I'm just seeing these for the first time and am cracking up at them. check them out. I might be buying this book for my brother soon.
Posted by adfectio (Member # 11070) on :
I saw these a few days ago. Freaking Hilarious! I especially liked the one about pets.
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
So THAT'S what I did wrong! Posted by Elmer's Glue (Member # 9313) on :
That's great. I thought it was just going to be a list.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
Interesting. In all those pictures there are entrees where a woman is doing it right, while the man does it wrong. There are also entrees where the man does it right and wrong, and where the woman does it right and wrong. But there is not a single entree where the man does it right and the woman does it wrong. Hmmm......
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
What a crock. They depict cribs as right and baby cages as wrong?
Hacks.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
I've done at least two of those things wrong.
Posted by Liz B (Member # 8238) on :
My husband showed me these at 5 AM on Sunday when we were up feeding/ taking care of our 7 week old son. My favorite is "shopping with baby."
Posted by Elmer's Glue (Member # 9313) on :
quote: Interesting. In all those pictures there are entrees where a woman is doing it right, while the man does it wrong. There are also entrees where the man does it right and wrong, and where the woman does it right and wrong. But there is not a single entree where the man does it right and the woman does it wrong. Hmmm......
Ummm, the only one where they do that is the breast feeding one.
Posted by Launchywiggin (Member # 9116) on :
I was in class when I saw this--and I couldn't help some of my stifled laughter.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
But the baby looks so happy in the first one!
Posted by Hank (Member # 8916) on :
quote:Originally posted by Elmer's Glue:
quote: Interesting. In all those pictures there are entrees where a woman is doing it right, while the man does it wrong. There are also entrees where the man does it right and wrong, and where the woman does it right and wrong. But there is not a single entree where the man does it right and the woman does it wrong. Hmmm......
Ummm, the only one where they do that is the breast feeding one.
And the "exercising" one, but still, not exactly a strong trend.
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
Those were a lot funnier the second time through. Not that they weren't funny the first time. I think the wondering if there is going to be any real danger to the babies made it worrisome for me. Apart from the shopping and the exercise, and the buckle... oh, and the pets.
I have to think that only a woman would try to fit a finger into a baby's nostril.
Posted by hansenj (Member # 4034) on :
So funny! I'm emailing those to my husband at work...since we're expecting a baby any day now, it's especially relevant. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I'm very sad to report that I have seen people buckle baby into a high-back booster-- pretty much the same thing as just a seatbelt-- before baby is a year old. And that I have seen babies plopped in front of the tv for hours before they are 6 months old. And I'm talking "Jerry Springer" and "Law and Order" here, too. *sigh*
Emma tried to eat Jeff's "na-na" once when she was 3 months old, woke up hungry, I was in the bathroom, and he had been in the shower (so was bare-chested.) She saw the nipple and tried to nurse before he could stop her (though actually missed the nipple-- got him on the chest near the shoulder.) He screamed (and had a welt, like a hickey but bigger, for a day or so!)
My sister slept in a drawer for a while (not pushed in, of course-- they pulled it out and lined it with a quilt.) Emma slept in a Purina box lined with a quilt for almost a week until Jeff got his pay check and we could afford a used bassinet. Bridey napped at my dad's house in a laundry basket lined with a blanket until she got too big.
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
I've put a kid in a laundry basket once. It worked. None of my kids ever tried to nurse me though.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I figure a laundry basket is pretty much along the same lines as a Moses basket, right? For that matter, so was the Purina box.
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
That was my thinking.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Oddly enough, some men can lactate.
Posted by Christine (Member # 8594) on :
Thank you for posting that! I so needed to laugh today. Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
My brother- and sister-in-law once put their baby to sleep in a large drawer when they didn't have any other safe options.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Yeah, but they didn't close the drawer.
Posted by DSH (Member # 741) on :
Men can lactate?
Posted by adfectio (Member # 11070) on :
quote:Originally posted by Synesthesia: Oddly enough, some men can lactate.
Not exactly what I wanted to think of when I'm trying to eat a sandwich real fast. Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
I had to show those to my husband (since he is a new dad who had never had any experience with babies)! He laughed so hard I thought he was going to hurt himself!
Posted by Seatarsprayan (Member # 7634) on :
These images are stolen from a book. I happen to own the book, and those are just scans. There's another book about what to do when pregnant.
quote:And that I have seen babies plopped in front of the tv for hours before they are 6 months old.
My baby is in front of the tv, and she's six months old. Of course she's playing in her exersaucer and pays no attention to the tv, so I think it's okay. When she starts watching the tv, we'll turn it off.
Posted by MEC (Member # 2968) on :
quote:Originally posted by Seatarsprayan: These images are stolen from a book. I happen to own the book, and those are just scans. There's another book about what to do when pregnant.
quote:And that I have seen babies plopped in front of the tv for hours before they are 6 months old.
My baby is in front of the tv, and she's six months old. Of course she's playing in her exersaucer and pays no attention to the tv, so I think it's okay. When she starts watching the tv, we'll turn it off.
There's a reference to that and a link to buy it at the bottom.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:My baby is in front of the tv, and she's six months old. Of course she's playing in her exersaucer and pays no attention to the tv, so I think it's okay. When she starts watching the tv, we'll turn it off.
No, I mean babies strapped into a carrier or bouncer, a few feet in front of the tv, with nothing else to look at or play with and no people in the room, for hours at a time. They WATCH the tv because it's the only thing to do-- they're five months old and instead of playing or exploring their hands or feet or environment, they're just zoned out gazing at tv. It's really sad.
Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :
My son used to suck on the tip of my nose when he was hungry and I got my face near his.
It feels really weird to say that though, now that he's 21.
And my daughter insisted on playing chess, because her big brother did. I don't remember how old she was, but it was way too young to understand the rules.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Emma used to glom onto noses, too. She always wants to play chess at Grandpa's house (my dad has a set out on the coffee table) but yeah, she doesn't even understand checkers, there's no way she'd get chess. But she knows what it's called and wants to play anyway, so Abba sits down with her and she moves pieces around and says "I win!"
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:They totally can. But most men wouldn't want to. It would scare them too much.
Yup. Any man who isn't lactating right now is a coward.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I have to say, I would be pretty upset if my husband started lactating.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
Coward.
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
I may not lactate But I sure do lack taste.
Baby in Dryer--no.
Teen in dryer?
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by Elmer's Glue:
quote: Interesting. In all those pictures there are entrees where a woman is doing it right, while the man does it wrong. There are also entrees where the man does it right and wrong, and where the woman does it right and wrong. But there is not a single entree where the man does it right and the woman does it wrong. Hmmm......
Ummm, the only one where they do that is the breast feeding one.
You must have missed exercise.
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
"My son used to suck on the tip of my nose when he was hungry and I got my face near his."
My daughter, Luna 9, did this too. I believe there are pictures. I had to quit allowing this when she got teeth. Ouch.
Posted by Starsnuffer (Member # 8116) on :
Your source for the men lactating, while maybe valid, certainly seemed unprofessional, at least from the first few paragraphs (at which point I decided I wasn't terribly interested). I have heard that Some men can/do lactate, though that's the extent of my knowledge, and I thought it was more anomalous than just ignored/shunned.
Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :
quote: Interesting. In all those pictures there are entrees where a woman is doing it right, while the man does it wrong. There are also entrees where the man does it right and wrong, and where the woman does it right and wrong. But there is not a single entree where the man does it right and the woman does it wrong. Hmmm......
I didn't think this was a menu.
My son also used to lift my daughter as in #1.
Posted by Elmer's Glue (Member # 9313) on :
Yeah, I totally missed exercising baby. And that is one strong baby..
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by Glenn Arnold:
quote: Interesting. In all those pictures there are entrees where a woman is doing it right, while the man does it wrong. There are also entrees where the man does it right and wrong, and where the woman does it right and wrong. But there is not a single entree where the man does it right and the woman does it wrong. Hmmm......
I didn't think this was a menu.
My son also used to lift my daughter as in #1.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/entrees ^^ I used that as my guide, being able to pluralize entree seemed to make sense in my head, and I couldn't think of another word at the time.
I confess that as for myself I am guilty of at least two of those. And if my baby could sit still while we play chess, I'd take it as a sign he/she wants to learn how to play. Posted by Seatarsprayan (Member # 7634) on :
quote:There's a reference to that and a link to buy it at the bottom.
Oh. That makes it okay then. :-|
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
What, babies are not supposed to break new teeth in on shoes?
This certainly would have been helpful to see a long time ago.
My parents kept me in a dresser drawer. I'm proud to say that they didn't shut it. It wasn't even in the dresser at the time, or so I'm told.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
There is no physiological impossibility for men to lactate. It would just take a highly abnormal hormonal state. Considering the vast array of physiologic abnormality expressed over 6 billion people, there certainly are men who can and have lactated naturally.
Doesn't make it any less mind-boggling.
Posted by Tammy (Member # 4119) on :
Ew, enough with the lactating man thing. Ew, just ew!
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:It would just take a highly abnormal hormonal state.
Precisely why I would be upset if my husband started lactating.
I know, I know, mph, I'm a coward. Posted by Slim (Member # 2334) on :
ROTFLMHO!
I was laughing so hard, I was crying!
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
I think it's hilarious. I have picked my kids's noses, often while nursing. Oe I also have done, that I saw on another site, is hose off kids. In the summer it was the best way to deal with diaper blow outs.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Okay, so we can lactate, and? Let's talk about milk supply and feeding a hungry baby. Me thinks my boobies aren't going to be up to the task.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:I have picked my kids's noses, often while nursing.
Oh, that's another one I've done. Although I often use a kleenex. And I don't stick my finger that far in.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: Okay, so we can lactate, and? Let's talk about milk supply and feeding a hungry baby. Me thinks my boobies aren't going to be up to the task.
You need to eat more cheeseburgers, obviously.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
I have known women with less boobage than my husband to successfully breatsfeed.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
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