It's by the ever-talented mollyringwraith over on Livejournal. Her LotR parodies as well as her HP:HBP parody are all fantastic. Check them out if you haven't yet. This one doesn't disappoint. Here's a spoilery snippet:
quote:RON: Happy seventeenth, Harry. Time you learned some anatomy, nudge nudge, wink wink. He gives HARRY a book about charming the pants off young witches. HARRY: Thanks. Whooo, those are some nice illustrations! RON: (and I quote) You'll be surprised, it's not all about wandwork, either. READERS: Well, that's good. Seventeen-year-old boys really do think with their wands too much. GINNY: Psst. Come into my room a sec, Harry. HARRY: Okay. GINNY: Here's your gift. My tongue, for the next half hour. HARRY: Sweet! Remind me to break up with you more often! ROWLING tells us they kiss in a way they've never kissed before, which makes you wonder what exactly they were doing in all those precious stolen moments on the Hogwarts grounds that Harry keeps reminiscing about. Playing Scrabble, evidently. Unfortunately HARRY now only gets to enjoy this gift for about ten seconds, for then RON flings open the door. RON: Till I'm getting some, no one gets any! HARRY: Hermione? Work on that, will you? HERMIONE: (cringing) Right. Sorry. At dinner, SCRIMGEOUR shows up. SCRIMGEOUR: Dumbledore left Ron a magic anti-flashlight. The question I ask you is: why?? RON: Dunno. SCRIMGEOUR: Very well. He left Hermione a book of fairy tales. The question I ask you is: why?? HERMIONE: Dunno. SCRIMGEOUR: A likely story. He left Harry a Snitch, and a sword that I'm not giving you. The question I-- HARRY: I. Don't. Bloody. Know. SCRIMGEOUR: Wankers. I'm leaving. SNITCH: Psst. I open at the close! HARRY, HERMIONE, and RON: Well, how very bleeding useful.
[ August 15, 2007, 01:56 PM: Message edited by: Narnia ]
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
"Does George's ear count as a major character?"
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
I actually did write it down on my master 'dead list' that I was keeping. I totally understand that question.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
That's great! I love her parodies. Is part 2 up yet?
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
Oh, yay! Reading this will be my reward for meeting my work goals tomorrow. Now I need to set some work goals for tomorrow.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I remember her HP:HBP parody with great fondness. *scurries off to read*
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
*wipes away tears of laughter*
That. was. AWESOME!
My favorite (although it's hard to choose!):
quote:HARRY: Hey, um, it isn't true. She's like a sister to me. Our love is only a sibling-like love. Always has been. Never will be otherwise. I want to make this perfectly clear. We are now on record about the sibling-only nature of our love. Everyone got that? HARRY/HERMIONE SHIPPERS: (sulking) Meanie.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
That was pretty funny. I don't suppose you have a link to the other hp parody you mentioned?
Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
I loved the line right after that one
quote: HARRY and RON return to the tent. RON: Hermione, guess what? I've found my special purpose! It's to flake out and come crawling back. Dumbledore knew all along.
Also, I liked this part
quote:UNCLE VERNON: So we have to leave with some wizard weirdos for our own good? HARRY: Or get tortured by Voldemort. Yeah. UNCLE VERNON: Bye then. (leaves) DUDLEY: (hesitating at door) Kthnxbye. HARRY: Hang on--did you say "Thanks"? DUDLEY: Almost. HARRY: Wow. Just...wow.
The whole thing is funny, though. Please make sure to remind us all when part two is put up.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by MEC: I don't suppose you have a link to the other hp parody you mentioned?
I'll definitely sound the alarm when part two goes up. I imagine it will be before the end of the week. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
LAUGHING. SO. HARD.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
quote:KREACHER tries to maim himself with numerous household objects. HARRY: Kreacher, I command you to stop smacking your head with the colander. Now go find us the real locket.
quote:WEASLEYS, HARRY, HERMIONE, and READERS are in a state of panic and shock. Making matters worse, GIANT FREAKING SPIDERS have also joined the battle. ROWLING is probably still cackling. HARRY: Suppose I'll check in on Voldemort's mind. Ah-ha. Hey, guys? He's in the Shrieking Shack, waiting to rendezvous with Snape. They run through the chaos of the castle. NEVILLE streaks by, throwing poisonous plants and animals at Death Eaters. MCGONAGALL sends furniture flying. TRELAWNEY does the same with crystal balls and empty vodka bottles. Everyone's shooting to injure and kill--except of course HARRY, who flings spells like Remembering You Had A Dentist Appointment Just Now, Developing An Itch On Your Left Butt Cheek, and Feeling Like You Just Walked Through A Spiderweb At Face Level.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Thanks, Narnia!
quote:READERS: I think Rowling is out to vandalize every major landmark of the series before this book ends.
I hadn't really thought about it, but she's totally right!
quote:HARRY: I'm really touched, folks. I hope at least some of you don't die. READERS: Me too, but on the other hand, I need a couple more before I get Bingo.
*laughs so hard she cries*
quote:READERS grumble and finish filling out their Character Death cards. SOME READER: Oh! Oooh! Bingo! I got Bingo!!
*laughs so hard she can't breathe*
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
Perfect. Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
I'm not quite through the second part and it is fantastic. Go to her lj page though and look for the entry in April that crossed HP with Buffy, it was entirely fabulous and right on.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Too.dang.funny!
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Part two was hilarious! Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
Hey, she's into Buffy right now as well. Writing much more coherent analyses of it as well. That's nice to read - I hadn't caught the comparison of Spike and Buffy to Rhett and Scarlett before, but it completely. Considering Gone with the Wind is on my list of top five most personally influential books ever, I'm a little ashamed I didn't catch that.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:RON: By the way, I now think house elves should be freed. HERMIONE drops everything and snogs him rotten.
SNORTED MY WATER!!! Ow.
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
But I like Buffy more than I like Scarlett.
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
I do, too - Buffy's a hero.
I think I admire Scarlett more, though. She's a survivor. I know she's terrible, but...she never had a watcher.
Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
That. Was. Freaking. Hilarious.
Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
True, giving Scarlett a watcher might have helped. Now I may have to go see if there is Spike/Rhett slash, though I'm not sure I want to read it.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:I clearly do things in the wrong order. But I'm beginning to remedy that.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
I love it.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:DRACO: Say, you're Potter, are you? Want to join my fabulous and exclusive clique? I sent you a Facebook invitation. HARRY: I'm clicking "Deny." DRACO: Fine. Hate you forever, then. (flounces away)
Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
quote:HARRY: Nice. You ever going to let me in on the plan? DUMBLEDORE: Over my dead body. But that's actually a "yes" of sorts, so chin up.
Posted by aiua (Member # 7825) on :
Here is another similar LJ, Movies in 15 Minutes. I've linked to the Goblet of Fire one.
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
I can't believe no one commented the Voldemort-as-Lumberg-from-office-space part:
quote:VOLDEMORT: Hi Snape, what's happening? Yeeeah. Say listen, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and die for me...
... So if you'd just go ahead and let the snake do that, that would be great.
That's been the best part of the whole thing for me so far...
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"Does George's ear count as a major character?"
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I totally understand that question.
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