This is topic MONEY!!!! MONEY!!!!! in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


To visit this topic, use this URL:
http://www.hatrack.com/ubb/main/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=052367

Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
My application for financial aid has been approved I have money!!!!!!!

7500$ 3500 of it burseries aka free money, 2,000$ computer loan, and remainder normal loan.

Woot!

The loans btw are interest free for as long as I am a student. So Ill put them in a savings trust thingy and collect interest on them while I don't need them.

Woot!!!

[Party]
 
Posted by Fusiachi (Member # 7376) on :
 
No free lunch.
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
Frankly, there are worse fates for student loans.
 
Posted by JonHecht (Member # 9712) on :
 
TANSTAAFL
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
So what school are ya going to?
 
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Mucus:
Frankly, there are worse fates for student loans.

That's the truth. I had a friend in college who would run out and splurge on musical equipment the second he got his loans.

Of course, he's the guitar player for a fairly successful bluegrass band now, and has married the fiddle player, so in retrospect I guess it worked out pretty well for him.

[Edited for redundancy removal]

[ March 27, 2008, 08:38 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]
 
Posted by adfectio (Member # 11070) on :
 
quote:
2,000$ computer loan
*Drools*

You know the kind of Gaming rig you could pull together for that???
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Please do not encourage him.
 
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Actually, if Blayne is still in programming classes, he'll probably need to spend a good chunk of that on software.
 
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
Good for you. And your plan for the loans is excellent, that's what I did with mine.

quote:
Originally posted by Fusiachi:
No free lunch.

It's free for Blayne; the Canadian taxpayer is bearing the cost. So unless you are a Canadian taxpayer, how about some happiness for the good fortune of others?
 
Posted by James Tiberius Kirk (Member # 2832) on :
 
Sounds great Blayne -- congrats.

Small steps forward...

--j_k
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by adfectio:
quote:
2,000$ computer loan
*Drools*

You know the kind of Gaming rig you could pull together for that???

Me and my computer store friend are looking over the parts lists now, so far Core2 Quad 2.4 Ghz, 4 GB ram, new case, new mobo so far.
 
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
How soon are you moving out of your folks' place?
 
Posted by adfectio (Member # 11070) on :
 
Blayne, for what it's worth, I've been looking at quad cores as well, and right now, I'd almost consider A dual core. Intel has one coming out (or it might already be out) that is 3Ghz on both cores. One of my friends would swear by that one. Most programs aren't even optimized for dual cores, and quad cores aren't even in the question.

By the time they are really in need, you'll probably be looking at a new computer, anyway.

That way you can save a little bit there, and maybe splurge on a nicer monitor, or maybe a larger HDD.

I just checked, the 3Ghz Dual-core is out .


And here's the nicest Quad-core.


I guess the price difference is only $10 here. So it's really up to you. Just thought I'd add in my .02
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
the idea is that certain games are optimized for quad cores like Supreme Commander, im thinking quad for when the stuff that comes out for them eventually and not have to really worry about being update later on, this make sense?

Might go duo core.

I'll probly be moving out this summer, me and a friend are conducting preliminary plannings now.
 
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
You can get a E6750 for around $180. That's plenty fast for pretty much everything you're likely to do, at least over the next couple of years.
 
Posted by sylvrdragon (Member # 3332) on :
 
It really depends on if you plan on playing Crysis on max settings (or rather, attempting to). Short of that, those enormous quad cores are bit over the top.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
Supreme Commander is Optimized for Quad Core, some quad cores even come with the game.
 
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
 
Pretty self-defeating to be thinking about gaming away your loan when you are planning on moving out, which always costs more than you think. You're gonna need every cent you have from the computer loan to buy softwear and books; and probably hafta tap a bit into your burseries or normal loan too.
quote:
My application for financial aid has been approved...
...$7500 -- $3500 of it burseries aka free money, $2,000 computer loan, and remainder normal loan.
The loans btw are interest free for as long as I am a student.
quote:
No free lunch.
quote:
TANSTAAFL
quote:
It's free for Blayne; the Canadian taxpayer is bearing the cost.



Nope, the Canadian taxpayer is investing in Blayne, figuring he'll be making a lot more money after getting an education than he would if he did without. Making a lot more money means paying a LOT more in taxes. And that extra tax money will more than pay back the "free" parts of his loan, with INTEREST.
ie It ain't free unless he decides to waste this opportunity, then whiles away his life in poverty.

[ March 28, 2008, 04:23 AM: Message edited by: aspectre ]
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Come now, aspectre, have you been reading the thread? [Razz]
 
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
 
Yep. And too many people see their student aid as free money, then translate that "free" into "I can do whatever I want with it."
I'm agreeing with those who are saying, "Don't blow it. There are a lot of things that you must do with that money."
Assuming, of course, that one wants to end up with more than a debt and nothing to show for it.

[ March 28, 2008, 04:17 AM: Message edited by: aspectre ]
 
Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by TomDavidson:
Actually, if Blayne is still in programming classes, he'll probably need to spend a good chunk of that on software.

Like what? Even if he has to use Visual Studio (all of my programming classes used GCC in a linux or unix environment, but I understand that it varies from place to place), is he all that likely to need anything the free version doesn't provide? I'm a senior in computer engineering right now, and I can't recall ever having to buy any software for schoolwork.
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by aspectre:
Yep. And too many people see their student aid as free money, then translate that "free" into "I can do whatever I want with it."
I'm agreeing with those who are saying, "Don't blow it. There are a lot of things that you must do with that money."
Assuming, of course, that one wants to end up with more than a debt and nothing to show for it.

Yeahbut...

Oh, never mind.
 
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
 
*sigh* Blayne, don't spend your student loan money on a gaming machine. That would be both foolish and childish.

When you do spend a significant chunk of your student loan money on a gaming machine, though, and post a thread about it on Hatrack, please don't express surprise or offense when people get on your case for it, m'K?
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by King of Men:
... So unless you are a Canadian taxpayer, how about some happiness for the good fortune of others?

Woo! Justification for being snarky and sarcastic!
 
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ricree101:
quote:
Originally posted by TomDavidson:
Actually, if Blayne is still in programming classes, he'll probably need to spend a good chunk of that on software.

Like what? Even if he has to use Visual Studio (all of my programming classes used GCC in a linux or unix environment, but I understand that it varies from place to place), is he all that likely to need anything the free version doesn't provide? I'm a senior in computer engineering right now, and I can't recall ever having to buy any software for schoolwork.
I technically never had to buy any software myself either, either in school or professionally; it was provided on school computers. And, in the business sector, it was all the responsibility of my employer.

Even so, like you say, you can always get the "Express" or academic versions, and they are more than adequate for the demands of a school curriculum or even for basic contract work.

Out of curiosity, what's Visual Studio, the "real thing", at these days? I bought VS2005 Enterprise Architect for about a grand long ago.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
You know, people got on my case for openly doubting Blayne's stories of being physically abused by his father. Just saying, is all.

[ March 28, 2008, 09:58 AM: Message edited by: MrSquicky ]
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by MrSquicky:
You know, people got on my case for openly doubting Blayne stories of being physically abused by his father. Just saying, is all.

No one else here is doubting them, only a complete and utter asshole would doubt them when there is no evidence to say otherwise.
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Is there something here that you think vindicates your doubts?
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
Is there something here that you think vindicates your doubts?
Yes.
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
What?
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
Blayne shows no urgency in leaving what he claimed was an abusive situation.
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
No one else here is doubting them, only a complete and utter asshole would doubt them when there is no evidence to say otherwise.

I find it rather common to doubt many things people write on the Internet, good or bad, *especially* when there isn't proof either way.

If I understand correctly, the issue is not that MrSquickly is doubting something written on the Internet but the issue is that he is actually expressing that doubt in a depending on your POV, anti-social fashion. (Indeed, depending on your POV any expression of doubt may be anti-social)
 
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Blayne:

You could use that computer money to build your own computer-- learn by doing, you know? I wish that I had taken the time to learn all the ins and outs of making my own computer when I was your age-- it's a good skill to have, IMO, and with $2k, you can get a pretty good practical education about it.

[Smile]

Good luck, man!
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
quote:
Blayne shows no urgency in leaving what he claimed was an abusive situation.
I thought that was it. It's paltry evidence in support of your doubts.

I've witnessed at least a dozen people - mostly spouses, but several grown children as well - who not only showed no urgency in leaving what was definitely an abusive situation, but actively resisted efforts to have them leave. I successfully prosecuted two of those abusers against the wishes of the abused. I saw one victim come straight from the hospital where her broken arm had been set to bail out her abuser.

I witnessed all that in a mere 8 months of 1 day a week presence.

All of them complained about their abuser to third parties who did not interact with their abuser.

"Why didn't you leave sooner if it was so bad?" is a common question asked of victims by defense attorneys.
 
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by MrSquicky:
Blayne shows no urgency in leaving what he claimed was an abusive situation.

Do you think that there might be alternative explanations to this, other than 'He's lying?'

If there are other explanations, why do you choose 'lying' as the one on which to base your conclusion?
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
Blayne:

You could use that computer money to build your own computer-- learn by doing, you know? I wish that I had taken the time to learn all the ins and outs of making my own computer when I was your age-- it's a good skill to have, IMO, and with $2k, you can get a pretty good practical education about it.

[Smile]

Good luck, man!

Did I say I was buying a prefab piece of crud? No no no me and my friend whose dad owns a computer store are going over a list of parts we are going to individually order and warranty and put it all together.

Im going to also get a second HD3870 and cross fire em'.

I'm debating whether to get a second LCD screen or not. Currently im using a CRT as my second monitor.
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dagonee:
quote:
Blayne shows no urgency in leaving what he claimed was an abusive situation.
I thought that was it. It's paltry evidence in support of your doubts.

I've witnessed at least a dozen people - mostly spouses, but several grown children as well - who not only showed no urgency in leaving what was definitely an abusive situation, but actively resisted efforts to have them leave. I successfully prosecuted two of those abusers against the wishes of the abused. I saw one victim come straight from the hospital where her broken arm had been set to bail out her abuser.

I witnessed all that in a mere 8 months of 1 day a week presence.

All of them complained about their abuser to third parties who did not interact with their abuser.

"Why didn't you leave sooner if it was so bad?" is a common question asked of victims by defense attorneys.

I've had encredible difficulties in holding down a job, depending on said parents for transportation makes thing harder, them same parents also refusing to drive past a arbitrary point also makes it harder to find english speaking jobs that arent akin to manual labour slavery.
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
quote:
I've had encredible difficulties in holding down a job, depending on said parents for transportation makes thing harder, them same parents also refusing to drive past a arbitrary point also makes it harder to find english speaking jobs that arent akin to manual labour slavery.
Economic reasons are often cited by abuse victims as a reason for not leaving. I'm not going to comment on what I think of such reasons.

The point of my post is that not leaving is consistent with claims of abuse.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
I've witnessed at least a dozen people - mostly spouses, but several grown children as well - who not only showed no urgency in leaving what was definitely an abusive situation, but actively resisted efforts to have them leave.
Yes, and in those cases, I'm willing to bet that the abuse that we're talking about is of a very different degree than what Blayne has posted about and the reactions of the people were very different from Blayne's reactions.

Battered spouse (and child) syndrome comes with a full spectrum of things, most of which Blayne has not displayed and generally occurs in situations of severe, prolonged abuse. None of the cases I've read nor those I've interviewed sounded like a whiny teenager.

On the other hand, a lot of whiny teenagers make up stories about how badly their parents treat them, even to the point of saying that they hit them.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
Do you think that there might be alternative explanations to this, other than 'He's lying?'

If there are other explanations, why do you choose 'lying' as the one on which to base your conclusion?

Of course there are other explanations. Based on what I know of Blayne, that he's lying is by far the most plausible one.

---

Dag,
If you think Blayne is undergoing serious abuse, I've got to wonder about your apparent lack of action or concern about it.
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
I've had encredible difficulties in holding down a job, depending on said parents for transportation ...

Hmmmm, maybe you can consider getting adopted [Wink]
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
quote:
Yes, and in those cases, I'm willing to bet that the abuse that we're talking about is of a very different degree than what Blayne has posted about.
In some of those cases, yes. In more than half, that's not the case.

quote:
and the reactions of the people were very different from Blayne's reactions
I thought Blayne might be an abuse victim before he ever mentioned it online.

quote:
Battered spouse (and child) syndrome comes with a full spectrum of things, most of which Blayne has not displayed and generally occurs in situations of severe, prolonged abuse. None of the cases I've read nor those I've interviewed sounded like a whiny teenager.
Yes, but there are many abuse victims who don't really qualify for the diagnosis battered spouse syndrome yet who spent a long time suffering abuse without exhibiting an urgency to leave.

This was observed more frequently in the prosecutor's office amongst those who suffered periodic, low-level* abuse where there are economic difficulties in leaving.

*Low-level is meant here to distinguish from cases requiring medical treatment. Often they involve no marks at all.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
The point of my post is that not leaving is consistent with claims of abuse.
Depending on the situation. This is not the blanket rule that you seem to be treating it as.
 
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
Jobs akin to 'manual labor slavery' really aren't that bad. Don't look down on them, dude-- or any honest work.

:hitches suspenders, begins rocking in rocking chair:

When I was 13, I spent the summer painting fences on a ranch about thirty minutes from my home. This was in Texas; my dad would drive my brother and me to the ranch before sunrise, and pick us up after he was done with work. I learned to conserve energy; and to not call my older brother 'Cisco;' I learned that hard work is something to be proud of, even when your supervisor doesn't pay you fair wages.

I've got a summer's worth of Texas sun in my bones, now, and that's a hard thing for life to rub out.

I imagine the sun in Canada does the same thing.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
This was observed more frequently in the prosecutor's office amongst those who suffered periodic, low-level* abuse where there are economic difficulties in leaving.
Yes, and when granted the economic resources to leave, Blayne showed no real compunction to do so.
 
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by MrSquicky:
quote:
Do you think that there might be alternative explanations to this, other than 'He's lying?'

If there are other explanations, why do you choose 'lying' as the one on which to base your conclusion?

Of course there are other explanations. Based on what I know of Blayne, that he's lying is by far the most plausible one.

Okay. I don't think I can make the same assumption, based on what I know of Blayne.
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
I burn, and burning is very painful.
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by MrSquicky:
quote:
This was observed more frequently in the prosecutor's office amongst those who suffered periodic, low-level* abuse where there are economic difficulties in leaving.
Yes, and when granted the economic resources to leave, Blayne showed no real compunction to do so.
Proof? I only just now got both A) a summer contract and B) a lumpsum of money like virtually just yesterday I still need to arrange for when Im leaving, where I'm going, a vehical to move my crud, a budget, ground rules transportation between place and school and work, moving out is not trivial.

Its like trying to sketch x tan x.
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
quote:
If you think Blayne is undergoing serious* abuse, I've got to wonder about your apparent lack of action or concern about it.
There was action taken that accomplished more than I could have. I have no means to help beyond what was done. I did, in fact, contact an expert here with the situation after the first account I became aware of. The expert suggested there was nothing I could or should do unless there was a sense that it was escalating to serious danger.

I take this crap very seriously. I've contacted the FBI about some things I've witnessed here (unrelated to Blayne). I didn't post about it here, although I did contact individuals who needed to know or from whom I needed information.

You quite simply are mouthing off something (my concern or action) that you know nothing about.

*Adding in adjectives I haven't used doesn't add any credibility to your "wondering" about me.

quote:
Depending on the situation. This is not the blanket rule that you seem to be treating it as.
You're logic is faulty. I have seen examples of people in much the same situation as Blayne who didn't leave. Therefore, the mere fact that he didn't leave is not inconsistent with his story.

quote:
Yes, and when granted the economic resources to leave, Blayne showed no real compunction to do so.
Because no one is ever scared to move out on their own and totally support themselves. And people who are scared to do it always save their money and don't indulge in luxuries until they can leave.
 
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
I burn, and burning is very painful.

Sunscreen, man.

I'm serious.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
Also I am a foreign National in a completely different country from Dag, I am unaware of any law enforcement agency in the States as having authority in Canada.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
Dag,
I get that you disagree with me. I'm fine with it. I'm not basing what I'm saying off of flimsy evidence.

I also think you are hurting Blayne, that many people here are hurting Blayne, because they are letting him get away with not growing up. I'm never going to be okay with that.

edit: Also,
quote:
You're logic is faulty. I have seen examples of people in much the same situation as Blayne who didn't leave. Therefore, the mere fact that he didn't leave is not inconsistent with his story.
I'm pretty sure I didn't claim that I was basing this on because he didn't leave.
 
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
quote:
I am unaware of any law enforcement agency in the States as having authority in Canada.
Authority? Like legal authority? No.

But that's no obstacle.
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
I don't know about law enforcement agencies, but there is a Mountie in Chicago.
 
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
quote:
I also think you are hurting Blayne, that many people here are hurting Blayne, because they are letting him get away with not growing up. I'm never going to be okay with that.

Righteous!
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
quote:
I also think you are hurting Blayne, that many people here are hurting Blayne, because they are letting him get away with not growing up. I'm never going to be okay with that.
How, exactly, am I hurting Blayne. I haven't even said that I believe him. I've ventured no other opinion than "I've seen people who are being abused act in ways consistent with the way Blayne's acting."

I've said your evidence for disbelieving him seems to be based on some serious misunderstandings of what happens in some cases of low-level periodic abuse. Your attitude is one that causes people to delay reporting abuse even longer than they would otherwise.

What do accomplish by telling Blayne you think he's lying? There are people here urging him to move out. There are people here urging him to be more fiscally responsible. There are people here who have spent considerable time trying to help Blayne.

Are your belligerent attitude and statements that he's lying helping? Suppose you're right? What have you accomplished? Nothing. Do you think you're going to shock him into some sudden realization and fix his life? That's not going to happen.

Suppose you're wrong? You've perpetuated a stubborn myth that if people don't leave it means they aren't suffering minor periodic abuse.

quote:
I'm pretty sure I didn't claim that I was basing this on because he didn't leave.
Really? "Blayne shows no urgency in leaving what he claimed was an abusive situation."

This was posted - eventually - in response to a question about what in this thread vindicated your doubt:

quote:
You know, people got on my case for openly doubting Blayne's stories of being physically abused by his father. Just saying, is all.
This sentence seems to be an attempt to say "you guys shouldn't have gotten on my case, because there's evidence to support my doubts in this thread." When asked to clarify, you said it was the lack of urgency that provided that evidence.
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by MrSquicky:

And right now, your hurting me, I have been into some really bad situations with my family and your disbelief in them only upsets me. Do you want me to take a picture of my glasses and email it to you so you can see the damage caused to them when I was punched in the face and they went flying across the room? Damage that has yet to be repaired? My eyes keep trying to compensate for it and its straining my vision.
 
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
 
One thing I haven't noticed you mentioning, Blayne, is plans to buy a car with this substantial lump of money you're getting.

I recall more than one occasion when lack of transportation was a reason given for problems in your life.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
Really? "Blayne shows no urgency in leaving what he claimed was an abusive situation."

This was posted - eventually - in response to a question about what in this thread vindicated your doubt:

Yes, which is not because he didn't leave, but about his attitude. He shows absoluely no urgency. It's not an issue to him.
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
Fine, substitute "shows no urgency to leave" for leave in my comments if you want. It doesn't change things, and the people I've seen have also expressed no urgency.
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
... your disbelief in them only upsets me ... My eyes keep trying to compensate for it and its straining my vision.

To be precise, his *expression* of his disbelief is upsetting you. His disbelief on its own is not.

Also, against my better judgement as someone that stands to make a tiny fractional profit from your purchase of a HD3870, would it not make more sense to fix your glasses?
 
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
Damage that has yet to be repaired? My eyes keep trying to compensate for it and its straining my vision.

Good thing you're about to have the money for new glasses. [Smile]
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
I 'show' no urgency to anything in my entire life, there could be an armed robber telling me give him my wallet and I would still would still in mid motion of handing it over stop to look at a funny looking rock on the side walk which just happens to have a butterfly a really cool looking butterfly flying on top of it, and wondering what it would be like if butterflies could talk all the while the armed robber has cocked his gun in impatience and slowly raising it to eye level.

However carrying on, while I show or more accurately display no urgency to anything I still nonetheless recognize what my priorities are, what I should be doing, what I should be doing etc and planning for it and understanding whats important, that I don't show the slightest spec of stress no matter how serious the situation is simply my personality, I've gotten into accidents and rather then being worried I stare blankly at the wound in question wondering when its going to hurt.
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
quote:
that I don't show the slightest spec of stress no matter how serious the situation
Blayne, how on earth can you say this with a straight face? You show enormous signs of stress here, pretty much every day.

quote:
I still nonetheless recognize what my priorities are, what I should be doing,
This is what causes many of us to worry - it doesn't seem as if the priorities you recognize are the ones that would benefit you the most.

In fact, some of the priorities you hold seem to be actually counterproductive.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
What do accomplish by telling Blayne you think he's lying?
Do you not see a benefit in letting immature people like Blayne know that people can and will see through them? Blayne's big problem is that he has never grown up. His lies here are the lies of a child who is angry at his parents.

This behavior isn't going to stop when it keeps getting him what he wants and he's getting out of the stage where he's got the security cushion for growing up.

---

So people don't take away that abused people should just up and leave and that it is their fault if they don't, I am only talking about the specifics of all the details that go into this case and nothing I've said should be taken as any sort of general principle.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
Fine, substitute "shows no urgency to leave" for leave in my comments if you want. It doesn't change things, and the people I've seen have also expressed no urgency.
If so, I think you and I live in different worlds. The people I have dealt with universally have. It is a source of considerable stress to them.

How closely did you deal with the abused people? Also, what's your training in how to deal with them?
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by rivka:
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
Damage that has yet to be repaired? My eyes keep trying to compensate for it and its straining my vision.

Good thing you're about to have the money for new glasses. [Smile]
Huh. That never actually occured to me, that is possibly a really good idea.

As for a car, its possible a friend of a friend might give me there used jobby but I lack a drivers licsense of any form of drivers ed at all. It is something that I'll have to work towards during the summer, currently getting A+ Certified is a tad higher priority though.
 
Posted by cassv746 (Member # 11173) on :
 
Why did this thread, (like so many others pertaining to this) turn into a fight?

Blayne, congrats on the money. Use it wisely. That's all I have to say.
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
Damage that has yet to be repaired?
What did your parents give you for Christmas again?
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dagonee:
quote:
that I don't show the slightest spec of stress no matter how serious the situation
Blayne, how on earth can you say this with a straight face? You show enormous signs of stress here, pretty much every day.

quote:
I still nonetheless recognize what my priorities are, what I should be doing,
This is what causes many of us to worry - it doesn't seem as if the priorities you recognize are the ones that would benefit you the most.

In fact, some of the priorities you hold seem to be actually counterproductive.

I think I may have been thinking more of what I displayed more of a physically expressing and assumed that my online typing reflected this, if this is not the case I am surprised. As I am only aware of talking about my situation only a few times. Mostly I think I try to remain positive and forward thinking.
 
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
that I don't show the slightest spec of stress no matter how serious the situation is simply my personality

Blayne, I believe that you conceive of yourself as someone who doesn't ever display stress, but how do you reconcile that with your behavior when, for example, Primal Curve is pushing your buttons?
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
quote:
Do you not see a benefit in letting immature people like Blayne know that people can and will see through them?
Not based on the evidence you have here.

quote:
Blayne's big problem is that he has never grown up. His lies here are the lies of a child who is angry at his parents.
Even if that's true, any lying he may or may not be doing is a symptom of that lack of growing up. You're not coming close to addressing the actual issue, even if your assessment is accurate.

quote:
If so, I think you and I live in different worlds. The people I have dealt with universally have. It is a source of considerable stress to them.
Based on an earlier post of yours, it seems as if your experience with them has been in a clinical setting. Were these people who came to the clinical setting voluntarily? If so, they are in a very different situation from someone who is talking to a prosecutor because a third party called the police on their abuser. It's not surprising their sense of awareness about the situation would be greater in the clinical setting.

Moreover, as I stated before, this is not just my opinion. Someone who does this for a living evaluated the evidence available to us (it was some time ago, but certainly after you expressed your doubts) and reached this same conclusion - that Blayne's actions and attitude are not inconsistent with being abused, and that he exhibits certain signs suggestive of having been abused even in posts where he doesn't talk about it.
 
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dagonee:
quote:
I still nonetheless recognize what my priorities are, what I should be doing,
This is what causes many of us to worry - it doesn't seem as if the priorities you recognize are the ones that would benefit you the most.

In fact, some of the priorities you hold seem to be actually counterproductive.

Blayne, you know that this is part of what makes me worried that there are unacknowledged challenges of some sort in your life. We have talked about this before. I am still hoping you will find your way to a formal assessment.

For example, if there had been a history of alcohol exposture during your fetal development, you might have some of the following characteristics:

quote:
- Immature social/emotional development: friends are younger, shunned by peers of same age, overly friendly to strangers, no long-term healthy "best friend"

- Emotional lability: can't hide feelings, rollercoaster emotions, feelings are "out there"

- Poorly developed conscience: conscience development of a 6-year-old, lacks mature altruism, rather self-centered, lies to cover up mistakes

- Lack of consistent impulse control: sometimes can control impulse, sometimes cannot, more likely to control impulse in presence of an authority figure, sometimes there is a gap between thought and action

- Inability to learn from consequences: knows the rules, understands cause and effect, doesn't make the connection at the time of action, or doesn't remember the rules or consequences, or thinks "This time I might not get caught."

- Good expressive language skills: can talk the talk but can't walk the walk, verbal skills much better than writing skills, good articulation masks poor comprehension.

- Artistic: likely to have some unusual talent, even with poor fine motor skills, may be good artist, or excel in music, or be good in mechanics.

- Attention and short-term memory deficits: not always hyperactive, but cannot stay focused, easily distracted by external stimuli, can remember events from past but not rules from yesterday.

- Inappropriate social interactions: stands too close, stares, interrupts, forgets manners, cannot act as a true friend, cannot keep confidences, shares personal information, inappropriate sexual behavior.

- Difficulty managing money: spends paycheck right away, cannot plan or carry through with a monthly budget, cannot distinguish the value of $5,000 vs $500,000, makes extravegant purchases beyond means.

- Poor concept of time: difficulty keeping appointments, lives in the moment, forgets what happened yesterday; cannot plan well for the future.

- Grandiose ideas that they cannot attain: unrealistic life goals, unrealistic self-image, distorted view of themselves and the world.

- Poor judgment: difficulty making wise decisions, lack of common sense, inability to accurately assess risk factors.

- Vulnerability and naiveté: easily influenced or manipulated by others, impressionable, follows unhealthy leaders, cannot easily distinguish truth from lies, trusts without merit, may confess to crimes not committed.

All of the above set the individuals up to fail. They end up making the same mistakes again and again. They are the ones who are easily involved in wrongdoing and the first ones to get caught.

(from this webpage on "FASD Soft Signs")

Obviously, I have no idea if this is what is going on, and it would be irresponsible in the extreme for me to assume I could make a diagnosis like that based on just what I know of you through the internet.

However, there are many such lists of constellations of characteristics, and many overlap. Things are consistently troubling and challenging for you in consistent enough ways that I would really like to see someone trained in this area sit down and work through it with you on a formal basis. Whether it is learning difficulties alone, or learning difficulties with something like FASD, or something else entirely -- regardless, for most of these things, there is help and there are additional resources available for people who need them.

---

I like you a lot. I like your warmth and sense of humor, I like your enthusiasm, and I like your abashed and unabashed delight in the world. I want to see you do well.

I hope being this specific again about my concerns isn't harmful overall, and that it doesn't come off as if I don't think you are a fine person. I just worry about you. (I'll drop it again after this, at least until 2009. *grin)

[ March 28, 2008, 12:14 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]
 
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
 
quote:
Based on an earlier post of yours, it seems as if your experience with them has been in a clinical setting.
I'm not free to talk much about this. Yes, it was in a clinical setting. Yes, I did recieve training in working with abused. No, I'm not an expert at it nor am I licensed in any capacity for it. That's largely all I'm willing to say.

edit:
Honestly Dag, unless you can point me to the things that your expert saw (which obviously should not be done in an online forum), I don't think we're going to come to any agreement. I do take this seriously. I do want to help. And I have confidence that my view is not built on flismy evidence or a mistaken understanding of the things involved.
 
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Noemon:
Blayne, I believe that you conceive of yourself as someone who doesn't ever display stress, but how do you reconcile that with your behavior when, for example, Primal Curve is pushing your buttons?

Especially when said buttons are so big and shiny.
 
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
quote:
Im going to also get a second HD3870 and cross fire em'.

I'm debating whether to get a second LCD screen or not. Currently im using a CRT as my second monitor.

I'm fairly certain that you cannot use multiple monitors when SLI/Crossfire is enabled. Note, too, that buying two HD3870s is rather pointless when one 8800GTS G92 is faster and cheaper.
 
Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
quote:
Originally posted by rivka:
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
Damage that has yet to be repaired? My eyes keep trying to compensate for it and its straining my vision.

Good thing you're about to have the money for new glasses. [Smile]
Huh. That never actually occured to me, that is a stupendously brilliant idea. I'm going to get right on that. Thanks!

There, fixed your post a bit for you, Blayne.

Good luck with everything, it seems that things are going okay for you.

-Bok
 
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
 
quote:
I'm not free to talk much about this.
Understood.

I think the different context might explain much of the difference in our experiences. My judgments on this are all evidentiary in nature - people who have suffered X have done and said Y enough times that I don't find doing and saying Y to be evidence of not X.
 
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese:
Blayne, you know that this is part of what makes me worried that there are unacknowledged challenges of some sort in your life. We have talked about this before. I am still hoping you will find your way to a formal assessment.

A clarification: I had meant to include your comment about wondering when a wound would hurt here, as well. Altered pain response is also one of the things that can point to a neuroprocessing challenge, and it is on several of those overlapping lists of characteristics that I pointed out.

I meant to include that above, but I posted too soon. Just consider this an addendum.

---

Edited to add: Oh! And congratulations on wending your way through the student loan process successfully! [Smile]
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
So far I think I am listed as having Dysphasia.
 
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ClaudiaTherese:
Oh! And congratulations on wending your way through the student loan process successfully! [Smile]

Seconded!

How's it going with the A+ certification, by the way? When I got mine, years and years ago, it was an absurdly easy pair of tests to pass, but I've heard that they've made them more involved since then.
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
I havent started or applied yet, I am still figuring out the 'how to take it' part, of like where do I need to go, do need to get a manual are there classes.

so far i am not worried about passing it, my mom has this friend who not to be mean to the gal if she can pass it then what am i worrying about.
 
Posted by BlueWizard (Member # 9389) on :
 
Did it ever occur to anyone that perhaps Blayne would appreciate it if his personal life was not bandied about like so much Internet fodder?

This may have been discussed or mentioned in other threads, but, to my knowledge, Blayne did not post an invitation in this thread to discuss the intimate aspects of his life.

Curious and interesting as it may be, I don't think it is proper to carry on an open forum discussion of someone's private life.

Steve/bluewizard
 
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by cassv746:
Why did this thread, (like so many others pertaining to this) turn into a fight?

Largely because people are trying to help Blayne with this:
quote:
Blayne, congrats on the money. Use it wisely. That's all I have to say.

 
Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
He has posted about his personal life numerous times, so to ignore what he's posted would seem disingenuous.

-Bok
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
Until I need em Ill be putting the part to be paid back money into a whatchamacallit, savings account.
 
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
 
It scares me, slightly, that you don't appear to be fully aware of what a savings account is called. One might consider doing some research into this.
 
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by BlueWizard:
Curious and interesting as it may be, I don't think it is proper to carry on an open forum discussion of someone's private life.

I myself don't find it "curious" or "interesting." I would say I find it concerning, though.

I would rather speak about my concerns openly than behind his back. I would rather not speak about them at all, but when it has been an area of recurrent contention amongst this general group of friends -- for years, over and over and over again, to the extremity of responses it has drawn from Blayne -- I judge it better to speak openly, briefly, and leave that perspective out there than to either ignore the onnnnnnnnngoing (and, I think, at least sometimes underinformed) interpersonal conflicts or to try to address it in a widespread way behind his back.

Your judgement may differ. I am perfectly fine with that, and I am comfortable with where my judgement has led me.
 
Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by BlueWizard:
Did it ever occur to anyone that perhaps Blayne would appreciate it if his personal life was not bandied about like so much Internet fodder?

Blue Wizard inadvertently wins the thread.
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Human:
It scares me, slightly, that you don't appear to be fully aware of what a savings account is called. One might consider doing some research into this.

Thats why when i go to the bank I'll be asking them which kind of account is best for giving me money from interest.
 
Posted by adfectio (Member # 11070) on :
 
It is their job. So as long as he knows enough to know which questions to ask, I think he's in the clear.
 
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
 
Better idea: Do research yourself, beforehand. The banks are going to tell you what they want you to do; what's best for THEM. Do your own research first, find out what YOU want, and then find a bank that has that--don't rely on other people to tell you what to do all the time! You have a brain, though it seems to misfire frequently--use it.
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
Use BMO or RBC [Wink]

But seriously, you should be able to get between 3% or 4%, shop around if you get anything less.

You may find the last few pages of this useful
link

[ March 28, 2008, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: Mucus ]
 
Posted by camus (Member # 8052) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
As for a car, its possible a friend of a friend might give me there used jobby but I lack a drivers licsense of any form of drivers ed at all. It is something that I'll have to work towards during the summer, currently getting A+ Certified is a tad higher priority though.

I don't know the details regarding why A+ certification is of immediate importance to you, but you may want to spend some more time considering the immediate benefits of having a driver's license versus the immediate benefits of having A+ certification and how your lack of having a driver's license has made you very dependent on others.
 
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by camus:
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
As for a car, its possible a friend of a friend might give me there used jobby but I lack a drivers licsense of any form of drivers ed at all. It is something that I'll have to work towards during the summer, currently getting A+ Certified is a tad higher priority though.

I don't know the details regarding why A+ certification is of immediate importance to you, but you may want to spend some more time considering the immediate benefits of having a driver's license versus the immediate benefits of having A+ certification and how your lack of having a driver's license has made you very dependent on others.
I'll agree with this. Getting yourself independently mobile should definitely be a priority, will probably take less time than the A+ certification, and will definitely open up many more paths for your future. I'd hate to see you earn your certification and then be completely unable to use it because you can't get to a job.
 
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 
I believe Blayne currently lives significantly outside a city, which is why public transportation doesn't work for him. If his school and job are in the city (not sure about this), then it might be better to move into the city and use public transit than buy a car and have to deal with the associated baggage - license, insurance, maintenance.
 
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
 
That could very well be. Or he could get a motorcyle (and safely and conservatively operate it). Whatever the case, I think being capable of your own mobility is a helluva lot more important than having a bitchinrad machine.
 
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
 
I admit I don't know the entire situation here as I have avoided these discussions, but in my opinion getting a "bitchinrad machine" does not get you out of the house, which seems to be the root of the problem.

Sitting in the virtual dark playing video games, albeit entertaining, is not growth. And there will always be time for that in the future; you have to get your priorities straight, and attack the immediate necessities.

The world does not come to you at your convenience; you have to go outside and reach for it. Getting reliable transportation - be it a car, scooter, skateboard, helicopter... whatever it may be - will open up more opportunities for growth than you apparently realize.
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
Actually, he's already noted that the $2000, while still a loan (and will have to repaid at some future date), is specifically earmarked for computer equipment anyways.

While he might be able to get his glasses fixed and justify that as a computer expense, a vehicle or transit passes would be even harder to justify.

So its not really an either/or thing here.

http://www.afe.gouv.qc.ca/en/pretsBourses/fraisMaterielInformatique.asp
 
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
 
Cars got computers these days, don't they? [Wink]

Bah... they ask for receipts. I never realized that had such a specific purpose.

Well, if the $2K can *ONLY* be used for a computer, unless you really want to increase your personal debt there's no real reason to spent every last penny on a computer. Get the barebone computer to fulfill the task, and get software relating to your studies. And does that cover computer books, reference materials and the like?
 
Posted by camus (Member # 8052) on :
 
Regardless of how the money is used, I still think Blayne should spend some time considering the benefits of a driver's license. That doesn't mean he has to purchase a car with his student loan money, but at least it's a step towards independence.

Blayne, what are the costs associated in getting just a driver's license? You'll need to get one sometime in life, so you might as well start now looking into and planning for the costs and effort. It's not a bad idea to begin planning for things even before you are ready or able to do them.
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
im looking into it, doesnt look cheap or convenient though.
 
Posted by The Genuine (Member # 11446) on :
 
Do you at least have a state-issued i.d.? How do you board planes? Passport?
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
plaaanes? Whats a plane? pass-....porrrrt.... leaaave... canada? *confused look*
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
AAAAHHHHHHKKKK!!!!! ITS THE GENUINE!!! AAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!! [Eek!] When did you get over here!?
 
Posted by The Genuine (Member # 11446) on :
 
I've been here a long time! I just usually post in my other account, "Scott R".
 
Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
What!? Wha, what, are you?! What. I don wha? What? Come on? What? what.
 
Posted by camus (Member # 8052) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Sid Meier:
im looking into it, doesnt look cheap or convenient though.

not many things are
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
Blayne should have a provincially-issued health card. Thats the closest analogue I can think of to a state-issued i.d. that almost every Canadian should have.
 
Posted by The Genuine (Member # 11446) on :
 
Is there a picture i.d. on it?
 
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
 
Depends on the province I think, that and how old your health card is.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
mine has id yes.
 
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
Hey Blayne you can have my A+ study guide for free if you send me your mailing address. (just email me through the forum)

It's for the 2003 version of the certification, so you'll need to supplement it with something else to be ready for the newer version, but a lot of it will still be applicable.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
sent ze email.
 
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
Cool.

Whether you need a class to pass the A+ certification depends on your learning style. If you can handle independent study then you can easily learn everything you need to know for the test from online sources or a printed study guide. Online classes are available. They can get a bit expensive. In-person classes are probably best if you have a hard time concentrating or if you learn best from hands-on experience. (You can also work on old used computers to get the hands on experience.)

The cost to take the test is around $200 (US). It's often discounted if you purchase a certain book, or take a certain class. You have to get to a Prometric or Vue testing center. You can find details on the CompTIA website.

---

Note I'm not trying to influence any decision about your educational/situational priorities, just figured I'd share a couple of details about A+ since I recently got it. [Smile]

Book will be on the way sometime in the next week or so.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
Can I have permission to send baggering once a day everyday until you mail it? Its what I did with TomDavidson when he sent me a Shadow Series book by OSC.
 
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
I see the thread has moved on a bit, but oh well.

quote:
Originally posted by aspectre:
[QB]
quote:
It's free for Blayne; the Canadian taxpayer is bearing the cost.
Nope, the Canadian taxpayer is investing in Blayne, figuring he'll be making a lot more money after getting an education than he would if he did without. Making a lot more money means paying a LOT more in taxes. And that extra tax money will more than pay back the "free" parts of his loan, with INTEREST.
I didn't say it was a bad deal for the Canadian taxpayer. But it is a cost. Investing isn't free. When you put money in the bank, you are giving up the use of that money for the time being. That's a cost.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
speaking of investing, KoM how much to bribe you out of the war [Smile]
 
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
Blayne, I guess so. I won't guarantee it'll make me send it faster, though. [Smile]
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
Itll make me feel like im accomplishing something [Smile]
 
Posted by Human (Member # 2985) on :
 
I can see why that'd be something you'd feel a strong desire for.
 
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
I've told you, Blayne: I'm not abandoning my allies. Now I know I've got a bit of a reputation, but you have to realise this: All my backstabs in the Great Game were intended as war-winning endgame gambits. The execution was flawed, but the idea was always to overrun China while your troops were elsewhere, remove the threat to my Siberian provinces and add Chinese resources to my industry, and then crush the European powers piecemeal. That's not going to be possible in TWBW no matter who I stab. This being so, my options change: Reputation is now important. Look up 'iterated Prisoner's Dilemma' to see what I'm talking about; at the moment, the shadow of the future is long.
 
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
About the drivers license... A friend of mine from Quebec got her license when she moved to Alberta since, she told me, getting her drivers license in Quebec would have cost her over $2000. IIRC, it involved mandatory drivers ed, which was the most expensive component. Much cheaper in Alberta and, really, every other province than Quebec. This was in the early 1990s.

I don't know if it's still the same way, but if it is, then getting a drivers license there is not something that's done that easily for most people.
 
Posted by cassv746 (Member # 11173) on :
 
$2000?!?!?! Wow. [Eek!] That is a crazy huge amount.
 
Posted by Xaposert (Member # 1612) on :
 
quote:
My application for financial aid has been approved I have money!!!!!!!
Blayne, you do not have money. Someone else has money and is letting you use it for a while. Please note the difference and be very careful how you use it, as you will be paying interest on it soon enough if you can't pay it back.

---

Also, I'd just like to point out that it is pretty difficult to give accurate advice on how to make important life decisions based solely on what you know about a person from the way that person describes himself on an online forum. While there are many people here who like to be helpful, I don't think it is wise to assume we can know what is best for Blayne.
 
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
Hmm... would it be evil to agree to abandon the Western Alliance in exchange for a share of Blayne's real-life money? Applying for a green card is going to be extremely expensive...
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
Could be arranged... could be arranged...
 
Posted by JonHecht (Member # 9712) on :
 
I'd like to see that on the receipt: bribe.
 
Posted by The Genuine (Member # 11446) on :
 
Blayne, I think you're kidding, toying. But if you're not, you're going to land up a bum on the street.

Focus, man! Before you spend a dime of that money, figure out where and what you want to be in five years. Is "bankrupt video game king" really your goal?
 
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Yeah, and if Canadian student loans are anything like American student loans, even bankruptcy won't save you.
 
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
Don't worry, gentlemen, the Winter and the war-weariness of the Italian troops did what Blayne's diplomacy couldn't, and saved his bacon. I think I shall give up on invading Russia, it's at the edge of my logistics anyway, and instead concentrate on those neighbours of mine, who proved so faithless in this war. No bribes required. [Smile]
 


Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2