I am confonded by how to deal with dialoge and thinking.
Let's say we have this sentence. She sank her head into the pillow. Everyone hates me, she thought.
When would I put thoughts into quotations?
Posted by SiliGurl (Member # 922) on :
Nope, never ever. I've heard that you should do it one of several ways:
Her head sank into the pillow and as her eyes roamed across the ceiling tiles, she wondered if she would ever fall asleep.
OR
Her head sank into the pillow. <I>Damn, I'm exhausted</I>, she thought.
OR
Her head sank into the pillow. Damn, I'm pooped, she thought.
At one point, I heard that thoughts should always be italicized, but then somewhere else it was never italicized.
Hope that helps...
** NOT sure why that didn't italicize, but that's what I was driving at with the <I>
[This message has been edited by SiliGurl (edited April 30, 2003).]
Posted by Penboy_np (Member # 1615) on :
I personally use the italics mode myself, but the problem is that after an extended peroid of thinking, it gets tiresome on the eyes.
Look at Mr. Card's Enchantment for long, effective sections of thought without using italics. There's tons of good examples in there.
Posted by kwsni (Member # 970) on :
I don't understand how this question is any different than the last one you asked about thinking.
I still don't like italics, but I won't get into an argument about it, either. If you want to use them, fine. But I reccomend against constantly using (s)he thought tags, too.
I am usually so deep into the mind of my characters that the (s)he thought tags get in the way. Which makes the story longer, but it makes me feel like the reader will know my character better.
edit: Quotes are for when a character is speaking only. It only gets tricky when you have dialouge within a flashback.
silli, you need to use these:[] instead of these:<>.
Ni!
[This message has been edited by kwsni (edited April 30, 2003).]
Posted by srhowen (Member # 462) on :
If you use your POV correctly then the he thought she thought is not needed and does get in the way. Same with italics--I don't use them or the pronoun thought tags. Yuck.
But that is just IMHO
SHawn
Posted by Narvi (Member # 1376) on :
Here are some ways I'd do it, your writing style may vary:
Deep penetration:
quote:Her head hit the pillow. Now everyone hated her.
In deep penetration, you don't need any form of tagging, and including it would be a sign to the reader that you're switching perspectives.
Shallow penetration:
quote:She dropped her head to the pillow, thinking about how everyone hated her.
A short statement like "Everyone hated her" tends to stand out rather a lot, so combining it into the previous sentence makes it more reasonable. If this is too de-emphasized, switch the focus.
quote:Her head fell to the pillow as she worried about everyone hating her.
If the thought is so important that it deserves it's own sentence, it pretty much deserves deep penetration (at least briefly) and a little set up.
quote:She felt her head hit the pillow through the painfull haze of her thoughts. Everything stemmed from one fundamental problem.
Everyone hated her.
She knew that now; there wasn't any more doubt...
Note that I haven't used italics. They're more for an interruption. For example
quote:She only had five hours to sleep tonight. She dropped her head to the pillow. Everyone hated her. She pulled a blanket from the floor and wrapped it around her, then reshuffled so as not to crush her arm. Everyone hated her....
The more common reason for thought to be disruptive is during dialog, in which it's the interruption of deep penetration into a shallowly penetrative scene.
quote: "So how did school go?" her mother asked, moving into the living room. "OK, nothing exciting," she replied. "Making friends?" "Well," Everyone hates me, "yeah, a few; it's still awkward."
Notice that the scene apart from the "Everyone hates me shows no penetration at all and barely any sign of perspective.
Hope this helps!
Posted by Balthasar (Member # 5399) on :
Narvi brings up a good point -- how you indicate what a character is thinking correlates with what point of view you're using. Narvi touched only on the very basics. For a really fine and thorough presentation of the subject, read OCS's Characters and Viewpoints. That book should answer your questions.
[This message has been edited by Balthasar (edited May 01, 2003).]
Posted by Phanto (Member # 1619) on :
Ah, sorry then. I didn't ask the right question.
The new question: How do you deal with a character talking to herself?
Posted by Rahl22 (Member # 1411) on :
Seems to me that you'd just put it in quotes, like any other dialogue. Only this time -- there's no one else there.
Posted by srhowen (Member # 462) on :
outloud--in quotes like regular speech. In the character's head---any of the above ways to handle thoughts.
Shawn
Posted by Doc Brown (Member # 1118) on :
A character talking to himself/herself definitely needs quotation marks. This is especially true in fantasy and sci-fi, when the character might be talking to a clone, living reflection, molecular duplicate, quasi-spiritual counterpart, or imposter from the land of dark magic.
[This message has been edited by Doc Brown (edited May 02, 2003).]
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Just so long as--like srhowen says--the talking is out loud.
Posted by Phanto (Member # 1619) on :
Doc. Brown, I couldn't help breaking into a grin upon reading what you said, as it relates heavily to my own problem.
Survivor, but what if the conversation is in the character's head?
Posted by kwsni (Member # 970) on :
Then you treat it like thoughts. What else is thinking, but talking to ourselves?
