He believes in perfect equality--everyone is food regardless of race, creed, color, or lineage. Dwarf, elf, Beornling, goblin, they all taste good fried.
He believes in high tax rates--100% plus the horse (or Elk) you road in on.
He is anti-gun, well, anti-bow and arrow especially black arrows.
While he is tough on crime, he doesn't believe in long prison sentences. He would rather eat you now.
He is against the Military/Industrial Complex and believes that a small army is better than a large army, unless you are really hungry.
He legalized smoking pipe-weed, and smoking anything else he breathes on.
He believes that lethal injection is a cruel and unusual punishment, not to mention a tainting of tasty man-flesh.
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Smaug is a conservative.
He is very strong on crime, calling for capital punishment even for petty theft.
He is intolerant of any immigrants, legal or illegal, into his country.
He will build that wall!!!! of fire.
He demands a simplified tax system--everyone gives him everything. Can't get much simpler than that.
He is pro hunting--except dragon hunting.
He believes that Global Warming is not man-made. Its Dragon made.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
:chuckles darkly:
Posted by PanaceaSanans (Member # 13395) on :
This is awesome. And even a little helpful for me as a foreigner who is not too intimately familiar with American politics.
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
Cute. Posted by Jake (Member # 206) on :
It's nice to see you Darth_Muaving up the place.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Smaug promises a barbecue in every home!
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Smaug has gone and burninated the bacon again. Smaug just doesn't care. Smaug likes burnt bacon.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Smaug is going to sit where Smaug is going to sit, and you darn well know that's his horde. Get your own trinkets and gewgaws.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Smaug still does his own stunts, unlike Chuck Norris.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Smaug auditioned for Game of Thrones. Smaug hates CGI. Smaug is not fond of HBO either. Smaug totally gets George RR Martin, though.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Chuck Norris no longer does his own stunts after encountering the magnificence of Smaug.
Chuck Norris no longer does anything, actually. What you've been seeing is a clever Hollywood double.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Smaug gets along well with Trogdor.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Smaug thinks "the Great Worm" would make a great name for a band.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Smaug thinks the part should have gone to an actual wyrm, not some silly human in a stupid suit.
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Smaug hates "The Hobbit" and "Peter Jackson", but hasn't destroyed the movie because like everyone else, he loves "Benedict Cumberpatch."
Posted by Elcheeko75 (Member # 13292) on :
Smaug most certainly did not feel the Bern.
Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Smaug is made up of fluorocarbons. And fog.
Posted by Jacare_Sorridente (Member # 13443) on :
Despite several glaring character flaws the GOP is pretty sure Smaug is more electable than Trump and his simple economic plan has Hillary trying to come up with something which soundbites as nicely.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
Smaug does not like ketchup. Or catsup.
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Smaug insures that all ballots are absentee ballots.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)