Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Critiqued Blues

This is topic Critiqued Blues in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Kokomo (Member # 1210) on :

Okay, instead of throwing my pity party inside my head, I'm doing it here in hopes someone will have wise words that will help me get over it faster.

I'm so frustrated! I just got done revising something and sent it out to several Wise Readers. I was so proud of it, because I thought it was getting pretty good. They found out the big things wrong with it and rightfully told me so. But I'm all sad now and I'm looking at my work and wondering if I'll ever write something "good enough".

I seem to have this problem of writing beautiful scenery and descriptions, basically hooking a reader by the senses, but then not having any sort of interesting plot to go with it. And when it comes time to work at the plot, I have so much trouble, even when I 'else' it.

Bleah. I know, I need to just get back on it and not give up.

Posted by Penboy_np (Member # 1615) on :

If you're finding yourself good at writing descriptions but not so good at the plot, try writing about something interesting that happened to you that day. Sometimes what I like to do is make a character (often myself) and put him through his daily routine and just sort of... see what happens. After you develop the character in your mind, throw some sort of conflist at him and see how he handles it. It might be an interesting way to try and see how you can write conflict into a plot.

I know it might not be a very good novel length exercise, but if it's really giving you trouble you might want to try a few shorter ones like that.

Posted by srhowen (Member # 462) on :

Sometimes a writer can get so carried away with the "rosy prose" that the story just slinks away.

Each chapter needs a set up--no not a fantastic description of scene. A reason the reader should care about what happens. Don't spend too much time on this part.

Then you need an event that raises the stakes. Say you start out wiht a character coming home form work--perfect day, perfect everything. He arrives home and his wife has left him.

That's surprise one.

Then hit the reader with a second quick surprise that comes out of the blue. You have happy character, everything perfect. Wife leaves. The reader is feeling sorry for him. Wham. Your character flies into a rage, smashing everything in site and vowing to kill the bitch.

SO far you have very little description. But now the reader is on the edge of their seat wanting to turn the page to see what happens.

Raise the stakes again--go to scene two.

Use the same formula.

Set up (what does the character want or expect)
obstacle (take away the characters goal or expectation)
raise the stakes (Suprise and raise the stakes)

Make each chapter have 2 or 3 scenes--short ones

And end the chapter with a cliff hanger.

THEN--go back and fill in the description.

Shawn

Posted by Kokomo (Member # 1210) on :

You make it sound so easy. My trouble is that the "rosy prose" is truly how I think. I have these pictures in my head, but the stories aren't there. Perhaps I'm a poet instead of a writer.

Still, I'll try what you suggest. I just hope it's not too late to save this story I've put so much into already. (still sulking, you see)

Don't worry, I'll get less funky soon. Thanks for giving me a nudge in the right direction!

Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :

Kokomo, I went through the same thing recently after three different critiquers said my main character wasn't sympathetic enough in his first couple chapters--which really bugged me since I had strived not to make him too goody-goody. Maybe I overdid it. Maybe I have to give him a stronger reason to pick on the professor.

Anyroad, I e-mailed my brother and told him I was down in the dumps and to give me a good word. He did. For your blues benefit, let me share his answer with you:

"So, you are 'Down in the Dumps.' Welcome. For your moping pleasure we will issue you your own pass code and Membership Card. Now, when you come here, you will earn points for valuable prizes.

"For instance, after 3 trips you get a used clip board and instructions on how to walk real fast and look concerned.

"Ten trips to the 'Dumps' and you can get a month's supply of those red, wax lips with directions on how to turn them over so you look mad all of the time. However, you have to promise to chew them when you're done and swallow them. Constipation is a Dumps Bonus.

"The big stuff comes after 20 trips. At that point you're eligible for the Dumps hit CD, 'Yani Plays the Baghdad Top Ten.' That dude can really wail.

"Drive safely, and remember our motto, 'When you're Down In The Dumps remember Heidi Klum still needs deodorant, and we have the empties to prove it.'

Your friends at,

The Dumps

BTW. Your pass code is *#@!%*#!* or, just blow your horn and yell, 'Open the gate stupid!'"

Anyway, it worked for me.

P.S. Of course I didn't give you MY pass code.

[This message has been edited by Kolona (edited April 06, 2003).]