1. Run around the villain so fast that the evil emotions get sucked right out of them.
2. Talk to them about the time they broke a yellow crayon in kindergarten.
3. Tie a convenient gargoyle around their midriff.
4. Be friends with a talking dog.
Posted by 0Megabyte (Member # 8624) on :
Well, problems:
1. This one depends on the villian having evil emotions in the first place. First, some of them do NOT, and are simply foolishly misguided. That doesn't count the greater threat, which comes from those who feel nothing at all, and simply want to spread that emptiness.
2. Hmm. Depends. Some of the supervillians may be helped, but the ones who followed it up with massacring their classmates, well... those will be problematic. Some of them you won't get through psychoanalysis.
3. Super strength would beat this one easily. Or psychic powers.
4. Hmm. The villian or the person doing the defeating?
Ahh. This isn't about that new Underdog movie, is it?
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
I can't figure out if ANY of those are actual villains.
Posted by 0Megabyte (Member # 8624) on :
Anyway, beating supervillians depends on several things:
What genre the show is, how powerful the villian is, and further, what age group is designed to watch. Further, the amount of sillyness counts, as well as the amount of forethought put into the story.
And then there's the situations where the bad guys win, and all is lost. Not common, yes, but since in the real world evil triumphs as often as good, it's not at all inconcievable.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
1. This was the way Tim Allen's character beat the Big Bad in 2006's Zoom. No, really.
2. This was a playful reference to the way Xander got through to Willow during the Season Six Buffy the Vampire Slayer finale.
3. This was the way the Batman of the Tim Burton films killed the Joker. Kinda weird, eh?
4. As Beren and Luthien found out, not even the darkest of Dark Lords can defeat a talking dog. They're just so cool.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
Awww see I have not seen Zoom or any Buffy.
My memory is alittle fuzzy about Batman 1 I guess.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Real villian defeats:
1. Waste money faster
2. Two words: "n, o"
3. Head them off at the pass
Hobbes Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
1. Shoot them while they're on the John.
2. Convince them that perhaps you have the strength after all.
3. Trick them into setting their torpedoes to arm at too short a distance.
Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Guesses:
1. I know I've seen it but I can't place it
2. The Princess Bride
3. The Hunt for Red October
Right?
Hobbes Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
The first is from one of the Song of Ice and Fire books - I won't spoil it for anyone, but somebody shoots somebody while they're using the toilet. Posted by Hobbes (Member # 433) on :
Well I suppose with all the talk of violence in the media it wont surprise anyone to hear that I'm pretty sure I've seen someone shot while using the toilet on TV.
Hobbes Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by Hobbes: Well I suppose with all the talk of violence in the media it wont surprise anyone to hear that I'm pretty sure I've seen someone shot while using the toilet on TV.
Hobbes
I know I've seen a T-Rex devour a lawyer that was sitting on the john.
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
1. Find the macguffin!
2. Beat the macguffin with a bigger macguffin!
3. Destroy them with the power of love that they will never know!
4. Play the macguffin against them with macguffin know-how that they lack!
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
5. Have a powerless, wisecracking teen cram the MacGuffin into their chest cavity, killing them in the massive flux of CGI FX energies then released.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Have them obtain the MacGuffin, but then be destroyed by their failure to successfully wield its power.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
Didn't James Bond kill a Russian on the toilet in Goldeneye?
[ August 04, 2007, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: MEC ]
Posted by dantesparadigm (Member # 8756) on :
Bruce Willis Kills John Travolta in Pulp Fiction while the later is just coming out of the bathroom, but I don't think that counts.
I find the best way to ensure a villain dies is to just send a big vat of acid to his secret hideout. During the action, one way or another, he'll end up in it. I like to think of it as the 'final solution'.
*ducks and runs from the pun police*
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Villains only die by falling into acid at the end of a movie, so you have to be careful with that. If it's the beginning of a movie, or if it's a franchise, you risk turning them into supervillains.
Posted by 0Megabyte (Member # 8624) on :
Hmm.
Very true.
But that's even more fun, now isn't it?
Posted by BlueWizard (Member # 9389) on :
Has anyone mentioned -
A poke in the eye with a sharp stick?
It worked for Neville Longbottom in 'Order of the Phoenix'.
Also, 'shot on the can', Clint Eastwood's 'Unforgiven' (1992).
Just a thought.
Steve/bboyminn
Posted by Earendil18 (Member # 3180) on :
quote:Originally posted by Puffy Treat:
4. As Beren and Luthien found out, not even the darkest of Dark Lords can defeat a talking dog. They're just so cool.
Geeeeek.
How many times have you read that story? Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
I actually READ the Silmarillion (I assume that's where the dog comes in) but I don't remember it. My favorite part from that is where Ungoliant eats herself.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Mis-spell 'villain' as 'villian' until the miscreant undergoes Total Grammar Collapse! (All supervillains are, of course, member of the Grammar Communist Secret Police.)
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Duh, make sure that both cups contain Iocaine powder, but build up an immunity to it.
Posted by Battler03 (Member # 10453) on :
1. Break into the courtroom and execute him, with the help of your father and Willem Dafoe.
2. Let him kill you, because you are his retainer, after all; but only after killing his entire family, because they were plotting to kill him.
3. Realize he is your alter-ego. Shoot yourself through the cheek, which equals shooting him in the head.
4. Cast him as the main supporting role in your play about Vietnam (thereby getting him on your side.)
4a. Realize that the girl you've both been pining for is out of your reach; help him get her.
5. Stop taking your feelings suppressants. Join the underground. Realize that he is using the image of the founder to manipulate people. Have a spectacular sword and gun duel with Taye Diggs and then the true villain.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
Kill him while he is monologuing.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: Have them obtain the MacGuffin, but then be destroyed by their failure to successfully wield its power.
Hey look its the plot of Indiana Jones ROTLA, and TLC.
Have the villain, and the hero fight over the tiny bag containing the MacGuffin. The hero should then start babbling in Hindi, which will scare the hell out of the villain, thus allowing the hero to hit him once solidly. The villain should then fall down to his certain demise.
You could however argue, the MacGuffin burning the hands of the villain, but not Indy makes the movie pretty much the same thing.
I just realized that Indiana Jones movies have really dumb ways of killing the villain on paper, but when you see the movie for the first time, it seems so cool.
Edited to be Rivka friendly.
[ August 05, 2007, 02:02 PM: Message edited by: BlackBlade ]
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Spelling ≠ grammar
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
quote:The first is from one of the Song of Ice and Fire books - I won't spoil it for anyone, but somebody shoots somebody while they're using the toilet.
*snerffle* Not quite!
Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
quote:Originally posted by Leonide:
quote:The first is from one of the Song of Ice and Fire books - I won't spoil it for anyone, but somebody shoots somebody while they're using the toilet.
*snerffle* Not quite!
Is it stabs? Dang, it's been a long time since I read that one. Memory... failing... brain... old...
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I do believe that if you allow the villain to strike you down, you will eventually overcome him, because in death you will be even more formidable than you were in life.
Or something.
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
MightyCow: I'm pretty sure the level of weaponry in the entire Song of Fire and Ice series has in no way reach rifles, pistols, or the like. Posted by scholar (Member # 9232) on :
Maybe it was an arrow?
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
Or an incredibly powerful boomeranging fart?
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Let villain two hurt you a lot so that villain one has an attack of conscience and kills villain two. It helps to have villain one be your dad.
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
Well, it couldn't hurt, right?
Posted by Aegon (Member # 7017) on :
There are other methods of shooting than a gun.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Set up McGyveresque trap from surrounding junk.
Have two goofiest members of gang lead villain into trap.
Once trap doesn't work, the goofy members will trip and fall and end up capturing villain.
Remove rubber mask to produce real villain.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Shot is the correct verb for what happens to the villain in Song of Ice and Fire. "Shot" does not mean it must be with a gun.
Posted by Pegasus (Member # 10464) on :
quote:Originally posted by Aegon: There are other methods of shooting than a gun.
Like a crossbow bolt for example... Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
1. Get him to say his name backwards.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
1. Pour a bucket of water on her, in an attempt to extinguish her burning clothes.
2. Allow them to get infected with earth's super potent viruses.
3. Be exceedingly beautiful, and also rather vapid and helpless, so that you will not want for foolish heroes to show up and rescue you, killing the super-villain in the process.
4. Marry him.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
quote: Set up McGyveresque trap from surrounding junk.
Have two goofiest members of gang lead villain into trap.
Once trap doesn't work, the goofy members will trip and fall and end up capturing villain.
Remove rubber mask to produce real villain.
rinse...repeat ∞ times
Posted by SoaPiNuReYe (Member # 9144) on :
1. Tie his shoelaces together.
Posted by Boothby171 (Member # 807) on :
Well, I know that #4 in Puffy's first post is none other than Dean Koontz. You can actually pick almost any of his novels to find the super-villain who loves pulling his victim's eyes out of their sockets, being pursued by a hyper-intelligent dog.
In fact, I just "read" the audio book "Brother Thomas," and I remember calling my wife part-way in to the first disc, while driving to work, to tell her, "Honey! The hyper-intelligent dog just showed up!"
The whole pulling-the-eyes-out thing didn't happen until later.
--Steve
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
quote:1. Get him to say his name backwards.
What's that from?
Lead him on a long cross town chase before coming back to where you started. Jump over a fence, let it crash down on to him. Then when he's revealed to be alive, but hurt, rescue him by lifting the fence up. Befriend him.
Rather convoluted and tends only to work best with animals. Strong runner required Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
Traditionally, Superman defeated the 5th Dimensional imp Mr. Mxyzptlk by making the villain say his name backwards.
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
In PAD's Supergirl, there was an Incubus who was molesting girls in their dreams. So Linda set herself up as a victim, drew the Incubus into the bathroom and turned on the shower, and then remarked that in her dreams, all the water in the pipes is holy water. Incubus-guy burnt up on the spot.
Posted by Tresopax (Member # 1063) on :
It's not novel anymore these days, but I think tossing an arch supervillain's jewelry into a volcano was a pretty strange way to defeat him.
Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
quote:Originally posted by Puffy Treat: Traditionally, Superman defeated the 5th Dimensional imp Mr. Mxyzptlk by making the villain say his name backwards.
Trick him into having sex with a woman, turning him into a man and nullifying all his wild, natural powers.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Enkidu wasn't really a villain, though.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Javert:
quote:Originally posted by Puffy Treat: Traditionally, Superman defeated the 5th Dimensional imp Mr. Mxyzptlk by making the villain say his name backwards.
Not so much. Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
Wow. That was exquisitely painful to watch. Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
He started out as a villain. It was only the calming power of gettin' it on that made him friendly. Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Nah, he was just a partisan of a different order (until he discovered the miracle of sweet, sweet lovin').
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
How's this. Let the bad guys capture you and lock you away in a garage full of tools and welding equipment and at least on fully functional vehicle so you can build your own tank, flame thrower, and automatic weapons.
You then attack the bad guys, managing to blow up all of their vehicles, but in such a way that they all survive, but that it looks really really cool. Then you tie them up and disappear behind some cheap disguises before the army guys looking for your show up.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
quote:Originally posted by rivka:
quote:Originally posted by Javert:
quote:Originally posted by Puffy Treat: Traditionally, Superman defeated the 5th Dimensional imp Mr. Mxyzptlk by making the villain say his name backwards.
I'm in awe that someone actually tried to pull that. Too bad he just ended up looking like an imbecile.
Posted by 0Megabyte (Member # 8624) on :
Hmm.
How about having a demon write the villian's name in a notebook with the power to kill anyone whose name is written into it?
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
Recruiting the supervillain and putting him in charge of the small southeast asian country whose dictator you recently deposed.
--Enigmatic
Posted by vonk (Member # 9027) on :
Go back in time and convince Samuel Taylor Coleridge not to finish the second portion of Kubla Khan and instead include an albatross in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Easy as that.
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
You could poetically remind the villain how little power he has over you.
(Hint: none.)
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
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Juxtapose