I'm in National Airport right now and watching a kid following his parents on those shoes with a wheel in the heel. He's careened into people at least three times in 50 feet. His parents saw at least two. At some point they need to decide that he's not capable of using such shoes in an airport and take out the wheels. I think that was at least one careen ago.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
This is why I have always said, "discipline begins in the womb." You can quote me on that.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
"I'm trying to spank my kid's butt, but my wife keeps on yelling at me for a completely unrelated reason!"
Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
Gah! That kind of stuff makes me crazy! It is instilling in the kids the idea that the world revolves around them and that they needn't ever consider that there are other people in it.
Bad parents! Bah!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Oh. my. goodness.
Yes, all kids have bad days sometime, but as you said the solution to the endangerment of others seems straightforward. Maybe the parents are worried about the kid having a meltdown if they remove the wheels.
Which raises a whole 'nother beast, of course. *wince
---
Um, is there any chance you have an airport bar nearby? Because you can have a beer on me. Or a lemon-scented water, whatever. Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Exactly, Mucus.
---
What cracks me up is that so many parents consider themselves disciplinarians. Ask almost any random parent what kind of parent they think they are, and they will say that they tend toward the strict side. Or they will immediately compare themselves to a parent they know who is even more lax than they are. I do this, too. Whenever my kids careen out of control, I mentally remind myself of about six other moms who have less control of their kids than I do. It allows me to continue in relative comfort without having to do anything to stop my kids.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
My kids don't have heelies, but they do sometimes turn into whirling dervishes in the store and stuff like that. I yell at them and then I feel bad. And I threaten not to take them next time, though I'm probably not as consistent in this as I should be. Also, for some reason they like to fan out and walk beside the shopping cart instead of behind me. So I wind up like that Bill Cosby bit about parenting, wild-eyed and alternating between shouting incomplete commands and muttering to myself.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Raising kids is frickin' hard work.
---
Edited to add: Which is one reason why you don't see me doing it. I welcome hard work, but I am actually quite afraid of a job that I can never really put down. I know there are awesome benefits, but I thrive on being able to shut the door and stare into space for three hours at a stretch every few days, guaranteed. Without that, I think I'd be whimpering in the corner and in no shape to be assuming responsibility for myself, much less minors.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
quote:Ask almost any random parent what kind of parent they think they are, and they will say that they tend toward the strict side.
I don't. I'll freely admit to being fairly lenient.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
This is why Tasers should be allowed in public airports.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Both our kids have heelies, but we don't let them wear them to malls and places where they might be careening into other people.
Posted by ladyday (Member # 1069) on :
What does that leave though? The kid wanted some heelies but I couldn't think of where I'd allow her to wear them :\.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by Scott R: Both our kids have heelies, but we don't let them wear them to malls and places where they might be careening into other people.
Sounds pretty reasonable. If they become good at using them might you lift even that restriction?
Dag: Tell a security guard you saw the parents put some sort of contraband in the wheel wells of their kids shoes. That'll show em. Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Tom, when I was typing that my brain specifically came up with you as a counter-example.
Ladyday, you could let them wear them to church. That's where I see kids wearing them most frequently.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:If they become good at using them might you lift even that restriction?
Sure. Maybe.
Posted by Jhai (Member # 5633) on :
My feet are so small, I can easily fit into the larger-sized children shoes. Can't get heels, of course, but my favorite pair of loafers are child Espirt shoes. I'm considering purchasing a pair of heelies for myself. My walk to campus includes a lot gentle hills... Also: lightup sneakers for running after dark.
Posted by ladyday (Member # 1069) on :
quote:Ladyday, you could let them wear them to church. That's where I see kids wearing them most frequently.
Did my mom pay you to say that? O_o
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson:
quote:Ask almost any random parent what kind of parent they think they are, and they will say that they tend toward the strict side.
I don't. I'll freely admit to being fairly lenient.
So Tom isn't a random parent. That's not terribly surprising. Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Depends on what is meant by control... There are ways to do that, and have it be affective without the use of impliments. But not disciplining is as bad as whooping a kid over the slightest thing.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
"My name is Random. Mr. Random"
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
While we were waiting in an airport for an international flight, we saw some parents that impressed us immensely. I'd say the children were roughly 2 and 4 years old.
Were the kids running? Yes. A parent was with them at all times, and encouraging them to run and play in a fairly clear "safe" area, and making sure they didn't interfere with any fellow travellers. The parent was making a game out of it, and the parents would switch off occasionally, but make sure the kids stayed in motion.
It got all of their energy out and we didn't hear a peep from either child on the entire flight. We were very impressed.
AJ
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
*nod* I think that's what is most difficult about parenting, for me. It's a bit of a balancing act, trying to encourage your children to be children, but in a safely marked out "area". Children should be encouraged to hoot and holler, for example, but not scream like they are being kidnapped. (In my opinion.)
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
quote:Originally posted by PSI Teleport: *nod* I think that's what is most difficult about parenting, for me. It's a bit of a balancing act, trying to encourage your children to be children, but in a safely marked out "area". Children should be encouraged to hoot and holler, for example, but not scream like they are being kidnapped. (In my opinion.)
That totally makes sense. You can't expect a child to sit still for hours upon end, but they shouldn't be running over old ladies either.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I'm so glad mine are small enough to grab up and contain in arms or buckle into a stroller if they repeatedly misbehave in public. Of course, then they scream, but at least they aren't hurting people.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
I once got hit by one of those kids in the stupid wheel sneakers and he fell down wrong, hurt himself and started crying. His parents had the nerve to get mad at me. I haven't been that close to punching someone in a long time.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I don't know if they need to be encouraged to hoot and holler, precisely. I do feel like I'm always telling them there's a time and place.
I have a "silly" child. All of his teachers have come up with this word for it on their own. I guess he's what you'd call a clown. Take my general sense of humor and put it with the disposition of his father, the viking lord, and you've got a hell of a kid.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
For clarification: I encourage my children to hoot and holler in our backyard. It's good for the soul.
edit: Oops, I misunderstood your post. Anyway, I generally need to encourage my oldest to play hard and make noise. He has fun when he's doing it, but he's pretty shy about starting the fun himself.
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
quote:Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese: I welcome hard work, but I am actually quite afraid of a job that I can never really put down. I know there are awesome benefits, but I thrive on being able to shut the door and stare into space for three hours at a stretch every few days, guaranteed. Without that, I think I'd be whimpering in the corner and in no shape to be assuming responsibility for myself, much less minors.
If Bob did not regularly take John downstairs for breakfast in the morning in order to give me some "staring into space" time I would be in serious danger of being one of those moms you hear about on the evening news.
Also I have a job that allows for some alone time when I need it. But I hear you, CT. Oh boy, do I hear you.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
This is why my kids have strictly enforced bedtimes and rest times. STRICTLY enforced. (It's deliciously quiet in the house right now.)
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
The fact that CT doesn't think she could handle raising a child frankly terrifies me when I think about me trying to do it.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
On the other hand, after seven years of constant noise and chaos, I can't stand it when it's quiet. Right now, I'm alone in the house. I didn't have school today but the munchkins did. I'm here by myself and I find it freaky.
I am so used to noise and running around that I don't like it when it's too quiet. I can read and study with all four kids clamoring around me. I thrive on activity and social contact.
Maybe I'm weird. I think the ability to thrive in chaotic environments will serve me well when I teach, though. At least I hope! I did observations with a teacher who CANNOT function in chaos and has her kids trained to sit and be quiet and never attempt to talk even when she asks questions. Predictably, kids don't seem to enjoy her class very much. I think English class needs to have (controlled) discussion and interaction, so the silent classes she led seemed very stifling to me.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:Originally posted by El JT de Spang: The fact that CT doesn't think she could handle raising a child frankly terrifies me when I think about me trying to do it.
It probably would make me feel the same way, except I have found that some people just are not cut out to have kids, and I respect them for knowing that. Just like I am not cut out to do, say, my husband's (paid) job, which would drive me batty (he's a tax accountant.)
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I really want heelies.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
quote:Originally posted by ElJay: I really want heelies.
I want 'em just so I can go careening off the moron kids who can't control themselves and especially off the parents who let them go careening through inappropriate places LOL
And since I never learned to rollerskate, I should really be a menace to society on them!!!
Posted by Jhai (Member # 5633) on :
As a member of the heelie-wearing group, I promise to never run into people (except maybe annoying, slow undergraduates). However, I will probably gloat at those who wish they could be as immature as me.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
Poor Dag. He's probably on his flight right now and unable to enjoy our witty discussion.
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
My youngest brother is now a graduate level T.A. at a major university. (Ironically the wild child of the family may be the one that ends up with a PhD, although he's only working on a Master's at the moment) I haven't asked him if he still pogo sticks to class. He was apparently quite notorious for doing so when he was an undergrad... I wonder if he has heelies...
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I saw clip-on light-up wheels that attached to the heel of any sneaker at the mall the other day.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Working in retail, I hate those shoes. They have been banned in a lot of public places, like malls, but people don't want to take the risk of having the parent complain so the kids get away with it too often.
Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
I drive through the U of M campus every day on my way to work, and have seen people unicycling to class. Pogo sticking to class would be great exercise.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: I haven't asked him if he still pogo sticks to class.
Man, I love English. What other language lets you verb nouns like that? Hey look, I did it too! I verbed verb! (Although I think I would have chosen to stick with "pogos to class".)
Posted by scholar (Member # 9232) on :
My husband says that we are going to be the worse disciplinarians ever. Bin is going to run wild and we'll just sit there going, um, honey, um, what you doing? Please don't hurt that nice man. Oh, well, I guess if you were just kidding...
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Maybe the verb is pogoing, not pogo sticking.
I dunno...
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Grrr, baby brain. I read that as "pooping" twice before I got it.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I like "pogo sticking". English is an incredibly fun language for stuff like that. I love it when we take brand names and make verbs out of them. Googled anything today?
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
(((dkw))) Rock on, sister, and amen for good partners.
quote:Originally posted by Belle: I thrive on activity and social contact.
Maybe I'm weird.
I think it's in good part an introvert/extrovert thing, different wiring. Like Tom D, you're pretty consistently an E on the Meyers-Briggs, aren't you, Belle?
---
JT, thanks for the implied compliment! But seriously, as ketchupqueen said, it is very much an individual issue. I am good at some things, and some things I'm very good at. However, being around other people (even people I love) for extended periods of time, relentlessly, without the chance of totally zoning out from the world is not something I'm good at.
I've been this way all my life, despite trying to change it, and I recall my mother being exactly the same way. I have many memories of her having to go lie down away from the rest of us, or yelling in despair that "you won't even let me read three lines of the paper! three lines! auuuughh!" and yet my brother and I were almost freakishly quiet kids. The few times we had a babysitter (funerals, etc.), the babysitter never saw us because we stayed in our rooms with our noses in books. But when my mother needed time out, she really needed it, and my partially paralyzed post-stroke father couldn't fully take over.
Knowing I take after her -- as much as I love her, and as grateful as I am for my upbringing -- and knowing how I am wired, and knowing the health and other issues my husband and I both face (including his age of 54, his diabetes, and so on), well, I can't in good conscience commit to 18 years. It isn't the right decision for us, although two similar people in a similar situation might be different enough that the opposite is true.
But I'm good for a lot of other things, including babysitting for days at a stretch. Long ago I did 2-3 weeks at a time and came out very little the worse for wear. I just need to know I can eventually put the responsibility aside and kind of stare off into space to reset my head. My spouse is much the same way, and there is no guarantee our need-it-now times won't overlap. Frequently, they do.
However, a lot of people aren't wired that way, or don't bring the same history to it, and have different social supports and resources. It's still hard, and that should still be acknowledged by those of us relying on others to raise the next generation , but you may find you are very well suited to it indeed.
Courage, my friend! You will figure out whether or not it is for you, regardless of my shortcomings in this area.
---
Edited to add: And for me this need isn't an "I prefer it this way, I get irritated if I don't get it" kind of thing. Not even an "I get very irritated if I don't get it" kind of thing. It's an "eventually I start ripping holes in the back of my hands with my teeth, check the stove 30 times, and refuse to close my eyes" kind of thing.
I know how my body and mind work, and I know what I am and am not good at. This is one of the *awesome* things about life experience and hard-earned perspective: if you pay attention, you can figure out pretty reliably what a lot of the likely consequences of your decisions would be in advance. Love-ly!
[ November 20, 2007, 06:31 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
CT, that was some beautiful writing.
AJ
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Thanks, sugar. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
*makes note that CT is available for extended periods of babysitting* Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I seem to really want children despite the fact that they might drive me crazy.
Posted by MattP (Member # 10495) on :
So, I'm reading this thread thinking "I'm never buying those things for my kids" when I hear my seven-year-old, about 10 feet away, say "Grandma, these things are hard!"
Yep. Grandma brought her a pair of heelies.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by MattP: So, I'm reading this thread thinking "I'm never buying those things for my kids" when I hear my seven-year-old, about 10 feet away, say "Grandma, these things are hard!"
Yep. Grandma brought her a pair of heelies.
Guess it's too late to close the barn door now that the cow is out. Counter by asking grandma if she would like to look at some nursing homes with you as you value her input on the matter. Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
Let me get this straight... ...you're surrounded by nutcases running around with guns, pervs sniffing through your underwear, voyeurs lookin' at what's under your underwear, and cretins drooling to anal probe ya... ...and the problem is a kid on heelies?
Posted by Saephon (Member # 9623) on :
Maybe if there was a Department of Heelie Security and the kids were more subtle about it, it wouldn't be a problem Posted by anti_maven (Member # 9789) on :
Heelies! Wow, I would love a pair, but the hills around here make that either far too much effort, or suicidal.
I much prefer chaotic kids inan airport than screaming whines in a plane. Oh yes.
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
quote:Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese: Courage, my friend! You will figure out whether or not it is for you, regardless of my shortcomings in this area.
Oh, it's definitely for me. Though I have no doubt that there will be times that I will want to snap, get in the car, and drive to Reno for a month.
I just can't figure any other reason for being here (in the grand sense) than to pass on our genes. I picture humanity like a really long game of hot potato, and I want to help keep it in the air.
I know your choice is the right one for you, and I know it's not something you decided capriciously. However, I will continue to think that (as long as you stayed sane) you would make an outstanding parent. Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
CT is one of the few people on this planet I'd trust with my childrens's lives.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Aw, shucks. Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Grandma was responsible for my kids getting into Harry Potter too. <_< Darn Grandmas.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
God bless those slippery Grandmas.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
When ever I hear someone complaining about parents who don't control their children, I am forced to think that they are clueless about kids. Yes parents shouldn't let their kids to careen about airports on wheels crashing into people. But it may be alot easier to say that than do it.
The problem is that kids have free will and sometimes they simply defy control of any kind. While there are parents that are negligent in teaching their kids proper behavior in public, there are also kids who simply defy such training. Without more details, its unfair to judge these parents.
Maybe Grandma gave the kid the heelies, and they've been regretting letting him wear them ever since he put them on. Maybe they tried to take the wheel off but found it couldn't be done without tools that aren't allowed in airports. Maybe they've told the kid that they are taking away his heelies but they don't think its right to make him go barefoot til they get home. Maybe they've already scolded this kid 100 times today for reckless heelying and don't know what to do next. Maybe they are torn between the public scene it will cause if they force the issue now, and letting him crash into people. Maybe they are opposed disciplining their kid in public and so they are waiting until they get home to discipline him. Maybe they've been on the road for 12 hours and are just too tired for another fight with their kid. And maybe they are negligent parents who just don't care if their kid hurts somebody.
The problem is that we just don't know what's going on until we've got more details. Some kids misbehave because of bad parenting and some kids misbehave despite excellent parenting.
[ November 21, 2007, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: The Rabbit ]
Posted by maui babe (Member # 1894) on :
It kind of annoys me when people blame grandparents for things. If you don't want your children to wear the shoes, don't let them. Give them back to grandma, or only let them wear them in circumstances you are comfortable with. Yeah, you may p*ss off your child, but that's a big part of being a parent sometimes.
I have two perspectives on this, as I am a grandmother myself. When my children were small and someone (not always a grandma) gave them a toy/food item/article of clothing that I didn't feel was appropriate (not age appropriate, against our family rules etc), I did not hesitate to enforce my rules. I remember one year, my girls had lost all of their crayons due to writing on the walls. I got fed up and threw them all away. They were allowed colored pencils, but not crayons. My mother (not knowing my new rule) bought them a huge box of crayons for Christmas (we were visiting at her home). My daughters enjoyed the crayons while we were at grandma's. When we went home after New Year's, the crayons went up in the closet until they were needed for school or other projects.
Now that I have a grandchild, I fully intend to spoil him as much as possible, but I also expect my daughter and son-in-law to maintain control/discipline. Of course, at my house, when I'm in charge, he'll get away with much more, but in public, or at his house, his mom and dad are the boss.
Posted by MattP (Member # 10495) on :
quote:It kind of annoys me when people blame grandparents for things.
Eh. It's not that big a deal. I wouldn't have bought them, but I don't feel that strongly about them that I'd forbid them from having a pair given by grandma.
Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kwea: Working in retail, I hate those shoes. They have been banned in a lot of public places, like malls, but people don't want to take the risk of having the parent complain so the kids get away with it too often.
I'm with you on that one...they drive me crazy. You should not let your kids bring those things into a grocery store.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Well said, Rabbit. Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
lol... I hate the dirty looks I used to get when my step-daughter was screeming at the top of her lungs in the grocery store...
I mean, seriously, I know it was annoying, but she was one of those kids that just screamed non-stop whenever she didn't get her way. There was truly NOTHING we could do about it. She's handicapped, and can't talk, so it's very difficult to reason with her. I understood that it was annoying people, but what did they really expect I'd be able to do.... I had to shop for groceries, and every time we'd go to the store she'd scream about something!
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
quote:The problem is that we just don't know what's going on until we've got more details.
Rabbit, I understand what you're saying and I agree to some extent. However, I think it is important to distinguish between annoying behavior and dangerous behavior. I have infinite patience for annoying behavior from children in most public places. This includes screaming, tantrums, etc. I have zero patience for dangerous behavior from children in public places and I expect parents to prevent their children from posing a danger to themselves and others. There may be exceptions, but heelies in public places is not one.
Aerin has a large wound from her shoulder to her elbow. It's stapled and sewn shut. If a child in heelies was to bang into her, her wound could reopen. Setting aside the risk of infection and the horrible pain, she could literally bleed to death. Aerin deserves a reasonable expectation of safety when she goes out and children in heelies violates that.
quote:While there are parents that are negligent in teaching their kids proper behavior in public, there are also kids who simply defy such training. Without more details, its unfair to judge these parents.
It's perfectly fair. Those parents have made the choice to allow their child out in public when they KNOW he will be a danger to others. If your child can't behave safely, don't take him out. My child shouldn't be endangered or injured.
This especially bothers me in restaurants. I will never, ever allow Aerin to run around in a restaurant. I can't tell you how many close calls I had when I was waitressing. When you're balancing a heavy tray of scalding hot food on your shoulder and holding a stand in the other hand, it's almost impossible to maintain your balance when someone runs into you. If you know that you cannot prevent your child from running around, do not take him to a restaurant.
BTW, I have so little faith in the desire or ability of people to control their children that I'm not taking Aerin anywhere (except to the doctor) until she gets her staples and stitches out.
Posted by Jaiden (Member # 2099) on :
I agree- kids will be kids, but it's the parent's responsibility to reign them in when they pose a danger to themselves or others. Although I'm sure not everybody has thought about cases like Aerin's, there are still elderly, etc. people going around who could fall and break a hip if they were hit. (People in general should be more aware of cases like Aerin)
Posted by Orincoro (Member # 8854) on :
quote:Originally posted by kmbboots: Gah! That kind of stuff makes me crazy! It is instilling in the kids the idea that the world revolves around them and that they needn't ever consider that there are other people in it.
Bad parents! Bah!
I was in a crowded market in Vienna when a girl of about 8 started swinging a rope above her head. The rope had to be about 5 feet long, and she just started swinging that thing without looking around or anything. It was just crazy. I did one of those matrix-style backbends to avoid it, and having no German,made a loud grunting sound that got her parents' attention. They did not apologize.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'll take a closer look at the rest of the thread later.
quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: When ever I hear someone complaining about parents who don't control their children, I am forced to think that they are clueless about kids. Yes parents shouldn't let their kids to careen about airports on wheels crashing into people. But it may be alot easier to say that than do it.
The problem is that kids have free will and sometimes they simply defy control of any kind. While there are parents that are negligent in teaching their kids proper behavior in public, there are also kids who simply defy such training. Without more details, its unfair to judge these parents.
Here are the details I know: the kid was knocking into people in a crowded place. The parents knew this. Either the parents allowed him to wear sporting equipment to the airport with no alternative footwear available, which is irresponsible, or they did not require the child to switch to the alternative footwear.
I'd bet a lot of money that I know as much about kids as you, Rabbit. I'm sure I don't know nearly as much as a parent, but I'm not a novice in this regard. I've been the one responsible for toddlers through junior high in public, crowded places many times. I've been the guy with a screaming child I can't soothe and seen the glares from other people. This situation is different.
Sometimes a child needs to be stopped- physically if necessary - from doing something that is very dangerous. What he was doing was very dangerous. He should have been stopped. And if they were incapable of stopping him because of the mechanics of the heelies, they should have planned better. Much better.
There elderly people using a cane, at least one person on crutches, people carrying babies, and people pushing strollers. This was two days before thanksgiving. It is absolutely irresponsible to allow your kid to rollerskate in that situation - especially when there's concrete evidence that he's out of control in his skating.
It's easy to keep this kid from crashing into people. Most heelies have easily removeable wheels. If those did not, then alternative footwear should have been available.
If he was doing this on a sidewalk, then there is every possibility he would have gone into the street.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dagonee: Here are the details I know: the kid was knocking into people in a crowded place. The parents knew this. Either the parents allowed him to wear sporting equipment to the airport with no alternative footwear available, which is irresponsible, or they did not require the child to switch to the alternative footwear.
Sounds great in theory. In practice, when (let's imagine) they were running late to get out of the house to get to the airport, and the child insisted that the only shoes they could find were these, and was about to have a meltdown, and they couldn't figure out where all there other shoes ended up either ("Did you pack all his other shoes?" "I don't know! Did you? We're going to miss the plane!"), theory has a tendency to break down.
Which is not to say that they should have been allowing their child to careen off innocent passerby at the airport. Certainly they should not. But what is likely exhaustion and frustration (possibly mixed with not wanting to deal a kid tantrum in the middle of the airport) is not necessarily as simple or straightforward as some people seem to be implying. Which is what Rabbit said . . . we don't have the whole story.
quote:Originally posted by Dagonee: And if they were incapable of stopping him because of the mechanics of the heelies, they should have planned better. Much better.
Sure. And one can only hope that next time they will. But "you should have planned better!" is a fairly useless statement after the fact.
To be clear, I cannot imagine getting my child those shoes, precisely because I can see all too clearly the sort of dangerous situation we're talking about being an eventual result. But I've too often had "Can't you control your children!" directed at me or at friends of mine (favorite response, when a friend couldn't get her baby to stop crying: "No. Did you want to try?") to be ok with that as a general statement.
Posted by scholar (Member # 9232) on :
See, this is why all children should wear leashes. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Mine loves hers. She calls it her "tail" and likes to "pull mommy by her tail" (in reality, I'm firmly in control.)
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:Can't you control your children!" directed at me or at friends of mine (favorite response, when a friend couldn't get her baby to stop crying: "No. Did you want to try?")
Awesome response.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
This has nothing to do with the OP, in fact I happen to agree.
It is just that reading this thread in general has made me look toward the awful day when almost complete strangers can criticize my parenting style with that passion that only topics like religion, politics, and parenting bring up in people. Also, those complete strangers may even be completely right.
The only way I can even relate to the experience is when I first sat in my car after purchasing it. I was thinking "they let me do this?" I mean, sure the research takes a long time, I had driven a long time beforehand, and wrote a very big cheque (the biggest cheque I have written yet), but still the steps are relatively short compared to the responsibility of it all.
I'm not saying that there should be more steps (or not), but the thought that many other people could do this with just the same (or even less on average) preparation was just humbling.
If that day comes, I wonder if I'll have the same feeling when we go home from the hospital after a child is born thinking "they let me do this?" I hope not, I think.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I remember looking at my first daughter in the bassinet next to my bed about three or four hours after she was born, and having this overwhelming sense of... I guess fear. Because up until then, all I had to do to take care of her was take care of MYSELF, which I had been doing pretty well for, oh, at least 17 years. But now there was no way I could protect her from everything, things were going to hurt her, things were going to upset her, she was going to make bad choices, and I couldn't do anything but be there afterwards.
It was a very intense moment.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: When ever I hear someone complaining about parents who don't control their children, I am forced to think that they are clueless about kids. Yes parents shouldn't let their kids to careen about airports on wheels crashing into people. But it may be alot easier to say that than do it.
The problem is that kids have free will and sometimes they simply defy control of any kind. While there are parents that are negligent in teaching their kids proper behavior in public, there are also kids who simply defy such training. Without more details, its unfair to judge these parents... The problem is that we just don't know what's going on until we've got more details. Some kids misbehave because of bad parenting and some kids misbehave despite excellent parenting.
AMEN!
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Mucus, in my experience, that feeling of "oh my, why are they trusting me with this baby, this is crazy!" is very common for first time parents. This is a great reason to make sure you have a lot of experienced parents to turn to! Even if you would probably be fine, it sure seems to help the nerves.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese: Mucus, in my experience, that feeling of "oh my, why are they trusting me with this baby, this is crazy!" is very common for first time parents.
Oh, yeah. Not everyone admits it, but I think almost every new parent must feel it. Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
I had the "what did I just do???" feeling when I first found out I was pregnant with my son. I had tried for him, had wanted him. I was no stranger to small children. I was the oldest child (and only girl) in a family of six kids.... the youngest of which was only 9 when I had my son. I had numerous other little cousins and stuff, all of whom I'd been babysitting since I was in jr. high. I'd taught bible school, and saturday school, and used to take my brothers everywhere. I was always the teenager toting around 3 to 5 little boys behind me, doing constant head counts.
Still, when I saw that second blue line, something in my stomach totally clenched. The only thought going through my mind for the first half hour was, "Oh sh*t, I wasn't REALLY ready for this."
I think having those sorts of, "woah, did this really happen?" feelings are normal any time you have a big life event. The point is to just deal with it the best you can.
And that goes back to the topic. I fully agree that some parents are just letting their children be totally recless. It's annoying, true, but unless you really know the situation it's hard to judge. We're all guilty of it to some extent, of course. The trick is to have patience, and remember we're all on earth together. If you see a kid careening through an airport in heelies, it's not out of place for anyone (even a passerby) to say, "Hey, young man, you could hurt someone. Please slow down." Maybe the embarassment of being called down by a stranger will get through where mom and dad's yipping didn't.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
Well, its nice to know that I will have company when that long away nervousness comes to fruition Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Which is not to say that they should have been allowing their child to careen off innocent passerby at the airport. Certainly they should not. But what is likely exhaustion and frustration (possibly mixed with not wanting to deal a kid tantrum in the middle of the airport) is not necessarily as simple or straightforward as some people seem to be implying. Which is what Rabbit said . . . we don't have the whole story.
I agree. We do, however, have enough of the story to know that these parents should have done something else. I doubt you would excuse these parents if they weren't stopping the kid from running into traffic because they were running late or feared a tantrum. Assuming that you would not excuse them, then we are simply drawing a different line based on level of danger.
I think the level is quite high here, although clearly not traffic level. The parents were allowing their child to endanger himself and many other people. I think that's worthy of comment, an worthy of a statement that they shouldn't have done that.
quote:Sure. And one can only hope that next time they will. But "you should have planned better!" is a fairly useless statement after the fact.
So far we have no indication that these parents think they need to do anything different. I doubt they're reading this. I clearly didn't intend to alter their behavior by posting this.
quote:But I've too often had "Can't you control your children!" directed at me or at friends of mine (favorite response, when a friend couldn't get her baby to stop crying: "No. Did you want to try?") to be ok with that as a general statement.
Fine. I used it as the title of a particular story in which two parents who saw their kid run into three different people did NOTHING in response. And that was in a short stretch of the airport - I doubt it didn't happen earlier in the walk through the airport. Moreover, in my follow up to Rabbit's email, I made it clear that I was distinguishing this situation from other situations in which other people might have used that phrase. In fact, one of the situations I've distinguished it from is the precise one you mention here.
The fact that the sentiment is misused does not mean that every expression of that sentiment is invalid.
Posted by Pegasus (Member # 10464) on :
My favorite response to unsolicited paranting advice:
A friend was in the grocery store when a stranger told them to not let their kid play with plastic shopping bags (which she was doing). In response, my friend took the bag, placed it right over his kid's head and says, "Look, she not dead yet!" Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
LOL! You'll do fine, Syn. Kids drive you crazy sometimes. I'm still stressed whenever we go out because I'm constantly reminding my energetic boys to "watch out for grown ups" because they meander around talking and get in people's way. I usually correct them and offer a "sorry" to any inconvenienced adult. Most are nice. Occasionally, one snarls something mean or looks at us like they think the world really DOES revolve around them, and the minor inconvenience of being exposed to a child still undergoing social training should be punishable by death.
I usually give a happy sigh of relief, knowing that my sons will not become such a person, because I'm doing my job.
***
As an aside, kids DID drive me crazy. Post-partum depression and deep-seated need to have stare-into-space time had me occasionally enclosing the toddler in a play pen, slipping in a video and locking myself in the bathroom. Heh.
All I can say is I survived it with a lot of help and love from all concerned, and I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. Especially now that they are such interesting little people, constantly doing things to entertain me.
It was neat to see my brother in law and his wife with their small children, and realize, "Wow, I don't have to worry about my kids wandering into the street anymore." Also, no diapers. YAY!
We still don't get to go to movies whenever we want, or spend a whole weekend naked, but, you know, everything in life is a trade-off. It's just really cool to see my boys playing with their cousins, looking after them and being all responsible and stuff. I think "What a great kid" and feel humbled to have had a part in making sucha cool little person.
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