So, how do you balance the passions (good and bad) in your life with the goals of your writing? When you need to, do you just dump it all in, then go back with the biggest pair of scissors you have? Do you find that the surge of emotion, helps? Hinders?
I'm tired, upset, and incredible angry. I cannot express it in my personal life or I'll scare the ones I love. I'd like to put this energy to good use before I start destroying everything I have worked for over the years. Maybe I can vent in my writing, but I don't want to waste my time, either.
I need some ideas. What has worked for you? In your writing, that is.
A few years ago I got involved with a small roll playing group. I was nervous about this because when I was growing up I was always told how bad they were (I'm sure everyone has heard their share of Dungeons and Dragons urban legends). I actually found it a bit freeing. I created a couple of different characters who showcased two very different sides of my personality. Using them in the games, it was me but it was also like it was one step removed.
Now to connect this to the topic! I've since realized that I was already doing this in my writing. I conciously included characters based on myself and people around me and had them play out the scenes I made up. I don't like to journal or keep a diary. I think my biggest fear is that someone will find it, read it, and draw all the wrong conclusions. By creating a character to play things out in my creative writing, it feels more like I'm writing in code. Yes it is me. Yes I'm working through my inner emotions. Yes it is right there for anyone to read. But there is a certain amount of plausible deniability. If anyone asks, it's just a charater in a story.
I try not to worry about putting people off. I just bring out the "biggest pair of scissors" I have and edit around things that come across too strong.
IMO, if you are filled with passion, use it in your writing. It will never be a waste, even if you don't keep it later.
Have one character that's tired and jaded with life. Have another character who is upset (why?). And have another one yet who is irascible.
As far as how to balance, my own practice is that of Stephen King's. First, I write with the door closed. Then I rewrite with the door open. In other words, the first draft of anything is my draft--its my way of figuring out what the story is and what I want to say. With my second draft, I'm very conscious of the reader, and try to put myself in his/her shoes. What do I want them to feel? What do I want them to think? Stuff like that. So yes, as you said, I just dump it all in then go back with a big scissors.
In the first essay, "the joy of writing", he talks about gusto in writing, "...animal vigor and intellectual vitality. Their hatreds and despairs were reported with a kind of love." The second essay, "Run Fast, Stand Still..." he says "In quickness is truth." The first lines of one of his poems, "What I Do Is Me..."
"What I do is me...For that I came.
What I do is me!
For that I came into the world!"
And from the Bible, "All things are turned to good purpose for those who love the Lord."
I believe that any person's most passionate experiences are the ones that have the most value, to change, create, destroy. For a writer (and I do think writers are born even if many of us never learn the craft) choosing not to use the passionate moments out of fear of - anything - rejection, misunderstanding, exposure, shame - anything- misses the mark of potential, the exquisite uniqueness of that experience combined with the readiness of that individual to express it. Even if it always stays behind closed doors, expressing it in written form is a useful development of craft. Passionate writing, honest writing, speaks to more people than carefully circumscribed writing that presents only a mask of 'should' which serves to condemn the reader who has experienced the reality, yet can't express it.
<g>
This is a lot of opinion, isn't it. <climbing off the soap box>
Hope it helps.
It sounds like you need to find a dark plot and/or character to utilize. As Robyn Hood suggested it would act like a role-playing game, or therapy to allow an outlet for these feelings without exposing loved ones to them. I think all of us use our writing as a wailing wall from time to time.
[This message has been edited by Scapegoat (edited August 28, 2004).]
Well, what's the problem with that if you ARE angry, bitter, and offputting? I don't mean that as insulting as it sounds. I'm just trying to say, if you are angry, why don't you want to come across as angry? Write what you want, put yourself into it as much as you can, or as much as you feel comfortable doing, and worry about what people will think about you later.
And find comfort in the fact that the judgements people make about a writer based on his work are rarely right.
So when they are, I either write in a journal or write a story ABOUT the emotion that's keeping me from writing the good stuff.
One thing I learned, though, is that the stories I write ABOUT my emotions really suck. I can't get past the emotions far enough to write coherently. So I write them and file them away under "Therapy". Then I move on.
I wrote a story I was pretty proud of, but it involved a villainous character that did some pretty horrid things and was finally contemplating suicide.
When a friend asked to read some of my work, I showed them that story. After reading it, they started grilling me on why I wrote it. Was I contemplating suicide?
I explained that I was not contemplating suicide, it was just the natural outcome of the story, and based on the situations I had put the characters into. My friend didn't believe me. It was pretty frustrating. Non-writers sometimes have a hard time separating the writer’s views from the character’s views.
I created that villain by looking at what I would do and having him do the opposite, but in a way, he still reflected me, and my personal beliefs.
Everything we write has to come through the filter of ourselves.
Vent into your writing. It is healthy to do so. You might not want anyone to read the results, but then again, there are plenty of people in the world that feel the same way you do right now. They will identify with what you write about.
I would suggest not letting your close friends and family read it though. They might try to draw conclusions from it, similar to the way my friend did.