All right, I feel the need to vent and then I have a question. Everywhere I go, it seems it is NOT ok to talk politics. Or if we are allowed to talk politics, it's only if we discuss it in certain ways, eliminating "personal stuff" and focusing only on issues -- as if we should just take a candidate's word for whether or not they will even follow through on their stated goals and issues.
It only seems to be ok to talk politics if you agree. I was at my book club last month and when it came out we were all in favor of Obama (a small miracle in Kansas), we decided it was all right to start agreeing with one another in circles. I'd LOVE to have a serious and honest conversation with a real McCain supporter -- one who isn't voting for him because he thinks Obama is a terrorist. (Why do I know so many of those people?)
But the think that has really bugged me lately is this: I can't talk politics with my girlfriends (unless I agree with them, of course) but my HUSBAND talks politics all the time at work. They disagree and somehow manage not to turn it into something to do with the essence of their soul and humanity.
Is it ok for men to talk politics and not women? Or am I just being exposed to a very lame subset of the female population? (They won't play poker with me, either. )
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Most women I know strongly dislike talking politics, and get more upset about political disagreement than the men do. I don't know why.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
It's a female thing. I'm sorry. I hate that, too.
That's why there is the Internet.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
I certainly get upset talking politics. But that's because I don't see it as sport. I think men do.
I see how politics will affect me and those I care about. That can be very rage inspiring.
Posted by Lisa (Member # 8384) on :
Politics and religion and sex are all potentially incendiary topics. Discussion of such topics can get really emotional. Combine any two of them, or all of them, and it's even worse.
A lot of people prefer not to get into that kind of argument.
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
I visited an old friend this weekend and stayed with her mother. She actually has a rule in her house that no one is allowed to talk about politics. (Or veganism, but that's a different story.) The biggest problem with this is that they keep all of the televisions in the house tuned to CNN 24/7. (Literally; they keep them on while they are asleep.) It was so difficult not to comment on what was being aired throughout the house for my whole stay. I even got "in trouble" for making a non-partisan comment about journalistic integrity. It was a very strange environment.
Posted by Jhai (Member # 5633) on :
I'm a female, and talk politics at work... but all of my coworkers are guys. I'd talk politics with women, but I don't actually hang out with many members of my gender.
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
I don't have a lot of data points since people tend to avoid politics at work. The occasional conversation I do overhear is between men who mostly agree with each other.
My two main female-politics data points are my wife and my mother.
My mother does get upset when the family discusses politics, but I have interpreted this as feeling my father and my most vocal brother are both smug and dense about their support of the Republican party. She thinks they just parrot what they hear on conservative talk radio, and don't think for themselves. (She might be right, I don't know.)
I'm not sure why this upsets her so much. Part of it might be resentment of some of the patriarchal aspects of her family's culture which dictated much of the first forty years of her life, and so when men make pronouncements about the Truth she doesn't like it. Since voting "red" and the traditions she has come to resent seem to go hand in hand much of the time...it might partly explain why those discussions upset her.
My wife's most important single issue is abortion. She is against it and that pretty much rules out support for any politician that disagrees. She does not have any respect for "pro-choice" arguments and gives them no credence. However, aside from the issue of abortion she seems able to talk about politics without getting upset.
I don't get upset but I do find it tiresome most of the time. This is at least partly due to my ignorance - I don't know enough to get into a meaningful discussion. However, most people I talk to in real life don't have much information either, they tend to have a pretty superficial understanding of most issues.
Posted by Paul Goldner (Member # 1910) on :
The two most politically active people in my life are women...
Well, ok, one is active. One was active. But she's 90 now... its ok that she's not knocking on doors anymore.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
I think a lot of it depends. I know that this far into the political process, with voting 1 day away, I am tired of hearing about it. I know who I want to vote for, and regardless of what some supporters of the opposition say it is not because I am stupid, have been mislead, or because I haven't "understood" their message.
I have a lot of respect for people who believe McCain is a good man. I am sure he is....but that doesn't mean I want him to be President. I have a lot of respect for people who honestly think he is the better Presidential candidate, as long as they got to that belief by actual reasoning and shared beliefs, not just because they fell for the hate mongering and fear mongering that has been spouted throughout this political season.
But every time I have tried to have a RL political conversation with a McCain supporter (at least ones that aren't already my friends) I ended up being accused of being non_American, and accused of "selling out to socialism".
I have friends who support McCain, and we have good conversations, but random political conversations are almost always a bad idea IRL.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jhai: I'm a female, and talk politics at work... but all of my coworkers are guys. I'd talk politics with women, but I don't actually hang out with many members of my gender.
That's a good point. I'm in a similar situation -- the only people I talk politics with are guys -- and I work in a department of mostly guys, where it seems to be okay to talk about it and "agree to disagree" on points.
I don't know that I've ever tried discussing politics with another woman (other than my mom, who pretty much agrees with me on everything)
Posted by Christine (Member # 8594) on :
So I post that and then this morning a friend (female) came over for a play date and we talked politics! Not only that, but she is leaning McCain. Well, I hope I talked her out of it, but it was a pleasant conversation. She wasn't stupid or believing lies. She had some legit concerns. We discussed them. We're still friends.
I feel better now. Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
We have this problem in my girlfriend's house. Two of her housemates are Republicans, one is a Democrat. We're both Democrats. We three Dems in the house love to talk politics and discuss the election and would be more than happy to debate the issues with the two Republicans. The two Republicans don't wanna talk about it. They won't tell us where they stand on any of the issues or what they think about them. They just make faces when we start talking about it amongst ourselves with in their earshot or when we have the news on. It's really frustrating cause we can't even figure out where we agree or disagree.
They make it extremely awkward by just being annoyed at our joy in Obama (whom they do not like) and our dislike of Palin (whom they love) and they won't even discuss it with us. And their excuse for not talking about it? "We just don't like to talk about it, we don't feel like we know enough." Well how on Earth are you going to learn about it unless you talk about it? (Or read about it, which they don't do, or watch TV about it, which they don't do.)
I'm at a supposedly high class liberal arts college and the stubbornly ignorant vote still exists and goes solidly Republican. *sigh*
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
quote:Originally posted by Christine: So I post that and then this morning a friend (female) came over for a play date and we talked politics! Not only that, but she is leaning McCain. Well, I hope I talked her out of it, but it was a pleasant conversation. She wasn't stupid or believing lies. She had some legit concerns. We discussed them. We're still friends.
quote:Originally posted by Christine: So I post that and then this morning a friend (female) came over for a play date and we talked politics! Not only that, but she is leaning McCain. Well, I hope I talked her out of it, but it was a pleasant conversation. She wasn't stupid or believing lies. She had some legit concerns. We discussed them. We're still friends.
LOL!! That's hilarious. Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
Politics is for the internet.
there's nothing else left to discuss. Obama's gonna win, at this point you either are hopefully optimistic about his presidency, giddy with rabid fanboyism, or you think he is TERRORIST TERRIBLE MUSLIM SOCIALIST STATIST TOTALITARIAN TERRIBLE STALINIST HUSSEIN OBAMA WHO IS GOING TO BE TERRIBLE, or you are honestly apathetic/jaded about politics to a ridiculous degree. What else is there to discuss at the dinner table, really?
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She wasn't stupid or believing lies. She had some legit concerns. We discussed them. We're still friends.