read your columns while wearing shin guards and to make sure I clear my desk of any beverages.
Really good work this week Chris!
edit: Somebody needs to find out who that smarmy free credit report guy is. Find out his actual credit score, and PUBLISH it.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
Um.. I don't think I've seen any of those commercials..... Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
Awesome as usual, but you left out my favorite pet advertising trend: "this product will help you deceive your significant other" like in the Twix commercials.
Advertising targeted at people who are trying to get away with something may be the best evidence yet that humans are, indeed, a fallen race.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I always love your columns! This one was especially fun because my husband and I have discussed some of these very same commercials and come to the same conclusions you did.
I wish you'd done the ad with the lady talking to the lightbulb about getting her husband an HD tv: "Buy him an HD tv to show you love him and he'll show he loves you by buying you shiny things!"
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
I've seen all these commercials...and quite frankly Chris has performed a valuable public service by revealing the terrible truth about that "heartwarming" elephant-with-stolen-card ad. Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
The one I hate is the "sheeple" Scion commercial where the guy gets decapitated. If your friend stops to talk to you while in his Scion, your head will fall off.
-pH
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
As always, hysterical. Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
I remember an old Scope commercial where a guy is amazed and delighted by a surprise birthday party...then in front of ALL his friends and relatives, his wife sniffs his mouth and goes: "Whoa, Honey...your breath stinks!"
She then lead the guy by hand to the bathroom to swish and gargle, before finally allowing him to join his own party.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:This is why I watch all my shows on DVDs these days.
You sure know a lot of current commercials for never watching TV. Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
A lot of these commercials are currently in play at the major chain movie theaters.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I left out LOTS of annoying ones, believe me.
Jim-Me: good point. Remember the Mentos commercials? The ones that explained how you could be as rude as you liked to anyone as long as you popped a Mento and smiled afterwards?
There's also the Heineken ad with the incredibly annoying earworm of a song that I refuse to look up for fear it will lodge in my brain and stay until I die.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by Chris Bridges: I’m not sure the Transformers commercials for GM cars is working like they planned, unless the goal was to leave me terrified of climbing into a 2009 Chevy Camero for fear it would turn into a city-trashing behemoth with me still in it.
Camaro!
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jon Boy: Camaro!
I was tempted, but I kept it to myself.
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
quote:Camaro!
Bitchin' Camaro!
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
Hilarious as usual, Chris! Say, how do I get my newspaper to print your column?
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by MrSquicky:
quote:Camaro!
Bitchin' Camaro!
Glad I was not the only one to hear that phrase in my head.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
*does doughnuts on MrSquicky's lawn*
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
My favorite Mentos commercials were the creepy ones...the ones where unattractive, vaguely disturbing European adults pretending to be Americans were stalking clean-cut, perpetually smiling Euro-teens pretending to be Americans.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Camaro is now fixed. You may resume your doughnutting.
Shigosei: have your paper contact my boss, you can e-mail me for contact info. Of course, then I'd have to actually get them out on time...
[ July 06, 2007, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: Chris Bridges ]
Posted by AvidReader (Member # 6007) on :
I also want Sasquatch to eat the beef jerky guys, but I love Chad the AllTell guy. He reminds me of a suave version of the janitor on Scrubs. He's totally tormenting those guys, but not in a way that they can go complain about to his boss. Chad's a pimp.
And the Snickers song is cool. I find myself singing it at work around snack time. Of course, that could be a reaction to the rice cakes, so don't read too much into that.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
So, how you getting down to the shore?
quote:The Visa commercials where everyone is whirling in well-oiled, choreographed movements at bakeries or garden centers everything crashes to a halt because someone dared to pay with cash? That doesn't make me want to get a Visa. It makes me want to start paying for everything in pennies.
Brilliant! (I had the same thought myself, except I wanted to pay out of the big change jar. "Oops - that's a button.")
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Regarding the Visa commercials, me too.
I don't mind the snickers guy with the guitar, but the Starburst berries and cream commercial earned a slightly more colorful version of "What the heck!" from me. And the Wendy's commercial...I still don't get that one at all.
Great job, Chris!
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
How about "Keep Robert Goulet away"? Is that shudder-inducing, or what? There's something Shatneresque about that commercial, but with a bigger "hunh?" factor. I don't even know what snack I'm supposed to buy and eat to keep him away, but I'm afraid that if the brand recognition ever sinks in it will come along with a strong dose of negative conditioning to make me veer away from the food with revulsion.
Posted by rollainm (Member # 8318) on :
That was pretty good, Chris.
I like the Snickers song, though. I even sing along sometimes. It's catchy.
Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
Don't forget the Quiznos commercial from a few years ago with Sponge Monkeys - yeah, I want to eat food advertised by mutant rodents (and the commercials caused my younger daughter to moan and cry until we changed channels) and "plug it in, plug it in" which makes my daughter yell back at the TV, "You plug it in!"
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
quote:Don't forget the Quiznos commercial from a few years ago with Sponge Monkeys - yeah, I want to eat food advertised by mutant rodents (and the commercials caused my younger daughter to moan and cry until we changed channels)
(I have a certain fondness for this site that I can't really explain...)
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Emma ADORES that song (and others on the site.) For a long time every time she saw the moon, she would sing in a gravelly yet high-pitched little voice, "I like a moon, it is close to us, I like a MOOOOOOON... Not as much as a spoon..."
It was darling.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
(Oh, and I like the Robert Goulet commercial. In small doses. Diamond Nuts. That's the brand.)
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Kill it!! KILL IT!!!
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
I love rathergood, though I think the sponge monkeys are evil and stupid.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Just saw another, a kitty litter that's so good your cat has to hire a bloodhound to find it.
Except, you know, I'd really like my cat to be able to easily find his litter box. I really would.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Those male enhancement commericials. They drive me insane because they use the words male enhancement all the time and they have all of this... innuendo and they say words like firmly. Or you'll get the ads where the woman is all like, "My husband is a wonderful lover thanks to this male enhancement product." Now how is that supposed to make a man feel?
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
I had those commercials listed in the first draft, but was running into problems describing my discomfort while staying family-friendly. But geez, "Bob" looks like whatever his male enhancement drugs are doing involves a great deal of blistering. And I notice that while his face is locked into a wildly grinning rictus, his wife seems none too happy...
Posted by The Reader (Member # 3636) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: (Oh, and I like the Robert Goulet commercial. In small doses. Diamond Nuts. That's the brand.)
Emerald Nuts.
Remember Enormous Neighbors and Envious Nomads?
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
"They drive me insane because they use the words male enhancement all the time and they have all of this... innuendo and they say words like firmly."
hee hee. You said firmly. Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
I still don't understand why I'd want to by a family van that skids sideways in the dust. That is a reason not to buy your freakin' van, sir.
Oh, and hey, Chris? Don'cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
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