Moral of the Story: Money for nothin', and advice for free
Posted by Lorien (Member # 2037) on :
Here's an interesting character along these lines:
Went to the recycling plant the other day to cash in on cans and bottles and it appears they are only specializing in beer bottles now. The stereotypical man with the pot belly, wearing a stained white undershirt and jeans with red suspenders, looks us over and says:
"For 5 bucks I'll tell you where to go."
And he meant it! Someone should write his story.
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Inspiration! I could think of a few story ideas from that.
Posted by goatboy (Member # 2062) on :
I believe it was either in The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings where Tolkien wrote "Even good advice can be wrong."
My favorite is one of those stupid little signs that you find on junk racks everywhere that read:
The Doctor is IN. Advice-Free Good Advice- $5
Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
This somehow reminds me of "For a hundred bucks I'll tell you you are a genius."
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
Old saloon sign: Bath -- One Dollar Bath with clean water -- Five Dollars
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Man takes his pet bird to the vet. The vet examines the bird tells the man, "I'm sorry, your bird is dead."
"But doctor, isn't there anything you can do?"
The vet leaves and comes back a moment later with a cat. The cat walks around the bird, sniffs at it then walks away.
Again the vet leaves and returns with a labrador retriever. The dog sniffs the bird, nudges it with his nose, then shakes his head and leaves the room.
"That confirms it," says the vet, "The bird is dead."
Finally the man decides to leave. "How much do I owe you, doc?"
"Well, that'll be $450."
"$450?! All you did was tell me my bird's dead! How can you charge $450?"
"Well, if you'd taken my word for it, it would have been free, but it's $150 for the lab fees and $300 for the Cat-scan."
------ edited to replace golden retriever with labrador retriever.
[This message has been edited by Robyn_Hood (edited July 28, 2004).]
Posted by shadowynd (Member # 2077) on :
Heh.. In the version I've seen, the dog is a Labrador Retriever, and the $150 is for "lab fees".
Susan
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
It's been a while since I heard the joke so I couldn't remember what the dog was for Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
Okay, there is a flood in a bank's basement. The bank manager calls every plumber in town but none of them can do anything, but one of them suggests an old retired plumber. The manager gets a hold of him and he agrees to come over. Once there he spends 30 seconds in the basment, turns one screw and comes up. "Okay a thousand dollars," the old plumber says and holds out his hand. "How could that cost that much? You only turned one screw," The bank manager says. "One dollar to turn the screw, and 999 to know which screw to turn."
