It's the first serious one I've tried to write. It's existed in some shape or form for the past 8 years. I'm really passionate about it; it's full of ideas I've worked hard on and which are important to me, plus the characters have been around for so long they probably deserve a place on my Christmas card list. The problem is that I just can't finish it.
I started it when I was 13. I got it over the 100k mark, then it sort of petered out. By this time I was 14 and I hated what I'd written - I guess I outgrew it. So I started again. And again. And each time, the same thing happens - either I come up with a change to the plot that means I can't continue, or I despise what I've written so much that I can't force myself to. Now I realise I should have persevered to the end, but I never thought like that. What was the point, I told myself, if I'm just going to want to start over when I finish?
The current incarnation is the fifth. It's over 115k so far and is a long, long way from being done. When I started it, I swore I would finish. But now the same old problem is rearing its head. It's too long, and has taken so long that the early stuff is awful - I used to be so wordy I could make Mervyn Peake look like a minimalist - and I've changed my mind again. I'm sticking it out, but I'm losing interest and I know I'm not writing well.
I have a clear picture of the start of the novel, so I could just write that to get it out of my system. But what if I get carried away and end up rewriting again? Obviously, if I keep doing this I'll never finish, and I do want to finish. I'll never be able to call myself a writer if I can't.
Maybe I should just give up - but I haven't spent 8 years on something I care so much about to jack it all in. I still believe in the story; I think it might be more that I don't believe in myself. That, and my inner editor is on steroids.
How do I stop this? Should I give in and start over, or press on in the knowledge that I will want to redo at least the first half of it once I'm done?
I know it sounds trite and simplistic but it really is that simple when you boil it down. sit down and ask yourself what your characters are doing. Is it in character? Ask what they would do next? Not what you want them to do next. If these characters are so alive in your mind they will tell you what to do.
Also, don't concern yourself with length on a first draft. That is what revision is for. The story will be as long as it needs to be.
Just get it out.
~Anthony
To write a novel, even one not quite finished at the age of 13+ is noteworthy. I applaud your tenacity and focus. I have thought about writing for many years but was afraid to start. Isn't that silly? Hats off to you.
Second, Just keep writing- but maybe not this novel. You will only get better and the novel will improve. Maybe writing something else will trigger the thoughts or growth in skills that you need to push through the trouble. It's helped me.
Third, read the post that ReagansGame has about Plot Orphanage:
http://www.hatrack.com/forums/writers/forum/Forum1/HTML/005085.html
It's funny, of course. It also feels pretty true for me.
Leslie
[This message has been edited by JamieFord (edited September 04, 2008).]
However, I do think you might benefit from a break. Put it aside. Try writing short stories. It sounds as if you are learning the craft in leaps and bounds, simply by writing, and it's natural that your old stuff will be painful to read. Short stories let you increase your craft with much less time commitment. Maybe there's a short story you can write about one of your characters, even, his or her past, or just an anecdote. Better yet, just write about something completely new for a spell.
Alternatively, just finish it! It sounds like you haven't run into a plot issue yet, so just go for it. Do you know where it's ending? If not, maybe sit down and plot a rough course for yourself. Then schedule time for it and go for it. For now, ignore the length, ignore the fact that you think the writing is terrible. Turn that part of your brain off, if you can. That will come later. But it's important to try to get a completed manuscript so you can see what the story is. Once finished, let it age for a year or two, or as long as you can bear, then you can go read it with a critical eye. But don't go back and start rewriting, again, from the beginning until it's finished. You need to have the completed draft, if only for a sense of accomplishment, but more importantly to have the story in its entirety for you to review and critique.
Five drafts is not uncommon. 20 drafts is not uncommon, from what I read.
(I finished my first novel when I was eighteen. It was finished, but it wasn't very good. But a couple of elements---come to think of it, a couple of characters---popped up elsewhere in my work much later.)
If you are rewriting old stuff, you could be rewriting all the life out of it.
If you start it cold (without any previous versions to refer to), then you have a better chance of writing it the way it should be written, using the writing skills you have now. This is the recommended approach when you've got something you've worked on and reworked for a long time.
That Plot Orphanage thread is awesome. This one is definitely a relationship, make no mistake.
I did try the 'hit reset and start something else' approach a while ago. It almost worked - I think my mistake was going for another novel. I was never that committed to the new one, and I had devoted so much time to the world-building of my original novel I couldn't write a different novel without feeling guilty. It was an affair: Novel A was my soulmate, Novel B felt like a dirty bit on the side. So I drifted back to Novel A. Novel B is still around, somewhere, but it's stopped calling me - it's moved on.
I wrote half a page yesterday, which isn't much and which I didn't much like, but it's still something, so I guess I haven't given up just yet. I definitely want to finish it. It's going to be a tough old slog - maybe I'm a glutton for punishment - but I am going to get there in the end...
But yeah: maybe a break could do me some good. I should probably try writing short stories again. Time was when I would write a few now and then, as a way of venting ideas I liked but which won't go into the novel. It sounds like a good way of giving myself a breather without abandoning ship entirely.
Kathleen: yep, every rehash I start writing cold. I keep some plot elements of the previous version, but the changes are always so major as to make older versions completely unrecognisable. I think that's why I never thought of just redrafting when I was done - I knew a total rewrite would be necessary.
[This message has been edited by marchpane (edited September 05, 2008).]
That way you won't feel you've wasted all that world-building, at least.