This could have been the best hatrack thread of all time.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
It still can. Don't let me stop you.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
Gandalf, definately. Gandalf has a sword for one, an enchanted sword! And the Elvin Ring of fire.
What does Jesus have? Nothing that wasn't already claimed by like 25 other "Messiahs".
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
OH THATS IT! He can CLONE HIMSELF!!!!
Posted by T:man (Member # 11614) on :
Mithrandir Would win
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
It helps that Jesus is a pacifist that wants/doesn't mind/doesn't resist death.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Both of them are capable of resurrecting from death, so just how are we measuring victory here? And against that sword of Gandalf's, let me point out that Jesus casts a mean curse, at least if the target is a fig tree. You never know, it might work on humans too.
Posted by EmpSquared (Member # 10890) on :
Jesus can resurrect from death willingly. Wasn't Gandalf resurrected somewhat indirectly?
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
Same way you deal with respawning players in Doom I'd guess. First deity (Gandalf isn't quite human) that hits a certain frag count wins.
Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
The Doctor flies in, sticks his head out of the TARDIS, laughs, and goes off to have some fun in Barcelona. (The planet.)
Posted by Elmer's Glue (Member # 9313) on :
Is it Gandalf the White or Gandalf the Gray? Is it pre-resurrection Jesus or after?
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
Well, seeing as how Tolkien was Catholic and in many ways intended LotR to be a Catholic story, Jesus being much higher on the religious food chain than Gandalf (Grey or White) would win easily.
Doy!
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
On the other hand, the New Testament is also a Catholic story yet Jesus is killed by a few puny humans *shrug*
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Um. Jesus has a very protective father.
And a very powerful one.
Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
To quote a different franchise from the Testaments, "it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you"
It doesn't matter that Jesus "could" call down fire and brimstone if he in fact doesn't and prefers to preach about love.
Posted by T:man (Member # 11614) on :
While Gandalf smites fire demons.
Does Jesus have 2 hunter body guards? (in legendary mode)
Posted by Starsnuffer (Member # 8116) on :
A comment on the accuracy of: "Well, seeing as how Tolkien was Catholic and in many ways intended LotR to be a Catholic story" from Rakeesh.
The edition of the LOTR that I read had a preface by tolkien in which he said blatantly that he intended no symbolism nor allusion in his story, but that people were free to read whatever they wanted into it as long as they realized he didn't intend any.
I say Gandalf also.
Posted by Threads (Member # 10863) on :
The problem with Gandalf is that if he dies then he is done. Jesus seems to be able to circumvent that problem Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Why would they fight?
Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
quote:Originally posted by Threads: The problem with Gandalf is that if he dies then he is done. Jesus seems to be able to circumvent that problem
Which is, again, why I think The Doctor would step in and mop the floor with both of them.
[/derail]
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Why would the Doctor fight Jesus? Or Gandalf?
Posted by Occasional (Member # 5860) on :
Jesus is G-d. Jesus' Father is G-d. Jesus participated in the creation of the World and will participate in the World's destruction.
Gandalf knows a few real cool majic tricks and cheats death. He doesn't get resurrected.
Posted by Trent Destian (Member # 11653) on :
umm...do we all forget? Gandalf has a hat and can blow smoke rings. Point proven? I think so.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Gandalf is also a god. A polytheistic minor one, but a god none-the-less. And he doesn't die or get resurrected, his human avatar does. He just goes back to Valinor and then returns to Middle Earth. I say Gandalf wins.
Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
quote:Originally posted by Scott R: Why would the Doctor fight Jesus? Or Gandalf?
Well, if we go with the premise that Jesus and Gandalf are fighting, that's a gargantuan battle that has the potential of ripping apart the seams of reality.
Someone has to fix that stuff.
Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
Oh, please, don't ever let me have to choose sides between the Doctor and Jesus.
Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
quote:Originally posted by JennaDean: Oh, please, don't ever let me have to choose sides between the Doctor and Jesus.
Have you accepted The Doctor as your Time Lord and Savior?
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
quote:Gandalf is also a god. A polytheistic minor one, but a god none-the-less.
I believe God (big G) trumps god (little g).
Jesus is omnipotent. Gandalf is not. Gandalf could only win if Jesus allowed him too. If it was Jesus' will that Gandalf win, can it really be claimed that Jesus "lost"?
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:if we go with the premise that Jesus and Gandalf are fighting
I asked about this first. I don't accept it as a given that they would fight.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
I'd be more interested in hearing about Tom Bombadil vs Gandalf-- even Gandalf the White.
Though I can't think of a reason they would fight, either.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by Scott R: I'd be more interested in hearing about Tom Bombadil vs Gandalf-- even Gandalf the White.
Though I can't think of a reason they would fight, either.
For your speculative amusement no doubt. Posted by Mucus (Member # 9735) on :
quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: I believe God (big G) trumps god (little g).
How Judeo-Christian-centric of you. I prefer to think that in this age of equality one would not practise discrimination against the gods on the basis of a big 'G' or a little 'g'. Wouldn't want to get sued by the god Zeus
quote: If it was Jesus' will that Gandalf win, can it really be claimed that Jesus "lost"?
If someone loses intentionally to you while playing chess, it still counts as a loss for them on the board, even if it is Kasparov that is intentionally losing.
Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
quote:Have you accepted The Doctor as your Time Lord and Savior?
He's my Time Lord alright. Hasn't had opportunity to save me ... yet ... I'm waiting....
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
What are the rules to this game?
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
rules?
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Chess?
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Gandalf vs. Yoda?
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
Oh that's a hard one.
Mmmmm... still Gandalf though.
Back on the Jesus vs Gandalf fight, you know what I think would actually happen? I think Gandalf would go all "You shall not pass." on Jesus, and Jesus would be all "Love your neighbor." and would just sit down on the bridge and light up a pipe, and then Gandalf would see that and ask for a pull off of it, and then they'd just end up in the most awesome and colossal smoke ring/ship/object blowing contest of all time.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Oh, excellent.
Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
Are we talking pre-resurrection or post-resurrection Jesus?
Once Jesus ascended to heaven didn't his body become immortal. It's not like he can die again. All Jesus would have to do in order to win is judge Gandalf and cast him to Hell, outer darkness, purgatory, whatever.
Gandalf would have nothing on a resurrected Jesus. If it was a fight between the mortal pre-resurrected Jesus and Gandalf the Grey, I would have to agree with Alcon on the colossal smoke ring/ship/object contest.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: rules?
Like...what parts of each contestant's story are we allowed to use for our evaluation?
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
Even pre-resurrection Jesus was capable of awesome parlor tricks. See turning water into wine, (ultimate kegger trick), walking on water, (ultimate surfer trick), turning rocks into bread,(ultimate culinary trick). He escaped murderous crowds on multiple occasions and no explanation was given as to how. Also cursing the fig tree was pretty intense. TBH barring God willing that Gandalf defeat Jesus it simply would not happen.
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
If Gandalf fought Jesus we would all be the losers.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
I think Jesus could be easier pwned if he was pulled into Middle Earth.
Posted by Zhil (Member # 10504) on :
Gandalf: Your powers are weak, old man.
Jesus: You can't win, Gandalf. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
Posted by Javert (Member # 3076) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zhil: Gandalf: Your powers are weak, old man.
Jesus: You can't win, Gandalf. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
So...Jesus will turn into a ghost that gives common sense advice to a spunky teenager?
Posted by Zhil (Member # 10504) on :
I wasn't taking the analogy that far. Just that Jesus becomes more powerful than Gandalf.
But... if you consider the trinity to be a single "god", then the holy ghost is Jesus, and then...
Yea I dunno. Posted by C3PO the Dragon Slayer (Member # 10416) on :
quote:Originally posted by Javert:
quote:Originally posted by Zhil: Gandalf: Your powers are weak, old man.
Jesus: You can't win, Gandalf. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
So...Jesus will turn into a ghost that gives common sense advice to a spunky teenager?
Actually, that sounds exactly right. This thread reminds me of the Star Wars vs. Star Trek battles you find around the nets.
I suggest we rename this thread to "Trek Wars for atheists"!
Posted by Occasional (Member # 5860) on :
"So...Jesus will turn into a ghost that gives common sense advice to a spunky teenager?"
C3PO, that does sound exactly right from a Mormon perspective. Except for the turning into a ghost thing. Unless the very act of dying (resurrected or not) makes you a ghost. I have heard critics call Moroni and Peter, James, and John ghosts when angels are theologically more correct.
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Overlooking the battle plain Sharing a diet coke and some Crispy Creams Sauron and Satan have lain Watching the battle of thier dreams
With each death and ressurection They begin to debate why The fools come back again and again "Hey yo, why won't they die?"
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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This thread reminds me of the Star Wars vs. Star Trek battles you find around the nets.