This is topic New Song - Any Thoughts? in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
 
Some of the comments on the last piece I posted a bit back were quite helpful.

So thanks! Here's a more recent piece I made; am curious what ya'll think:

It's Game On
 
Posted by Armoth (Member # 4752) on :
 
[Frown]

Sorry. Not such a huge fan. Maybe I'm traditional but I like it when a song has a discernible melody, maybe a verse and a chorus?

I also prefer singing to talking or sing-talking...

And auto-tune is a useful tool to clean up a soloist, it shouldn't be that you hear more auto than tune...
 
Posted by lem (Member # 6914) on :
 
I think it is really cool that you are learning the technology to make this and wish you luck in expanding your skill. I do like sing talking, but overall I thought this was very unpleasant to my ears. I couldn't finish it, but I did skip to the end and hear that part. And one of the pics was nice...I like Chinese characters. [Razz]

Maybe I am more of a melody fan then I thought.

I don't intend my honesty to be discouraging or mean. I just think you haven't hit your grove yet.
 
Posted by Orincoro (Member # 8854) on :
 
Honestly, it's really not good. It's uncomfortable and embarrassing to listen to. Particularly the vocal processing is... creepy? It's also virtually the same arrangement as the last song you posted, but marginally worse.

Here's what I would suggest, if you want to produce music like this (which I don't submit is such a good idea overall): produce a track without any lyrics or vocal parts at all. Understand the form of the thing you are trying to create- you are not trying to create musical accompaniment to rap stylings (or whatever this is), you are trying to write a song. So create 4 stems, one with percussion, one with bass, one with synthesizer, and one with guitar or some other instrument. Create a structure of chorus, verse, chorus verse, bridge, chorus. Do that about 10 times, until you get something that really works. Then *think* about singing to it. Think about it.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
I liked it, its about one step shy as perfect for being the theme song or part of the OST of a good horror anime.

I've also been listening to alot of vocaloid recently so this is pretty close.

If it were in a foreign language would be the only way to me to make it better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JGaQ3g8WU4

example.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
Is all the others song in the right list there also yours?
 
Posted by MattP (Member # 10495) on :
 
It sounds to me like a white guy trying to rap - the stereotypical SNL skit white guy using comical choices of phrasing with sort of a jilted/stuttering cadence which suggests that he's making up the words as he's going along, trying really hard to rhyme and making everything else aesthetic secondary.

Like lem, I think it's cool that you're pursuing your interests in this and it doesn't really matter what we think of it if you're having a good time, but I don't see that you've done anything different with this piece compared to your last one. Whatever advice you attempted to take to heart, it's not clear how it influenced you.
 
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
It'ld work great as an anime OST song.

Another epic example:

Like honestly what does 'Microphone phenotype' mean?
 
Posted by ambyr (Member # 7616) on :
 
The beat doesn't appear to have any connection to the singing, at least to my ears. It sounds like it's wandered in from some other track.
 


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