[This message has been edited by Clove (edited December 18, 2009).]
One writing book I read, (Immediate Fiction: A Complete Writing Course by Jerry Cleaver) addresses this exact situation. In fact I highly recommend you read it for more information, but I'll go over a couple of his main points.
On the subject of emotions he says: "It's like having a trusted friend who helps you with everything, whom you *must* depend on to get anything done, but who every so often without warning and for no reason decides to clobber you."
What separates successful writers from ones who never make it has nothing to do with an author's perception of him or herself. The successful writer is the one who finds a way past it and emerges into the light at the end of the tunnel.
Fact: this isn't the only time in your life you'll feel this way. It's part of the creative process. So what do you do about it?
Recognize the fact that your emotions are irrational, and that they are perfectly normal.
Then give yourself permission to write one or two sentences of what you're working on, and stop. Don't worry about the quality. Let those sentences kind of drift into your subconscious while you do something else. Then do that again. If you can get five minutes in, that's great, and you're already working past the block.
Work on turning off the internal editor. When you get depressed it is a sign that the editor is on overdrive and needs to be sedated . Just focus on producing anything no matter how terrible.
And lastly, if you can't even do that, make a promise to yourself to never give up writing entirely, because you're depressed. Make the proviso that you can quit anytime you are in a good mood, but never when you aren't. Then, next time you're in a good mood, try writing and it probably won't be as bad as you think.
I just reminded myself that Martin is Martin, and I am me. Really, it sounds stupid, but it helped.
Let other writers write their OWN books. Write yours.
Don't give up. The stories you have in your head need to be told, and if you don't, who will? And if they do, would you be happy with how they are told?
When I read the latest draft of my WIP, and find it horrible, I try to remind myself that what I'm reading is an early draft of a relatively new writer's first novel. You have to remember that even the worst novels in the book stores are finished, final, polished drafts of a story written by someone who likely has several novels worth of experience. (Even when they call something someone's "first novel" they really mean "first published novel," which could very likely be the fourth or fifth novel that the person actually wrote.
It's too bad some good famous writer doesn't release the first draft of his first ever novel so that new writers can read it, see how horrible it is, and realize that everyone starts that way. (In one of is writing books OSC has the first draft of the opening page for Ender's Shadow, and he talks about how bad he thought it was, and how he changed it to what it is now).
And don't ever start comparing to a published author. They've got tons more experience, and several editors between the first draft and the final product.
As an aside, OSC said that every writer had two mode: the "I'm writing the best story in the world" and the "This is utter rubbish". He said it was perfectly normal
Many's the time I've read someone's work, and it seemed so good that I couldn't possibly do anything as good. But, then, many's the time I've read something, and it seemed so awfully bad that I couldn't understand how somebody would print *that*, and my stuff can't find a home.
(Some of these awfully bad stories have been critically praised, even won awards. And, even on further look, I couldn't see it...and doubted the worth of the awards.)
I'm not sure if you're editing a completed work or one in progress. If it's a completed work, one writing teacher at Emory told me that if a passage isn't working, look at it from a different angle or through someone else's eyes. If it's written from Joe's point of view, go back and write it through Jane's. Even if you go back to your original point of view, you'll have a much better understanding of what you're trying to get across. That's worked for me a bunch of times.
If it's a work in progress, I can share my own experience. Of course it reads like garbage! I long ago decided that rough first drafts are supposed to be ROUGH. I don't begin to edit until I type The End on the last page of my manuscript, primarily because I don't think we have a good idea of how the first chapters should read until we've written the final chapters. It will change with every word you write. The only thing I do is jot little memory joggers when I notice discrepancies. If I've decided that Brad should have ice blue eyes in chapter 17, I have to go back to chapter 2 where he was introduced and change those liquid brown eyes. I have a bulletin board over my desk where I post the notes to be used when I begin editing.
I draft a loose outline, and then write my entire first draft as quickly as I can. It usually takes editing a second draft before I have a final, but it's worth the extra step to me. And I think it saves a lot of mental anguish.
As a postscript: When I read authors that wow me (Barbara Kingsolver, among others), I feel inadequate…so then I read a really lousy book and KNOW that my work is better.
Keep on writing.
But you have to realize that it takes years to become a good writer. Some people say you need to write 1,000,000 words before you have a chance. Others say 5,000,000. If you write 3,000 words a day you're looking between 1 and 5 years of work. It's daunting as hell, I know.
Most every writer has boxes of unpublished manuscripts. Sure, there are exceptions. But don't let the stories of the old pulp writers who sold their first stories they ever wrote get you down. (Heinlein) There were HUNDREDS of pulp magazines back in the 1940's.
Just keep writing and writing and writing and someday, hopefully, it will click for you (and for me).
For what it's worth, my goal this year is 1,000,000 words of fiction. (Big, yes, but worth striving for.) I'm not worrying about rewriting. I'm not worrying about publishing. I'm just writing to get all the dreck out. I'll re-evaluate where I'm at in 2007.
Until you're resigned to the fact that this is a long process you won't be at peace with yourself as a writer.
Final word.
The single-best article on how to become a writer is John D. MacDonald's "Introduction" to Stephen King's NIGHT SHIFT. Get a copy of it. Paste it on your walls. Read it daily.
[This message has been edited by Karloff (edited January 20, 2006).]
Now, all I can do is click "delete" on my computer screen and that is just not a very satisfying way of destroying the story. No sounds effects and no pile of trash. Even the desktop trash icon on the computer screen is not satisfying. But I must destroy that story to feel the emotion of finality and say goodbye before I can start again.
What's your most satisfying way of destroying that monster of a story you have created?
[This message has been edited by Clove (edited December 18, 2009).]
On my worst days, this question haunts me.
On topic: You're depressed now, but you'll get over it. Trust me.
I wanted to say more, but most of it has already been said (along with some great things I haven't heard before), so I won't repeat them.
At the risk of sounding cliched, "This, too, shall pass."
When a writer begins to improve, that writer goes through a stage in which everything the writer writes looks like garbage. This is simply because there are two sets of skills that are improving, and they don't improve at the same rate.
First there are the writing skills, and second there are the critical skills.
What you all are describing is probably the developmental phase where the critical skills are improving faster than the writing skills. This is the stage that kills off more potential writing careers than any other.
What you have to do to get through this is to keep writing even though you think you are writing garbage. As long as you keep working at it, your writing skills are going to improve, even though they may not improve as fast as your critical skills.
I promise you that if you keep writing and keep improving, there will come a time when your writing skills will catch up and you won't hate your work.
I also promise you that you will go through this developmental phase more than once. You just have to keep at it.
The people who succeed are the ones who don't quit.
quote:
How do you know the difference between a good writer suffering through a bad slump, and a bad writer?
If you've been writing for two years, you don't have enough time put in to make a good determination.
If you've been writing for twenty but write hapazardly, you don't have a solid enough work ethic to make that determination.
John D. MacDonald -- a favorite -- received 1000 rejections before he sold his first story. Have you received 1000 rejections?
Gene Wolfe received rejection letters for 10 years before he sold his first story.
My advice -- get a copy of John D. MacDonald's Introduction to Stephen King's NIGHT SHIFT and memorize it.
A KDW said -- those who succeed are those who don't quit.
[This message has been edited by Karloff (edited January 20, 2006).]
[This message has been edited by Clove (edited December 18, 2009).]
Keep at it!