Talon of the Raptor Clan
Talon of the Silver Hawk - Raymond Fiest.
Edit: On thinking about it--is it too close? I suspect no matter what you title something, somehwere there will be another title that is at least somewhat similar. They both have the word talon in them. I'm not sure whether it's a big issue or not. Opinions?
[This message has been edited by JeanneT (edited April 03, 2008).]
Talon of the Raptor Clan
if he can't do it, no one can
he'll fight for right across the land,
he's Talon of the Raptor Clan!
Jayson Merryfield
[This message has been edited by Wolfe_boy (edited April 03, 2008).]
Sing songy is right.
Too cliche, I agree with that too.
Wolfe boy that song was very clever. I play bass, maybe we could start a group.
Good luck,
Grant
Verse Two ~ Ode to Talon
Talon of the Raptor Clan,
Cut and slashed with sword in hand,
and baddies fell upon the sand,
He's Talon of the Raptor Clan.
As titles go it is a good title, although I tend to veer away from using names in story titles. I always think they are less hooky (after all we don't care about Talon yet) than some enigmatic phrase.
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited April 04, 2008).]
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited April 04, 2008).]
I figured it meant was the enforcer or some position in the clan hierarchy.
)It's not the "of the" that gets me. This is a perfectly good title configuration that has worked for many big and small books and movies. Of the big words in the title -- talon, raptor, and clan -- I hear about talons and clans so much in fantasy....
Now, raptors don't come up as often, assuming you're talking about the dinosaur and not a different type of dragon. But even if you are talking about another type of dragon, I might be tempted to flip to the back -- which is your entire goal. So, IMO, I'd focus on that word.
The Raptor Clan is the name of the mercenary clan that SHE (*smiles*) is a member of. The young members are called Talons. It happens she rarely uses a sword, being much better with her knives.
Maybe the name is a bit to esoteric. It didn't occur to me that what a talon was might not be in most people's vocabulary. *ponders* On the other hand Christine says you hear about talons too much in fantasy. *ponders more*
The name is definitely going to be in the novel as what the members are called. Whether that will be the title--still up in the air. I must admit I'm prone to assume that something that is part of my working vocabulary is common when that isn't always the case.
[This message has been edited by JeanneT (edited April 04, 2008).]
Sounds like title of a good action/fantasy story.
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited April 04, 2008).]
And I don't think the title is that much like the Feist book. They have one word in common. I don't think there is any way to have a title that won't have a word in common with other books of the genre. How many fantasies have the word Sword in them? It doesn't keep them from selling.
I think a much more salient issue, and the one I was looking for, is would the title tempt you to pick the book up and look at it. Christine said it wouldn't. Fair enough--and it's not a matter of feeling better. My feelings aren't invested. You're right that I was looking for an honest answer.
I'm just trying to decide if the title works. After giving it some thought, the discussion seems to have gotten side tracked, but I am wondering if a lot of people didn't know what a Raptor was or what a Talon was, if that might be a problem in it catching people's interest--or a publisher's interest for that matter which is the issue at this point.
Edit: For instance, if a lot of people would look at it and thing dinosaur when they saw the word raptor or name when they saw Talon--definitely not good. If you saw the title and yawned--not good either. LOL
And thanks for the comments. They have helped to raise some good questions.
[This message has been edited by JeanneT (edited April 04, 2008).]
Skadder, did I offend you? I hope not. It was a good point to consider. I actually originally had the title plural and changed it. LOL
[This message has been edited by JeanneT (edited April 04, 2008).]
So my question is: Do you have a great picture on the cover?
Well, that might be a good sign, kings_falcon. Getting readers as far as the blurb is good
[This message has been edited by JeanneT (edited April 04, 2008).]
It sort of makes the title misleading, doesn't it?
What about YOUNGLING OF THE RAPTOR CLAN? (A bit better, I think than, MAIDEN OF THE RAPTOR CLAN, or GIRL OF THE RAPTOR CLAN.)
CHILD OF THE RAPTOR CLAN?
I would never look at Feist's Talon of the Silver Hawk and mistake that he had taken to doing a naturalist treatise.
I'm still considering whether this title would be too close to that. But my feeling at the moment (subject to change) is that all I really need is a catchy title for selling it. The other might be better for an editor to decide.
I could easily be wrong though. Wouldn't be the first time. LOL
[This message has been edited by JeanneT (edited April 04, 2008).]
The Claw of The Raptor Clan
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited April 05, 2008).]
quote:
rap·torrap·tor [ráptər]
(plural rap·tors)
n
bird of prey: a bird of prey
[14th century. From Latin , “robber,” from rapere (see rape1).]
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
Hope this comes out looking semi-readable...