Hatrack River Forum: I think my mom is hiding my mail.

This is topic I think my mom is hiding my mail. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.

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Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :

I'll elaborate more on the problems between my mom and I in the morning, but for now I'm gonna tell you guys a few things. Well, I'm living with my aunt right now because of a few reasons. Mostly because I'm taking care of my grandmother when she's at work, and also because I can't stand to live with my mother any longer.

My mom feels a tad jealous/hurt/i don't even know, about me living here because she thinks that I've abandoned her, and don't love her. Safe to say that this is a big exaggeration, she's always had a tendency to be a drama queen. :roll:

Today I went to visit her because I needed to pick up a few things from back home. Including my mail. I expected my Hatrack gift to have arrived by now, since it had arrived in previous years around this time too. I asked for my mail and she said that "it's somewhere around", and didn't really give me a straight answer. Well, I looked around and found a few letters here and there. I came to collect a very small pile of two months worth of mail. This kinda struck me as odd, I usually get a LOT of mail. Last time I expected a package, around October, it turns out it had been in the mail box for about a week already and that pissed me off.
I didn't think much of it until I talked to my best friend who was in town from NY for Christmas and she said that she had sent me a postcard from Boston the day after Thanksgiving. Which I didn't find when I was there. Now I'm REALLY suspicious. Because she told me that she had also sent a postcard to someone in her family and they had received it around two days after she sent it.

Am I being a bit exaggerated or is something definitely up? My mother has been a real pain these past few months because she feels like she can't control me and for some other reasons that I just can't even understands. Whenever she comes over here she always acts pretty curt and impolite towards me like I had done something to anger her. And she said something a few days ago that really REALLY hurt. When she was talking to my grandmother and told her something about, "When I had a daughter." I'm the only daughter she has, and even if I wasn't, that just isn't cool.
Any thoughts? Again, I'll elaborate a bit more on this in the morning, or some other time tomorrow.

Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :

If you were to confront her directly, I'm not sure what good could come of it. If she is wanting to provoke or control you, that isn't going to be made better by challenging her, especially since you are out of the house and don't have to deal with her day by day. If she has no such motives, then confronting her is likely to make an uncomfortable situation even worse.

I take it you've probably already filled out a forwarding slip for the postal carrier in your name (to have items addressed to you automatically forwarded to your aunt's)? That would keep any issues like this from coming up in the future. Meanwhile, it seems prudent to minimize the drama, as it would serve no purpose other than to inflame things.

Thank goodness you have a safe and secure place elsewhere to stay. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :

Seconding CT's suggestion to have your mail forwarded. Either to your aunt's house, or, for about $35 a year you can get a small box at the post office. Parcels that are too large for the box will be held behind the counter and a card will be put in your box to let you know that you have something oversized.

As for Mom, it sounds like she's going through some form of depression related to your show of independence.

Posted by stihl1 (Member # 1562) on :

Get a PO Box and get mail there.

Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :

Yes, I totally agree with the above. A P.O. box is the best alternative. Receiving mail at your aunt's house is next.

I gained a huge measure of peace and happiness when I gave up the idea that my family should act a certain way just because they were my family. Once I rearranged my life so that they can act any way they want and it doesn't have any means of affecting my life or my peace of mind, then things got drastically better for me.

After that, paradoxically, they all started acting much better. It took about a year. Now my family is almost beginning to approach normalcy. It's amazing. [Smile]

Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :

You just made them sound real jerky, tatiana.

For the record, I think I agree pretty wholeheartedly with Tatiana. It's probably easier for me, though, given that I'm adopted. With my adoptive family's stupidity, I'm thinking "we're not related, so who cares?" and with my birthfamily, I'm thinking "please move to another planet." [ROFL]

Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :

I just do not understand you, man.

Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :

Most places I've tried to get a P.O. Box require you to show proof of your physical address, such as a utility bill or something. I can't say how easy it would be for you to get one; probably impossible at a U.S. Post Office, but you might want to look at private mailbox companies like Mailboxes, Etc.