First, the good news. I am now a proud papa of my second son!
Related throwback tidbit. Awhile ago I asked for some clarity on my wife getting pregnant while her sister just had a miscarriage. Well, that worked out too because I am going to have my first nephew in a few short weeks too!
The real issue: My almost three year old son.He taken a wonderful liking to his new brother; I couldn't asked for anything more from his response. He has acted a bit different towards my wife and I, obviously because of the change in family dynamics and attention towards him. We try to give him some special time, and focus on him individually and in front of his brother, but obviously even if we wanted to, things can't be exactly the same as how they were. We think the following is some kind of mental reactive outlet.
He has begun to see imaginary dinosaurs and giants. Sample phrase, "The dinosaurs are coming, we have to hide!" Or, "The giant is here, save me!" And then he proceeds to run and hide under pillows.
Now, from my brief internet research, imaginary friends are usually good things. Important developmentally, fosters creativity, and other general smart things. But these don't really seem to be friends. He isn't panicky or shaking or really seem to be genuinely in fear for his life, he just says these things and jumps on the couch and hides.
My gut feeling is that this is one way he is 'working out' some of these issues. When should I be concerned enough to reach out to his pediatrician or some other medical professional, or should I just monitor for now?
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
At three, dramatic pretend play is perfectly normal.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Sounds pretty normal at this point
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I agree, sounds absolutely normal.
And congrats!
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
most pediatricians say this stuff is pretty common, and all you have to do is ask the child to recite the names of the creatures in question. if phantasmal runes begin to burn or otherwise etch themselves into the walls as he/she does this, check the runes to make sure that they aren't black speech or malebolge and also aren't poisonous blood (in case they lick it or something). norse runes are fine, as are euboean and ogham. if tiwaz, check with your family doctor just to be sure but apparently that's usually totally fine.
Posted by theamazeeaz (Member # 6970) on :
Sounds normal.
Was expecting a brontosaurus thread.
Posted by Jake (Member # 206) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samprimary: most pediatricians say this stuff is pretty common, and all you have to do is ask the child to recite the names of the creatures in question. if phantasmal runes begin to burn or otherwise etch themselves into the walls as he/she does this, check the runes to make sure that they aren't black speech or malebolge and also aren't poisonous blood (in case they lick it or something). norse runes are fine, as are euboean and ogham. if tiwaz, check with your family doctor just to be sure but apparently that's usually totally fine.
And if the very syllables seem to flay his throat and vocal chords, it's Enochian. And you're in trouble.
Posted by Rakeesh (Member # 2001) on :
Obviously, because he's got a part in the school play and how will he sing his lines?!
Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
Echoing everyone else, it's normal.
I wouldn't even assume it has anything to do with the new baby. He's at the right age for that type of play, so as long as he seems to be having fun rather than being actually scared of something, I'd play along.
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
Sounds like a ploy to get attention, but the normal kind. Wouldn't worry in your shoes.
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Posted by Aris Katsaris (Member # 4596) on :
quote:He has begun to see imaginary dinosaurs and giants.
Uh, no. You're describing him *pretending* to see imaginary dinosaurs and giants, as you indicate:
quote:He isn't panicky or shaking or really seem to be genuinely in fear for his life, he just says these things and jumps on the couch and hides.
Isn't that what is normally called "playing"?
Posted by RivalOfTheRose (Member # 11535) on :
Thanks for the thoughts guys.
Probably call for attention. He takes it pretty serious.... not sure how much fun he is actually having. Doesn't seem worrisome anymore though.
Posted by Hank (Member # 8916) on :
I'm a nanny. While pretend play is totally normal, the fact that this you are flagging this could indicate that it's worth digging deeper. After all, you know what's normal for your kid, and if this has your antenna up, then that says it's out of character.
I highly reccommend the boom Playful Parenting. It's about how play is used by kids to proccess emotions and experiences and how we as adults can facilitate that and use play as a tool to guide them through tough times. Sometimes kids get stuck in a storyline that they can't seem to move past. That is an indication that they are stuck in their emotional life as well and are having trouble proccessing something.
Basically, you need to figure out what it is he is trying to proccess with this play, and step into his story with him to guide him out of this tough spot.
E.g., it could be that he's feeling afraid of something in real life and he is using this as a way to practice dealing with fear. If that's the case, you figure out what strategies you want him to use to manage fear IRL and build them into the story, then "play" that version of it with him for a while to see if it helps him move on. So let's say you want him to take a few deep breaths and find a trusted adult to manage fear IRL. Maybe you say, "Thise pesky giants! We can deal with them! You need he King of the Mountain! Encourage him to come to you and then together you "blow" the giants away with your "Mountain Breath." If he embraces and builds on your ideas, that tells you you are on the right track; if he resists then you may be misinterpreting.