So it’s the day before Christmas. And you haven’t shopped. And your loved ones will recognize, from painful experience, anything from the somewhat limited gift selections available at your corner gas station. What to do, what to do?
You can try pulling off the old “Christmas has become too commercialized so I’m donating to charity in my friends’ names at the very last minute instead” routine, but it doesn’t work for everyone, especially when the charity listed is mostly famous for its happy hour and all-you-can-eat wings.
Instead, try performing some useful, thoughtful kindnesses for your friends and family that they’ve put off, never knew about, or would never consider. Show that you're really thinking about your friends' well-being by making their lives easier and less stressful in some small way. Some examples:
Do their laundry. Take away your friends' tired feeling of dread of looming household chores by sneaking over to their house to wash, dry, and fold all of their clothes. Take them out to a laundry service if you need to. Wouldn’t that be great to come home to? Especially if your friends have never had anything dry-cleaned before, and you just know that some of those delicate items you found stashed in secret places in their closets will need careful attention. Fold their clothes, add a touch of lilac, and get them back by Christmas morning for a delightful and unexpected surprise.
More... Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
Very funny!
Don't neglect the oputdoors.
Yes, that would be a bad idea.
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Eek! Fixed.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Leave it to Chris to cross the line from "sweet" to "stalker" -- and keep going. Posted by Hank (Member # 8916) on :
Who wouldn't be upset with someone who stole their children...and then brought them back! Posted by Mr.Funny (Member # 4467) on :
Help therm out with their children.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Chris, it was a riot. But now I'm afraid to give you my address. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Don't worry.
He already has it.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
Eeevil! And fun!
Posted by Chris Bridges (Member # 1138) on :
Agh, I forgot one!
Who isn't flattered by paintings of themselves? And your local college art class can help. Just have all the students follow your friends around and take pictures of them at candid moments. Pick the best shot -- ideally one that doesn't look fearful or paranoid, as so many of them seem to -- and have a big, beautiful oil painting made that your friends will be proud to display.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
You know, someone out there will read your column and not understand it's supposed to be a joke... Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I'm sure that readers of Chris's column are people of uncommon intelligence and insight.
Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
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