what do you do when a man is hitting on you and you aren't interested?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Tell him I am not interested, thank him for being nice, and then pay attention to my BlackBerry.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Mention my husband.
Posted by Gecko (Member # 8160) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: Mention my husband.
Fishing for a possible menage a trois?
Posted by Mike (Member # 55) on :
I'm confused, I thought Phanto was a guy. Unless...
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
He is.
I think he's doing research. Maybe trying to figure out whether he'll need protective gear?
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
As a guy, I've reconciled the fact that women frequently send signals that I totally miss. Whether the signal is 'I think you're really cute' or 'I'm 5 seconds away from reaching for pepper spray', I still can't decode them.
Posted by scholarette (Member # 11540) on :
I had a guy hitting on me in front of my husband. I kept flashing the wedding ring and mentioning the husband, but the guy didn't get it. My husband got somewhat annoyed and came closer, gave me a kiss, to which I responded with a more passionate kiss at which point the guy went away.
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Originally posted by El JT de Spang: As a guy, I've reconciled the fact that women frequently send signals that I totally miss. Whether the signal is 'I think you're really cute' or 'I'm 5 seconds away from reaching for pepper spray', I still can't decode them.
Herman!
My personal solution is to ask questions like "Do you like me?" and "Are you thinking of spraying me with mace right now?"
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Okay. That really made me laugh. Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
Tell him I'm married. If that doesn't work ( and it somtimes doesn't) I pick my nose.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
quote:Originally posted by El JT de Spang: As a guy, I've reconciled the fact that women frequently send signals that I totally miss. Whether the signal is 'I think you're really cute' or 'I'm 5 seconds away from reaching for pepper spray', I still can't decode them.
I second that.
I had a discussion much like this with a friend of mine the other day who was complaining about guys never picking up her signals.
I responded that if she wanted a guy who picked up signals, she either needed to date a Boy Scout or a traffic controller, cause the rest of us aren't getting it.
Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
I think it's because men and women just have totally different means of communicating.
A girl thinks she's giving a guy a clear signal by looking at him and touching her hair. The guy just assumes (if he even notices her touching her hair, which is doubtful) her hair is itching her neck, never for a second thinking the hair touch has anything to do with him.
A girl thinks she's being overly forward by touching a guy's elbow as she brushes past him at a party. The guy thinks he's in her way, and hurries to move.
And so goes the dance...
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
Actually, rivka, I've played on both teams -- guess which one is more fun ? ^^;;
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
You've been both a man and a woman?
Aren't you like 19 or 20?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I'm generally the one who doesn't pick on signals until it is too late. I'm usually clued in when he gets pissy, acts, hurt, and then is rude for the next week. Gyah!
As a side note, I think the "You like me, I can't tell" is the worst approach ever. It's asking me to be vulnerable without giving me a reason to be. Of course I'm going to brush him off and turn it into a joke! Of course! ESPECIALLY if it's true! I might not if I have time to realize what's happening, but I have no spinal reflexes to be brave.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
I don't think girls are all that hard to read. I'd share my secrets but then all you girls would get together and revise your codes just to remain enigmatic.
I think a fundamental thing is eye contact. When I like a girl she gets more eye attention than anyone else in the room, and I am certain it's vice versa. Girls are pretty good at not getting caught staring, but when they like you, they just can't help it. With a few creative maneuvers you can quickly figure out if a girl is looking at you more than is common. It's very rare to lock eyes and have a girl give you an encouraging expression to further things along. It's equally likely that if you do stare into each others eyes you might have some bit of food on your face.
If you do happen to catch them looking they usually snap their eyes off into another direction. The trick THEN is to watch what direction their face is pointing. If their face is pointing in one direction but their eyes are continually glancing off center they are deliberately trying to look interested in something else. Think about it, if you are looking at something do you ever NOT point your nose at it and stare straight ahead? Try it, just look at something off to the side without moving your head and hold it, it doesn't feel very natural.
The only time folks look in a direction without moving their head is when they are trying to look like they are minding their own business. Cheaters during classroom exams do this all the time.
Quick Note: If a girl has just avoided your gaze often the head goes with the eyes. You need to wait about 20 second for the head to slowly reposition so that it takes the minimal amount of effort to shift the eyes towards you and away.
In my entire life I think I've only had one girl out and out tell me she wasn't interested and that she just wanted to remain friends. I think this is a function of me not throwing myself at alot of girls, and not responding too strongly to small flirtatious acts when they happen.
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
Wife: Were you looking at that woman? Me: Want the honest answer or the proper one? Wife: Proper one. Me: I have no reason to look at anyone else, dear. Wife: Nice. And the honest one? Me: Of course I looked. I'm married. I'm not dead.
I don't remember anything after that.
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
Conversation #1:
Wife: She's really pretty. Me: Yeah.
End of conversation.
#2:
Me: She's sort of pretty. Wife: Do you wish I looked more like her? Me (to myself): what did I do to deserve this? (to wife): No, of course not. I love the way you look. Wife: Hmph.
Wife then doesn't have much to say to me for a while.
Posted by Launchywiggin (Member # 9116) on :
I'm with Blackblade--I don't have trouble picking up basic signals any more.
But it didn't come naturally--I had to do research in college--practicing on platonic female friends and reading some of the literature out there. What I learned helped me immensely in having more relaxed, fun conversation with girls. It's more important to not be "in your head", constantly analyzing every little thing she's doing--but in the moment instead.
Posted by Starsnuffer (Member # 8116) on :
1. I love the fact that that post rhymed, if inadvertently. 2. I feel like I'm pretty dang good at picking up on signals and blackblade explains it better than I could. Note this is not to say I'm some sort of casanova getting all the dates, I'm quite shy, however observative.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
yep rivka! Not all the way though . I was an adventerous/rebellious teen ^_^
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I have no idea what that means . . .
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
I HAVE TO WASH MY HAIR
Posted by T:man (Member # 11614) on :
Me: Heh, she's hot D: Yeah definetly Ms.C: You think so? D: Of course I think so! Me: Heh heh heh Ms.C: stop laughing... Me: no Mr.Q: What are you guys talking about? Me: How hot D is
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? ^^;;
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