Hatrack River Writers Workshop: flashback quotes

This is topic flashback quotes in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by debhoag (Member # 5493) on :

anybody remember how to set up quotes within a flashback where the story teller is quoting another person? any advice or a website would be great. Thanks!

Posted by annepin (Member # 5952) on :

It it's within dialogue, it would just be single quotes, no?
So:

Jay settled down and began to relate the story. "I was walking down the street and I bumped into this cat. The cat turns to me and says, 'Hey, do you mind?' Well, let me tell you, I couldn't believe it!" He took a gulp of his soda.

Posted by debhoag (Member # 5493) on :

okay, how about when it is several paragraphs?

could i send you a couple and see how you would do it?

Posted by Igwiz (Member # 6867) on :

It sounds like you're talking about the structure of a frame story, where the story is about or includes examples of somebody telling a story. I have an example that might be helpful (and I'll try to keep it within the 13 lines)..

Below is an example of a frame story that I've been working on...

This is one of the characters telling a group of guys about an episode in his life. The entire conversation is in quotes, because it's dialogue, but then the "inner" dialogue is shown as well in bold... Hope this helps...

________________________

“Then about two weeks later, Mom comes home with some bags of clothes. Not thrift store bags, nice ones. The kind that secretaries take their lunch in so their girl friends know they saved up enough to buy a lipstick there. I was asleep when Mom got home, but I woke up to Tina squealing, ‘Wow, oh wow,’ and came out of our room in time to see her hugging Mom and thanking her over and over again.”

“So Mom picks up a little skirt and says, ‘Here, go try this one on.’ Tina jumps off the couch and goes into the bathroom. Five minutes later she comes out looking like a younger, up to date version of Mom. She’s all ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ and Mom’s telling

Posted by debhoag (Member # 5493) on :

exactly. I was also getting confused about the whole paragraph in quotes is followed by a paragraph with only end quotes thing.

Posted by Igwiz (Member # 6867) on :

In this situation, where it is paragraphs and paragraphs of dialogue, I would just recommend that you start and end the paragraphs with quotes. Since you haven't tagged it, you will have to provide an intro. Something like...

________________________

Bobby looked back at Frankie, an angry glint in his eyes, and then shrugged his shoulders in resignation. “Fine,” he said, looking back and forth between Frankie and Lexha. “But it’s not like I had very far to come.”

Taking the flask from Jimmy, Bobby took another long slug. He took a quick look around the circle, closed his eyes for a second, and then began.

“I don’t know if I’m a trick baby or not. It probably don’t even matter..."

______________________________

Then you just begin and end every paragraph of the "story" with quotes to show the reader that you're still inside the inner story. I would recommend that you take a look at Conrad's Heart of Darkness, which is a frame story, as well as get some pointers from Lewis Turco's "Dialogue," from Writer's Digest.

Posted by debhoag (Member # 5493) on :

thanks, I'll do that.

Posted by InarticulateBabbler (Member # 4849) on :

If you're telling a story in quotes, you don't end-quote from paragraph to paragraph, unless you want to end the dialogue. Is that what you're asking?

Posted by rickfisher (Member # 1214) on :

What Inarticulate Babbler asked. Igwiz's example is exactly right for quotes within quotes (and if you ever have quotes inside of that--which is possible when the whole thing is written using quote marks--you use double quotes again. They alternate), but the paragraphs should NOT end with quotes. Having close quotes at the end of a paragraph, and open ones at the start of the next, indicates that one speaker has finished and another has started. It would make logical sense not to have quotes at the end OR beginning of intermediate paragraphs, but that's not how it's done. EVERY paragraph begins with quotes, but only the final one ends with them.

Another example of this is H.G. Wells's The Time Machine. Almost the entire book is the story told by The Time Traveler, and it's all in quotes.

Now that I've got the mechanics out of my system, however, I have a recommendation--if the quoted passage is very long at all, more than a page or two, forget the quotes. Do the following trick: skip a line, then start the storyteller's story without quotation marks, as in:

quote:
Way back before most of you were born [he said], in the time before the Conglomerate took over, men were still free to. . . .

Then, when the story is finished, skip another line and continue with something in your original POV. It saves all sorts of grief, and is easier to read, too.

Posted by debhoag (Member # 5493) on :

nice, rickfisher. I'm going to try that last suggestion out and see how it looks.

[This message has been edited by debhoag (edited December 20, 2007).]