Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Pronouns

This is topic Pronouns in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Crystal Stevens (Member # 8006) on :

One thing that I have a lot of trouble with is the use of pronouns.

Is there any special ruling on who the pronoun should be assigned once the reader understands it refers to a specific character? And what about using pronouns when the conversation covers two characters of the same gender? Which character should be called he(or she depending on the situation) and which by their actual name? Does it matter if it is switched when starting a new paragraph or changed in the paragraph if it's obvious who is who?

I find myself running into these situations quite frequently when I write and would definitely like to know the rules when it comes to pronoun use. Any advice is appreciated.

Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :

Take comfort in knowing that other writers suffer from hyperawareness of pronoun usage. Pronouns are mostly invisible to a reader as long as they're not too frequent, unnecessary, unconnected to an antecedent noun, too remote from an antecedent noun, a too-remote pronoun preceding its noun, or antecedent/precedent confusion. There are few rules, other than the antecedent and precedent cases and certainty of knowing to whom a pronoun refers. Chicago Manual of Style has pages of recommendations on pronoun usage, but few about frequency or practical usage beyond placement relationship to nouns. Third person pronouns are the more frequent pronoun concerns that I stumble over. I mostly write around pronoun issues through varying syntax and recasting. Reading, hmmm...

The second person pronoun you is in a class of complications all by itself.

First person pronouns are almost exclusively in a stand-alone relationship, as are the expletive usage of it (It's just the way it is), the relative pronoun what (As it is, is what it is.) and interogatory pronouns, what, who, which, and sometimes the colloquial usage of they.

[This message has been edited by extrinsic (edited August 07, 2008).]

Posted by Zero (Member # 3619) on :

I think if I were to read "he" in a manuscript, I would assume it was the last referenced male character. I think that's how the mind works. That and context.

John slapped joe on the back. He collapsed to his knees from the force of the blow.

In this case you read "he" to mean Joe, partly--I think--because Joe was the last referenced character, and also--if not mostly--because of the context. We just don't naturally assume that John will fall to his knees from the force of slapping Joe's back.

I don't worry about it to much, trying instead to just let it flow naturally.

Posted by Rhaythe (Member # 7857) on :

quote:
The second person pronoun you is in a class of complications all by itself.

Agreed. I think the official rule for that one is "don't". And that includes giving orders to the reader, any form of "we" or "us", etc.

Of course, all rules are meant to be broken.

Posted by annepin (Member # 5952) on :

I think it's just a matter of reading through your work and confronting each pronoun. Generally pronouns will want to refer to the closest noun that matches in gender and person. Obviously, if you have more than one male character, for instance, you will have to make it clear through context or careful wording. Don't assume the reader will follow who "he" is.

Again, if it's not clear in context, the "he" will want to refer to the nearest proper noun. So, you can't simply establish to whom "he" refers, because it will likely change.

For instance:

Jesse grabbed the bottle. He opened it and poured a glass for Adam. "Here," he said. "Try it." since it's in the same paragraph, we can assume this follows the conventions of dialogue and is therefore Jesse who is speaking.

Adam swirled the wine. A foul stench emanated from the thick liquid. He put the glass down and scowled at Jesse. In this paragraph, Adam is the established character. Therefore, "he" no longer refers to Jesse but to Adam.

In the case Zero brought up, it's clear in context whom "he" refers to. Who else would collapse from the blow but the person who was struck? Be careful of that construction, though, because it can be confusing:

Jesse poured two glasses of wine and gave one to Adam. He took a sip. In this case, it's not clear whom "he" refers to. It could be Adam, but it could also be Jesse, who has a glass of wine in his hands.

[This message has been edited by annepin (edited August 07, 2008).]

Posted by JeanneT (Member # 5709) on :

Technically, in the later case that annepin mentioned the direct antecant would be the one the pronoun referred to but I think a reader would find it confusing. You have to be very careful in that situation to be sure both context and proximity match.

Posted by TaleSpinner (Member # 5638) on :

Here are some results from Google "pronoun ambiguity":

http://www.sparknotes.com/writing/style/topic_150.html

http://ace.acadiau.ca/english/grammar/pronoun.htm

http://www.buowl.boun.edu.tr/students/grammar/writing%20guides/pronouns.htm

The rule seems to be, if in doubt, disambiguate.

Cheers,
Pat

Posted by Zero (Member # 3619) on :

My mind automatically assumed it was Adam who took the sip. Which I find interesting, but, of course, I see your point, and I think what's important is to err on the side of clarity.

Posted by annepin (Member # 5952) on :

It would have to be Adam, because "he" scowls at Jesse. The other options would be odd since it would imply Jesse scowls at himself.

Posted by Zero (Member # 3619) on :

Oh, no, I was talking about the bottom-most example.

Posted by annepin (Member # 5952) on :

Oh, whoops! my bad.

Posted by Crystal Stevens (Member # 8006) on :

Thanks to all for the education. Some of it I already knew and some I didn't.

The following is an example of what I'm running into with my novella. In this example, the last time I use Silas's name is because saying "he" just didn't sound right. Would "he" work in this case or is it better to just leave it alone? I should add that the "she" in this example is in reference to a mare that "he" is leading to the ring. "skittish bay colt" and "the horse" are the same animal:

[He called her a dozen derogatory names on his way to the ring where he met Silas coming out. He waited for Silas to calm a skittish bay colt before Silas led the horse by.]

[This message has been edited by Crystal Stevens (edited August 08, 2008).]

Posted by annepin (Member # 5952) on :

Yes, it's good to mention Silas by name since otherwise we'd be confused about whether "he" referred to the MC or to Silas. It reads a bit clunkily because of the repeated use of Silas, however. You could reword to make it less repetitive:

[He called her a dozen derogatory names on his way to the ring where he met Silas coming out Since he waits for Silas don't know if we need to know he met Silas coming out. He waited for Silas to calm a skittish bay colt before Silas led the horse by.Could be: He waited for Silas to calm a skittish bay colt and lead it by. Or, perhaps: He waited until Silas calmed a skittish bay colt and lead it by.

Posted by Crystal Stevens (Member # 8006) on :

Oh, yes! You're version reads so much better. I've been agonizing over this paragraph for weeks and couldn't figure out a better way to phrase it. Thank you